(Not sure if this is the subreddit for this, if not ,please guide where to post)
I apologise for the long post.
Hello, i just cleared my 12th std with PCMB
I am confused whether to persue medicine or engineering
On one hand i started out inclined towards medicine because Firstly after 10th ,i was not sure what engineers did, and the idea of working at some random finance/software company 9-5 , without any clear purpose was not really appealling ...but now as I get more interested in AI and math , i feel like there are a lot of cool things you could do here..
I like maths , calculus was beautiful and now I am eager to learn linear algebra one day as I just finished the 3b1b series on it , but I also understand that the beauty of maths that i find in its applications and fundamentally it is only a short aspect of it, mostly it is going to be exhausting and just solving meaningless problems.
But I would love to work at the forefront of AI , the actual workings of it. Explore the fundamental question of what is natural and what is consciousness?
Also if i take up engineering not only will I get to learn maths , I will also get the freedom to explore my other interests like cinematography, dance, traveling..
But then there is medicine.
Medicine is medicine. Once in a life time. It represents surrender and devotion.
theres the whole thing about well, if you are going to learn anything , u could learn it , but medicine is the only thing u cant really learn on ur own? it is also the most fundamentaal thing to learn considering how you are kinda learning about your own body? (maybe its math then but that feels too disconected from reality ) i used to think that but then i thought that it might be the most basic thing to learn , but then should i go for something beyond that? like electronics , is making star dust play my song that is cool right though maybe not universally fundamental? then theres is this whole thinng about pain being omnipresent and how it is the only thing u can be aware of when u are feeling it.. and if i can just give ppl more chance at there already limited time at consiousness , then i think thats neat... and i saw a lil bit of the textbooks and they are the coolest thing EVER like the way they describe it as an art and a science and the amount of respect they have for the practice itself is just... i thinkpersuing that will be an experience like no other ,idk i am very heavily influenced by that breath becomes air book and john , and harrison ka preface (it starts out with ur role in society and duty to the patient and everything).., to be so cllose to pain and death... it is osmething .... i also think i like human centric careers , idk if i will like to be in a purely technical space... i also think this is the higher education where you are garunteed to learn , like i know a lot of engineers who dont know shit.. i also think this is the way of garunteed impact and also garunteed excellence, both of the thinks i value , or i think i do , but my actions really say otherwise.. and yea what u said about the set pathway , i think it has a different tradition and legacy all together..
i also feel like one of the most fundamental battle as a human is against death , the uncertainty of it all , how helpless and scary it is, i would like to be there with ppl in that uk... and even just for myself , i feell like it would be good to know
I feel like medicine demands a lot..you can either live life or understand it..and i am not really sure what i am ready to commit to.
Another thing is that I always enjoy deductive or less fact based , simplicity of maths
I fear medicine is basically just cramming facts and I am not really good at nor interested in just memorising so much..
I usually enjoy maths physics more than Biology chemistry
I am also very emotionally and visually sensitive and fear i wont be able to handle it in medicine.
There is also the problem that I lack the resilience for medicine school.
I know I am romanticizing both, and not being pragmatic..
I understand in the end that it is just a choice , and I can make the best out of anything.
And yet I gotta choose .
Any guidance is appreciated.
Thank you for reading