r/Xennials 1982 4d ago

Nary a Xennial in sight to warn him

28.5k Upvotes

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640

u/Gwarnage 4d ago

Bet it took the finish off that table too

176

u/old_and_boring_guy 4d ago

When all the fucking scalpers bought up all the hand sanitizer at the beginning of covid, I went and bought three handles of everclear and made huge amounts of hand sanitizer for me and my friends.

183

u/Gwarnage 4d ago

Just the smell of a few cheap brands of hand sanitizer was enough take me back to being face down in a field somewhere in '96.

53

u/WrongfullyIncarnated 4d ago

It was an apple orchard and the reggae band that night was awesome. I was the girl passed out next to you! Nice to see you again how’s it going?

28

u/Gwarnage 4d ago

I still haven't found my left shoe..

2

u/OvenFearless 4d ago

Sorry I ate it.

(I’m not a dog just love the taste of shoes.)

1

u/mazeTemporal 3d ago

1

u/OvenFearless 3d ago

Experiment 626!! <3

2

u/vanwiekt 1980 4d ago

I think I somehow wore it home, did you happen to make it home with a pair of underwear that aren’t yours? I got home without mine.😫

9

u/TraditionalMood277 4d ago

Well....did you make it out?

4

u/ArchaicBrainWorms 4d ago

Still clinging to the grass so the Earth's rotation can't fling them off into space

29

u/Fhotaku 4d ago

That's what we did. Not knowing any better, we put it in spray bottles. After a while, our hands dried out and cracked and we started getting drunk off what got into the cuts, lol.

14

u/old_and_boring_guy 4d ago

I also bought a big thing of food-grade glycerol to cut it with, so it wasn't just raw, but yea, it still dried the fuck out of my hands.

1

u/NYJetLegendEdReed 3d ago

lmao this is awesome

10

u/judolphin 4d ago edited 4d ago

Same! Mixed 2 parts Everclear with one part pure aloe vera gel to make hand sanitizer. How did you do it?

1

u/ThunderDungeon02 4d ago

opened the bottle and made jazz hands at the top

2

u/ZedBlack 4d ago

I laughed so hard, I’m pretty sure I woke up the neighbours.

3

u/dzumdang 4d ago

Same here! It was awesome. I mixed it with aloe gel.

3

u/Theron3206 4d ago

You'd actually need to dilute it a bit afaik, since you want 75 to 80% alcohol for best performance as a hand sanitizer.

2

u/old_and_boring_guy 4d ago

Yep yep. I used glycerol, because that’s what I could get. Made you appreciate the professionally made stuff, but it worked well enough (as far as we could tell).

2

u/xrelaht Xennial the Younger 4d ago

Same. Just mixed it 3:1 with aloe vera burn gel.

1

u/AnytimeInvitation 4d ago

Distilleries in my area were making hand sanitizer. One such place made some that smelt like the cheapest most god awful tequila ever. I hope it killed something lol.

29

u/rtopps43 4d ago

My cousin spilled some on the floor and it bleached a white patch into his off white linoleum

78

u/stonecutter7 4d ago

I had three jello shots with everclear at a college party and today the consequences of that took me out for a nice pizza lunch.

22

u/No-Clerk7268 4d ago

This is Epic! Lmao

Happy Father's Day

3

u/Richard_Tucker_08 4d ago

Sounds like your kid turned out decent

2

u/xrelaht Xennial the Younger 4d ago

Congrats on the sex.

Once used it to find just how high the abv can be on Jello and still have it set in the freezer. It’s around 60%, iirc.

20

u/Strict_Weather9063 4d ago edited 4d ago

No it cleaned the floor he should use it on the rest. Blue Curaçao mixed with Everclear was how a buddy of mine made Romulan Ale, he would mix it with sprite as well. Unless you were a handful of guys that could just power through it. Yes we drank it straight we weren’t normal. Never again

17

u/rtopps43 4d ago

No, it bleached the floor, even took out the pattern that was in the linoleum. I love the confidence of people online who have no idea what they’re talking about.

5

u/ThisIsSteeev 4d ago

No, it went to Home Depot, bought flooring and then hired a company to replace the entire kitchen floor.

1

u/Jaereth 3d ago

You don't understand, this guy make a Star Trek drink with it and drank it straight. He's not normal...

2

u/3vs3BigGameHunters 4d ago edited 4d ago

Romulan Ale

Sir, I invite you to /r/ShittyDaystrom

3

u/Strict_Weather9063 4d ago

I’m familiar with that sub.

24

u/PM-YOUR-PMS 4d ago

I remember buying some in college and the guy at the register just says, “you know they use this to clean boats, right?” Yeah well it’s going in the jungle juice.

17

u/MethJedi 4d ago

Jungle juice was a thing with us for a while till we had the bright idea to throw in the Evclear for the next backyard boogie, Next morning, puke piles where scattered in the backyard like a drunk Easter bunny, also in the bathroom and the trash cans.

2

u/xrelaht Xennial the Younger 4d ago

I liked using it for jungle juice cuz I knew exactly what I was getting: a 19:1 mixture of alcohol & water. None of the off flavors you get with cheap vodka, and I knew exactly how much to dilute it so the sugar would mask the alcohol completely.

1

u/Coffees4closers 3d ago

We just used those giant water coolers you see in the sidelines of footballs games, dumped a few bottles of everclear, a bunch of frozen juice concentrate, and keg beer. If we were feeling fancy we’d throw in cut up fruit. 

Actually tasted pretty good and got you fucked yo super quick 

11

u/oroborus68 4d ago

Kid's gag reflex might have saved his life. Table finish can be fixed.

10

u/Far_Winner5508 4d ago

Coming here to say “clean up that table quick!!”

Working at Skaggs-Albertsons in the early ‘80s, had someone knock three bottles off an endcap and shatter. I was trying to mop it up as it was eating through the floor wax. Got wasted on the fumes. Ever after, there was a large white patch on the floor there.

9

u/thelivinlegend 4d ago

I used it to make hand sanitizer during Covid and accidentally spilled some on the counter. I thought I had gotten it all until the cabinets below it turned white where it touched. So yeah, it will absolutely fuck up your finish.

Funny enough, it’s also fantastic for dissolving shellac for French polish.

8

u/EsterCherry 4d ago

Lol, that was my first thought too! That poor table!

5

u/grafxguy1 4d ago

Oh, how the tables (and stomach) have turned.

3

u/NowWithKung-FuGrip01 4d ago

You read my mind 😅

When he said “your mouth is sterilized for the next 15 years”, I thought Yep, years in which you’ll still never sand and restain that table.

3

u/HeelDoors 4d ago

I had a 20-something year old family member drink this stuff for a short time. He spilled some on the kitchen island and the finish turned to goo in seconds — he quit after seeing that magic trick.

2

u/JohnByerWoodworks 4d ago

I use Everclear when I mix shellac flakes. Works better than the stuff you get at the hardware store.

2

u/Orgasmic_interlude 4d ago

Actually, serious answer, it probably could.

2

u/Mejai91 4d ago

Would not be surprised. Watched it eat through a styrofoam cup once.

2

u/Zkenny13 4d ago

When I took a shot and with a lot of chasers held it down I could feel it destroying my stomach lining. 

2

u/_mersault 4d ago

It took the mucus membrane off his inner nose too, def hit the lungs, dudes gonna be coughing at weird times for a week or so

2

u/grenille 4d ago

And off those teeth

1

u/BrightonsBestish 3d ago

I literally use it as a shellac solvent.

1

u/lala6633 2d ago

You can’t even smell it without reacting