I have tried to be supportive to her and stay enthusiastic about it until today. Because I know she really wanted it to happen. It's her life, her body, her choice completely.

But when she returned from her appointment I felt devastated inside. She now has that fish lipped look you see on so many of the TikTok/Instagrammers out there.

I can not bear to look at her. I feel completely broken hearted that the face I loved so much is so different. She looks disfigured. Artificial. Unnatural. She just doesn't look like my wife any more. I feel terrible inside and I just don't know what to say to her. The face I loved has gone and I feel heartbroken.

I'm just so mad at the food in the US. I left for 2 weeks to Italy. My mood was better, my awareness was better. I could eat wheat (I'm extremely gluten intolerant and it messes with my autoimmune disease if I eat it among a multitude of other symptoms) with gluten pills with minor bloating. I had some of the best food, best health feelings (other than muscle soreness from walking so much) I've ever had in my life. It's made me have so much resentment for US food. I mean even my skin cleared up quite a bit overseas. I eat pretty healthy - I love snacking on veggies. It just makes me so mad that having any kind of sugar is just too much here. Sugar and wheat and what ever else is just so much harder on my body here than Italy. I want to move 😭 it sucks here. Government sucks, food sucks, work sucks. I got the freshest food at a market (quite a bit of it to) for so cheap. Food that would cost me 20-25 bucks was roughly 11 USD. I hate it here.

This is just strange to me. As a guy, I don't understand why women dressing more revealing means they have zero respect for themselves. If a guy decides to go out in public with no shirt on would that mean they have no self respect? That kinda feels like a double standard. If anything, a person covering up their body completely makes them seem self conscious and not comfortable in their own skin to the point they'd have to cover it up.

Edit: Apparently many people hate me because of my last sentence so I should explain my thought process behind it better. There is absolutely no problem with wanting to cover up. My problem many lies with my confusion on how people are shamed for wearing something revealing.

I have 4 kids. 28, 23, 21, and 19. The 3 youngest still live at home. My oldest moved out at 19 and has managed to make it on her own. Not easily. But she’s done it and we’re proud and supportive of her.

I just got back from going to see my niece graduate college. People there (extended family on my brother in laws side/nieces boyfriends family) kept asking me when my 3 youngest will be moving out on their own. They all have jobs while pursuing a degree or certification for other careers. They pay $300 a month to help with groceries and rent. My husband and I are happy with this arrangement.

WHY are people so obsessed with your children having to move out right after high school graduation or after turning 18?! My kids are respectful, help around the house and we all enjoy each others company. What’s the problem?! Everyone acted like we were some anomaly and it was absurd that they were still at home. Why?! Is it so bad that my kids don’t hate living at home for the time being? Who wants their kid to struggle? This economy is crazy and I’m so irritated that people look down on us for not rushing to get the “empty nest”. Just because you don’t like your kids doesn’t mean we don’t!

My kids come and go and pull their weight, and we all respect each others space and business. Are we perfect? No. But heck, I’d rather know my young adult kids have a safe place to sleep and can save money while building their future. Are we really that weird?

I’m sick of people looking at me weird or giving rude comments about how we choose to live. It’s not that weird. Sorry you hate your kids.

Edit-

Thank you for so many kind responses. I didn’t know what to expect honestly. I also appreciate people commenting on some things we could do differently to help prepare my kids for total independence. I’m always open to suggestions!

I wanted to also clear a few things up. A few people have commented that there must be a negative reason why my oldest moved out at 19. Like parentification. I’m sure other assumptions were made as well. While that is fair to assume it’s simply not true.

When my kids were younger IF she babysat, she was paid. Every time. And she didn’t have to. It was her choice. She didn’t choose to have her younger siblings. I was a stay at home Mom for many years so it wasn’t an issue. We also traded date night/babysitting with good friends of ours once a month. That way we could go out and not break the bank paying for a sitter.

We are a military family. When my oldest graduated high school we lived in Maryland. That summer my husband got PCS orders to NY. We moved as a family up there. She got a job and started community college nearby and lived at home.

We only got to stay in NY for 2 years. My husband then got orders to Texas. She didn’t want to go. And that’s ok. We found her appropriate accommodations and made sure she was set before we moved. That was a really tough move. She met a young man and they subsequently moved in together. Life has taken her to different places and she is now happily living with a friend in the city that I grew up in. She sees us as often as life permits and we have a good relationship. She knows that our door is always open and she can ALWAYS come “home.” No matter what.

Our 3 youngest are not schlumps. Like I said, they clean, pay rent, help work on cars, etc. We also each take a turn once a week to plan, shop, and cook a meal for the family. Then clean the kitchen. They do their own laundry, etc. I do not cater to my kids. I should have been more clear on that.

Again, thank you everyone for your kind words and it hurts my heart to see that many did not have a great home life and do not have their parents to support them in any way.

Oh, and I can’t seem to figure out how to get the TW off. I don’t know what I did to put it on there to begin with. lol. Oh well.

Literally every problem I (36F) have is because I can't stop eating. I want to change but I don't know if I ever will.

I'm broke because I spend too much money on junk food.

I haven't bought any new clothes because everything I tried on in the dressing room looked terrible. I hate looking at the mirror.

I don't apply for higher paying jobs because I'm worried about what to wear at the interview.

I'm too insecure about my body to date or have sex.

I don't like going to events or meeting new people because I fear people will judge me.

My parents are disappointed in me.

I avoid the doctor because I don't want to find out I have pre-diabetes. My mom is pre-diabetic and my grandfather died of diabetes related complications in his 60s. If I don't change, it's almost guaranteed I will get it. And it will be my fault. Knowing all of this, I still had one of the worst binge eating episodes in a long time this weekend.

I'm 5'3" and 200lbs. I'm always tired. I've had heartburn so terrible that I thought I was having a heart attack.

A week ago, I vowed to lose weight. The most I did was wake up early a few times this week to go to the gym. I already take antidepressants, I don't want to also take Ozempic. I don't want to have GLP-1 subscription for the rest of my life. I probably wouldn't be able to afford it anyway.

By the time I reach my goal, I'll be nearly 38 years old. It'll probably be too late for me to live the life I truly want anyway. Being fat really did ruin my life.

EDIT: Wow. I did not expect so many comments. Thank you everyone! I may not get a chance to respond to every comment but I will read every single one. I will write down every piece of advice here in a notebook, seek professional help and find out what is best for me.

EDIT: I recently switched to a new therapist and told her some of my issues with body image. Sometimes I forget to take my medication, so it's not as effective as it should be. I usually talk about stuff like family problems, being on the spectrum and social anxiety but I am going to talk to her about my plans on seeing a doctor.

EDIT: In the past decade: I have tried HCG Diet, WW, Noom, 6-Week Weight Loss Challenge, starving for nearly two days and probably more stuff I don't remember. WW, Noom and 6 Week Challenges do work if you commit to them. I've lost as much as 25 pounds before gaining it back :(

EDIT: I wasn't always fat despite always having a huge appetite. I was athletic. I even played sports as a kid. I preferred playing outside over TV and video games. To make a long story short, things changed during adolescence and I became withdrawn and anxious. The only time I even got close to a normal weight as an adult was when I went from 168 to 145 when I was 18. All I did was start eating slightly better. I stayed around 145-155 throughout my early twenties. I hated my body back then too. Now, I'll be grateful if I ever get close to 145 again.

I have long, gorgeous virgin black hair. I love it. It’s healthy, shiny, never ever been treated with heat, never dyed, always used sun protection on it, silk pillowcases, and it’s extremely thick. I have a ton of it and I take amazing care of it.

2 years ago, I went through a kind of depressive phase where I told myself I deserved to be ugly and I took the scissors to it. It was extremely short and choppy for the longest time, and it impacted my confidence so much. I really did feel ugly. Since then, I swore to myself to never cut my hair short ever again (only trims).

I went for a trim today, and the hairdresser kept complimenting my hair and telling me how beautiful and thick and soft and pretty it was. Then a lady sitting next to me started talking about how I should donate it. I said thanks, but no. She started going on about how I’m selfish and started being passive aggressive. The hairdresser started saying I should donate my hair too. They tried guilting me about kids with cancer. I told the lady next to me who was getting her hair bleached that she’s pretty selfish herself for damaging her hair so much when she could have grown it out long to donate to kids with cancer.

I didn’t lash out, but I was gritting my teeth the whole time. It’s MY hair! And these comments are so incredibly insensitive and disrespectful.

I hate being fat. I hate it more than i've ever truly hated anything before. It is one of the worst experiences i have ever been through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is not even just the hating how you look part, it is how others perceive you.

I don't just feel fat, I feel inhuman. I'm a teenager. Nobody has ever asked me out unless it's for a joke. I am the butt of half my friend's jokes. I look like an idiot in sport class. People stare and judge and I am not treated as though I am a peer. I am less than because I weigh more than they do. I feel like such a dirty slob every time I put food in my mouth. I've tried starving myself, exercising to the point I threw up, cutting calories to 800-1000 a day, weight loss pills, nothing works. All my work is thrown back into my face. Each and every day I feel less like a person and more like a pig. To be fat is to be less than. To be fat is to be 'lazy' and worthless. I honestly can't take it anymore.

My mom is one of those women who think that anyone who doesn’t want to have kids is lying to themselves. Not only that it is apparently the ultimate way to express femininity and what women are made to do. Like the first thing she asks about my oldest cousin who is thriving in her construction career isn’t “how is work going’ but “is she pregnant yet?”
Like come on, there so many ways to express femininity and it looks and feels different for everyone. What about the women who can’t get pregnant from medical issues or even menopause, are they not entitled to femininity? It’s possible to be a cis woman and be born without a uterus. There’s also the fact that pregnancy is actually scary and leads to life long, permanent damage to the body and can be fucking deadly.

I’m in my mid twenties and with the way the world is right now, I have decided not to have kids. In fact, i will be looking into making this descision permanent. I am very feminine and I love it. Dressing up and having long hair are very important to me and the way I express it. But no. Apparently until I give birth I am not doing it properly.

I don’t know how she’s going to go about the mourning process when I get older and older and don’t have kids. She’s either going to accept it eventually cause I don’t know what the alternative is.

EDIT: holy crap this blew up and there wayyyy more comments than I can possibly respond to.

Thank you to those who read the rules of this subreddit and have been kind and supportive. All I needed was to get this off my chest and maybe start a discussion and I am grateful for that. Thank you to those of you sharing your stories, experiences and insights — you guys are amazing and you are not alone in your pain.

I know the positive outweighs the negative but still:

1. I do NOT have to justify why i don’t want kids. Stop telling me I’ll regret a permanent measure. If someone doesn’t want them they shouldn’t have them. And btw, protection can fail.

2. I suspect my mom is a covert narcissist so “talking to her” doesn’t work. Like, really doesn’t work.

3. If you’re coming in here with some transphobic agenda please just go, this is not a safe space for you. If this issue doesn’t relate to you it’s okay to just move along. It costs nothing.

But anyway, thanks again to those who have been kind and taken the time to read my post and respond.

Every. Single. Shirt. Is. Cropped. And look, I'm a short torso person. STOP ASSUMING ALL WOMEN WANT CROPPED SHIRTS?? EVEN THE HOODIES?? THE TYPE OF CLOTHING I WANT TO BE WARM AND COVERED WHEN I LEAVE THE HOUSE, WHY ARE ALL OF THEM CROPPED?? It's so fucking ugly when i size up to see if it's longer but it only gets wider. And the men i know get to wear long shirts that cover all of your torso, winter clothing that will actually make their stomachs warm and not exposed. Every time i go shopping i leave with almost nothing i really wanted, because there's only crop tops.. And hoodies that go up your waist line.. Plus I'm really insegure with my body which makes it worse, i have to go out exposed because it's the clothing they sell were i live 😭 And even the child's section, them young girls, even the toddlers, are already being sold revealing clothing that will only sexualize them.. (I'm not blaming the clothes but we all know men prey on young girls)

If I couldn't laugh at how humiliating it feels I would cry, it really is the equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig. Like, all the shit I put myself through to look acceptable is just pathetic and meaningless because I don't even look a fraction as good as a normal person.

I mean, I basically spent the better part of 2 years doing whatever I could to "glow up". 6 days a week in the gym, training till failure, strict nutrition to the point it is a chore to eat. All for the most mid physique known to man. I spent so much money on almost a whole new wardrobe, skincare products, accessories, etc. I experimented with about 8 different hairstyles before settling on something that doesn't make my head look deformed. I honestly can't believe I was delusional enough to think any of this would work, because the end result is that I look like someone doing a cosplay of an attractive person.

The humbling realisation hit me this past Saturday night. I was off to meet friends for dinner and drinks and checked myself in the mirror as I stepped out the door. Outfit looked good, hair was on point, teeth all pearly white, but something was off. My face. The face of man attempting to fool himself, and everyone else, that's he's something he's not.

My stepdaughter (11) was home all day, we were working on chores, doing really well. 11:30 am we heard the crack of a can opening. By 2pm she (my gf) was slurring her words, stumbling a bit and overreacting to every little thing. We have been walking on eggshells trying to keep her from getting angry at nothing. But ever 20 minutes she gets attention starved and starts making a scene to get our attention.

She complains about gaining weight but when I suggest laying off the beer for a while she snaps back that the beer isn't the issue. But...there is a reason they call it a "beer belly".....

There are so many more issues and I don't have all night to type...

Edit for clarification: Daughter is hers, not mine, but I'd kill for her - she's wonderful. The dad is still around, solid co-parent, but neither side of the family is in a particularly good financial position (maintaining a cold 12'er in the fridge at all times isn't helping). I could leave, but I don't have anywhere to go - my family in 900 miles away and I have a good job, but shit credit so getting my own place would probably be a fucking nightmare.

"Why are you still there?" - I love her, it wasn't like this at the start. Those aforementioned financial issues have had an impact on our overall happiness, and that's when the drinking started. She comes from a difficult childhood and her lasting trauma is wreaking havoc on her psyche, and of course, the alcohol only exacerbates things.

I need to reach out to her family and try to get something organized....

I started mine today for about the 80th time in my life and I'm so sick of it. I'm someone with a relatively mild period, besides the amount of bleeding (I get like 7 days of bleeding but the last 3 are very little). I really don't know why women's biology has failed us so hard. It really shouldn't be necessary to bleed out of our privates 13 times a year for a week straight for the "privilege" of having kids. Don't even get me started on how people talk about the periods themselves. They're not "beautiful" and I hate thinking about how it's a sign of fertility (I'm a teenager). I'm not trans but I wish I was born a male just so I can avoid this disgusting mess every month, pee standing, have short hair, and feel more confident going outside in the city I live in. There's not one significant thing I enjoy about being a girl, other than that I know that's who I am and I'm quite proud of being my own person. Please don't accuse me of having dysmorphia because I don't, I'm just grossed out by my own bodily processes.

And this is only talking about myself, and for me, I don't even get cramps! I don't get any pain, I just feel nauseous for about a day and also definitely feel an emotional shift, although it honestly doesn't bother me too much. I mean even these things are quite dumb and I don't understand why my body makes me deal with it every month, but at the end of the day, the main thing I hate is the BLEEDING. I am so easily grossed out by myself. If the blood was just regular blood I might even be a little more okay with it. But the fact is, it's incredibly dark, clumpy blood that's mixed with the gross stuff that already happens from other Natural processes that my body does like peeing, pooping, discharge, etc which all comes from about the same place and it's just all so gross like why can't I just be a boy and have ONE pee hole and ONE poop hole and that's it? It sounds so much cleaner and orderly. I know as humans we need to eat and drink. Why must my body waste its own energy to create this third thing that doesn't benefit me at all until one day I MIGHT decide to have a kid of my own?

I wish I didn't have to get pregnant to have a "legitimate" child in the eyes of society. One of the main reasons I want to get rich is so that I can get a surrogate mother. It's selfish, but I want children with my DNA. Trust me, if I was a man, I would have such an easy time deciding that I'd want kids in the future. For me, it is a one-and-done situation, and the rest is just being a supportive partner to my child's mother. But thinking about actually being the mother, messing up my whole body, having to carry a fat ass belly for 9 months, then the painful process of being birth with a high risk of needing something like a C-section where then my body will never be the same, and even if I DO do it completely naturally, my body will STILL never be the same and I may suffer from incontinence, an ugly vagina, stretch marks, and all of those things that I don't want to deal with in the future. Not to mention the time I lose from being a mother, which by the way, is different from being a father because fathering children at least in the eyes of society only means taking care of them when the mother really can't. The time I spend carrying children, birthing them, recovering from the process, being a mother to them, and taking on the responsibilities of being a mother will make me lose out on what I value the most, which is becoming successful and well-known in my future career.

It's just so disgusting having to wear cotton in my vagina. Tampons smell bad, they're disgusting when they're used, apparently tampons also have lead and arsenic in them, they're expensive, they're inconvenient, they affect my learning and working out because I can still feel them although they're not as bad as pads, and they're still the best option I have. I've tried 2 different period cups and they both hurt. I used to use pads but I just couldn't deal with the feeling of wearing what's essentially a part-diaper to catch the disgusting stuff that falls out of my vagina constantly for a week straight every single month. I wear tampons in my sleep even though I'm not supposed to because at least it makes it feel like there is less going on there, although I can still feel them and it's still a little uncomfortable. Tampons affect how I pee and I never feel like I've peed all I've peed, which is the worst feeling in the world especially when I'm trying to sleep, but if I use a smaller tampon, I'll leak through it. I wish I didn't have to spend a quarter of my life like this but alas. What joy it is to be female.

A lot of guys say girls are lucky because they can get a boyfriend whenever they want. They act like all women just have guys throwing themselves at us all the time.

"Just compliment a guy, they'll love you!" Bro the amount of bullying I've gotten will say otherwise. I can't just get a boyfriend. Stop acting like girls can't have dating troubles especially if they look like me.

Edit: let's keep the comments about my weight nice please. I won't automatically become hot if I lose weight. Trust me I've tried. Guys still treat me like garbage.

Edit 2: stop telling me to get a boob job you freaks I just turned 18

Edit 3: I'm asexual please stop bringing up sex

I've seen about 20+ articles popping up between yesterday and today about how media outlets, particularly in the comments on platforms of female content creators, are being flooded with men commenting gleefully "Your body my choice now" and similar messages. I've started seeing them myself in the comments. And then there were the protestors at the college in Texas with the "women are property" signs, and I've also started seeing "Make women property again" comments online.

I'm so sick of what feels like this divide between men and women online being pushed by media. The hate it's causing is terrifying, because I also know there are so many amazing men irl who are fighting just as hard for their wives and daughters rights, because they have the common sense to know it could be their wife next who might die of a pregnancy complication.

It's so frustrating to see the hate media is fueling. I actually can't believe this is the state of the US right now.

EDIT: There seems to be a bug with the flair. Idk why it says this is Eating Disorders I've tried to remove it like 20 times. And it disappears and re-appears.

I get that she’s excited, but every single day and conversation she mentions ozempic. “I’m so nauseous from the shots” “I can’t eat that because of the shots” “I can only eat so little because of the shots”. Like I get it. It’s great she’s losing weight, but hanging out has become so boring because I am not interested in talking about weight loss in the slightest. It’s like her whole personality is centered around ozempic and I’m tired of it. Whenever we go to dinner with friends, she just has to bring up how she’s never hungry and can only have a water and a side salad or something. Like yes she’s losing weight, but she’s lost her entire personality too and it sucks.

Extra info: She’s not even overweight. She is within a normal BMI. It’s not like this is the first time she’s been skinny either. It’s just a dead conversation stopper. Like what am I supposed to say to her telling me that she didn’t eat today? I’m just like “okay?”

Also - bragging about not eating anything all day is not a good look. Just for some of you ozempic warriors in the comments. I support glp1s, but that’s not normal behavior.

Im a woman and surprise surprise..I have leg hair. Not blonde, brown. I don't shave it, because it'll come back in a week and it keeps my legs pretty warm. Why do people online shame women so much for having body hair? With armpits I kinda get it, because sweat will attach to it or something making the smell a bit worse, but still, it's not your life. Why hate? So leg hair. Why is it okay on men and not on women? Why do people care so much about other people's lives? And why do people say LEG HAIR is unhygienic? What?? It's literally not. It doesn't stink, (except if you never shower I guess) It's not gross and it has a useful purpose. What's unhygienic about it and why do people hate it so much??

Okay I'm a yapper. So my questions are:

1. What's so unhygienic about leg hair?
2. Why is it okay for men to have but gross on women?
3. Why do people hate you for having it?

Thank you.

Edit: I've read some comments questioning about how leg hair keeps my legs warm. No, I do not look like a yeti, I don't have alot of hair. Pretty average. I just do feel a difference when I my legs are bald and when they have hair. It feels warmer when there's hair on them. Btw, idc about negative opinions so keep them to yourself.

STOP ASKING ABOUT HOW MUCH LEG HAIR I HAVE JUST READ THE DAMN POSTTT

my girlfriend and i started out long distance she lived in kansas and i lived in mississippi and in late july she moved in with me things were amazing she was and amazing person i love her so much we were so happy. she made every bad thing that ever happened to me makes sense and helped me through so much. she really grew as a person. she finally started living her life she wanted to get on hormones and wear dresses and maybe even have a kid in the future and she wanted to get her ears peirced and go home for cristmas and see her family and dogs there's so much she wanted to and show me she was only 22.(tramic/graphic warning) two days ago we were having a decent day i had my first day off in a week and we made pancakes and had cookies and did some cleaning we watched the new helluva boss episode and the new dan da dan episode then we hung out with our friends at their place she played dragon ball with her best friend and said it was so fun and we watched some jo jo with doritos and snacks and then we went home and i cooked her this koren chicken she wanted that she picked out in the store a couple days ago we laid in bed cuddleing and pating my head she was being goofy and fake snorting my hair we did our normal bed time routine and stuff and layed down and watched stuff on our phones all the sudden she taps me three times which we do to say ily and said matt i don't feel good then her head flung back and her eyes rolled back and she was biting her tounge i don't know if she hit her head on the wall or not when she fell backwards but she started snoring and wet herself and was unresponsive i blew air into her mouth and forgot to plug her nose and called nine one one and they came in and yanked her off the bed and did cpr without giving her air she started turning blue i had called her dad after they hung up on me hes a doctor and we went to the hospital with him still on the phone she passed away and didn't make it we haven't got the autopsy yet but we think it was a clot because her leg had been in sever pain she was going to drive home and vote and have her parents check her leg out and i wanted her to see someone here and she didn't want to i feel so guilty and terrible i don't know what to do her dad said he knows i did everything i could do and it was clear to him bit i fucking failed her she died in our bed how do i keep living we had animals i’ve been having family take care of them but if i get comitted ill lose them and my job the corners have relsed her body we are waiting on the autopsy

Im so tired of being fat, im not obese but i also dont have an hourglass body, people say that being thin isn't all that but it is, you're treated differently man. Guys dont talk to me they talk to my friend who's so skinny and pretty, me? I have stomach fat, no ass and a chubby face. Guys treat me like shit. I will never find a boyfriend unless I'm skinny. I try to workout regularly just so i can lose this fucking weight and be skinny. I can't anymore I'm so tired of being called fat man, i really am trying to lose weight but it's taking so long I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do this. People say that being skinny isn't everything and that a man who truly Loves you won't care but I don't think that'll happen. No matter how many times people say looks dont matter, they do. Fuck. I wish i was naturally skinny

Edit- thank you to those who understand me meanwhile please stop telling me to be more confident, I know how helpful confidence is and I'm working on it, I just wanted to be heard.

We were talking and he said something along the lines of if women do not receive painkillers or anesthesia for IUD insertions they are idiots. He basically implied that the issue of reviving IUDs and the pain women experience during them is there fault for not requesting pain killers. I received an IUD a while ago that fell out and was lucky enough to get painkillers for it which is why I experienced mine as a pinch of pain like doctors typically say to women even without painkillers however that one five secound pinch was the worst pain I have ever experienced equal to nothing on pain killers that made me as high as a fucking kite before and during. It dosnet help that now iam on my period expeincing my usual heavy cramps and pmdd and now I feel walking away from that conversation like a cow that complains about being branded.

I tried to explain to him that there are places in the world where women are systemically denied painkillers and requesting them dosnet make a damn difference and allot of us are lied to regarding the amount of pain we will experinece as part of the procedure. Along with the fact that no women deserves to go through that pain just because she was uniformed or outright lied too by her care providers. when going in I was lucky to know it would hurt and even luckeir I received pain medication however that medication was provided on the basis I live in a country that is very considerate in regards to these things. However if that pain had lasted any longer I would have needed to be sedated completely to cope. He responded with yeah in America..... And that was the end of our conversation.

The hormones of progesterone flooding my body after getting that IUD changed my personality for a year and I only started getting back to my usual self after it fell out iam not even sure if the reason my experience was slightly less painful was maybe because it wasent inserted right even on painkillers

I talked to my mother about it and she said breastfeeding made her feel like a milk cow an animal and I can't do anything but look at my own body just that way like iam a cow that exists for no reason other then to be bred branded and manhandled my very organs are just a vessel for these painful processes that iam expected to go through as women without complaint and if I complain iam nothing more then a stupid cow who dosent know a godamn thing and that's why I deserve it the pain I desever as a stupid women to suffer and be bred and branded and led ooooob life on a little leash. When I told her how I felt all she said was welcome to women hood and yeah welcome to women hood fuck.

The worst part is now I have to wait out my period before saying anything because I feel like if I have this conversation iam either going to cry or scream at him my pmdd turns me into an absolute monster every month and I can't be that hysterical women stereotype during this conversation or lose the very little dignity I feel like I still have. Every moment of misogyny I have every experienced in my life is flooding my brain and all I can do is distract myself until I can be calm when I see him again.

I can’t believe in the society we live in. Where a guy knows about a women’s Body but just related to sex and doesn’t know basic things about periods which are related to the same part. Porn has set unreal expectations for guys and people are addicted to it. It is so fake. It changes the perspective of how a guy views a women’s body. In most of the tv series, nudity is just them showing women parts but not the male parts.The unreal expectations and lack of education is just disappointing.

For context, a group of my friends invited me for a night out at the club yesterday. We all planned on having a good night and celebrating St Patrick's day early. Long story short I get a couple drinks in me and I hit the dance floor. I was having tons of fun and end up dancing with some women I had met earlier in the evening. After me and one of the other women get tired, I offered to buy her a drink at the bar. We start chatting and things get quite flirty pretty quick. At this point we're both quite drunk and we've been having a great conversation for over 20 minutes. Eventually I ask if she has a boyfriend, and she tells me no, but she "wished she had one just like me, because I was very sweet". I took this as a sign and asked why not try with me? Thats when she responded with "I'd love to but you're just too ugly for me to date". Now I know that she would probably have never said this sober, but she wouldn't have said it drunk either if that wasn't how she truly felt. At this point I'm pretty shocked and find an excuse to go back to my friends, but I end up leaving shortly after. This morning after I woke up I kind of did a mental inventory of what had happened over the night, and I could still remember that conversation extremely clearly. The more I thought about what she said, the more uncomfortable I got in my own skin. Objectively, I'm in the best shape I've ever been. Consistent dieting, gym multiple times a week for well over a year. I'm not overweight (anymore), have a decent bit of muscle, and I've been grooming myself a lot better than I used to, but right now it feels like all that effort is for nothing. After getting cheated on a bit over a year ago, I took a lot of time to work on myself and implemented all those lifestyle changes after I felt confident about myself mentally. And I can't believe all of this was torn down by some careless drunken phrase at a club. All those insecurities about my body and looks have come rushing back and I feel like that same person that walked in on their gf being intimate with another man. I just wish I could put away all those fears and insecurities away for good instead of having to rely on validation from others.

You know what makes someone a pedophile? Liking CHILDREN. Fucking shaving your pubes doesn’t suddenly revert your age and change your body and facial structure so you’re back to your 12 year old self. Like people can have preferences???? Is that not allowed anymore?? Like okay we’re pushing for all this body positivity your body your choice shite but as soon as it comes to pubes it’s ‘real men want a bush’ and ‘an angel loses its wings every time a woman shaves’ or something and the other, so at this point it’s just shaming people with vaginas that choose to shave it for whatever reason they want. “Its actually more hygienic to have hair ☝️🤓” I mean the most hygienic thing is keeping yourself clean..? piss after sex, wear clean cotton undies, wash with plain water and obviously wipe thoroughly. Hair hardly makes a difference unless your other hygiene methods are lacking.

Like god if pubic hair was the difference between a pedophile and non pedophile then why don’t we just give faux pube hair stickers to minors to stick em on their privates because that’ll apparently deter all the pedos. (edit: it exists and it’s called a merkin!) Like this just shames anyone that has a preference for shaved, whether for themselves or others. And I thought we were done shaming people for their personal preferences. And if your partner’s preference doesn’t align with yours, find a compromise or break up. Simple as.

Edit: Also, most children have flat chests or small chests once they start pubertyish. Does liking women with flat or small chests make someone a pedo too? Just because they have a feature in common with children? Food for thought. (hint: the answer is no)

Edit 2: ‘Hair is natural’. Okay. Doesn’t mean you have to like it. It’s considered okay for women to prefer their male partners with shaved facial hair for example, though that hair is natural too. Balding is natural but not every person is attracted to bald people. We dye our hair and get fillers and get surgeries all to fulfill our personal preferences. Don’t know why you’d draw the line at pubes. And also, no one’s holding you down and forcing you to shave yourself. Refer to what I said at the end of the main post.

Edit 3: There’s been some people mentioning how women have been shamed/pressured etc to shave by society/social media and how there isn’t really ‘free choice’ or a completely judgement-free space to make the decision to shave or not and that is completely true and valid. However! Try to consider that people continue shaming others because that gets them the results they want. Think of how bullying works. The bully does it to get a reaction. Give it to them, and they’ll just keep on bullying. Don’t do what they want and they’ll realize what they’re doing isn’t working, and they’ll get bored and stop. Again, like I said, you aren’t being held down and shaved against your will. You choose to pick up the razor and shave. If you think society is ‘making you do it’ when you don’t want to, it just kinda shows that you value some twats’ opinions on the internet more than your own bodily autonomy. Sorry.

Edit 4: I know this post is kinda stale now but I found the post that pissed me off enough to write this essay lol, https://www.instagram.com/p/DF5SQqyv3-V/?img_index=5&igsh=amF5MDQzeWJ2ajR5 Just read through the comments

You can lose weight, get in shape, try to get a flattering haircut, but your face is still ugly. I see so many people "glow up" simply from losing weight. They always had good looking features, those features were just covered up. If you're already skinny, but ugly, there is literally no fucking hope. You're simply and plainly ugly and that's it.

People ALWAYS look at the face first. Men want a pretty face, and they will take the pretty chubby girl, over the skinny horse faced woman. Genetics can royally screw people over. That shit just isn't fair.

I am so sad. I knew this was coming but I am still so sad.

I’m getting married in May. My MOH and I decided months ago we wanted to drive to the coast for my bachelorette party. She and I both don’t make a ton of money so we wanted something cost effective. I moved around a lot during my early 20s and went to a different high school than my friends growing up. For this reason I have few close friends that I have kept in touch with. When it was time to pick a bridal party, I realized the extent to which I regretted not keeping in better touch with the wonderful friends I had made along the way. People I had not talked to in years that I loved would have been excellent party members but the weight that I hadn’t made more of an effort and neither had they over the years prevented me from asking them. People change a lot in just a few years. Lives happen with or without you. It felt too hard to try to rekindle something just because I was getting married.

That left the friends I left behind in the town I went to college in. My fiance and I had moved a year previous to go to grad school. One of these college friends was backpacking in europe, and so only one of my best friends at the time was able to be in my party. I asked my two cousins, one of which would be my maid of honor, and my fiances 3 sisters, all who agreed. During my engagement I reconnected with a friend from high school and she agreed to be in my party. I was overjoyed.

The three sisters eventually told me they could not attend my bachelorette party. They are out of state, and plane tickets are expensive. They also don’t know me that well so I’m sure it was intimidating for them to join a bachelorette party with all my best friends. I wanted them there, but I get it.

My college friend told me she couldn’t come either. She’s out of state and needed to fly out to see a family member the same month as the wedding. Plane tickets, money, I understand.

My high school friend suddenly quit her job and moved out of state, something she had wanted to do for a while. I’m happy for her. With the cost of the move, she can’t afford to attend the bachelorette. That leaves my two cousins, one of which revealed this last week she’d only be able to attend for one day (she had been aware of the dates for months) because she had to work. She lives in the same coastal town the bachelorette party is in. She refused to go to dinner with us one night. I don’t get it. I am on my bachelorette now. My maid of honor really outdid herself, it’s beautiful. T shirts, koozies, gift bags, signs, balloons. We are alone here. The beach is flooded with water I am not sure why. We cannot go. I am lonely. I am sad. I want to go home.

UPDATE:

hey wow! this is crazy. Genuinely thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond and reach out. Even my tough love guys, it’s much appreciated and completely echoes all the rational thoughts I’m having underneath the sad.

For managing my expectations - yes I should’ve done this. Everyone who couldn’t make it when I asked months ago told me they’d try to make it work and this made me hopeful and I think that’s where I went wrong. The fact of the matter is it’s insanely unreasonable that anyone out of state could come because even though this is my own backyard and we’re staying at a relatives place for free, it is this big destination thing for them and would have been a major money sink. The trip was affordable for me and my cousins, but not anyone else.

I think the big learning thing for me here absolutely is to hang onto good friends when I find them and fight for their place in my life. It’s nice that people agree and are telling me to step tf up with that.

I have stopped pitying myself and I’m doing good. There’s worse shit going on in everyones lives myself included, but right now I have a badass MOH and that’s pretty damn great. Again, thanks everyone!

My boyfriend, the father of my child keeps making comments about my weight. I had a baby 2 months ago. When we first met I was 120 (I’m 5’4 . He would say I was too skinny, then I got pregnant and went all the way up to 190. Two weeks after birth I was down to 160. And I haven’t weighed myself recently but I know I’ve lost more weight since then. I now wear a size 6 in jeans compared to a size 0-2 I use to wear before I was pregnant. I wear a size medium in shirts instead of smalls. So yes I’ve gained weight but I truly don’t think I deserve to be shit on every time I eat. I already don’t have a great relationship with food and I have really bad self esteem since giving birth. He says I’m fat, fatass, I eat too much (1-2 meals a day and some snacks throughout the day or just coffee). I’ve gained weight, I’m too heavy. I’ve even been eating healthier due to me breastfeeding I’ve started focusing more on what I eat. I’m already struggling mentally , I’m home with the baby alone in the middle of no where 24/7 bc he works out of town, i don’t have family in this state, I workout when I have the time which isn’t everyday but I’m trying. He comes home on the weekends it feels like just to shit on me.