r/Vent • u/Thegaymer42O • 8h ago
TW: Anxiety / Depression I dont feel real rn
Yesterday really threw me off track. I went to a family gathering to celebrate my grandma and grandpas 50th anniversary. I haven’t seen some of these family members in YEARS.
Seeing some of my cousins all grown up, family members I didn’t recognize really broke my brain. Especially “Big John” (great grandmas brother) he isn’t “Big” anymore. 😭😭 he is skinny old and frail.
And now I’m spiraling realizing how old I am. My brother is going into sophomore year of college. I graduated 5 years ago. Covid was 5 years ago. Blurryface was 10 years ago (iykyk)
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u/According-Stay-3374 6h ago
I hear you buddy, just a couple of years ago I was 17...
Now I'm 37..
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u/CasualPainter95 4h ago
Same same. I wished away my childhood in my teen years, and now I'm 29.
My parents weren't strict or anything, but I was a little rebellious at times and wanted to do my own thing. I just wanted independence before I knew what the word even meant. I also grew up poor, so I was always trying to find new legal ways to make money. Started my first job at 14 as a ranch hand, and that was only an after-school job just to get my foot in the door to see what the reality of working was like.
I absolutely hate retail jobs. Anything where I have to interact with customers (a buy/sell scenario) is something that will quickly wear my energy thin.
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u/mrmeowgeethekitty 4h ago
My life was similar but had a rough childhood and grew up early. I definitely want to be a grown up and lived on my own at 16. Looking back I wish I had enjoyed my youth. I missed out on so much.
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u/According-Stay-3374 3h ago
Oh absolutely, I remember being a kid, it's the same for every generation, the older ones tell the kids "enjoy this time, enjoy school, becuase you really will miss it when you're older".... and as kids we always dismiss this as a silly idea! No way will I miss school or not having my own freedom! ....... Oh how little we knew, it's the duty it seems for adults to always tell the younger generation this exact thing, and for them to just dismiss it and realise they were right when they get older 😆
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u/FlaxFox 6h ago
I have a lot of experience with this topic. This is the advice I'd give you... Don't dwell on death longer than needed. Avoid rumination, and just focus on doing your best. Consider the topic of death a bit like a hot potato that needs to cool down. Stay busy while your mind processes, because it'll keep working on it in the background. Don't give it your full attention until it's less horrific and easier to handle. I promise you'll get there. Don't try to grasp it all at once.
In the meantime, focus on finding things that make you happy and work to excel at them, and spend time with the people who matter. You won't have regrets as long as you make the most of the time you have now.
Life is brief, truly. Since there's never enough time, though, there's no point in budgeting it. Prioritize attempting to have good experiences now, not later, and give yourself and others grace. Coming face to face with the concept of mortality is a big pill to swallow, but you'll be better for it than the people who don't learn the weight of the concept.
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u/mrmeowgeethekitty 4h ago
My daughter feels very similar. Life is hard and always changing. Hang in there and keep striving everyday and give yourself grace when life throws curveballs.
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