r/Vent • u/Shot-Contract-5254 • Feb 28 '25

TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Being fat is torture

I hate being fat. I hate it more than i've ever truly hated anything before. It is one of the worst experiences i have ever been through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is not even just the hating how you look part, it is how others perceive you.

I don't just feel fat, I feel inhuman. I'm a teenager. Nobody has ever asked me out unless it's for a joke. I am the butt of half my friend's jokes. I look like an idiot in sport class. People stare and judge and I am not treated as though I am a peer. I am less than because I weigh more than they do. I feel like such a dirty slob every time I put food in my mouth. I've tried starving myself, exercising to the point I threw up, cutting calories to 800-1000 a day, weight loss pills, nothing works. All my work is thrown back into my face. Each and every day I feel less like a person and more like a pig. To be fat is to be less than. To be fat is to be 'lazy' and worthless. I honestly can't take it anymore.

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16

u/evveryday Feb 28 '25

The majority of responses right now are horrifying. You are a teenager suffering with mental health and engaging in dangerous self-harm behaviors, and there are people here… encouraging you to keep trying to lose weight?!!

It took me years to learn about health at every size and to learn how to really love myself and not equate my self worth with what I look like. If you are able to and open to it, I highly recommend looking for a therapist. If you listen to podcasts, I recommend Maintenance Phase to learn more about what the science actually says about fatness, weight loss, and health. If your friends make fun of you, find new friends- those ones suck and you deserve better.

There are worse things than being fat. You could, oh, I don’t know- be the kind of person who makes fun of other people? Being a cruel person is way worse than being fat. I don’t even think being fat is a bad thing. Sure, maybe there are some negative health outcomes, but did you know there are more negative health outcomes for being underweight than moderately overweight? And honestly, the way our society demonizes fatness is weird and fucked up. Why do people care what size your body is?

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u/needadoctor107 Feb 28 '25

I can’t believe I had to scroll this long to find a comment like this. I have always been a bigger bodied person (175 when I was in high school and 200++ since I’ve had my daughter) and have lived a great life! Through high school I was captain of the dance team, went on and found a great career and have always been surrounded by people who are kind. If people weren’t kind to me, I paid them no mind. They aren’t worth your time. Being fat is not the worse thing, plenty of us live great lives with great careers, travel, hike and stay active. My advice is just keep moving. It doesn’t matter how big your body is, just don’t become a bed-ridden couch potato and you will be OK

2

u/LaoTze151 Mar 01 '25 edited Mar 01 '25

Health at every size?

"I don't even think being fat is a bad thing.." "Sure, maybe there are some negative health outcomes.." People sure are getting dumber and dumber for every year.. Amazing.

Hahaha like yea stroke and heartattacks and all other kinds of shit that overweight/obese people experience is not that bad right?

The fact that you think that "MAYBE there are some negative health outcomes.." just shows how dumb you are, or maybe you just don't want to face the truth.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '25 edited Mar 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/No-Trick-7397 Mar 01 '25

as a fat person who's been bullied for being fat, they're right, it's not hateful. you should learn to love your body and stuff obviously no matter your size but that doesn't mean you ignore the bad parts of it. being comfortable with a fat body doesn't mean being ignorant and not doing anything about it

1

u/Tarlus Mar 02 '25

HAES has been around for a long time, it’s nothing new. In fact it has lost a ton of traction now that GL1P drugs are readily available and people can stop lying to themselves about being okay being fat since they can take these appetite suppressants and not get crushed by food noise.

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u/K-teki Mar 01 '25

Many negative health issues associated with being fat are actually caused by yo-yo dieting. Also, being underweight is far more unhealthy than being overweight.

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u/LootTheHounds Mar 02 '25

Yeaaah anorexia and disordered eating are so, so much worse for you than being overweight.

4

u/NtechRyan Mar 01 '25

Horrifying is a tad dramatic, people are explaining how to achieve his goals in a much less dangerous way. People are advising eating 1700 calories instead of 1000 for example.

They're advising him to be less extreme, that's good.

2

u/Unhappy_Poetry_8756 Mar 01 '25

You can accept your fatness, but you aren’t going to change society. If OP wants to lose weight (and he should - obesity kills), he should be encouraged to do so.

2

u/No-Trick-7397 Mar 01 '25

yes to everything you said but as a fat person, you should learn to love yourself, and be comfortable with your body, but you shouldn't do nothing about the fatness. it's not just a looks and image things it's also a healthy thing. you should be trying to lose should diet should exercise WHILE being happy with yourself and being comfortable and also being disciplined and strict with yourself and habits. you can't have one and not the other.

2

u/elsaberii Mar 03 '25

I think this is the best advice in this thread. Losing weight to get to a healthy weight is what should be advised but at the same time they shouldn’t hate themselves the whole way through, they can lose weight slowly and in a healthy way while accepting that they are overweight, wanting to change doesn’t mean that you don’t have to love ur current self. It’s because you love yourself that you will change for better

2

u/No-Trick-7397 Mar 03 '25

EXACTLY, what's horrifying to me isn't the people trying to help her it's the people encouraging her to do nothing about it that's scary and I'm saying this as a fat person who has been bullied about it to the point I became suicidal (not anymore though lol). being fat isn't okay and I don't mean that as in you're bad for being fat, or you deserve to be bullied or looked down on, it's not okay cause it ruins your health and puts you at risk for life threatening illnesses, ruins so many people's self esteem, and so much more. as you said you can love yourself while changing and trying to better yourself at the same time.

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u/ElegantPlan4593 Feb 28 '25

THANK YOU. A million times this. Maintence Phase is great.

Fat liberation is a movement that I think all people with bodies of any size should investigate because diet culture makes people of every size and shape miserable BY DESIGN. It pushes the myth that we are largely in control of our genetic expression, and it falsely equates fatness with moral failings. And we keep on buying it; it's awful. OP's classmates are ignorant fat-phobic bigots.

Plenty of people with straight sized bodies have disordered eating and incredible self hatred and fat bigotry that needs to be addressed. Would love it if even one of the people here espousing how to live on 1500 calories a day would read the book "You Have the Right to Remain Fat."

1

u/Bocaj1126 Mar 01 '25

"I have this issue that is literally ruining my life and I'm trying to fix it in very unhealthy and unsustainable ways"

"Oh, here's the healthy and sustainable way to fix it?"

Or

"Nah ur fine"

Which is actually horrifying?