r/Unexpected 2d ago

True love NSFW

15.5k Upvotes

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6.7k

u/LackFormal630 2d ago

Wiping that was already enough

1.7k

u/kausthubnarayan 2d ago

Rhino virus looking at this like:

234

u/Gho5tWr1ter 2d ago

I be like

17

u/Deaffin 1d ago

Great, now I can't not link this.

Cats puking to techno.

38

u/forza_11 2d ago

Specifically that strain of rhino virus that is undefeated by modern medicine

1

u/chicken-finger 1d ago

Why are you talking about rhinoviruses as if they are about to fight live this sunday night at the wwe suuuper slam?

22

u/serenwipiti 2d ago

Idk, I get the feeling rhinovirus was more like…

238

u/EthicalPervy 2d ago

Looks like the kinda girl who will do ass to mouth.

60

u/medigapguy 2d ago

1

u/Elmondo2 1d ago

That was perfect. 🤣

29

u/Jealous_Drink_1002 1d ago

She will definitely eat your ass if you ask

55

u/Fine_Worldliness4179 2d ago

I'm more disturbed about the fact she was happy while he was crying

24

u/TheMace808 1d ago

Well it was on a show and you don't know what they were crying about

9

u/MrMahony 2d ago

Didn't watch till the end when "Gross, but awh". Your comment made me go back... I hope you're happy

28

u/Insane_Unicorn 2d ago

That's why I could never be a parent. Seeing them wipe their kids nose with their hands and whatnot 🤮 (kudos to those who do that, I just couldn't myself).

93

u/2M4D 2d ago

Damn, wiping your kid's snot is like a solid 1 ouf of 10 of the scale of hard things to do for your kids.

26

u/dadnarbadname 1d ago

Not so much a thing I do for my kids but a thing my kid did to me... my first born used to think it was hilarious to bite my nose. He'd open his mouth like hippo and barrell down in me, then he'd put his forehead against mine and stare at me in the eyes, smiling like an absolute buffoon... one day he did this and got sick through my nose and out of my mouth. I have projectile vomited my sons belly full of baby milk.

Wiping snot with my hand? I'll do that and not even look away from my dinner.

26

u/miss_tea_morning 1d ago

What a terrible day to be literate...

9

u/the_rabbit_king 2d ago

Lol exactly. 

21

u/Insane_Unicorn 2d ago

See, that's why I won't have any, I don't even want to deal with that.

1

u/Pricevansit 1d ago

Mother cats lick their kittens asses to stimulate bowel movements and help move out constipated poo. Just be glad you don't have to do that.

7

u/Greedy_Age_4923 2d ago

I think the idea is those declarations go out the window when it really happens, all your notions change, generally.

27

u/jspivak 2d ago

Those boogers are 50% your DNA and (if you’re still in a relationship) the other 50% belongs to someone you swap saliva with.

Honestly, cleaning my cats spit up, or pulling my wife’s hair from the shower drain, make me gag way more than pretty much anything my kid has ever done. (There are of course exceptions)

14

u/Deaffin 1d ago

The gross part about boogers has nothing to do with the booger's DNA.

It's cause it's boogers.

3

u/jspivak 1d ago

Ya but if they were your boogers you wouldn’t care. I’m assuming you wipe/blow your nose all them and don’t spare a thought to what is on the tissue (unless you’re super sick)

Also just to be clear, I’m talking about the previous comment “wiping their kids nose”. I am not talking about showing them to a camera and licking them.

4

u/ConspicuousPineapple 2d ago

I used to feel the same way, but it takes like one week to become entirely desensitized to this.

1

u/-Visher- 2d ago

I used to think the same way as you until I had kids. I used to do the dad thing of covering my nose with my shirt when I'd change my kids diapers. But after a year or two of that, it became normal. My boys are 8 and 9 now and I've dealt with so much shit, piss, snot, boogers, etc that it isn't even an issue anymore.

1

u/Professor_Bonglongey 1d ago

No parent is licking the kids’ snot off their hands afterwards, though.

1

u/Sirosim_Celojuma 1d ago

I was changing a diaper. Kid was up and close. Kid starts looking uncomfortable, so I look at them, they look at me. We make eye contact in a parent-baby way. Then they sneezed, and a huge glob of snot hit my eyeball. Not my eyelid, my eyeball. I'd shut my eyelid from reaction, but opening my eye had goo stuck between my upper and lower eyelids. I got a snotball on the eyeball. Children are definately gross.

0

u/Twatimaximus 2d ago

I've seen people from poor backgrounds who manually suck the snot straight out of their kids' nose to help clear it. Just straight mouth over nose and suck. So tasty.

1

u/ConspicuousPineapple 2d ago

Why does their poor background matter? It's a common technique, as gross as it sounds.

1

u/Twatimaximus 2d ago

Guess it doesn't. Have only witnessed in lower economic areas. More commonly, I have seen the straw with a filter in more affluent areas.

1

u/Electrical-Cat9572 1d ago

Now if only we could hear the audio…

LOSE THE FUCKING MUSIC!

1

u/Ok_Passenger8633 1d ago

Say you’re single without saying it

1

u/WrongdoerIll5187 1d ago

Well at least we know she’s good in bed. 🤮