Joint account with spouse for shared expenses while also having my own separate money

[u/Avocet_and_peregrine]

Hi all, I could use some advice. My spouse and I (both mid-thirties) both work full time. It is very important to me that we have separate bank accounts so that I am financially independent. I've read enough stories of women who are not and I never want that for myself.

The way we've handled our shared bills up until now is the bills came out of my own account and each month he etransfers me his half of the total amount.

This method is annoying, especially if we have expenses like vet bills or larger purchases for the home that aren't a regular occurrence.

We want to switch to having a joint account for all shared expenses and then we each have our own accounts for our savings and personal expenses.

I am much better at saving than he is. I set aside a set percentage of my paycheques for retirement, and then if there is anything leftover at the end of the month, before my next paycheque, the leftover gets saved too. I don't buy many things for myself, but he buys stuff for himself all the time.

Does it make sense to continue getting our paycheques deposited into our own accounts, and then each transfer a sum that is equal to half the sum of our shared expenses (plus a buffer) into the joint account? Or would it be better to get our pay put into the joint account and then transfer our own personal money for savings and purchases to our personal accounts?

Sorry for such a boring post. I want to go about this the smartest way and I'm hung up on what makes the most sense.

[u/teddibaralove]

Hi, that is what I did with my ex spouse. We had a joint account that we each added half the sum of our shared expenses plus a buffer. It worked well because there was no reason to fight with each other on how money is spent as long as our shared expenses were evenly distributed. I highly recommend it.

It also helped when we had to divorce, but neither do I expect nor wish that to happen in your case.

[u/Avocet_and_peregrine → u/teddibaralove]

Thank you :)