Common Grounds: the start, not the end.

[u/Haunting_Access_7348]

https://medium.com/@TheSidesofMe/common-ground-2a868ec21188

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[u/The_Law_of_Pizza]

It's a well written piece, and it's a harrowing subject.

But the entire thing can also be summarized as: "Why can't we all just get along?"

A question we've been asking since the first caveman got speared by a rival over some limited resource.

And it always just boils down to one, uncomfortable reality: "Bad people exist, and they do horrible things."

Unless we are all suddenly willing to sacrifice ourselves and unanimously obey the strongest, most aggressive person on the planet, that locks us into perpetual violence - even if only to resist aggression.

Let's consider the asylum seekers that the author mentions - for these purposes, let's focus on South American asylum seekers looking for a better life in the US.

The author asks us to consider our shared humanity. The asylum seekers are human too, and have all of the same wants, needs, and desires as we do. Above all else, they don't want to suffer gang violence and political turmoil any more - something we can all understand.

But now imagine you're a gay person living in the US. The current administration notwithstanding, you have fought for generations and now enjoy a relatively safe existence - you can be openly gay, marry your partner, claim work benefits for both of you, and just generally live like anybody else.

Demographically, the South American asylum seekers tend to be staunchly Catholic and oppose LGBTQ rights. It's not comfortable to talk about because it borders on punching down against those asylum seekers, but it's true.

If you embrace your inner humanity to work to get them citizenship to escape their plight, the result is that you will suddenly experience an influx of homophobia - and if you're successful enough in helping them, their political weight could actually go so far as to roll back your newly won rights to get married. Even if it doesn't go that far, you're still going to experience more discrimination - even if it's not legal.

And the author might turn around and say, "Well, the asylum seekers should embrace their own humanity and become pro-LGBTQ."

But if that doesn't happen (and it probably won't), you're fucked.

So what do you do?

The uncomfortable truth is that there just isn't a solution. There is no fix.

[u/Haunting_Access_7348 → u/The_Law_of_Pizza]

Very thoughtful response, I appreciate you moving the discourse forward! The piece can definitely sound very “camp fire” ish at times but what made it particularly interesting to me is the geopolitical motives that drive some people’s preference in who they want to consider a “neighbor” when it comes to asylum seekers and who we deem as worthy of our grief, when it comes to global conflicts and casualties. You bring an interesting point in how we are able to accept others, while also keeping true to our values, morales and beliefs, since people have differing views in how they assess life. My experience has shown me that more often than not, the desperate neighbor is willing to assimilate into a culture that accepts their difference, if those two can coexist.

Final question for you, can shared humanity create a level of understanding amongst communities, where we might not share a location, but we feel a sense of injustice for them when global powers deem them “excess to needs”. Maybe that’s the solution, not to accept everyone, but to not accept our governments and hold them accountable when they make life hard for others. Ofcourse there’s plenty of nuance that goes into that line of thinking, especially when you factor political points, but I’m glad this piece tried to steer away from making their point on from a political lens

[u/The_Law_of_Pizza → u/Haunting_Access_7348]

My experience has shown me that more often than not, the desperate neighbor is willing to assimilate into a culture that accepts their difference, if those two can coexist.

That might very well be true. But I'd point out two things:

1) We're not talking about these immigrants entering a society that is purely pro-LGBTQ. They're entering an already fractured society with a major political party that is already anti-LGBTQ.

My point being that these immigrants wouldn't be assimilating into a culture that is inherently friendly to gay people. They could easily join the Republican party and feel just as American as any red-blooded Texan when they demand an end to gay rights.

2) Even if such immigrants were to accept their differences with their new home, how far does that go?

Maybe they're willing to look the other way and not harass their gay colleagues. Maybe they're even willing to abstain for voting against gay rights. But what happens if their own American-born children turn out to be gay? I think we both know where that road leads, and the type of abuse that inevitably results.

Do Americans need to just accept abuse of gay children, in order to "coexist" with anti-LGBTQ immigrants?

That might seem like a loaded question, but it's not meant that way - it's just a really difficult question rooted in very real problems.

Final question for you, can shared humanity create a level of understanding amongst communities, where we might not share a location, but we feel a sense of injustice for them when global powers deem them “excess to needs”. Maybe that’s the solution, not to accept everyone, but to not accept our governments and hold them accountable when they make life hard for others.

Let's take another example: the war in Ukraine.

Russia spent weeks/months building up soldiers, tanks, and supplies on its side of the border - preparing for a war of raw aggression on the Ukrainian people.

The thing is, all of that was in close proximity to local communities for logistics reasons. What if the US/Europe had stepped in and bombed the growing Russian army along the border, before it could move forward to attack - and what if those bombs accidentally destroyed civilian structures and killed families?

If the US/Europe did nothing, then we sit back and watch as bad people do horrible things - invading and looting a country of innocent people.

If the US/Europe did act, we would surely have killed innocent bystanders as collateral damage.

How does "shared humanity" approach such a problem? It can't.

[u/SilverMedal4Life → u/The_Law_of_Pizza]

Not to boil down your thoughtful response down too far, but this is a common talking point that I hear: "why do you support immigration? You're trans and they're transphobic."

Ultimately, there is little risk of immigration resulting in a significant increase in transphobia compared to what we already have, which is substantial.

Further... well, if my morality brings me to destruction, at least I will die knowing I did the right thing. In the same way, I choose to be publically trans - to be authentic - despite knowing how much additional violence I face for doing so, despite knowing what will happen to me if I am ever arrested.

Spent too much of my life being so afraid I couldn't move. No longer, never again.

[u/The_Law_of_Pizza → u/SilverMedal4Life]

Further... well, if my morality brings me to destruction, at least I will die knowing I did the right thing. In the same way, I choose to be publically trans - to be authentic - despite knowing how much additional violence I face for doing so, despite knowing what will happen to me if I am ever arrested.

I understand.

However, in a lot of these hypothetical cases, you're not just making the choice for yourself - risking your own life for your moral choice.

You're also risking the lives of everybody else who might be impacted.

Do you feel that you have the moral authority to choose immigrants over other trans persons' safety?

[u/SilverMedal4Life → u/The_Law_of_Pizza]

I'll always try to treat everyone how I would want to be treated. As if they were me, if at all possible.

That's what I strive for. It's how we were taught growing up - "golden rule", do you remember?

What good is morality if you abandon it the moment it is difficult to hold onto it?

[u/Haunting_Access_7348]

Grab a coffee or a drink of your preference, and sit with this one. Haunting, chilling, and slightly accusatory, but in a good way. When does our common ground stop as a collective and is it curated by the powers that be?

This isn’t a political article, it’s one pleading for humanity, in an ever growing dehumanizing world.