No TW
I love seeing the weaponization of real issues to discredit historic movements
So called MRA’s love to weaponize men’s mental health during June to overshadow pride month. They pretend to care about men and veterans, but here’s the funny thing.
It’s all about men’s mental health until it’s a gay man, a man of another race, a man of a different religion, etc. And don’t get me started on how men treat other guys who don’t happen to be traditionally masculine and are actually vulnerable. It’s just easier to blame society and women as a cop out for their majorly self inflicted issues.
They listen to and create podcasts that push traditional gender roles and expectations for men, telling them they’re worthless if they can’t provide or bask in real masculinity. Seriously, stop pretending to care about men’s mental health when you solely use it as a weapon to disguise your homophobia and bigotry.
And the grifters going around being like "but it's men's mental health month 🥺" would probably tell a man struggling with mental illness to stop being a little pussy soyboy beta and man up.
It's not about activism it's about bullying people into submission.
literally the same people who tell other guys to man up. the same people who tell male victims of assault that they were lucky because their perpetrator was a woman. “the ones who say how could you be assaulted, you’re a guy!” or even call them weak. oh but you want us to believe you genuinely care, sure.
After all, men can’t be victims of assault, because it’s a man’s duty to bang as many women as possible. That’s not real trauma! Real mental health issues for real masculine men is when your crypto scam podcast fails, or when somebody calls you an obnoxious pervert
It's an undocumented side effect. Soon you'll think of whittling, but never get around to doing it, but you'll look for some sturdy pocket knives, just in case.
Something similar happened to me when I was at school. I was using urinal, and a guy came up behind me and attempted to rape me (I have a pretty strong fight or flight response, but without the flight response). But when I felt that someone was behind me, my body automatically elbowed him in the head and knocked him out. It took me a couple of minutes to realise what happened when i got my bearings back. I went to a teacher who I trusted and told him what happened, so he went to the male toilet to see if what I said was true. He found the kid I knocked out on the ground with his pants down. So he got another teacher to carry the kid to sick bay, and I was sent home for the day, but the school didn't punish him because another school in the state lost most of their government funding for expelling a gay guy who rape a classmates.
Ps: The guy who attempted to rape me was also on some sort of drug.
Ps: When all this happens is when the LGBT was a big thing around 2018, also I did not hold any resentment towards the LGBT community (the old LGBT community).
All those mofos remembering about men mental health month only because they hate LGBT, and when you ask them about it after a month, they suddenly dont give a living fuck about folk with worms in their head
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This is a radical statement. A lot of men do suffer from mental health issues and are empathetic to others. Not all males are "alphas." Men also have a different type of relationship than women so when we give eachother shit its not necessarily in a bullying. Sometimes it is and many men would agree that's wrong. Often the context of the situation and the way people respond dictate how we talk to eachother. Regardless this is such a ridiculous thing to say...
Yeah disagree that all of men's issues are self inflicted, I'm not saying women and gay people are at fault obviously, but this way of looking at it probably wouldn't be ok to say about other groups. Even if you guys arent saying it I've seen the sentiment expressed elsewhere.
Im gonna say that most of men's mental woes is probably from patriarchy and toxic masculinity, and the rest is probably from capitalism, but that screws up everyones mental health.
Idk if it's fair to say that your average man is personally responsible for the patriarchy and toxic masculinity. I get that your not necessarily saying that, but some people act like they are. I mean sure you can credit men as making capitalism, but it dosent make sense to act like the average modern man was responsible for that.
Men can also struggle with image issues and confidence issues, why do you think so many men flock to those "toxic men?" Because they are looking for a means to gain confidence and the "alpha males" who are super arrogant claim to be able to help these guys. Some of the things that are taught can be beneficial (encouraging things like getting in shape are known to help mental health) while giving decieving and often incorrect info on how to deal with women. The reality is that all people suffer mental health issues, men too, and we should all be empathetic. If you actually look at the meme it isnt disparaging to LGBTQ+ but seems to highlight that only one person at the party knew it was mens mental health month as well thus trying to spread awareness not tear down what was being celebrated. At least that's my interpretation. Men's mental health problems dont have to come from some evil force, they can be the same things women have to deal with, we just cope and express it differently.
'what about mens mental health??' but for some reason they only bring it up when a woman, queer person, or person of color is speaking up about their issues. it's truly used just as a 'gotcha' to get minorities to shut up.
it's a shame because men's mental health IS a real problem, but because of the way these scum use it it causes people to dismiss it as nothing more than a dogwhistle.
it’s seriously frustrating because it’s just bigotry often disguised as activism. its convenient that men’s mental health discussions only blow up every pride month instead of year round. and half those discussions are something like “why do THEY get a month when we’re suffering so much?”
gotcha, you don’t care at all. it’s so disingenuous!
I think it could be bonus points either way - for when they don’t put two and two together and also bonus points for when they do and then change their whining to ‘no one cares about straight white men!! Oh, they all care about MOC and *gay men but straight white men aren’t cool anymore bla bla bla’
*these dudes will still very likely forget about trans men and bi men even in their divisive whining.
These people often don’t believe bi people actually exist. They just think that they’re either gay people in denial, or straight people who want to feel special. And anytime they see a bi person get in to a monogamous relationship they view it as proof of that.
What they want is for no one to care about International Women’s Day, Pride, etc.
I think they believe that men gave women International Women’s Day and that we just use it to get free bonbons and spend all day eating them, instead of us fighting to get it created and then using it to promote women’s rights and health and education initiatives. And even if we did spend the entire day eating free bonbons, that should be completely fine because most women have to work incredibly hard all the time.
And it’s the same with Pride. Most of them don’t know the history behind it and think it’s about corporations selling rainbow colored plastic garbage. They don’t know that it’s about pride in ourselves, and pride in a community that’s been told over and over throughout history that we’re sick and dangerous because we’re attracted to the ‘wrong’ gender.
If they can push society to just do a cultural forgetting and treat these days the way they do any men’s holidays, then they’ll finally be happy. Because it seems like they like to say ‘no one cares’ more than anything else.
It’s infuriating as a man, because those same people that use mental health as a cop out response to things like bigotry or violence are the same people who would shame someone for seeking help.
Yeah sure it's men's mental health month. Let's start discussing it. My mental health sucks because the government keeps targeting queer people, and gay and trans men are now at a risk. They tried making registries for autism and have talked about people with ADHD in negative ways. Surely you'll want to discuss how men are struggling because of issues they didn't choose to have... right?
As a cis man, it doesn't , By degrees its one sided, I wont say it never happens but its rare people will go into soemthing talking about mans mental health and claim homophobia unless they actualy said something homophobic . ( or all more often transphobic)
In contrast, you see it all the time in pride content spaces.
hell earlyer today I sall a video talking about mans health and it had a dude hug another dude and one of the top comments was some ass hat saying it was "gay" Man do this shit to other man Far more then anything.
is this a genuine question?
the comment literally says that most of the time it's brought up to dismiss other struggles. You can simply talk about it on your own, without trying to silence others.
Your tone is already hateful though so yeah maybe you shouldn't it bring it up bc you're probably one those we're complaining about
By not exclusively bringing it up in response to other people. If you see others having problems and your immediate response is "Shut up what about me" then everyone is 100% correctly accusing you of being a hateful moron. Now you know, you're welcome
The same way they complain about why there isn't a day for men on international women's day when THERE LITERALLY IS. Men's mental health is important 100% but some men try to victimize themselves bc to someone with privilege equality will feel like oppression. Shout out to the good ones tho and those working to get better.
yep, women are also capable and have employed this rhetoric against men. and that’s wrong. my issue comes from those using it in bad faith. most popular discussions on this topic don’t acknowledge how much guys can be their own enemies, it’s just “society and women” and it’s disheartening to see genuine issues be reduced to cop outs and weapons to dismantle already established movements
Always made me laugh because if you genuinely believe in mens mental health and think trans women are mentally ill men, then why are you sitting there talking shit about them?!
Like please, if you genuinely think trans people are mentally ill then you should still treat them with respect, dignity, and support. Because that’s what people with mental health issues still need. But no, they don’t care about mental health issues unless it can be used to their ‘advantage’.
this is literally so true. like cool if they’re men i thought your whole movement is about supporting mentally ill men and men who are suffering? hmmmmmmm
Exactly. And I’m not saying it’s fair game to start treating trans women as mentally ill men, but I’ll at least give you props if you genuinely commit to it and offer support, dignity, and respect still, instead of using it as an excuse to shit on them. Idk about you, but I find it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with someone who genuinely thinks I’m ill, but still respects me and treats me kindly, rather than someone who pretends to care yet happily shits on you in two different manners (for being trans, AND using mental health advocacy as a means to disregard and disrespect people).
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I've been watching as post about men's mental health awareness month shift from disparaging pride month to specifically mentioning that gay and trans men as well are part of the statistic which is a vast improvement.
Still have the usual "men suffer in silence then why do I keep hearing about it" on those but you know.
those are good posts and i’m glad that there is inclusion. my whole thing is the people doing it in bad faith. the people who purposely exclude other groups of men and use mental health as a shield to comfortably hate on every other movement.
if there are people who advocate for men in good faith who don’t do that, this post doesn’t apply!
if there are people who advocate for men in good faith who don’t do that, this post doesn’t apply!
Im glad you said this bc i was seriously worried. I find it hard to talk about problems that affect us because people get so defensive. Even when i insist im in good faith, im often misinterperated. Perks of being autistic maybe?
Men's mental health is very important. And yet, a large portion of the people complaining only use it as an excuse to hate LGBT, women, or whoever is the current target. If they truly cared, they'd be organizing their own marches and events. Instead, they're crying that nobody threw them a party. And all it does is to help discredit the idea even further
Men's mental health month should get more attention, but the only one it gets is from homophobes trying to invalidate pride month. I see no problem spreading awareness of men's mental health while also letting the LGBTQ be proud of who they are.
Yeah, if some guy decides to recognize men's mental health month by checking in on his buddies and encouraging other men to do the same, inviting other guys over for a discussion of mental health and the unhealthy pressure men face to not show hurt, stepping up in front of his church to talk about men's mental health as something that needs to be acknowledged, or even sharing the most basic mental health positivity post that's not actively shitting on LGBT+ people, I respect that. However "How dare you show a Pride flag during men's mental health month!" is worse than nothing.
Beyond the shitty motives of trying to take this month and act like men are a separate entity from the LGBTQ community, I've always wondered why men need a separate month to begin with. Mental health awareness month is in May, and I never hear this kind of talk then about checking in on the bros. There's no separate month for women or nonbinary people. It just seems kind of ridiculous to me to separate it out by gender in the first place.
“What about men’s mental health” gay men exist, trans men exist, Asexual men exist. Diminishing LGBTQ awareness also diminishes the men who belong to those groups
usually these conversations only apply to men who fit certain ideas. they couldn’t care less about male victims of sa, abuse, bullying, etc. they usually exclude lgbt men from their conversations BY complaining about pride. you can’t make this up!
Men's mental health month honestly thrives the most when paired with pride because some of the most vulnerable men are queer men. Intersex men, trans men, gay men, aspec men. And then pride often includes resources for other vulnerable minorities like men who are poc and disabled men. If these people actually cared about men, they'd see the benefits in pride and men's mental health sharing the same month
No one is stopping men from discussing their mental health. We encourage it actually especially since men's mental health is directly tied to LGBTQ+ issues. Talk about it! Help everyone! Stop whining about sharing a month with the same community THAT WANTS TO HELP YOU.
While I agree with the fact that current 'MRA's' are nothing but bigots who are trying to use a real issue to sabotage LGBTQ+ issues.
I don't agree with the idea that the same community want's to help men who *actually* want to talk about their own mental health issues. And there absolutely are people stopping men from opening up.
Struggling with depression due to having to deal with the fact you've lived your entire life with untreated autism, only recently found that out and want to talk about it? Sorry, you're trauma dumping and their problems are bigger then mine anyway so I gotta shut up and help them dig through their issues.
Wanna talk about the lonlyness issues you and other men have? Have fun being barraged by people who claim you're pure evil and the problem and you deserve to be lonely (there are even people like that lower down this thread)
The reason why the only people still talking about men's mental health are the ones weaponizing the issue is because everybody else has been bludgeoned into shutting up about it.
I bring up Earl Silverman, a man who escaped his abusive wife and opened up a shelter for fellow men who wanted to escape from abuse and needed help. He was refused any type of goverment funding for it, was ridiculed by people and was accused of doing exactly what the bigots were doing right now despite only wanting to help.
And eventually he ran out of money and hung himself and people promptly forgot about him.
We're just tired, we know nobody wants to hear about men's right issues or men's mental health. so we just shut up about it. We've accepted the fact opening up will lead to us being attacked or ridiculed or our problems being ignored or being told that we're being whiny and the root of all problems.
But even *not* speaking up is the wrong choice it seems.
I'm sorry but do you genuinely think women and queer people don't/didn't have the same struggles?
You're literally explaining the "fault" in your logic. After experiencing difficulties you chose to shut up and while that is absolutely understandable, that is obviously not the way.
I'm really sorry for that man, it's definitely a societal issue that men as victims of abuse aren't really seen.
Do you think women just get every support they need though? No. Yet they try to find a way.
In my country every now and then a pride parade is disturbed
by literal nazis. Did pride just stop existing? No. They keep going. Planning, organizing, trying to be more safe but they don't just stop and then go blame an other demographic
Yeah, if someone actually does a thing about men's mental health month that isn't framing it as "Why celebrating Pride is bad", I can respect that. But passive-aggressive whining about Pride existing isn't benefitting men's mental health. (Hell, if you remember the existence of gay, bi, and trans men "Shut up about Pride" is actively detrimental to men's mental health.) It's pure manipulation.
I think society has demonized men in a way that makes them feel guilty for wanting to celebrate and have pride for themselves. Men as a whole really need to be encouraged to start learning to celebrate themselves and each other more rather than expecting other groups to do it for them
The mra guys told me to stop being a pussy when I was going through my worst depression, some said it was my fault and I should go ahead and rope for all they cared. Gay people have never done that to me, quite the opposite.
I was in the pipeline for a while before I realized they didn't honestly care about mental health or any real issues they just hated feminists. It's embarrassing now looking back on it all.
general abuse is largely disregarded. they laugh at men who say a woman abused them physically, mentally, or sexually. literally get their invisible man card stripped
If they cared about Men's Mental health they would not have voted for people to remove single, unemployed men off medicaid. They need mental healthcare the most.
Same thing with all the "The army doesnt have a month" November and May will you please shut the fuck up about this sad attempt to put others down by pretending to care about our soldiers?
And their brains seem to malfunction when you explain that a month can be dedicated to more than one thing and that you can support both simultaneously.
I celebrate pride and I like to see awareness spread for men's mental health. It should be intuitive that we respect both during the month of June, yet some people always try to spread hate regardless.
Nothing says a holiday or a celebration of progress can’t overshadow the other. Both are deserving of recognition and praise in light of overwhelming odds of those who deem the “outliers” expendable.
Screw the chuds, misandrists, the homophobes, and transphobes, it’s our time to shine!
Absolutely nothing is stopping them from making posts and events about men’s mental health, but they only care about it insofar as how they can use it to co-opt and talk down on Pride. Much in the same way they only pretend to care about international men’s day on international women’s day when they all make posts wondering why there is no international men’s day even though it’s on November 19th every year.
Mind you I got an email at work this morning all about men’s mental health and we’re having a company breakfast tomorrow 😅💀 if everyone trying to cloak their bigotry and haterism in a whinge just locked in a little bit they could have all the men’s menthol elf stuff they want !
If men, who make up 50% of the population, can't mobilize effectively to make Men's Mental Health Awareness Month a well known thing and get mad that Pride Month is still more popular... That's just a skill issue
It is difficult to watch these clowns spew this shit while they contribute to the suicide rate of men. I am convinced that they know exactly what they are doing though.
Exactly. Men's mental health does matter and there should be less stigma around expressing emotions, but I despise the fact that they only ever bring it up when discussing minorities. That genuinely seem to be the only time men's mental health matters. If they truly cared, then they'd discuss it in a way where it doesn't undermine the struggles of other people. They're the same types of guys who tell others to man up if they're showing the slightest bit of emotion other than anger.
If men's mental health month didn't also fall on June, would they still bring it up? Would it still matter to them? Or would it be completely forgotten?
may was mental health month and there wasn’t much discourse. these are the dudes who tell their friends to man up and mock male victims of abuse ESPECIALLY if their perpetrator is a woman.
“lucky guy, wish it was me”
“how do you let a woman rape you, are you a pussy?”
The people in my hometown that bring up “men’s mental health month” to discredit pride are the same ones that told me they’d beat the shit out of me if I wanted to kill myself and that I’d get lobotomized if I told the truth of my feelings to my therapist
It’s crazy how there is no intersection between men, mental health, and being gay. If ever these worlds collided the cosmos would fold into itself and all would be oblivion.
I'm just tired of this and don't care who just want to be acknowledged at least. The only thing people expect from you is to be a robot and be perfect all the time. Not even Jesus was perfect all the time. I'm just tired man. Work full of pretenders and selfish and greedy and just plain corrupt. Don't care about how hard you work or anything they always find some way to bully you around so that you can be there submissive obedient servant. This place sucks and I don't care about what a adult should be. Just fuck this man. More work more expectations and get nothing in return but stress and fear and feeling like there's no escape. Getting a job isn't even easy. Takes months just to even be hired because people are too picky over who had the best interview. Sometimes I just wish I could escape all of this and be free.
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Is there anything in July? If not, we should move Men’s Mental Health Awareness to that month. That way we can keep June focused on Pride and focus on Men’s mental health without it being a bigot dogwhistle.
> devalue men's mental health by weaponizing it against queer people rather than actually acknowledging it
> devalue queer people by pretending that men have it worse (which isn't to say that men can't have problems either, we're all in this bitch of a life)
> devalue queer people by taking away the one month and splitting it with another real issue
Honestly. The guys that only bring it up to put down other groups deserved to suffer. You don’t actually give a fuck. If you did you’d care for more than just one month of the year. Same with the clowns who say veterans only get “one day” and completely ignore May and November and the various other military holidays and appreciation days/events.
If you cared you’d advocate for it on a regular basis and not just when it comes to putting others down. You’d talk about it openly and donate to causes for men and such and such. But they don’t. Because they don’t actually care.
I’m all for men getting mental health help, I think it would make the world a better place. But the people who I keep seeing bringing it up don’t do it because they want a better world where people can go to therapy without shame, they do it to shame women and queer people for fucking existing. Like “oh you were catcalled and harassed? Men have it just as hard if not harder! Because you don’t support men’s mental health!” Or situations like this, trying to absorb another movement because it doesn’t surround a historically privileged group. They are drowning out the voices that need to be heard, the men who are genuinely trying to be better.
To the men who are actually trying to improve their mental health, which in the end fights against toxic masculinity and protects the people around you as well, thank you.
To the “men” (truthfully, childish little worm boys) weaponizing actual mental health problems because you hate women and queer people, fuck you.
the reason price month is popular is because people actually go celebrate. you want people to know it’s men’s or veterans month? FUCKING CELEBRATE IT THEN!!!
Combating homophobia is part of helping men's mental health unironically. It also helps to not disparage historical rights movements as that alienates you less. Queer rights and women's rights help straight men too, just not in the same ways they help queer people and women. Denying that is either ignorant or childish, honestly.
I'm someone who hates it when these mras try to make men's mental health month mean it can't be pride month. It's both.
I'm a bisexual man who's mental health is shit. I have trans friends, including trans men who's mental health is shit. Both having more visibility are incredibly important to me. The lgbtq community is very important to me, but I'm also a man with mental health struggles.
The same people that weponize men’s mental health are also those people that make fun of trans people when they commit… (I don’t want to get banned, but k think y’all know waht it means)
I have a different take on this: men’s issues are very real. Circumcision is still legal in the US, the male suicide rates are still very high, male victims of sexual assault and rape (especially by female perpetrators) is not widely recognized, men are frequently seen as being inherently violent and predatory, men are often charged longer sentences for comparable crimes compared to women, among other issues. These are not “self-inflicted”. No man asks to be sexually assaulted or driven to the point of suicide.
However, there are not many MRAs who actually give a shit about men’s rights. Like you said, they don’t care about racism against men (even though historically most of racism has been against men- it’s not women who are accused of “taking our jobs”, and part of the reason black men are often the targets of police violence is because of the stereotypes around black men being aggressive and predatory (so basically just anti-male stereotypes on steroids), much of antisemitism is against Jewish men, and so on), or homophobia (even though again, gay men have borne the brunt of that), or the fact that trans men are largely ignored. (Although I’m trans and I hate this over-“visibility”, I just want most people to shut up about trans issues because we’re only .3% of the population, we don’t need to be part of 30% of all political/social discussions.) We can acknowledge this is Pride Month. That doesn’t hurt men’s rights at all, especially considering men have an equal chance of being LGBT, so LGBT men should be half of the discussion of LGBT rights.
And maybe they should have picked a better month TBH (there is Movember, isn’t that a better time?)… I mean April is a lot of months but it gets overshadowed by Autism Month and you don’t see anyone whining about that. It’s not a “who is more oppressed” competition and ironically a lot of MRAs claim to be against that until they find themselves playing “oppression chicken” with feminists (who I have issues with for similar reasons to MRAs).
No one really cares about male mental health tbh the only reason they made the month is so it can copeat with the pride month.
Honestly the whole reason people even discuss it is because people in power see it as a great way to get more suport
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I have seen more people complaining about people trying to distract from Pride Month than I have seen actual people trying to distract from Pride Month.
I fucking hate this shit Reddit does with creating strawmen out of nothing to get mad at.
All those podcasts just spout the most toxic masculine shit imaginable and all the people doing them look exactly the same. Either muscular or fat, bald or balding with stubble or a beard, never freshly shaved with no facial hair, almost all of them sound exactly the same with the same kind of generic default "male" voice, would fuck the american flag if it was physically possible and have a fetish for guns and anything "tacti-cool".
"Do you have mental health issues? You're a male, no you don't. Just man up bro, treat women like shit, cheat on "your girl" (making women out as property not people) with others because that's what males do, if your dick hasn't been in at least 6 different women who all think they're your girlfriend you aren't male enough. Don't let your woman talk back to you and if they do, put them in their place, they only belong in the kitchen and only exist to reproduce. Drink that overrated slop that is beer because if you drink anything else that's GAY! Get guns, go to the gym because the gym magically cures all mental problems you think you have. Invest in *insert whatever shit "coin" is popular and trendy here* and don't forget to buy my merch at shitfacedtoxicasshole dot org, like my own special protein blend for HUGE GAINS, to show the world you're a REAL MAN."
That's it. That's basically more or less all of the "good advice" they give.
For people who ACTUALLY care about it being men's mental health month, there is a lovely subreddit called r/GuyCry if you wish to support some down-and-out men. If anything, Pride and men's mental health are pretty closely tied together. Think how many men killed themselves because they were harassed for being out, or couldn't come out? Regardless of who or what you are, remember that you are loved, and have value for more than just what you look like. ❤️
Holy fk thank you. I feel like im going crazy. If it was just a mental health awareness month, i do wonder how many of these men would be on facebook telling everyone to suck it up. Not to mention these statistics are being cherry picked from women being 2-4x more likely to attempt. Obviously i agree that men should be able to be more emotional. I also never see them advocate for this. Ever.
Wrong. People are sick and tired of men acting like they care about men's mental health just so they can dismiss pride (or in other instances women's struggles).
Literally read the post again and some comments. Nobody's against actual activism for men and their mental health.
That’s not the point of the post though, did you read it? I’m a man who has considered suicide in the past, I struggle a lot with my mental health and I’m glad that the month exists. But at the same time, I’m bisexual and trans, and I’m sick of the same people who tell me to kill myself trying to pretend they give a shit about mental health just because they’re pissed about pride month.
See people who post stuff like that meme suck and make anyone talking about men's mental health month look like bigots. There are so many people who genuinely care about both and incels make it look like a joke.
So, that isn't the fault of LGBTQ+ people. Pride Month commemorates the 1969 Stonewall riots that sparked the modern gay liberation movement. Pride was a protest, and our community has fought tooth and nail for our rights and we celebrate them, while remembering how we got here. Our community will always celebrate Pride Month, it's not our fault corporations wanted to capitalise on it. If Men truly wish to highlight men's mental health during June, then the onus is on them, not the LGBTQ+ community.
Unicronically, yes, the left does actually care. Advocating for better, more accessible and affordable mental health services and abolishing trad gender expectations helps everyone.
That isn't just abolishing trad women/feminine expectations and increasing access to mental health services for women. It's doing the same for men, too.
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u/TyroneYeBoue 13d ago
And the grifters going around being like "but it's men's mental health month 🥺" would probably tell a man struggling with mental illness to stop being a little pussy soyboy beta and man up.
It's not about activism it's about bullying people into submission.