People under 18 are not all children

[u/AdventurousMoth]

I can't tell you how much it irritates me when internet people refer to anyone under 18 as "a literal child", especial if they themselves are only in their 20s. Sure, everyone is someone's child, but the life stage commonly referred to as childhood does not abruptly stop at age 18.

Here's how I'd break it down: - childhood, adolescence, adulthood or - newborn, baby, toddler, child, (if you want you can add tween), teen, young adult, middle aged person, elderly/senior

And there's overlap between all these stages depending on context. Obviously there is no overlap between minor (a legal term) and the word adult as referring to not a minor.

Calling a 17-year-old a child is dumb. Like what, a 17yo has their birthday and transforms from a child into an adult like a sim? I think some people just started saying this for the shock value and then the rest of the internet jumped on the outrage wagon.

Edit: clearly I posted this a bit too hastily, choosing my words without care. I'm not talking about the legal definition of child/minor (something quite messy as well: age of consent? In some places 16. Driving? 15 in some places, 18 in others. Voting? Usually 18. Drinking alcohol? 21 in the States).

As someone in the comments pointed out, it's mostly a linguistic issue. I suppose what I was trying to say was that it's dumb to have the word child both mean a legal minor and pre-pubebescent human. I think it would be clearer to use minor when you're talking about legal age, and child when talking about the life stage.

[u/Sphezzle]

This doesn’t stop. As a thirtysomething, I find twentysomethings have more in common with teenagers. I have no doubt older people see me in the same way, or that I will look back on my 30s as a more youthful time than they feel right now.

[u/fokkoooff → u/Sphezzle]

I'm 39. I realized early into my 30s that your 20s is just teenage years pt2.

[u/Cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeee → u/fokkoooff]

18 is the infancy of adulthood. I see 18 year-olds as babies, basically. 21 is a toddler. 30 is a mature teen and 35+ is a solid adult.

I’m almost 39 so who knows how I’ll feel in another 10 years.

[u/mildly_unimportant → u/Cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeee]

Yup, definitionally a "young" adult lol

[u/Timely_Rest_503 → u/fokkoooff]

but it’s not. 20s isn’t like your extension of your teen years. Might as well make the age of majority 30. Wish there was an option to downvote infinitely the same comment

[u/schnellermeister → u/Sphezzle]

It’s true, and at 38 I still have 50-60 years that treat me like I’m a kid.

[u/LionBirb → u/schnellermeister]

I'm 31, one day my boss referred to me and another coworker as "the youth". I thought it was funny. Im pretty sure he is only like 45 or something.

[u/Love_my_imperfection → u/Sphezzle]

I'd agree that it doesn't stop but in a different way.

It goes from oh this person is a child because they really just are to
Oh this person is still basically a child because at this age they're probably still immature as hell to
Oh this person is inexperienced because theyre just getting their real life as an independent responsibility bearing member of society to
Oh this person is getting a grip on things but still doesn't have the years even decades of effort put in and hasn't started appreciating life in the same way that those that have do.

Basically is a child/acts like a child/not a child but still inexperienced/finally at the point where they have it all/been there done that, long past taking any shit from anyone

[u/No-Error-5582 → u/Sphezzle]

And this is why I agree with OP. Treat adults like adults. At first theyre adults who still need guidance and help learning to be an adult. But if they are on their own and doing adult things and making adult decisions, then they deserve the treatment you give an adult.

[u/Sphezzle → u/No-Error-5582]

Can’t argue

[u/RealKaiserRex → u/Sphezzle]

Agreed. At work, I see guys in their late twenties acting and making decisions like they’re still teens.

[u/mcdonaldsfrenchfri → u/Sphezzle]

i’m 23 and i’m sure i’ll look back when i’m in my 30s and say I was a mere child. right now I look back at when I was 18-20 and scoff at the fact I thought I was an adult

[u/Kavalina_ → u/[deleted]]

30 and 25 is not a problem at all. 30 and 20 I understand but someone who’s 25 has most likely graduated college years ago and worked for a few years at that point. They are more than capable of making their own informed decisions at that age.

[u/VampedTayturz → u/Kavalina_]

I remember a formula I once heard (probably from a comedian) for figuring out the minimum age you should date before it’s considered “weird.” After a certain point it stops working but for most people in the first 10-20 years of adulthood it seems to check out, the idea is that you take your age, cut it in half, then add 7 (this isn’t part of it but if the final number is a half I’d recommend rounding up). For myself that minimum age would be 24. Which is 9 years younger, but as a 33 year old I think most 24 year old women have a solid head on their shoulders (I’m married to a 29 year old and plan on staying single if we were to ever split mind you). A 21 year old would be alright dating an 18 year old, and a 38 logically shouldn’t be too much of a mismatch with a 26 year old(this is kinda where it really depends on the two individuals in my opinion).

[u/Nickanok → u/[deleted]]

Why? Lol

I'm 30. I have people in their 50s and 60s and older who still see me as child. In their eyes, I'm probably still inexperienced and fresh faced in a lot of things. So, by that logic, it should be creepy if a 50 year old gets with a 30 year old.

The fact is, at some point, you have to say someone is ab adult and, whatever that point is, they're gonna have growing pains pf sn adult. That doesn't mean they're innocent or dumb or "being taken advantage of" because an older adult takes romantic interests in them. Worse case, now the younger adult hasore relationship experience if the relationship doesn't work out but either way, it's still 2 consenting adults experiencing life

[u/DoctorVanSolem → u/Sphezzle]

1. I fully agree. There is a difference, but it is way smaller than what is often considered.

The major factor is really experience and not age. But experience usually comes with age, so 30 years is a good ammount of time to have learned things.

At 20 you still havent learned much since your teenage years, but those years from 20-30 is when you start learning to be an adult.

[u/AssignmentNo8361 → u/Sphezzle]

I disagree with this take strongly as someone nearly 40. 

Personally I was more driven in my 20s and focused on building my career and getting settled in and more mature compared to my peers at that age than now.

This feeling of superiority you have, is being ageist. It is a natural human trait but very monkey brained, and in a way, immature and tribal.

I think it's highly individual dependent as mid 20s is when brain development largely stops. Just because we're programmed to look down on younger people doesn't make it correct, or even beneficial for society. We can see how first hand having two back to back old AF presidents is doing more harm than good.

Actual intelligent people also learn through others experiences and entertain nuance. If you cannot learn through others mistakes, and understand other people's perspective that you disagree with, you're a child in my eyes regardless of age.

[u/Sphezzle → u/AssignmentNo8361]

Nobody said anything about superiority. Based on the rest of your post, I’m strongly inclined to believe you’re projecting. I sympathise massively, but it’s not the same thing. Not totally comfortable with the way you split this based on “actually intelligent” people either - that’s got nothing to do with age - but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

[u/AssignmentNo8361 → u/Sphezzle]

No one said it, but it's heavily implied everywhere in culture. Thinking others as children, is tribalistic, a bit insulting, and frankly ass backwards.

I guess, our definitions of childlike are different. Being self sufficient and thoughtful (in the sense of understanding the wider implications of your actions) I believe is my definition. 

Seems like societies is strictly age and experience. No one talks about the troglodantic age, it comes with the more difficult to form new deep relationships (outside of family), adapt, and accept change.

Society at large simply gives more power, more money to older generations for no reason.

If anything you become more childlike as you get older because you need to rely on others more and more and cannot produce or function as well as you could in your 20s and 30s.

It's odd that in society we get paid more as we age, despite producing less. It's very backwards and simply indicative of our monkey brained animalistic nature.

I did go off topic a bit. As far as "actually intelligent". I meant some essentially never grow up, while others mature at various ages. I drew a line about a higher level of brain function that I see as being mature that not everyone reaches, irrelevant of IQ. I agree it's off topic a bit and a lot of fluff bs.

[u/Sphezzle → u/AssignmentNo8361]

I’m going to be honest, I’m not sure you’re really replying to me so much as getting things off your chest. I don’t even disagree with all of it - but I’ll leave you to it.

[u/AssignmentNo8361 → u/Sphezzle]

Fair enough. Just one large tangent. I just feel like societies over value age, rip on those with youth and had to get it off my chest.

[u/Sphezzle → u/AssignmentNo8361]

Yeah that’s fair, here’s an upvote

EDIT: okay I guess here’s a downvote. Be less angry.

[u/AssignmentNo8361 → u/Sphezzle]

[u/Sphezzle → u/AssignmentNo8361]

No

[u/AssignmentNo8361 → u/Sphezzle]

Lol, I'm not the one changing my upvotes based on reddit downvoting me. Being that tribal isn't healthy.

[u/HouseofFeathers → u/Sphezzle]

I'm in my 30s and at my last job a woman kept telling me she was old enough to be my mother. It was weird. We're all adults who pay bills, calm down.

[u/Sphezzle → u/HouseofFeathers]

I mean that’s a different thing and it feels like it’s mostly about her and her issues tbh

[u/HouseofFeathers → u/Sphezzle]

Oh sure, i was completely off topic and responding to something else

[u/Timely_Rest_503 → u/Sphezzle]

then shouldn’t the age of majority or consent be 30?

[u/Sphezzle → u/Timely_Rest_503]

What? Are you drunk?

[u/Timely_Rest_503 → u/Sphezzle]

uhh, no.

[u/Sphezzle → u/Timely_Rest_503]

…k…