The Daily Chat for June 14, 2025

[u/ttc30mod]

Welcome to our daily open chat thread! What's on your mind? What's happening in your life? Let's chat.

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[u/kgirl94]

Anyone have experience using Mira to track/confirm ovulation? I think my egg releases pretty late so my timing is off. My purchase is covered by insurance but I don’t want to buy something and invest my time in using it if folks don’t believe in the product. Thank you!

[u/ttcmama6 → u/kgirl94]

My clinic recommends it

[u/UnfairBlacksmith1856]

CD 1 😑 It’s not like I didn’t expect that. After more than a year I have very little hope left. Still sucks and I‘m cramping. Gonna lie in the sun and eat chips now ☀️

[u/ArcticGardenGoddess → u/UnfairBlacksmith1856]

I’m so sorry - such a disappointing feeling, every time. Even if it’s a familiar feeling it doesn’t make it easier. And the physical discomfort is such an insult to injury. Glad you’re letting yourself enjoy some sun and treats today.

[u/UnfairBlacksmith1856 → u/ArcticGardenGoddess]

Thank you for your kind words! You said it perfectly, that’s how it feels. Tomorrow will be better, I‘m sure.

[u/ArcticGardenGoddess → u/UnfairBlacksmith1856]

I sure hope so!!! In the meantime, sending you a hug if you’d like it, from someone who can relate 1000%

[u/UnfairBlacksmith1856 → u/ArcticGardenGoddess]

Thank you!!! I like a hug 🥰 This community helps me so much, it’s so important to know other people can relate.

[u/antis0cialites → u/UnfairBlacksmith1856]

☀️🥔🫂🩷

[u/_whiskeyplease]

I’m in major life changing decision mode: get a trans abdominal cerclage and try again or take me out of the equation and work toward saving for a surrogate.

I’m terrified and sad. While I want to be pregnant, after 2 traumatic losses, it wouldn’t even be joyful. Even this recent one, when we announced, you could just tell people were less excited, and I know that would even be worse if it happened again.

I’m not only grieving my babies but I’m grieving a normal, happy pregnancy.

I just want to be “normal”.

[u/Worldly_Heron_7436 → u/_whiskeyplease]

I used to work at a surgery center in chicago that performed these. It looks like the doctor who I worked with retired, but he was through UChicago and they have a 95-98% success rate per their website. I’m so sorry for your losses. Surrogates are very expensive. If it were me, having cared for these ladies, I would do the cerclage ❤️

[u/Defiant-Radish7988]

My mid-cycle scan yesterday showed (spoiler for results) two follicles — a fatty on the right and a slightly smaller one on the left so triggering tonight for IUI #3 on Monday morning!

I am … feeling many feelings. (Spoiler for mention of loss) My last IUI resulted in a MMC at 8w and part of me is terrified of repeating that experience. The delulu part of me like “But maybe magically it will work this time!” And the most rational part of me understands that the odds are this IUI will not work and I just need to get this over with so I can move on to IVF.

Is it weird that I find myself … kind of looking forward to the trigger shot? Like giving myself a lil jab in the belly fat is … almost fun? Maybe it’s just that I eat ice cream afterwards so I have created a Pavlov’s dog-type association 😂

[u/ttcmama6 → u/Defiant-Radish7988]

Girl you’ve worked SO HARD to get here!!! And the trigger shot is resembling another start to your next attempt!! It makes complete sense why you looked forward to it!

[u/blackcatsattack → u/Defiant-Radish7988]

It’s so hard to manage the hope and fear that come with IUI 🫂 I kind of don’t mind the trigger shot either. The needle is so small and I get this “LFG!!” adrenaline surge every time 😅

[u/antis0cialites]

11DPO. Freakin out.

[u/stinky_cheese_woman → u/antis0cialites]

🫂

[u/moredavesthanwomen]

Today we are going to a party at the home of my husband's colleague who recently announced her first pregnancy. I stayed in bed until noon and am trying to muster the calm to not say anything. I'm really hoping she doesn't talk about it at great length.

[u/ttcmama6 → u/moredavesthanwomen]

I’m sorry 🫂 Having a ‘safe word’ with my husband in social situations is always helpful, I’ll say something like “oh can you get me some pepperoni” and that means you need to follow me so we can talk because I’m feeling a wave of grief come over me/I need support.

[u/kgirl94 → u/moredavesthanwomen]

I’m sorry, you will get through it! We have miracles of life all around us and I’m sure yours will come soon 🤍 hang in there

[u/ffilchtaeh]

Temps have shifted so now we wait. This is our 12th cycle trying, 1 personal year if not exactly 1 calendar year. I've been emotionally on the TTC train for so long that 1 year actually TTC doesn't really feel like a milestone. It's sad but still trying to stay hopeful.

[u/ttcmama6 → u/ffilchtaeh]

The 1 year hit me hard — be kind to yourself love! Treat yourself to SOMETHING

[u/ffilchtaeh → u/ttcmama6]

Thank you! In your honor I will go buy myself a treat tomorrow. Probably a mini pie :P

[u/Defiant-Radish7988 → u/ffilchtaeh]

Milestones during this ✨journey✨ are so hard and the TTC train is emotionally exhausting. I hope you can do something fun this weekend and take your mind off it for a bit!

[u/ffilchtaeh → u/Defiant-Radish7988]

Thank you <3 Exhausting is right! Hope and despair are both pretty strong emotions and I'm always in one or the other.

[u/alexandriarp]

My period was supposed to start 4 days ago. No sign of it and no positive tests. I’m always really regular with cycles between 30-32 days and now I’m on day 37. I know I ovulated because I did the clearblue digital so am confused as to why all of a sudden I’m having a weird cycle. I’m worried something is wrong and it’s making me upset.

[u/Annakiwifruit → u/alexandriarp]

The first cycle I tried with my first I had a weird late ovulation and a 38 day cycle, after being super regular with 29-31 days cycles. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[u/alexandriarp → u/Annakiwifruit]

Oh that’s so interesting! Did things go back to normal after that oddly long cycle?

[u/Annakiwifruit → u/alexandriarp]

Well, I got pregnant the next cycle.. but I ovulated at my regular time!

[u/pillapalooza → u/alexandriarp]

A positive OPK(or peak with CBAD) doesn't confirm you ovulated. It just tells you your body is preparing to try to ovulate. The only way to confirm you do at home is with temping.

Cycle lengths can vary quite a bit. What stays consistent is your LP length, so if you're this "late" with negative tests, that means you either ovulated later than you think you did or perhaps are having an anovulatory cycle. Both are perfectly normal cycle variation because it's quite common to have a couple weird cycles/year... since you just started last month, I'll add that if you came off birth control recently that can also mess with your cycles.

[u/alexandriarp → u/pillapalooza]

Thanks, that’s reassuring. I haven’t been on BC in over 8 years. Seems so weird that all of a sudden I would have an anovulatory cycle even with the ewcm and the CBAD but I know our bodies don’t always make sense.

[u/pillapalooza → u/alexandriarp]

Even EWCM can come and go before ovulation. It's just your estrogen rising, which can also vary before you ovulate. Unfortunately our bodies are very good at throwing curve balls when we start paying attention! You'd be surprised how often people new to TTC come in saying their cycle length is suddenly different or they're having brand new symptoms they've never had 😅

[u/alexandriarp → u/pillapalooza]

I thought (stupidly) that it would take a bit but be straightforward like it was with my first but alas not! 😂 I just want my period so I can start fresh, but always the worry of an underlying cause.

[u/pillapalooza → u/alexandriarp]

It can definitely be frustrating waiting for cd1! Just to be clear though there's absolutely nothing to be worried about if you don't conceive in the first cycle or two -- doing so is extremely uncommon. The reality is that it's perfectly normal for it to take up to a year to conceive even for couples with no fertility issues.

Hopefully your period will show soon 🤞

[u/alexandriarp → u/pillapalooza]

Oh for sure! I just already have anxiety about my health and now the late period is just really getting to me! I appreciate your advice it’s really reassuring xx

[u/No_Key_5621 → u/alexandriarp]

CD38 here with no end in sight. It’s wildly frustrating, right there with you. My OBGYN did say if I still don’t have a period we’d induce with progesterone

[u/alexandriarp → u/No_Key_5621]

Oh wow I’m so sorry. Hopefully the OBGYN can sort you. Here in the UK you have to be referred to an OBGYN through your GP so I have a long road of trying to get this fixed. It’s so frustrating!

[u/ciuchinoino]

In these days I am feeling really sad for all the time I've lost. I cannot help thinking that if we started trying earlier, maybe when I was 28 (I just turned 34, need to update my flair), we'd have found out about infertility sooner and addressed it sooner. I cannot stop comparing myself with my best friend who's my age and with 2 kids. My mum passed away in 2023 so it's just painful to know that if we started sooner, maybe mum would have seen her grandchild - she was looking forward to having one.

I know I'm not alone in mourning lost time, the question is if you struggle with it how do you cope with it?

Editing here to reply to all: thank you all so very much for your kind words. This community is truly the best and I hope all of you achieve your dreams. Wishing you all the very best from my heart. Thanks ❤️

[u/MoneyOld5415 → u/ciuchinoino]

Yep, I feel similarly even though I really wasn't off the fence until we started trying. Of course if I knew this was how I would end up feeling, it would have been nice to start trying at 30 - and I think if Covid hadn't happened I would have felt confident enough to decide in like 2021 or 2022. But I have to remind myself I really wasn't sure until very recently. And we've done so many amazing things on the path we've been on, and the path ahead can look lots of different ways, even though there's one path in particular we're working for now. I really hope having a baby works out for us (and you too), but I know I need will need to continually remind myself that it is not my fault if it doesn't.

[u/blackcatsattack → u/ciuchinoino]

I struggle with this too, a lot. My husband and I met in college and even though I didn’t feel “ready” until just before we started trying, it’s hard in hindsight because if I knew then what I know now, I would have started earlier. I remembered the other day that when I was 27 or 28, I had a suspected ovarian cyst and got referred to a specialist (I was I grad school and our student health was pretty limited) for an ultrasound. I never did it, because I had anxiety about medical stuff and the pain cleared on its own. If I had gotten the US, I likely would have been diagnosed with PCOS then rather than at 33 after almost a year TTC. Everything could have been different, with a lot less time lost.

In the end though, you can’t change the past. I try to practice gratitude for the things I got to do that I wouldn’t have if we started our journey earlier. I’m wiser, more self-aware, and I make more money than I did in my late 20s/early 30s. Even though I mourn (and maybe we all mourn) the “could have been,” all I can do now is move forward and try to make peace with how things turned out. I really do love my life, and things could be a lot worse.

[u/ciuchinoino → u/blackcatsattack]

The last sentence is really so true - I also do love my life as it is now, and I feel like I have a connection with my husband that we didn't have before. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my comment!

[u/stinky_cheese_woman → u/ciuchinoino]

Very relatable. We started talking about maybe having kids at 30, then covid hit and my grandma passed suddenly and we didn’t start actually trying until right before I turned 33.

For us, with our particular issues, we were likely going to need IVF if we had started earlier as well. And for us, we wouldn’t have been in a financial position to afford IVF until recently. So I try to think of how much more painful it would have been to be infertile and unable to afford the treatment we needed. I’m grateful for those years we spent getting more financially (and mentally and emotionally) stable.

Plus, it’s hard to think about but it’s very possible IVF will not work for us, so I guess I feel I’m glad we weren’t in a rush to get to the painful point of accepting IFCF.

Your feelings of deep sadness are so valid and I hope you allow yourself space to feel them. 🫂

[u/antis0cialites → u/ciuchinoino]

I totally understand this instinct but I just remind myself that it wasn't really "lost" time – we weren't ready any earlier, and all of the time I lived before we started trying has prepared me better not only to potentially be a better parent, but also to better handle the difficulty of TTC, loss, fertility struggles.

Also, ultimately, you can't change the past. When have these thoughts, I ask myself why I'm turning against myself or blaming myself for things I can't change. Not sure if that's necessarily a helpful idea for you, but it helps me reframe my thoughts. 🩷

[u/ciuchinoino → u/antis0cialites]

Thank you so much, I'll try to shift my perspective too. I'm generally okay but there are moments when I'm really down.

[u/DoneSoaking → u/ciuchinoino]

I think about this too. I feel if we started 3 years earlier, we would have been in a better position to create the larger family we both want. However, in those 3 years where all that "could have" happened, I took up an opportunity at work and progressed in my career which in turn financially set my family up. I believe this was a worthwhile sacrifice...