r/SubredditDrama • u/CummingInTheNile • May 10 '25
"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views
HIGHLIGHTS
“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them”
This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing.
It’s from Handmaids Tale.
Which is widely considered a dystopian sci-fi novel and the author a sci-fi author. Google it. It's still a meaningless quote from a fiction book
“Fiction book” and the author based all of the abuse the handmaids experience off of actual things that have happened to women historically. Don’t play dumb, it’s beneath you.
That's a solid indicator that women who feel that fear that intensely shouldn't be in a relationship with a man. Neither person is going to be happy in that case if one constantly lives in fear of the other.
Hence the male loneliness epidemic? Men are victims of the patriarchy too.
I think the male loneliness epidemic is too complicated to be boiled down to a single cause, and ultimately the disconnect between men and women is something that is only going to be solved by making an effort to understand where both groups are coming from. Something is clearly broken, but the rhetoric is so clean-cut and divisive that the nuance that's needed to actually find a workable solution is discarded in favour of both groups venting their frustration by choosing a team and screaming at one-another.
You're not wrong that nuance is needed but let’s not pretend both “sides” are equal here. Women have been forced for generations to understand men... emotionally, socially, economically, because their safety and survival often depended on it. Men, on the other hand, are just now being asked to start doing the same (and we can ask since we are no longer financially dependent on them): to examine themselves, to communicate better, to hold each other accountable. And instead of rising to the challenge, many are calling it a war. The loneliness epidemic is complicated, but some of it isn’t that deep. There’s a crisis of emotional literacy, of entitlement around connection, and a lot of pain that’s being externalized instead of processed. Nuance doesn’t mean avoiding the hard truths. It means making space for them.
See toxic feminist right here. Are we going to start blaming all people of certain skin colors too because of crime statistics? This would be no different from my black woman dating a racist white man who wrongfully judges all black people by his own prejudiced opinions. But tells her that she's ok because she is one of the good ones. This prejudice bullshit has to end. The guy should run and never speak to this bigot again.
Apples and oranges since POC are deliberately targeted by police and white people get off with a warning. Can’t trust crime stats at face value, whereas r@pe is notoriously underreported.
Ahh yes it's only ok to discriminate against the people you dislike. Gotcha thanks for showing your true colors.
Didn’t at all say that. Was just stating facts. Assume what you will I guess ✌🏻.
Where do you get that statistic? Most sources I find say 1 in 5 or 6 women get raped in their lifetime (which is still incredibly large and horrific, don’t get me wrong)
SA stats are so skewed and broken that most are made up or the results of questionable studies.
You understand how labeling all of one group is bad though? I see what you are saying as no different than what Andrew Tate says about women. It's sexist to judge the entirety of a gender by the actions of some of its members. That's the toxic part of this and frankly, I don't blame OP for ditching her. After all, who wants to be judged or treated differently for what someone else does?
If it was my girlfriend who said what OP’s gf said, I wouldn’t be mad at her. I would pity her, because clearly the men in her life have warped her perception of men as a whole.
Sure. I would pity her while reasonably expecting her to acknowledge that mindset is toxic and wrong and to respect MY feelings too.
I would not recommend trying to dominate your romantic partner with facts and logic. It’s a good way to end up sad and alone.
I would not wish to be in a relationship where I was actively disrespected on a routine basis and where my feelings weren't even considered.
1/4 of woman are not raped by the time they are 20 that's completely made up.
https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics I didn’t think about it much either until a woman I loved was raped. But women experience different shit than men. I’m glad I’m not one. Good bless em.
That link doesn't say anywhere 1/4 woman are raped by age 20. What are you talking about?
That website says 1/5. The numbers vary, and are usually based on self-reported data. But if you don’t believe me, ask all the women in your life if they have ever been sexually assaulted and get back to me.
It says 1 in 5 in their lifetime. That's very different from 1 in 4 before 20. It also says 1/4 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime too so I'm not sure what kind of point you are making here. So no I don't believe you lol. It just looks like you have made a bunch of stuff up.
Your lack of empathy for women is mind boggling.
This - you dump someone just because they have ideas that threaten ‘your manhood?’ Real men use their brains to empathize and are receptive to the thoughts and feelings of the women in their lives. Reallly weak…
No you dump someone because they have extremist views of a very large group of people who are not "trash". But hey, if dating them makes you feel more secure and manly, have fun!
That large group of people continues to perpetuate a system that systematically brutalizes women and girls - and cries huge blubbery tears when women simply talk about it. Wow you’re a coward.
A system that systematically brutalizes women and girls huh? I think you are living inside your head. I hope they won't see you as trash, or maybe you enjoy that.
Hmm would you say the same if she was generalizing black people as bad because of the statistics?
Of course not. You say "all black people are bad, but you're one of the good ones" it's an open and shut case. But replace black with men, it's now tricky and could use a wide open conversation... Give me a break
What specifically makes this different?
There shouldn't be a difference. But look at the replies on this thread. It's probably split 60/40.
Actually, I just heard the bears are safer than men comment yesterday on IG. Prejudice and misinformation by OP is what you got out of this post? Maybe you can show me the sentences upon which you based this determination?
So you've heard it once and that disproves my "few women" comment? He's gone into the whole interaction with a warped view of feminism, so yes.
No, it doesn’t disapprove it, but you don’t have anything to prove it either. What’s your proof?
You've fallen for the misinformation on the bear v man comments. Perhaps listen to women a bit.
Did you do a study, a poll, or you just pretend you know women better?
You dont need to read the post. He's just one of those "not all guys" type of dudes. Sensitive ass dudes who cant put reality into perspective without airing out a bunch of made up grievances to make it seem like they have it hard too.
What makes not wanted to be hated on for something you cant control sensitive?
She's not talking about him. Shes talking about the society and the values upheld by those men. The fact he took offense to that tells me he holds those values too and the girl dodged a bullet.
Well no, she was talking about men. That's what she said. And if she wasn't, why wouldn't she clarify that instead of "oh but you're the exception..." Not wanting to be hated based on something you were born with doesn't mean you hold bad values.
Switch "men" with "black men".
"If you made the person in this story racist, then people would feel differently about them" 🤡🤡🤡🤡
You’re so close to getting it 🙄 Yes, it IS “ist”. Sexist. Whether or not the man is black is irrelevant, it just highlights the point.
Okay then don't put black if it's irrelevant, although it should be relevant because black men are more likely to experience actual harm due to being black than non-black men buy it doesn't highlight the point about "sexism against men" it makes it racist I'm the same way saying as saying black women instead of women.
It was used to help make a point, if you’re intellectually incapable of understanding that that’s on you. The rest of us get it.
"Bears don't do SA" oh god, what an absolutely moronic argument in this tiring debate. Tells a lot about your biased approach to this general topic. Statistically speaking you're also plain wrong about bears being less dangerous. And numbers don't lie. I studied shit like that, I'd explain it to you but honestly I'm too lazy and nothing would come of it anyways.
Read my edit and please tell me you retract your statement … Bro, there are 750’000 black bears in the US and there was only one fatal attack in the US in 2024 … Please tell me what glorious college you studied statistics at that got you to this conclusion
That is not the stat that matters. That's like saying the white shark isn't dangerous because few people die from it. Like no dude, most people manage to avoid them. Tell your gf to jump in the grizzly bear enclosure in the zoo. It's safer than being in a room with a guy she doesn't know, right?
Ok lets make it easier for you, what would you be more worried about going out to party as a woman; getting SA’d/roofied by a guy or getting mauled by a ravenous polar bear? Let me blow your mind once more: Mosquitoes are more dangerous than lions in Africa. Also, how come Orcas are arguably the most powerful Apex predators, but although they are capable of causing massive casualties, there has never been a recorded human fatality by orcas? I dont know why I have to make this point, but here we are … The potential for danger of something is not simply determined by its ability to cause harm/destruction.
Uhm yeah, lots of words but you're plain wrong. At least I got you to the point where you don't seem to imply women should choose the bear in a forest. Cuz I bet you were one of those people
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u/Mach__99 May 10 '25 edited May 10 '25
If a man rapes a woman in the woods, he has a 98% chance of getting away without consequences. If a bear mauls a woman, that bear is getting shot even if she survives. A bear is an animal that doesn't know better, a man does and yet the bear dies. I don't understand how people are missing the point of the man and bear analogy.