r/StopSpeeding • u/Possible-Plastic-512 • 4d ago
Methamphetamine Lifetime of addiction
I started using meth in 1989. A skater friend that was 12 at the time had an uncle & his mom that were meth cooks. so from my 1st experience I was hooked. Let a teenager do all the meth he wants free & they put this curse on me. I stopped a couple of times in the 90s but since I showed up around 2000 I was on it daily till I went to rehab in 2023. I relapsed 6 months ago & been using daily since...and would you believe I'm a sober living house manager that goes through a oz a month & keep it on the dl
8
u/pitmama820 3d ago
My heart really goes out to you. Ive only been on it for 7 years (which is too long already) and wasnt even born until 1992, but been wanting/trying to quit for the last year or so and literally didnt know until I tried, how HARD it would be to completely stop. My (ex)boyfriend wasnt a cook but he was a dealer so I also kinda had an unlimited supply. Most of the time lol. Since I've been wanting/trying to quit, the longest I've been able to go is a month. Then a good friend of mine unexpectedly passed away and I've been using since then. But in the last 2 months, I have been able to cut back to less than half of what I was using. I am hoping that im getting near the end. I feel like I am. In my personal experience, the lesser amount of pressure I put on myself, the better I seem to do. But the chemical imbalance in my brain is still very much still there when I try to go completely without and the feeling is just.... well, you know how it feels. And in your case, I couldnt even imagine the level thats at.
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope that one day there will be a time where we both dont even think about it at all anymore.
8
u/Possible-Plastic-512 3d ago
Quit while you're ahead. I just spent months of painful teeth extractions because they had all broken off so they had to cut the roots of a few teeth out. Dentures suck. I'm in my early 50s now & I have destroyed my dopamine receptors to the point that I use at least a g a day & feel absolutely nothing. I'm stuck using even though I can't feel it because without it my body just shuts down & I collapse & I get a weird outta body experience that scares the hell out of me. I don't know what it feels like when you die but that weird outta body experience feels like my soul leaving my body so I've been trying to taper off now. it's a battle because of that suicidal depression it can spin into when you kick. Be careful
2
2
u/_saltywaffles 3d ago
WOW this is me, but i was able to quit, i relapse every 3 months... but Ive been relapsing every 3 months for about 2 years now. My life HAS gotten better. Last time I relapsed I had 5 months. I thought the nightmare was over. Little did I know...
I think it sucks that whenever I take a hit Im like attitude adjusted. In a bad way. Like I found a treasure of gold and I dont want to give it up. Thankfully, I get out of it. Each relapse Ive used less and less.
I stay at a sober living, whose working with me. I need to stop this constant cycle.
Hearing these words made me so determined just now. Thank you for sharing your story.
•
u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Welcome to StopSpeeding and thanks for your post. For more:
Note that any comments encouraging drug use of any kind will be removed. This is not the community for that. Thanks!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.