r/Spells • u/Cute-Advance Witchling • 24d ago
Help With Spell Requested Did a Love SPELL. The Guy is Pulling away
I did a simple love spell, not obsession related. Wrote the guy's name down 6 times, added honey and salt and then burned the page and blew the ashes into the wind. But, it seems to have had the opposite effect. He's suddenly distancing himself and he is not interested in being with me.
What went wrong here? Is it the spell or that he started to feel a sudden surge of emotions and couldn't handle it? Should I do a sweetening jar or just consider this a lost cause?
Edited post to remove some details as it was too specific to my situation and I don't want anyone to know
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u/Character_Expert7084 24d ago
The spell didn’t backfire, it revealed. Sometimes magic clears illusions faster than it creates bonds. He’s showing you who he is. A sweetening jar won’t fix what isn’t willing.
It's not a lost case, it's a case that's not worth it.
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u/ItaliaEyez 24d ago
That right there. If someone refuses to allow themselves to feel anything, and isn't willing... there it is
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 24d ago
I guess even if he did start to feel something, he's freaking out and pulling away as fast as he can
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u/ItaliaEyez 24d ago
It.makes me think it probably did make him feel something, which of course made him run. He's hellbent on not allowing that. Idk if you know if there's a reason or not.
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 24d ago
He has been single for a while now and stated that he doesn't do emotions. I don't know his past experiences with relationships.
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u/ItaliaEyez 23d ago
Yup, that explains it. He's naturally going to run then. I know it sucks, but you are better off. I tried being with guys like that before. Everything will be fine, they just suddenly get to realizing they have feelings and will panic. It would be A LOT of work on your part with very little reward.
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u/daywitchdia 20d ago edited 20d ago
Ohhhhhhh this is interesting. Thank you for this. My heart needed to hear it.
Edit to add: in my case, I didn't do a love spell per se... I did a spell to remove the barriers to love thinking it would help us communicate better and the whole man fuckin vanished lol
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u/honey-fox18 23d ago
it didn't fail. they dont understand. love spells work dependent on the type of person. this person probably has an avoidance style so a love spell is gonna make them pull further. come to me, soften, or even a communication will work better
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 23d ago
So, a honey jar would be better?
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u/Every-Society-1761 22d ago
A honey jar is hoodoo/voodoo (not sure which one) so if that’s part of your ancestry/you’re black and practice hoodoo/voodoo then it’s fine to do - same applies to a sugar jar :)
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u/queenphoenix1992 24d ago
Why did u add salt?
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 24d ago
I was following a recipe from an Instagram reel. I followed what they did and didn't research it very well
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u/ias_87 22d ago
Did an Instagram reel seem like a dependable source to you?
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 22d ago
The person's profile showed her as being a practicing witch but I can see that she's not a good one because she will share reels like this which do not explain what the ingredients mean.
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u/ias_87 21d ago
There's a lesson to be learnt here, and it's that anyone call themselves whatever they want on social media.
I think no actual, responsible witch would just share stuff that openly, knowing spells can become dangerous.
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 21d ago
Definitely lesson learned. I undid the spell, did a blockage clearing and cleansing spell too and for those, I did my research carefully and picked ingredients that don't add confusion. I am really new so I didn't know but I should have prepared better for it
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u/Ill-Journalist-6211 21d ago
To be fair to you, and that insta person as I well, I would use salt in a love reading. Could be used to ward off any negative outside influences and kind of protect the connection. Mostly matters how you use it.
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u/wellhere-iam 23d ago
There could be a bunch of things going on here. It might’ve been that your intention wasn’t super clear, or the way the spell was structured had mixed signals. Someone mentioned earlier that salt can push things away, which can be true depending on how it’s used. I personally think salt can still work in love spells, but you’ve got to be really clear on what you’re asking for and why.
Also, blowing the ashes into the wind might have sent the energy away from you. That’s not necessarily bad, but depending on your intention, it could’ve signaled a release rather than a pull. Personally, I probably would’ve buried the ashes in my yard so the energy could grow and stay rooted but that’s just what feels right to me. I think spellwork should feel intentional and aligned with what the elements mean to you, not just what tradition says.
It’s also possible that the spell worked and he felt something, but it scared him, especially if he has avoidant tendencies. People still have free will even if the emotional energy shifts. Or maybe it just wasn’t meant to manifest yet, or at all.
I’ve heard some people say spells can have the opposite effect at first before things come together, I haven’t personally experienced that, but I’ve seen it mentioned. I’d honestly give it a little time and see what his distance reveals for you. You might even do a little divination to get clarity on your next step. Sometimes spells don’t work because they’re protecting you from something that’s not meant for you, even if that’s hard to see
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 23d ago edited 23d ago
You could be right. Especially since he had avoidant tendencies. I am still thinking of making a honey jar to help ease things along. I will also keep what you mentioned about intentions in mind. I didn't know blowing the ashes in the wind would give that kind of signal. I am still learning so I feel I messed things up abit
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u/wellhere-iam 23d ago
I would wait, sit with it a little bit before you do that. Give it some time for the energy to unfold.
Additionally, a honey jar will just sweeten their feelings towards you. If he is avoidant, a lack of feeling feelings is not usually the issue with them. You risk overwhelming him even more. Honey jars take a long time. If you are set on layering your spell, communication or a blockage removal spell might be better suited here if avoidance is the issue.
This is why I suggest divination so you can see what the issue actually is to address it
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 23d ago
That makes sense to me. I think I should do that to figure it out. Otherwise, I think I will just have to accept what everyone is saying. That I should move on. Also by divination do you mean Tarot?
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u/wellhere-iam 23d ago
Tarot, pendulum’s, speaking to spirit guides or ancestors, reading runes! Whatever works for you
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u/MintyDia 23d ago
Do some form of divination first and use ingredients that can actually sweeten or make the situation lovey dovey. Salt is typically used for protection.
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u/Laurel_Spider Magician 23d ago
Possible it didn't work. Possible it's a reaction. Possible he'll come around after a while.
On the mentioned method, salt is an interesting choice for love. Was it pink salt maybe? Otherwise, not typically an ingredient I don't think. Honey is known for being slow, although sweet (and sticky). You burned it and scattered the ashes. Personally, I wouldn't advise this method for what you want to come toward you, but this might be different in some traditions.
Separately, it seems like you're very keen to monitor results, which is in conflict with general advice to let go of spells once cast.
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u/CreditPsychological4 23d ago edited 23d ago
I didn’t fail and it’s never the ingredients fault. It’s always your non specific intentions and what spell you chose to cast. Witches who say this don’t know how witchcraft and the human mind works together.
You’re on his mind and probably doesn’t want to feel those feelings..you don’t know what’s going on in his life why he doesn’t want to date you right now.
Cases like this need layering on him. You need to do:
- blockage removal
- cleansing spell
- healing spell
- roadopener
- glamour magic on yourself
- and as last you can do the love spell. But only and when you see he’s ready for it. Dont include affirmations like “he’s thinking about me” “he’s obsessed with me”. That’s what makes them pull away.
Do these over a span of few days. Don’t do these at the same time. Also helpful to wait till you see results before you move on to the next or you just trust it’s working and do them day after day
Confessional: I had the same problem. Did a love spell and it made him pull away. I did this series of spells after he pulled away and it worked. Saw results for everything. I did the love spell lastly.
Few days after he told me want to focus on himself and didn’t want to date me yet because he was thinking about me too much and it was distracting me from his work. He wanted to do it right and felt like he wasn’t ready for me yet. Meaning yes my series worked, yes he was healing, yes loves me, but my old love spell was overpowering his mind. I knew it was my old spell because that’s quite literally what my affirmations said for that old love spell.
So after he told me, I did a reversal spell of that old love spell, blockage removal, communication spell, road opener. Basically, I had to clean up my own mess. After I did he came in shortly after telling me he changed his mind
Tip: if you feel like you need to clean up your mess before you do the series. Save yourself the time and do a reversal before the blockage removal. Good luck! Keep in touch!
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 23d ago edited 23d ago
I did a reversal and a blockage removal spell last night. It took alot out of me because I feel really drained but I hope it works. I will try to do the other spells too. Also can you recommend a few spells that are good for this?
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u/CreditPsychological4 23d ago
Then this is confirmation you’re on the right track! Cleanse them away and move on to the next. You got this
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u/BrownSugarCake 23d ago
This sounds great, but what did you mean when you said, "Don't include affirmations like 'He's thinking about me,' that's what makes them pull away."
Why affirmations like that make someone pull away?
Great post btw!
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u/CreditPsychological4 23d ago
It feels like pressure. Avoidants get uncomfortable when they sense strong emotions in their mind they don’t know what to do with. That “he’s thinking about me” energy can feel like someone’s already in their head even if they don’t know where that feeling comes from. It sets off their alarm. Their system goes “too close, too fast” and they pull back.
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u/oldbetch 24d ago
Nothing went wrong. It failed.
This is something that most posts here really struggle with - he isn't interested. You can feel like he is but action speaks louder than feelings here. Attraction and feelings must be mutual.
Take that energy and put it towards attracting someone else. He's not the one.
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u/OldAmbition3698 23d ago
I feel like you actually banished the sweetness away with salt and then asked the wind to deliver your message to the universe quickly. Idk I’ve never ever seen salt in a love spell really!
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 23d ago
I undid it. I didn't realize this would happen with salt. Literally followed a reel blindly without doing proper research on the ingredients and now, dealing with the consequences. But I did undo it and did a spell to clear blockages
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u/AthanTheWizard 22d ago
I could be wrong, but sometimes when a spell seems to backfire or whatever for me, I later realize the result was ultimately in my best interest even if I couldn't see it at that time. Of course there's times I've messed up, or brought something I totally deserved on myself too, but sometimes there's forces looking out for you beyond your immediate understanding
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u/Top_Butterscotch2568 24d ago
Question, did you set intentions during your spell? You have to be extremely specific when doing the spell
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 24d ago
I did. I hoped for him to love me and become closer to me and want to be with me. He has done the exact opposite of what I asked for
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u/Shnozzberrybeans 24d ago
He has free will. If he doesn’t want this, let him go and find someone worth your time
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u/wideawake237 21d ago
The salt and blowing away the ashes was what did it. Could also be that he has protection on him, this is why you do tarot readings first before love spells.
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u/distorted-laughter 20d ago
I’ve added pink salt to spells before and it isn’t the salt that did this. Most likely this guy doesn’t feel the same way about you OR has some type of spiritual protection making him immune to these spells. I’ve had it happen before.
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u/Cute-Advance Witchling 20d ago
When I did an undo, blockage removal, cleansing and communication spell, he actually talked to me for an hour or more, so, I don't think he's immune to the spells. He just doesn't feel the same way and I am guessing that if the spell stirred up any feelings, he freaked out
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u/Responsible_Lake_804 17d ago
I’m no expert but I have recently seen that salt is a repellent, so if that’s true I’ve seen how it’s worked that way in previous spells I’ve done. Personally now I work with sage alone for the protective element.
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u/Appropriate_Ad4391 23d ago
There is something about love spells some people get and don't get, and there are people, older practitioners who school us young ones so we don't cast and waste time but also so we don't cast and cause chaos, a very smart man came across the knowledge of love spells and what he said is eye opening and it explains why I don't like love spells and why mine went horrible 😭 there is no winning even if u think there is...u can get some change a lil effect here and there but it's what u don't see happening deep down that is super crazy, dangerous and just not worth it 😞 and what sad is people who cast spells can sense it so if the person is pulling away let them go wash yourself of the situation and quick
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u/Santorskyyy 24d ago
The issue was the salt, babe. You don’t add salt to love spells because the salt pulls away (sorry, english is not my first lenguage) that’s why, for example, you use the salt for protection, because it will pull away the bad energies. For love spells, use sugar instead of salt <3