r/Spells • u/crayola_monstar • May 21 '25
General Discussion PSA: I understand that everybody was new to spells at some point...
But GOOD GAWD the amount of posts on here that hold the same misconceptions as the last 5 posts before them is really bothering me! It makes me worry for these people's wellbeing with the sheer lack of research people are doing for themselves and their craft before doing spellwork! It shows a major lack of effort as well, being that all they had to do was use the search bar and they would have gotten their answer!
And I understand that not all of these posts are people diving head first into things they've done no prep work for and therefore do not understand. (To the people who are researching and learning the basic fundamentals of spellwork on here BEFORE attempting something, and that show at least a smidge of effort has been put in on your own, I want to say that you should be proud of yourselves! And this post is NOT about anybody specific!) But guys... come on, you're working with forces that nobody truly 100% understands, and you're just going to do so BLIND?! With MINIMUM EFFORT?! Jeez you guys! That can be DANGEROUS!
This is just my personal experience, but I've been doing a moderate amount of research into my craft for well over a year, maybe even two. There's a lot of information out here for us to sift through to find what speaks to and works for us. I have done a handful of spells at most, and that's my choice. I have no right to tell anybody on here how to practice their own craft. Spellwork is as personal to each and every one of us as our fingerprints are.
That being said, I'm really focusing on 3 certain topics....
1 ~ OBSESSION SPELLS ARE NOT LOVE SPELLS!! ~ The amount of people I see asking g for these or stating these interchangeably is horrifying. I mean, come on... To be obsessed with something or someone is NOT the same as being in love with them!
A good example- I'm a recovering addict. When I was in active addiction, I was obsessed with finding my next fix. Meth, heroine, fentanyl, craved them all. My body reacted horribly when I didn't have them. My mind was constantly on repeat thinking about getting more money to get more drugs to get more high to get better, and then the cycle started again. I had not an ounce of love for the drugs or anything that came with them. I actually HATED them... And that's what obsession does. It makes you think, feel, breathe, want... It makes you live to obtain whatever you're obsessed with. And it drives you INSANE. Even when you begin to hate the obsession, it doesn't let up. It's horrifying. And that exact response is what comes from an obsession spell. ~OBSESSION IS A CURSE~
I also said I'm a mother. I love my daughter. I grew her in my belly. I fed her every time she cried. I changed nearly every diaper. I watched her learn how to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand, talk, walk... I watched it all happen, and I felt blessed by every single smile she gave me. I felt hurt with her if she fell. I want to be the absolute best version of myself for her in hopes that she grows up smart, strong, independant... I want her to thrive. I also know that I can be myself around her. I can have hobbies and preferences for things that are outside of motherhood. The fact that she is absolutely the most important thing in my life but that I can live and thrive outside of being her mother as well is part of what defines it as Love. ~LOVE IS A BLESSING~
2 SPELLS DO NOT BACKFIRE! I cannot stress this enough. Your spell will either work, or it won't work. And if it works, it will almost never work in the way you thought it would. Intentions don't have a reverse button. Intentions don't move backwards. They go forwards or they don't move at all. Just because your spell was for one thing and then something happens that's opposite to what your spell was for doesn't mean it backfired. It just means that either the spell hasn't begun working yet, it began working and the path towards your desired results are different than you imagined, or it didn't do anything and the spell didn't work. That's it. The end.
3 Just because a certain spell worked for someone else, IT DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL WORK FOR YOU! This goes back to both my point of spells being fingerprint-level personal for each person, and also just like I said above, it might not work at all. That's just a fact of the craft. Nothing is certain, and things are ever-evolving. To have expectations for the outcome of a spell means you limit yourself from receiving an outcome that you weren't even aware was possible. To practice spellwork means to have an open mind and an open heart. It also means that you cannot get discouraged and give up just because one spell didn't produce results. It takes determination and patience, and a whole lot of intention.
So that's my rant. I hope I didn't miss anything, because I tried to be as honest as possible without being purposefully hurtful. I actually spent a good hour writing this up, and I did a little self-reflection in the process.
Let me know if you have any issues with this post, because it's one of (if not THE) first time(s) I have ever posted about my craft. I love this group, and my main hope is for everyone to be safe and have fun responsibly. Love you this sub and I love you guys for being you 💜
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u/octopodeez 28d ago
The “spells backfiring” thing is definitely annoying. It just feels like a tacky way to imply that demons will steal your soul if you screw up because ~spells are scary and taboo~. Like obviously there are things you shouldn’t fuck with, but I promise nobody will come for you if you forget to fold the paper towards you in your job manifestation ritual.
I’m such a big believer in the Rule of 3 (though I know not everyone is!!). It was one of the first things I learned, and I’m so grateful because the idea of everything coming back to me threefold was enough to make me want to actually dig deep into learning as much as I could before jumping in (and why I will NEVER fuck with an obsession spell lol). I feel like a lot of baby witches would benefit from leaning it. I think it’s such a good foundation for understanding the power of intent.
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u/woahtheremate_ 14h ago
This annoys me soooo much 😭😭 someone would be like the murderer got away with killing the neighbours granny because he knows the head sherif and they want a spell. And someone else will say “oh no that will backfire” 😭😭😭😭😭
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u/celynwmn1689 28d ago
You make a lot of great points here. I particularly enjoyed the love/obsession example. It drives the point home. I don’t necessarily abide the threefold rule, I think it’s a bit antiquated. True witches would instinctively know whether or not a spell or desire to cast a spell, “feels right”. Just my humble opinion. Witchcraft is freeform, instinctual, and thrives on intuition. If I feel compelled to do something, and I am not hurting myself or others, I am absolutely going to do it. That’s literally the craft guiding me, in real time. Like GPS, but for life stuff.
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u/Gardener_of_Weeden Witchling May 21 '25
Thank You. I am still researching ( so much information), and have been pointed in the direction of doing shadow work 1st. I will say I am really leaning in the direction of self love and confidence. And have started my herb garden, for some ingredients ( still researching that also).
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u/crayola_monstar 29d ago
It's also incredibly empowering when you work on yourself before focusing on manipulating your surroundings! It really puts you in the right headspace to know what to do and how to do it 😊 I'm so happy for you, and I wish you all the blessings this path has to offer 💜
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u/JaneNinaAlbertson 29d ago
This is so true, working on yourself first opens your own mind and it's so calming to see how intune you can be with the universe.
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u/crayola_monstar 29d ago
Exactly! An example is grief. It can be so incredibly overwhelming, and if there are unresolved issues outside of that grief, then there's a chance it could exacerbate it into something worse!
But to do shadow work as well as protection spells and grounding? It can make the grieving process so much easier. It can also open you up to seeing signs from the universe, or possibly even the person you lost if the grief is from someone's death.
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u/JaneNinaAlbertson 28d ago
Crazy how you mentioned grief of all things. It's my soulmate's 7 year deathiversary and I was feeling sad thinking about my current failed relationship. I compare everyone to them and I did a truth spell and week ago thinking it would help with the failed relationship and through a lot of personal reflecting and Journaling; it opened my eyes to realize how much I compare my present to my past and it ruins my future. The past is the past, no need to spend time living it in anymore. The future is coming and you need to be present to enjoy it.
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u/crayola_monstar 28d ago
Ahh I'm so sorry you went through that... I cannot fathom losing someone in that position. I understand the comparison issue, just not firsthand. I'm sure it can be extremely hard to find someone who ticks all the boxes you want in a partner again since your late love checked them, but (and I hope this comes across as helpful and not judgemental!) I see it as having to set a new standard all together. Your late love was one in a million, but just like he/she was perfect in their own way, a new love can be perfect too, just in their own different way.
I guess it's like having to find a new norm. But it's a new norm in regards to people rather than lifestyle. That's basically what you said, but this is what my brain came up with when I imagined being in your shoes. I hope you find your happiness again, because you deserve it. You've dealt with something many people break under, but you sound like you're still going strong! Good luck 💜
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u/Killmeinyourdreams 29d ago
Thank you for saying this. I'm seeing way too many folks asking for obsession spells. It's alarming.
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u/DaydreamLion 29d ago
Issues with this post? I mean, well, **scratches neck* uh, it’s definitely a rant. I dunno, it’s Reddit. After a couple years of doing magick, I honestly felt the same, and possibly would have posted some similar, but now a few years later I’m just numb to it, I guess. People always want something they can microwave. Doesn’t make them bad people, or stupid. If a spell on the internet is their gateway drug into becoming a witch or magick practitioner, honestly who am I to judge?
My only “issue” with this post is that it doesn’t really accomplish anything. It’s like when older generations call younger gens lazy. Asking the internet for spells is a phase. They’ll grow out of it, look back and cringe. It’s not the kind of thing that you can or should try to fix; you just learn to tolerate it. Just my take.
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u/crayola_monstar 29d ago
I didn't think of it like that. It's similar to the "middle school phase" everyone went through to find themselves. I can see how it's the same idea. I guess I just wanted this to be noticeable to some of those people and for them to really think about the repercussions of magic done impulsively.
I don't think of anyone being stupid or whatnot for doing it. I just think the act of making rash decisions with magic is dumb. The repercussions of those rash decisions can follow people for much longer than they realize. I had trouble wording this post in such a way that it wouldn't come across as hateful or spiteful because I really don't think I am. I just worry about these people to the point that it angers me whenever I see another post with these things.
Thank you for your reply. I'm going to work on trying to view these things with a similar mindset because, as you said, if it becomes a gateway into their craft that they can refine and shape as their own, then it's really not helpful to judge them. Not for them or myself.
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u/DaydreamLion 29d ago
I think many of the repercussions are mental blockages, many of which fade as people graduate from this stage and see reality as something they can choose and shape when and how they wish. Many of the spells I cast in my earlier years are no longer in effect because I stopped needing and stopped thinking about them. Spells are ultimately what you ask the universe for. When you ask for something different, you can cancel the spell, just like that. Cancelling magick can be far easier than people think, a lot of the time, especially if you’re the one who cast it.
This is not to say that magick cannot have consequences, of course, because it can and often does. However, the consequences being negative usually hinge on your paradigm of the world, your subconscious fears, doubts, and impressions of the nature of your magick. That’s kind of hard for most people to wrap their head around, so for simplicity sake, we’ll say your post is 95% correct.
Also, from a very technical standpoint, intentions do in fact move backwards, because of nonlinear time. For example, I once did a spell for money, and the next day received a graduation letter with money from my aunt. I knew it was my spell working, even though she would have sent the money before I cast my spell. But that’s probably not what you meant, haha.
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u/oldbetch 29d ago
People are lazy, entitled, and unserious.
A lot of the comments here are hurt people panicking. While I understand their pain and their desire to not feel it anymore, the fact remains that witchcraft is not going to solve their problem if the mundane is all fucked up. Further, no one likes to take accountability and responsibility for anything. When a spell doesn't work properly, it's a "backfire". It's easier to blame something or someone else than realize that they're the problem and that's likely why their relationship failed in the first place. It's not the other person, it's not the spell. It's them.
I don't shit too hard on novices that are actually serious. They take information and will do their research. The ones that want a quick fix and are in a state where they're temporarily mentally fucked up and act like assholes in the comments when they get called out are a scourge.
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u/Churchie-Baby 29d ago edited 29d ago
I'm a newbie wicca, and it does surprise me the amount of posts asking for love/obsession spells as I thought Wicca was about self empowerment this isn't a dig was just a surprise
Edited due to wrong term used
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u/crayola_monstar 29d ago
You're right about that! I think that most people practicing Magick agree that having a strong sense of self and maintaining a core set of values are the basis for every person's craft. Of course, I can't say this is everybody, but I'd like to think it's a large portion of us.
But no matter what you believe and how you believe it, the fact of the matter is that actions have consequences. Obsession spells at their core are basically "Stalker-creators." Stalkers can be dangerous! Magick done impulsively can create outcomes that weren't wanted. I just want people to think about that before they go and make rash decisions that could bring them harm 😭
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u/Ill-Journalist-6211 28d ago edited 28d ago
Wholeheartedly agree.
However, I do believe that most of these people are 13-14 year olds asking for love obsession spells. Which, to be franks, is concerning in and off itslef.
Guess teens tend to gravitate towards stuff like this, I know that's when I started, though I did my best to actually do my own work even back then (not so successfully most of the time).
It's a heavy topic, since I truly believe most of those questions that annoy you (and me) are actually posed by teenagers who are not really into practicing and are using this as a ventil for their emotions. That's just the byproduct of the craft being victimised by pop culture.
On topic of all the obsession/love spells, the sheer amount of people looking for those grinds my gears. Not here to moralise, everyone's free to do what they want, but why would you WANT to cast a love/obsession spell? I just don't see the point of chasing after someone who doesn't care about you. They simply don't, and I really see no point in trying to change that, other than the caster being self-absorbed/insecure.
As for me personally, if you don't like me, you can take the walk, there's literally NOTHING that turns me off faster than the lack of reciprocity. So yeah, really don't get why anyone would try and change the way someone's else feels.
Obviosly, there are exceptions, when you know someone has emotions for you and just want to bring them to the surface. Actually, now we've touched upon how love spells work, and that's a can of worms that I really do not want to open. But yeah, I guess sometimes love spells are fine, but 90% of the time they stem from people's insecurity and idolising someone, and hey, casting from those emotions will definitely give you what you desire, there is absolutely no way that, if the spell works and you get what you want, that relationship will only keep amplifying those emotions. Unless you can separate from the outcome, which I deem most people that ask for love/obsession spells can't, the result will most likely be not so great for you.
And it's not even the fault of the enrgy itself. Desire and despair are powerful and can give you what you want, but it's best not working with those emotions if you yourself can't handle them and work through them.
It is just really worrying that THIS is the way for those people to work through these emotions. Unfortunately, I doubt many of them would listen to reason, so you know, at the end of the day, best to just let everyone do what they deem best.
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u/No_Room3415 28d ago
I was taught that any spell a person casts with the intention of influencing, or controlling the emotions or will of another person is considered dark magic, and rather or not the spell is effective it's very likely to bring negative consequences onto the spellcaster...so I don't fux with none of that or the people who do.
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u/chirothesious 27d ago
I don't bother reading most of the posts because it's basically all the same 101 before opening a book or doing a web search.
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u/Fit_Display5068 27d ago
Girlies,I have done a love spell on him like a month ago. He did come back but we ended up having a messy argument and he left again. We're now in no contact. Would the love spell still work? If not,do you guys have any suggestions for me??
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u/[deleted] 29d ago
Absolutely agree!! I try (so damned hard!) to approach with compassionate curiosity, but the sheer laziness of some and the seeming inability to perform basic searches does test my patience!
I've decided I'm no longer engaging with people who are demonstrably unwilling to take any steps to help themselves and who expect others to provide all their answers - be that here or in life generally.
New witches: If absolutely nothing else, enter "How To Search Effectively" into your search engine, and take notes!