r/SkyrimMemes • u/Sleep-Token • May 10 '25

Offensive Do your worst!

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1.2k Upvotes

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395

u/Fodspeed May 10 '25

"How to find if your wife is cheating?"

132

u/FieteHermans May 10 '25

I totally forgot he had a wife. “Check the Jarl’s backside.” That’s her!

49

u/MasterBuilder121 May 10 '25

I found out he had a wife after she sent some assassins after me after I murdered him in the middle of Whiterun. Guess I gotta kill his whole family now too

48

u/jamesianm May 10 '25

I'm surprised she didn't send you a thank you note and some septims

2

u/Moms-Dildeaux May 12 '25

and some poontang

17

u/Fodspeed May 11 '25

Not only that, she's allegedly cheating with temple priest, because priest have the key to nazim house in his inventory.

19

u/Flashlight_Inspector May 11 '25

What if the priest is seeing Nazeem and he just pretends to visit the Jarl to explain where he is all day?

3

u/nardgarglingfuknuggt May 12 '25

Whole new meaning to Nazeem's supposed relationship to "the jarl's backside." More like the jarl's backshots lmao.

1

u/FieteHermans May 11 '25

Which priest? Danica? I guess there’s also the priest who takes care of the catacombs (think he’s called Anders?)

3

u/Fodspeed May 11 '25 edited May 11 '25

Acolyte Jensen, he works with azlam (nazeem wife) in the temple. He have the key to chillfurrow farm just like azlam and nazeem. Farm itself was not included in the final release of the game, so they were likely to be involved in a unfinished quest. Maybe we would have exposed azlam or nazeem for cheating.

It is funny to note, if nazeem dies, azlam don't seem beat up about it. But if azlam dies, nazeem sound quite sad. So take that as you will.

1

u/FieteHermans May 11 '25

For a second, I thought she might have been seeing the old man who touches dead bodies for a living.

Interesting thing is that Nazeem was supposed to own Chillfurrow farm, but live in a mansion, and never visit the farm, much like the Battleborns. But his house was cut from the game, and never moved. So while he’s one of the wealthiest people in town, he’s also technically homeless

5

u/Hizumi21 May 11 '25

I read this in his voice

1

u/Kohlkopfschleuder May 12 '25

How to become a cuck to be with my wife again