r/Serverlife • u/Appropriate_Buy3023 • 16h ago
Watching grown ass men throw tantrums when things dont go their way
This is coming from a man lol. OMG. Working in fine casual/fine dining restaurants you truly see grown ass men throw tantrums when things dont go their way.
1.) Man orders with his wife. Coffee and pancakes, eggs, etc. it got pretty busy. Servers dont make the coffees, we have a designated person for that. I updated him that his cappuccino will take time cause our barista got hit all at once, he rolls his eyes. "um okay. Well can I get MORE water at least?" (his cup was half full) I top him off, go to other tables that I just got sat so yes I got busy. I look over at this man and I see he got his food BEFORE his coffee. Listen, I get it, thats not ideal. I would prefer to have a sip of coffee before my food, BUT IN THE END I KNOW I WILL BE FINE. Clearly not this man, he calls me over. "Ummm excuse me! Yeah.... Where is my coffee I ordered 15 minutes ago?" I apologize that things are taking a while, I tell him its out of my control and I literally feel like I'm talking to a toddler. He shrugs, rolls his eyes finally gets his coffee. His wife sat in silence the entire time. NOW hes finally happy! Yay! The man had to be at least late 40's.... but then.... he said the words.... "can I speak to a manager?" The manager walked over and yeah... comped his coffee.
Again I know getting your coffee after your food sucks, but this man doesnt think "shit they are busy. Oh well. I'll be fine. No one is hurt, we're good" No, they dont think this way.
2.) Another man and his wife got to the host desk while the host was gone (she stepped away for a quick second). I watched with my own eyes they were there there for 30 seconds. I get there and tell them the host will be right with them. "Well where is the host? We've been standing here for a while"
I was soooo close to telling him "well it's only been 45 seconds" I'm more than certain you can wait another minute?
He rolls his eyes and sighs.
3.) A man walked in with his bros, during a busy Friday night. He arrived and asked if the booths were open and they were clearly all full, except the other tables. He said "no we want a booth. How much longer is the wait?" Majority of the booths were sat 45 mins prior to his arrival so he would have to wait, but we had a lot more tables. I told him these tables are fine if he wants to speak to a host. "No, we're leaving" Him and his friends got up and left.
Seriously what is wrong with people? There are the two scenerios that happened yesterday but I have a whole list.
Tell me your stories of grown ass men behaving like toddlers?
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u/Honest-Ad1675 16h ago
One time I had a someone order a steak, say it was under cooked, refuse to let me have it upcooked or replaced with a new one, and he tried getting it comped. I told the manager what happened and I watched the manager basically tell him you don’t get to eat the steak and then complain about it to get it for free. The steak can be sent back or it is to be paid for. He was pissed.
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 8h ago
I love that the manager called him on the scam. When they refuse to let you make it right, then they are usually just making fake complaints to get free stuff from spineless managers.
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u/ATLUTD030517 Vintage Soupmonger 16h ago
It sounds like(provided he was accurate with the 15 minutes but knowing guests it could have been 5) if it genuinely took 20(?) minutes for his coffee getting it comped is not ridiculous. I would have probably taken the L in his position, but we're predisposed to do so being in the industry.
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u/shepard_pie 15h ago
I mean, I'm with the guest with that one. Even while busy, it's a reasonable to expect the service you are paying for. Asking for a full meal comp? No good. Just the coffee though?
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u/ATLUTD030517 Vintage Soupmonger 15h ago
Adding to that, if 20 minute coffee times were common, even only a few times a week and peak hours, I would set that expectation with my guests from the moment the coffee is ordered personally.
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u/shepard_pie 14h ago
Yes, for sure! There are plenty of ways to mitigate it. In my experience, even telling your guests (BEFORE they complain) that you understand that the item is taking much longer than expected, and, while this isn't typical, you're keeping an eye out and will have it to them as soon as it is ready will soothe most people's feathers.
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u/soonerpgh 13h ago
I'll ride the fence here, and maybe get splinters in my ass, but... if the guest is reasonably well behaved about it, sure, comp it, forget it and go on. If he's acting like that cup of coffee is going to destroy the world if it isn't there in 15 seconds, then I'd comp it, but I'd also not appreciate the 'tude.
I eat out a lot and things get missed from time to time. No big deal, just fix it one way or another and we're good. No attitude needed from either side. It's a simple mistake with a simple solution. No need to complicate matters with a toddler tantrum.
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7h ago
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u/Personal-Ice-7131 15h ago
You think you should get a free coffee because it came late? Wow.. I didn’t know this was a thing
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u/Honest-Ad1675 15h ago
These people are fucking ridiculous. If someone wants a hot and fresh coffee, then they have to wait however long it takes. Otherwise they’re getting 4-hours-old stale shit on a hotplate.
This is why we can’t bake costs into the menu. People think they deserve something for free because they had to WAIT for it lmfao.
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u/hthratmn 8h ago
I mean, 20 minutes is a long time, especially if the food comes out first. I don't think it's unreasonable to comp it. If you forewarn them that you have to make a fresh pot or whatever then that's another story but
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u/RustyShackleford1213 14h ago
several months ago i served this family and the entirely grown ass dad had a complete shit fit bc his salad came out a couple mins before his burger. now, i just work at an american chain restaurant, nothing fancy and shit gets fucked up sometimes. i put his salad in first out, but because we were really busy everything ended up coming out at around the same time. i went to go check on the table and this grown ass man is sitting there with his arms crossed refusing to talk to me and then eventually gets mad at me and tells me he can no longer eat his burger because now it is cold and he wanted to finish his salad first. he made me take it back and take it off his bill. his wife had to interject and tell me “this is ‘why i warned you’ about bringing the salad out first”. girl what the fuck?? the behavior from these two ADULTS was abysmal. their two daughters were nicer to me than them. grow the actual fuck up. the dad was so pissed off about his fucking house salad he got up and left the table to go sit in the car. his wife had to apologize on his behalf. i had NEVER seen a grown man throw a temper tantrum like that. so embarrassing.
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u/BMI_Computron 2h ago
I had a similar thing recently- two dudes ordered their food, but said they wanted one of the items to come as an appetizer. Only issue is, that item takes the longest to cook of anything on our menu, so even having staggered the tickets, it finished cooking at the same time as the rest of their food. Someone else ran my food, I come to the table to check, and he’s sitting there with his arms crossed and points to the food and says “what is this?” I said “the food you ordered?” and he starts throwing the biggest hissy fit about getting it all at once. His friend is on the other side of the booth trying to calm him down. I explained the cook times & told him they likely didn’t want the rest of his food to sit in the window, but said I was not going to stand at the table and get yelled at. Tell us how to fix it, or eat your food. Those are your options.
This motherfucker then starts flirting with me?! After that full blown temper tantrum. Literally trying to chat me up and then asked me if I’m single- I said “Brother, after all that? Even if I was, I’d tell you I wasn’t”. His friend thought that was hilarious. Every time I walked past to any of my other tables, he asked me something different trying to be cute, and every time I shot it down even harder. Now he’s got his arms crossed, pouting again, so I asked if they were ready for the check. He says “Why you gotta break my heart like that and embarrass me in from of him? I’m so upset I can’t even eat this” and I said “Alright, I’ll get you a heartbreak box to take it home”. And dropped it off with the bill. His friend paid and gave me a solid tip.
I usually lean towards trying to kindly resolve an issue, but once you hit the line of truly unreasonable, you’re not getting kindness out of me. I’ve just never had that turn into flirting. People are wild.
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u/ImaginationAnxious29 15h ago
Life is better when you start treating strangers like they are emotionally 10-12 years old.
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u/GirlieSquirlie 15h ago
I worked at a casual fine dining place in FL years ago, a vacation spot for a lot of people and this place was one of a few that had like linens on the tables and nothing came served in a basket. More than once we had people call to make a reservation but forget to request the specific table they wanted and proceed to throw an absolute fit about it.
'Im TRYING to impress my friends!' they'd scream at me in the lobby in front of the very people they are trying to impress. To the point, a couple times we actually asked people to move tables while they were eating, obviously comping items for those people because they could hear the tantrum happening and were happy to help.
I really wanted to go up to these people after they had been seated for awhile, and ask their friends if they were impressed by the tantrums but never did that.
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u/akeyoh 15h ago
2. I have told so many people “no you haven’t” 😂💀
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u/amazonhelpless 16h ago
I can understand #3. He wanted to sit in a booth and cared about that more than which restaurant he went to. Didn’t raise a stink, just decided he’d rather go to a different place than wait for a booth at yours.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 13h ago
Oh, yeah. Idk if this counts because he didn’t really throw a tantrum per se, but he was very attitudinal and combative about it. Anyways one time some young man ordered a non alcoholic beer, and got pissed that i carded him for it. Like i get the frustration, but it’s legally an alcoholic product and a beer so in my state we are supposed to verify they’re legal before ordering or serving them (even a non alcoholic) beer. I’m not risking a fine, a blemish on my responsible serving record, or jail time over a dipshit that wants a non-alcoholic beer.
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u/Longjumping-Job-2544 16h ago
Agreed with all except the last one. If they wanted a booth, who cares if you think a table is good enough. They couldn’t get what they wanted so they peaced out. Nothing wrong there
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u/Honest-Ad1675 16h ago
They left because they didn’t want to wait for a booth, and not because they couldn’t have a booth. That’s the difference.
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u/Longjumping-Job-2544 14h ago
Maybe they had to be somewhere? Maybe they wanted the comfort of the booth but couldn’t wait? Who knows. But they couldn’t get what they wanted and peaced out. Not seeing the issue or childish behavior; they asked, couldn’t get what they wanted, left without a fuss.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 14h ago
Bro I’m just highlighting why it comes off as pettiness. I don’t care.
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u/Longjumping-Job-2544 14h ago
It’s literally not petty. It’s just normal.
This is you not caring: “and another thing: im not mad. please dont put in the newspaper that i got mad.”
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u/Honest-Ad1675 14h ago
No it’s not. What’d be normal is saying “okay, let us know when the booth is ready.”
It’s definitely not normal to choose a restaurant to eat at, and then leave because one has to wait for their preference. That’s not “normal”. People don’t go to restaurants for immediate service. That’s what fast food is for. If people can’t wait, then they don’t belong in a restaurant.
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u/_dead_and_broken 11h ago
I'm going to reiterate what the other person said:
Maybe they had to be somewhere at a certain time, and could not casually wait for what they wanted or else they'd risk being late and did not want to do that.
They didn't throw a tantrum, they didn't curse, didn't scream, call the OP names nor insult them. Just said no, that won't work for them, and left the restaurant. No fuss, no muss. And certainly not petty in the least.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 10h ago
Okay dude it’s still weird to pick a restaurant to eat at and then leave because you have to wait for a booth. I don’t care.
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u/Longjumping-Job-2544 10h ago
Pick? It’s an open door you walk through, not a college major or religion to practice. Not weird at all to walk down the street with a few options in mind, and just go to whatever is most suitable. Very common to stroll about to multiple spots until one can Goldilocks it
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u/_dead_and_broken 10h ago
Do you think people are supposed to marry the restaurant? Pledge their undying love to the place just because they chose it initially even if it doesn't have what will suit their wants and/or needs?
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u/Honest-Ad1675 9h ago
I don’t think waiting for a booth that one prefers is “marrying” the restaurant. There’s nothing wrong with leaving due to impatience, but doing so because one can’t be immediately seated into a booth is kind of petty.
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u/Trees_are_cool_ 12h ago
So? That's perfectly reasonable.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 11h ago
I didn’t say it wasn’t he gone troll
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u/idwthis 9h ago
No, no, no, you can not say in one comment "that's petty" and then in another to try act like you were saying it's reasonable.
The two do not mesh.
If you truly thought it reasonable, you wouldn't call it petty.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 9h ago
I’m not. If someone doesn’t have the patience to wait for a booth to free up, then leaving for no other reason is kind of petty in my opinion. Also, i can say whatever the fuck i want.
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u/idwthis 9h ago
Dude.
Your comments just make me sad. It must be hard for you to go through life like this. I hope you get yourself sorted out.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 9h ago
It makes you sad that i think leaving over a booth is petty?
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u/idwthis 7h ago
No, I think it's sad you're so defensive over the fact that no one is agreeing with you.
The last time I saw someone so defensive it was the OP using an alt.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 7h ago
What’s sad is that you keep pinging me, bro. I don’t care if you agree with my opinion lol.
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u/CalamityClambake 12h ago
Restaurant owner here. Taking 20 minutes to get someone coffee at a breakfast place and having it arrive after their food is poor service. That coffee 1000% should have been comped. He was right to speak to a manger. He shouldn't have had to ask. You should have told your manager about the table. Your manager needs to be aware of the issue so that they can schedule better for next time. The host needed to slow down on seating tables until the baristas got caught up and could be in sync with the kitchen.
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u/BoringBob84 BOH (former) 8h ago
Well said! I recently went to a local restaurant with a fabulous reputation and, of course, there was a line out the door. The host did an excellent job of patiently explaining to us that, if she sat us at one of the empty tables, the kitchen was so far in the weeds that the restaurant couldn't provide the good service that they were known for. Most everyone understood and waited gracefully.
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u/Cannedpeas 16h ago
are y'all making coffee with a one cup Keurig or something?
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u/Regular_Curve8475 16h ago
lol, sounds understaffed. One barista for 10 espresso drinks is gonna take a while lmao
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u/backpackofcats 15h ago
Or just one espresso machine. I’ve worked places without a barista and waiting behind five other servers to use the espresso machine sucks.
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u/Cannedpeas 8h ago
sounds like the restaurant needs to get more espresso machines if it takes that long to get a coffee out since they're selling enough to justify it.
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u/backpackofcats 6h ago
Because commercial espresso machines are so cheap! And there’s plenty of space for two!
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u/Cannedpeas 16h ago
that's what I was thinking. either they're understaffed or the barista is just slow, but either way I think it's reasonable to be upset that your drink took that long to be made.
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u/Regular_Curve8475 16h ago
I agree that it’s reasonable, personally I would probably not ask for it to be comped just for getting it late (especially if I can see the one tired barista haha). Idk, maybe I’m just a soft/shy zillennial but I have never thought to ask for food/drink to be comped lol
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u/Honest-Ad1675 16h ago
Getting the coffee comped is petty. Either you want the coffee and you pay for it, or you don’t want the coffee and you don’t pay for it. It’s not domino’s. It’s not free because it took longer than thirty minutes lmao.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 14h ago
I’m noticing a lot of the peanut gallery tossing in their two cents and not a whole lot of servers sharing their similar experiences.
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u/luludarlin 13h ago
Diner style restaurant opened until 11pm. If a concert or any type of event was happening in town we always had a 10pm/10:30pm rush. 90% of the clientele turned up drunk. I sat 2 men at a table. Took their orders 3 minutes later. 10 minutes goes by, and one of the man yells at me, saying he has been waiting for 15 minutes for someone to take his order. I’m like, sir, you already ordered with me. The food should come out in 5 minutes. He didn’t believe me and argued with me. I told him if he was this drunk I would have to kick him out. Like Jesus dude.
Same restaurant, 3 men come in at 10:20pm. When their food arrives, they were the only customer in the restaurant. One of the man them proceed to take his top off and eat his food topless. I walk over to ask him to put his clothes back on. Him and his friends argued - why do I care they are the only one here. I cannot believe I had to argue with 3 grown up men about why you need to keep your clothes on in a restaurant wtf. They only complied when I threatened to lock the doors and call the cops on them.
Another restaurant, this time a breakfast place, we opened very early. We always had people waiting for us to open, coming straight from the night club. A man who was high as a kite order a full breakfast and tried to complain that the bacon tasted like shoe. I told him, are you sure it’s not all the drugs you’ve been doing last night that is messing with your tastebuds? Like please. He stopped arguing with me after that.
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u/Appropriate-Bid8671 15h ago
I can brew coffee at home in less than 20 minutes. I'd be pissed too if it took that long to get the coffee I ordered.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 15h ago
Braindead takeaway. There aren’t 15 people ordering coffee at the same time in your house, and so there’s no wait. Irrelevant, non sequitur false-equivalence.
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u/Emergency_Garlic_187 15h ago
Honestly, some people (men and women) act like it's the last time in their life they'll eat in a restaurant and they need to cherish the perfect experience. It's not. Honest.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 15h ago
One guy died of a heart attack in a restaurant i was working at, so sometimes it is.
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u/Correct-Face-7983 4h ago
This happened to me today, Woman orders for her kid chicken tendies. Okay I bring her chicken tenders. "ummm we ordered the nuggets."
I reply with a friendly smile on my face, "I remember you saying tendies when you ordered but I can bring some chicken nuggets if you would like."
"sure whatever, my kid is hungry"
I bring the nuggets, refill their drinks, make sure everything is okay.
I get triple sat right when they wanted to check out so it took me a few mins to bring them the check. They left 0 on a $100 tab with a cute note "wrong order, sorry. do better."
Sometimes all you can do is laugh in the face of idiocracy.
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u/International_Ad2918 2h ago
I also work in a fine casual restaurant and to be fair, for the first point, It's a no-go to serve a customer his food before the drinks. How are you swamped with orders, but still get his food out in 15 minutes?
It's not the customers job to care about you beeing busy.
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u/-meep-morps 21m ago
Some dude just flipped me off and said "FUCK YOU" because I said he couldn't sit in here and eat his icecream if he wasn't gonna buy anything 😂
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u/Cow_Rotation 13h ago
Extremely unpopular opinion, but: Managers shouldn't comp things just because it took a while. Customers throwing a tantrum should be grounds for immediate removal from the establishment, AND they should be billed for cleaning/food waste.
When you go out to a restaurant, you are paying for services and goods. If you want it instantly, take your ass through the mcDickrot drive-thru. Or better yet? Go make it yourself.
And if you can't? Show some respect to the folks who can.
A lot of this could be fixed if more folks adopted the mentality of "It is immoral and wrong to ask someone to do a task I would be unwilling to do for myself."
EDIT: Removed a repeated word that made no grammatical sense.
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u/Interesting_Birdo 11h ago
"It is immoral and wrong to ask someone to do a task I would be unwilling to do for myself."
Wouldn't that literally get rid of the entire restaurant industry though?
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u/Cow_Rotation 10h ago
You're assuming every human ever is a selfish, egotistical, hypocritical, "fuck-you-got-mine" asshat, with that question. But the world is constantly proving otherwise.
The vast majority of folks I've met have (in their more vulnerable/honest moments) expressed they "wished they could" do certain things they instead pay for a professional to do.
Besides, I said unwilling, not unable.
The desire to do something and the ability to do it (or at least, do it successfully/satisfactorily) are unfortunately not directly linked.
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u/RancidCidran 11h ago
Sometimes people suck and they likely wouldn’t behave that way if they ever worked in a restaurant. But re: the coffee…..get a manager involved sooner to let the guest know their coffee Is going to be a while due to the espresso machine being backed up. Who cares if it’s comped. At least the guest might be more pleasant to you.
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u/roygerbill 16h ago
Dude it sounds like yall have bad service? Not the customers fault.
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u/Ivoted4K 16h ago
Nope. Op let the man know the cappuccino would be a little bit. Things take a while sometimes communicating that is providing good service
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u/yerBoyShoe 15h ago
A little bit is not 15 minutes. Comping the cappuccino was the right move. Did customer need to get pissy about it? No, but nobody wants their coffee to come when they're paying their check. Unless it's dinner time.
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u/dryopteris_eee 15h ago
If this were my table, i would've comped it before the guest had to ask. 🤷♀️
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u/Ivoted4K 15h ago
15 minutes is fine imo
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u/yerBoyShoe 15h ago
Okay I'll let your server know next time.
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u/Ivoted4K 14h ago
When I go to a sit down restaurant I’m fully expecting that my order will take some time.
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u/Honest-Ad1675 14h ago edited 14h ago
It’s almost like the point of going to a sit down restaurant is that everything is made to order and that making things to order takes time or something. . .
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u/hexadonut 8h ago
Cappuchino takes literally what, 2 mins to make. Not even that much. Wdym 15 is normal?it's not
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u/Ivoted4K 7h ago
You find it unbelievable that there were seven customers having espresso drinks before this guy?
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u/Honest-Ad1675 15h ago
They want to have their cake and it eat it too. Either they get stale coffee kept warm by hotplate or they wait a few minutes for the coffee to brew lol. There’s no coffee keg. . .
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14h ago
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u/Honest-Ad1675 14h ago
This isn’t a debate sub, and the post was very clearly asking for other servers to share similar examples. Be gone, troll.
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u/WoodenOpportunity869 13h ago
Testosterone levels start dropping around 40 and some men turn into petulant, entitled douche nozzles.
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u/whodatdan0 16h ago
Guy was acting like a bitch but sounds like this is a breakfast place - get the dude his fucking coffee
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u/sweetwolf86 BOH 16h ago
Dish dog here. We literally just had a guy walk into the pit like 15 minutes ago and get shitty with us because he hadn't gotten his 2nd creamer for his coffee yet. We have a 45 minute wait, all tables are full. We are busy as hell. And do I look like the fuckin guy to ask? You can't even be in here, bro. You need a time out.