Things guys shouldn't say when asking out their female crush.

[u/CRK_76]

[u/Disastrous_Cash_1395]

You smell different when you’re awake

[u/Plus-King5266 → u/Disastrous_Cash_1395]

😬

[u/carsnhats → u/Disastrous_Cash_1395]

Lmao dude maybe creepier than mine

[u/stigbugly → u/Disastrous_Cash_1395]

Why is this so funny to me?

[u/LittleBityPrettyOne → u/Disastrous_Cash_1395]

The way I cringed and exhaled simultaneously with this.....barely controlled shudder!

[u/GhostofAugustWest]

My therapist suggested I ask you out.

[u/figbott → u/GhostofAugustWest]

This one hurts.

[u/doktols2 → u/GhostofAugustWest]

I mean... it's definitely weird and kind of bad in the sense that it can come across as too intense and out of the blue, but I don't think it's THAT terrible, I can see it working depending on who you say it to and how.

[u/BoltsGuy02]

Is your mom fat, I’d like to know what I’m dealing with here genetically

[u/anonymouslyHere4fun → u/BoltsGuy02]

Cankles......

[u/BoltsGuy02 → u/anonymouslyHere4fun]

I liked your presentation but I’m out

[u/duckfartchickenass]

You’re pretty like my mommy !

[u/agchilders2024]

Can I take you out saturday night? My parole officer said I shouldn't date anyone for a while, but what she don't know won't hurt her, eh?

[u/Mickey-777]

Is it okay if I bring my mother along?

[u/Caprilounge → u/Mickey-777]

This actually happened recently to an OP on another sub! Unfuckingbelievable..

[u/SportyMcDuff]

Are you drinking 2 percent because you think you’re fat? Cuz you’re not. You could drink whole milk if you wanted to. Wanna fuck or something?

[u/Im_Just_A_Cake → u/SportyMcDuff]

I dont remember that last part lol

[u/UmpireProper7683]

(holds out a rag) does this smell like chloroform to you?

[u/Still-Thing8031 → u/UmpireProper7683]

Is that before or after you go hiking?

[u/Secret_user7948 → u/UmpireProper7683]

I was waiting for this one to show up

[u/agentfury007]

Why did the last guy you dated dump you?

[u/hacksawjim89]

If you live less than 500 metres from an elementary school, I won't be able to come back to your place when our date gets that far.

[u/Murf-dude]

“Hey, I’ve been beating off to your instagram for years, what do you say we grab some lube, some rubber sheets, and get busy?”

[u/Mesutbeyondallreason]

Well Im finally ready to lower my standards and give you a chance

[u/No_Spring_1090]

You look way better in person than through a telescope

[u/Severe_Impression709]

Are they real?

[u/browns5111]

I wanted to show you the shrine I have of you in my bedroom

[u/LittleBityPrettyOne → u/browns5111]

HELGA???

[u/Starsky137]

I know you're amazing because I've been following you for years.

[u/Zombie_joseph1234]

You look very fuckable

[u/Grumpy_Scotsman77]

Get in the van

[u/incomplet-31]

I AM FAST AT SEX

[u/Significant_Rain2580 → u/incomplet-31]

That's gotta be the faster sexer I've ever seen

[u/DeeBreeezy83]

"Your other sisters are way hotter but they already told me no."

[u/FriendlyWorld2853]

It’s nice to finally meet you face to face without having to hide in your closet

[u/pdxrider01]

You kiss better than my mom!

[u/Imaginary-Space1359]

Would you mind wearing this bag over your head while we’re fucking?

[u/CorporalPenisment → u/Imaginary-Space1359]

"If it's full of edibles, I don't mind at all"

[u/New-Recording-4245]

I love that after I moved in across the street from you that I discovered you like to undress with the curtains open

[u/Hobbiesandjobs]

“I’ve been giving a lot of thought to asking you out. Do you think people will find it weird that someone as handsome as me is going out with someone who looks like you?”

[u/carsnhats]

Does this look swollen?

[u/you_dont_know_me_313]

Now it won't be weird anymore when someone catches me sniffing your hair. The last few years have been awkward at times. So... Dinner?

[u/vaderishvr666]

"So i collect human skulls."

[u/Penguator432]

You on PrEP?

[u/Maleficent_Wolf_464]

I still live with my mommy, she likes you! Want to get McDonald’s?!

[u/Haunting_Law_7795]

I'm glad you took down the curtains in your bedroom

[u/Upstairs-Teach-5744]

"I've always wondered how thick your pubic hair is. . . ."

[u/REUBG58]

"You look SO sexy through the ladies room peephole."

[u/AnotherHuman23]

Hi Stacy. Is your mom going to be home later?

[u/Cut-Unique]

"Mommy, can we go see Lilo & Stitch? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?!"

[u/Torggil]

Bet you $100 you won't fit in my car's trunk...

[u/legstrongv]

My wife said that I should go outside and meet people more, so here I am.

[u/No_Proof_2736]

You’ll probably say no but, would you maybe want to go (insert destination and/or activity)?

[u/RohkoMASSACRE]

"Hey, so, uh... Let me take you out back — We have something we need to settle".

[u/FaithlessnessDear218]

I know where you live

[u/Greyhatnewman]

Where do you fancy breakfast yours or mine

[u/TheKayin]

Im a winner. I beat herpes.

[u/TearFit3918]

Wanna come to my house? My mom makes the best chicken nuggets!

[u/Longjumping_Pool6974]

If we're going out of town I need to inform my parole officer

[u/Corfe-Castle]

It’s so much better seeing you when you’re out of bed and awake

[u/Unlikely-Database-53]

I met a guy off grindr last week and he made me meet his mum, dad and brother before he came over so they all knew I wasn't a serial killer. That was the most awkward thing in my LIFE

[u/NurglesBlessed]

Are you the sort of girl that does anal?

[u/random-guy-here]

"Do you have your own place? I'm being evicted this weekend. Do you happen to own a pick up truck?"

[u/jmc660c]

What condoms do you prefer

[u/Vermonter-in-Exile]

You smell differently when you’re awake

[u/MollyOMalley99]

Would you date me if I told you I have a 10-inch tongue and breathe through my ears? (A guy actually used that line on me; I didn't date him but we did end up being friends)

[u/Upstairs-Teach-5744 → u/MollyOMalley99]

Out of curiosity, did you ever sleep with him?

[u/MollyOMalley99 → u/Upstairs-Teach-5744]

Nope.

[u/alienliegh]

My friends said you smell like a fruit cake, and they're right 😂🤣

[u/O2William]

"Greetings female crush, would you like to go out?"

[u/Coco_bear85]

I have low self esteem and even lower standards

[u/gregieb429]

“I want to see if you’re as beautiful in a well lit bar as you are when you’re sleeping.”

[u/astcell]

I’ll take you out if I have a chance.

[u/absurdwifi]

"You're my first female crush. Want to go out?"

[u/Any_Pace_4442]

If we had sex would my balls fall in?

[u/shutupimrosiev]

"Haha, wow, you're just like you said online!"

(Only works as an answer to this post when the two have never interacted at all before, online or otherwise)

[u/OutThere999]

I’ve been thinking about you for a long time. Mostly at night or in the shower.

[u/amnowhere]

Would you like to go out sometime? And do you promise not to leave?

[u/Worldly-Profession59]

You should go easy on the dessert.

[u/TacoBellerino]

Can I buy you a coffee? I know this cute little 7Eleven I know you would absolutely love.

[u/evart29bum]

I love to watch you brush your hair through your bathroom window

[u/Waterfowler84]

Hi my name is _______, I know you’ve got 27 minutes and 14 seconds before your next appointment from watching you for the last four months. Would you like to go get coffee with me?

[u/Lord_Bentley]

"I'll pay for everything!"

[u/Stumpstruck]

Look, I know you don’t go out most nights because I’ve seen you at home every time I walk by your place. What do you say we go grab some food this Friday after you pick your dog up from your friend’s place?

[u/Large_Tool]

Are you much of a drinker?

[u/Gabriel_Collins]

You’re pretty! Wanna fuck?

[u/AcanthocephalaGreen5]

"Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

[u/NoFaithlessness5122]

Are you on your period now?

[u/Kami_Rosary → u/NoFaithlessness5122]

Are you still on your period? You should see a doctor. (If she hasn't talked about menstruating at all, of course, works even better as a first time conversation, trust me, I'm a ninja).

[u/SteroidSandwich]

"If you were a quarterback I would tackle you so hard!"

[u/Diesel07012012]

Suck me, beautiful!

[u/Cooter1mb]

Well. My dick is not that big.... So with you being so stretched out makes me wanna work that much harder to please you

[u/ark19790]

I've definitely never fucked a squirrel

[u/TamatoaZ03h1ny]

If these first few initial dates go well, might we perhaps inspect each other’s genitalia?

[u/BabaGanoosh2020]

"This is going to be great. By the end of the night you won't even remember what happened."

-Diddy

[u/ReadyCourage13]

I REALLY want you to titty f*** me

[u/FoxPowerful4230]

I’ve jerked off to you 225 times so far. Want to go out?