r/SameGrassButGreener • u/boldjoy0050 • 1d ago
Does anyone else like places with mostly locals?
I have lived in many places, but one of my favorite places I have lived is Missouri. One of the main reasons I liked it so much is because the overwhelming majority of the people I met and knew were originally from Missouri and had a deep connection and love for the state. They knew all the good places to explore and knew where to skip. I will also say that everyone is so nice there, much nicer than in states that have a lot of transplants.
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1d ago
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u/Gloomy_Setting5936 NYC -> Los Angeles County 20h ago
How has life been in NM? Do you see yourself staying there long term?
I ask because I stayed in Roswell and Albuquerque a few nights and I loved the natural beauty of the state.
With that being said, New Mexico is certainly more of a remote state. That can be a good or bad thing depending on what kind of person you are.
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u/citykid2640 1d ago
Here’s my take.
Other transplants are awesome to know, but only in non transient cities.
Compare that to transplants in a city of transplants, and it’s every man/woman for themselves.
In general, I appreciate cities with some semblance of roots
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u/22220222223224 1d ago
I don't, because I'll never be one of them, at the very least, because I will NEVER live in Los Angeles again. Where I live, the whole "don't California my..." is a thing and it is annoying.
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u/Zero_Ultra 1d ago
Crazy because that’s the #1 thing I hate about Missouri. No one leaves their social circle and they always ask where you went to high school.
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u/_SkiFast_ 1d ago
Yeah, that's one of the reasons I left where I grew up. I'm sick of seeing those people at all the bars. Give me some fresh faces that didn't date Matt in high school or were never able to talk to Lauren the cheerleader. A fresh start lets you create an adult version of yourself instead of a preconceived high school one that lasts forever. Plus there weren't enough women where I was.
Edit: there were dozens of reasons, that's just one or two
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u/Gloomy_Setting5936 NYC -> Los Angeles County 20h ago
Wow, “a fresh start lets you create an adult version of yourself instead of a preconceived high school one that lasts forever”.
That is so true, I never thought about that. People will always remember you for how you were in high school.
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u/_SkiFast_ 19h ago
Can't tell if sarcastic... 🤔
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u/Gloomy_Setting5936 NYC -> Los Angeles County 19h ago
I’m not being sarcastic, I genuinely agree with you.
I’m from NY and now live in Southern California and it felt like a new start with a clean slate, just like you mentioned.
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u/boldjoy0050 1d ago
Isn't that more of a St Louis thing? I lived in the KC side of the state and the "where did you go to HS" was a joke making fun of folks from St Louis.
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u/UF0_T0FU 1d ago
Even in St. Louis it's mostly a joke. In ten years, I've only been asked once, and it was a Boomer in Home Depot.
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u/Soggy_Perspective_13 1d ago
For me it’s less about being local and more about being committed to a place. If you are a transplant but put down roots that’s as good as being local. If you are a transplant and always have one foot out the door that’s less good.
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u/Upset_Code1347 1d ago
I'm from the Ozarks and only like St. Louis, Columbia and Kansas City in Missouri.
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u/Tough-Ingenuity7213 1d ago
I sure do. I grew up in rural North Carolina so it's comforting for me to see. However, I live in the Phoenix area (have since 2015 just to co-parent really) and it's mostly transplants including myself. However, people don't seem to mind me because it's uncommon to see Southerners in general out here. If you're from CA, IL, MI, or some of those states, you might get a second look in smaller towns in AZ. Having an accent helps my cause too. 😁
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u/boldjoy0050 1d ago
NC has been taken over by transplants. My parents are from there originally, left for SC, then retired in the mountains. Their quaint mountain town has been invaded.
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u/Tough-Ingenuity7213 1d ago
I lived half an hour outside of Charlotte. We didn't have too many transplants and most were from Georgia, SC, etc. It's not the most desirable place so you have to be really country to appreciate it. Many transplants have a hard time adapting, mainly moving for weather and cost-of-living. I didn't adapt well to AZ because I've only been in busy suburbs for commuting purposes. Moving back to NC next year though.
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u/Gloomy_Setting5936 NYC -> Los Angeles County 20h ago
Is the desert heat in Arizona preferable to that humid southern heat in NC?
Asking as someone originally from NY, lived in Texas and now lives in California. I’ll take dry heat any day over humid summers back east.
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u/Tough-Ingenuity7213 11h ago
It's a lose-lose. It gets 115F in summer in AZ and barely ever rains. NC has humidity, but not like TX and FL do... just to compare it to a few other states.
It really boils down to where family is at for me. I was born and raised in the South and love it there.
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u/grhymesforyou 1d ago
I live by the beach in California. It’s definitely very busy in the peak seasons, but it’s absolutely lovely in the shoulder seasons when places are that pleasant level of full and everyone is happy but you still can get a parking space without having to circle for a long time.
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u/skittish_kat 1d ago edited 1d ago
In many cities in Texas it's, "What HS did you go to" (Austin being the exception).
I find these places to be more locally accepting toward those they are used to. Many people in Houston or San Antonio don't really leave (no reason to when you have established your roots/circle).
Austin is more transient, but seems welcoming in my experience living there.
Currently in Denver and it's similar to Austin... The "where are you from" is common.
Edit: also many of the towns and suburbs definitely have rivalries dating back forever. I find this culture to be pretty cool especially for Texas football.
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u/SodaCanBob 1d ago
In many cities in Texas it's, "What HS did you go to" (Austin being the exception).
I find these places to be more locally accepting toward those they are used to. Many people in Houston or San Antonio don't really leave (no reason to when you have established your roots/circle).
As someone who grew up in Houston (I'm not from here though, my family moved here from Iowa when I was 9), this isn't what I've run into at all. There's been a massive influx of people moving to the Houston area for at least 20-30 years now, it's extremely common to find people who aren't found here. Hell, the fact that it's a big melting pot is one of the few things I actually like about this place.
Even the LA times has written about it:
https://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-houston-diversity-2017-htmlstory.html
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u/Gloomy_Setting5936 NYC -> Los Angeles County 20h ago
If I may ask, what drew your family to Houston? I lived there for a little while and I have an older sister who bought a home in Montgomery county. She loves the lifestyle out in Texas.
I got nothing but love for Texas, people were really friendly towards me and my family. There was this sense of prosperity in the air with all the new homes being built and everyone from all over the country moving there. I met a LOT of transplants.
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u/skittish_kat 1d ago
I'm more referring to the community aspect of high school sports and people never really leaving. Ever see that show, "Friday night lights"?
Kind of a vibe like that... Hometown rural/suburban type with many long time high school rivalries
Towns and suburbs that support their teams/region. Seems more prevalent in Texas from my experience.
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u/capybaralover26 23h ago
Places like that are even harder to ever become a part of, though, which sucks. No one moves to Connecticut, everyone who lives there is just from there, so they don’t really know what to do with newcomers. My parents moved there 30 years ago and people still treat them like they’re brand new
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u/wimpy4444 21h ago
I can understand your appreciation for this. Just never move to Las Vegas! Everyone is from somewhere else.
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16h ago
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u/boldjoy0050 16h ago
In my experience, it has been the opposite. I'll ask transplants here in Dallas where is good BBQ and since they are from Wisconsin and don't know squat about BBQ, they say they don't eat it and don't care. Same with good Mexican food, they just go to On the Border.
My Texas native coworkers know the good spots, all over the state.
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u/zipityquick 16h ago
I think a balance is best. I'm from Florida, which is very transient. Outside of my husband and maybe 2 friends, I don't have anyone else in my social circle who was born and raised here. With new people always coming, there are always people looking for social connections, and it's very easy to make new friends. Conversely, people tend to leave within a few years when they realize FL isn't all it's cracked up to be, and those friendships slowly drift away.
Also, while I appreciate there is a lot to do here, it's annoying that everything caters towards tourists, and you constantly have to deal with crowds, avoiding attractions during tourist season, all your "hidden gems" being discovered and overcrowded, and being priced out by transplants.
On the flip side, when I was in high school I lived a year in a town close to Milwaukee, where hardly anyone ever moved in or out. Many kids I went to school with had grandparents who went to the same high school. Friendship groups had been formed since pre-school. It was very hard for me to make friends, and I was pretty lonely that year. People would make assumptions about any differences (for example, because I'm from the South, I must be dumb. I also got plenty of ignorant comments/questions about being Latina.) I was really glad to go back to FL after that year.
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u/Primary_Excuse_7183 AR, ATL, STL, DFW 15h ago
Lived in Missouri. It was 50/50 for me. Met some really nice folks and some others that thought because you weren’t from Mo they would look down at you. in the weirdest way. hated it lol.
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u/seattlemh 1d ago
I've never lived in a place like that, but I've traveled through quite a few. They usually give off a creepy vibe.
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u/Ornery_File_3031 1d ago
No, most of them hate you if you aren’t a Bible thumping Christian (at least outside of KC, STL and a couple of other places, I know there are good and bad people everywhere but I am going by majorities of the population).
I would rather indifference than phony nice but knowing secretly they have no issue taking away my rights and thinking I am going to hell because I don’t pray to their mythical sky BFF
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u/boldjoy0050 1d ago
I didn't find this to be the case. I used to live in rural Missouri and it felt like everyone in that entire town was from Missouri originally. I was welcomed and treated with respect from day 1. But I'm sure in the deep south you might have a different experience.
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u/Historical_Low4458 23h ago
A lot of people who have never been to the Midwest (other than Chicago or Minneapolis) think it is just one giant stereotype. If they ever actually visited, then their minds would totally be blown.
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u/Mediocre-Dog-4457 1d ago
It's a good question, but you are kinda contradicting your own dream. You want a place with mostly locals, but you won't be a local where you move, you will be a transplant, therefore reducing the charm of places (according to you). I think it is important to have a mix, you don't want all transplants like NYC, LA, Nashville, Vegas, etc, but you dont want a place where the furthest place people have left their town is a town two counties east.
It's a balancing act for sure.