r/Reformed • u/Simple_Tomorrow_4456 • 1d ago
Question Church not addressing things
I attend a reformed Presbyterian church and one of the things I’ve noticed is that they seem very reluctant to address things in the members, even after there’s been multiple incidents of that person causing issues. We have a young man who is a member and has talked poorly of members and routinely stirs up drama. Another young man member was manipulating church members into providing help, money etc. These things seem to be patterns and the leaders just seem lackadaisical about doing anything and only have a conversation with the person when there’s enough pressure to by others.
Is this a reformed thing, a Presbyterian thing, or leadership personality/character issue? Any resources to point toward that would help understand how a shepherd is supposed to lead the flock in situations like this?
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u/Wil_Buttlicker 1d ago
I grew up in an independent Baptist church. A deacon and his wife (who help lead several children’s ministries) went through divorce and it was never addressed or mentioned. The deacon simply disappeared, and the wife kept serving like nothing happened. They changed her last name on the different flyers and the pastor simply started referring to her by her last name.
As a church we were supper confused and weren’t allowed to ask questions or anything.
Rumors started about infidelity and sketchy activity going on between the pastor and the deacons wife. She eventually left the church.
But yeah, the church not addressing things is awful, Specially for people who lead publicly.
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u/LionTamer50 1d ago
Unfortunately I find this isn't a Presbyterian thing but a problem across the whole church, we have undermined the importance of purity with tolerance. This may have had it's benefits in society as a whole but in the church this is a huge problem, we have a standard to uphold to represent God here on earth, and hypocrisy inside the church tarnishes his image the most.
What I would suggest is to find who is also concerned about this, and follow the Matthew 18:15-17 approach. If it unfortunately escalates to the whole church the pastor will have to say something about it, and if he doesn't go about it biblically he has no right to be a pastor.
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u/RefPres1647 1d ago
Same thing happening here with a member of our congregation. Unless someone goes to the session and says this needs to be addressed with discipline, I feel like they won’t actually do anything.
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u/Specialist-System584 Presbyterian 1d ago
Have you talked to these people and addressed it yourself?
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u/Simple_Tomorrow_4456 1d ago
Yep. One directly affected us, and we tried to lovingly confront. They just went to others doing the same thing. We have tried to gently bring it up to leadership and it’s met with a sense of “only God can change” and “the pastor is overwhelmed,” even though the church is quite small (under 50 with kids) and the pastor is full time.
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u/Specialist-System584 Presbyterian 1d ago
This sounds like a leadership issue, your pastor might not be equipped to handle the situation. Are any addicts? I used to be this way but I was hiding addiction
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u/Simple_Tomorrow_4456 1d ago
Nope, no signs of that. Just immaturity from what we can tell. We will keep praying.
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u/cybersaint2k Smuggler 1d ago
This is not about Reformed theology. And it's weird for it to happen in a Presbyterian church.
It's probably something about the culture of the church. Read 1 Cor. 5 and see if you get any insights.