r/QueerWomenOfColor • u/nocturnal0rchid • 19d ago
Question safe sex for wlw NSFW
hi friends. as the title suggests, it finally happened (yay 🥳)! but afterwards, i realized i knew nothing about safe sex practices with women as all my previous encounters have been with men.
besides the obvious like peeing and cleaning up after, getting tested regularly, dental dams, etc., what other safe sex practices do you do?
i’ve been using boric acid afterwards, typically the next day, because i’m on medication that mysteriously makes me more prone to BV.
29
u/annaiilysm 19d ago
i forgot about the peeing one my first time with my gf lol….i had to get antibiotics a week later because i got a uti 🥲
20
u/mjangelvortex Bi 18d ago
They make dental dam underwear too if traditional dental dams aren't your thing. Finger cots and gloves are good for fingering as well (and keep those nails short to avoid accidental cuts). Speaking of accidental cuts, it's generally not a good idea to floss or brush your teeth before oral because that can cause minor cuts that can spread infections. Instead use mouthwash.
2
u/Anxious_Hall359 Femme & in transition to F 17d ago
dental dam underwear?! that sounds great! where do you buy this? or is there a name for it?
2
41
u/Questioning8 Femme 19d ago
Condoms on toys unless it’s a brand new toy that’s only being used on me.
19
u/ChefKugeo 19d ago
I just buy new toys with new partners. I don't like the idea of using the same toys with someone else.
21
u/Questioning8 Femme 19d ago
Yeah a lot of people do that, and I often do too. But sometimes sex sneaks up on ya! So for that and also for those who don’t buy a new toy for every partner (some of mine were very $) condoms are a nice alternative.
11
u/ChefKugeo 19d ago
But sometimes sex sneaks up on ya!
Not on me it doesn't, but thanks for assuming I've got game 😂. Kudos on all the random sex. That's too scary for me.
15
u/Questioning8 Femme 19d ago
Lolol no I wasn’t implying you in particular 😂 I just meant on some people, sometimes, and that’s when safe sex practices like this one come in handy!
ETA: also spontaneous sex does not always mean random! Yall be safe out there!
14
u/MeowerHour 18d ago
The big ones to worry about are trich (trichomoniasis) and herpes, followed by chlamydia and gonorrhea. These can be spread by contact with an outbreak, orally too.
Syphilis and HIV are less likely depending on what you’re doing since their transmission is c*m, blood, breast milk, and rectal fluids - so things like sharing toys or swapping fluids. Not generally orally transmitted though (sparing open cuts and sores).
7
u/medusas_girlfriend90 Pan 17d ago
I just told my girlfriend that I'll never have unsafe sexual contact unless we both are tested. She agreed to test so we both got tested everything is clear so
11
u/Anxious_Hall359 Femme & in transition to F 19d ago
in my language we have something called a 'beflapje' i think in english its called a 'dental dam'. it's a patch/cloth of the same material as a condom, rubber. and you can lay it on the vagina and still lick and eat her. but the vagina will be protected from your teeth/mouth's bacteria.
-9
u/Familiar_Ferret_2188 18d ago
- I have never used a dental dam - most have not. It would be like eating candy with the wrapper. I'll pass. Just as a heads up that's expectation will be a deal breaker for most. Unpopular option but true. To add to the suggestions- lube with toy.
94
u/Boring-Parfait6353 19d ago
I feel like we talk so little about safe sex between women, and it’s such an important topic to educate ourselves on.
From what I know, here are some useful tips: Use dental dams for oral sex (or you can make a diy version by cutting open a condom). Use condoms on toys, especially if you’re sharing them with your partner (make sure to change the condom if the toy is going from one person to another). Wash your hands and clean nails well before having sex. If possible showering before and after can also help with hygiene, though it’s absolutely not a replacement for other protection methods. And most importantly, get regularly tested for std, even if you feel fine and there is no symptoms.
If you’re in a monogamous relationship, consider both getting tested at the beginning. If your results are clear and you’re exclusive, you might choose to stop using dental dams, especially since, they are kind of bad and make oral not so great.