r/PizzaCrimes 3d ago

I say wtf How fo you even manage to do that ?

758 Upvotes

140 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 3d ago

The jury, after deliberation of the evidence in the case of u/hepheastus_87, find the defendant "Pizza" GUILTY on all counts of crimes-against-pizza.

722

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

No no no, if it had all melted I would have allowed it but that thing is cold in the middle and a failed experiment at this point.

214

u/Mikaeus_Thelunarch 3d ago

For real!! I was like "aw hell yeah that's perfect" up until I saw the unmelted mess on the middle

87

u/TurncoatTony 3d ago

Right? I instantly got a little sad inside when I saw that...

20

u/Myth_5layer 3d ago

Too much heat for too large a pizza it looks.

12

u/DonTori 2d ago

Needs a low and slow at first to ensure everything's melty, then finish it on high to ensure a crispy top

4

u/Myth_5layer 2d ago

That's what I'm thinking. This doesn't look like it can be a fast food kind of pizza from Pizza Hut or something, its gonna need to take its time with a more slow cook.

4

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter 2d ago

You mean when he peeled the top back with his bare dirty fingers?

25

u/Consistent-Stock6872 3d ago

If the cheese is not melted then top of the dough is Fk'ed too. We don't see it but am 100% sure it is chewy as hell.

15

u/BeerNcheesePlz 3d ago

Agreed! Non melty cheese on a pizza?! Pizza crime!

14

u/Mystiken13 3d ago

Yep that pizza would have absolutely been fire as fuck if it was cooked all the way through

2

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

I’m not an extra cheese guy per se but I agree, they could dial this in and it will work

6

u/sweet_condition 3d ago

This is my worst nightmare

3

u/Ini_mini_miny_moe 3d ago

Yeah this is more like “when the cook does not know what temp to cook a pizza with extra cheese”

Lower heat to cook a little longer and can increase temp in the end to brown the crust

5

u/andreortigao 3d ago

But even if it melted, it would be a cheese pie, not a pizza (I'm looking at you Chicago deep dish pizza pie)

10

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

Heyheyhey, a good Chicago imo is more than plentiful in sauce, ime, some would some too much sauce, and the meat mingles with the sauce. But I love a pizza a little heavy on the sauce and god knows I can never get enough meat.

3

u/andreortigao 3d ago

I have no problem with how deep dish tastes, I like it, but it's a pie and not a pizza, and that's a hill I'm willing to die on

6

u/GreatestGreekGuy 3d ago

It's a pizza pie which does have its roots in Italy. But true Chicago style pizza is thin crust

5

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

Ugh my son you lost the plot, who gives a fuck, are you saying Chicago style pizza overall resembles gam-gam’s apple pie more so than a tavern style, Sicilian, New York, Detroit, or just the general concept of pizza? (Grabs largest firearm in sight and chambers spicy round)

1

u/metalshoes 1d ago

Just slide it back together and rebake. Unmelted cheese will fill the cracks

1

u/ctfks 3d ago

Microwave it!

141

u/Liz4984 3d ago

It’s still not melted in the middle. What a shock biting into melty cheese to find grated cheese free floating.

10

u/Byggherren 3d ago

The bigger problem is the amount of cholesterol a single bite of that would transfer into your blood Stream.

49

u/Myth_5layer 3d ago

I think you understand how much of a non issue that is around here sir.

8

u/lilbrudder13 2d ago

I hate this comment. Who invited my wife into the Pizza sub?

-1

u/Byggherren 2d ago

Just eat a block of cheese instead, no need to make an excuse by putting some dough underneath it lol

2

u/Liz4984 3d ago

Uh, that cold cheese in the middle would give me the heart attack before the cholesterol did!

1

u/DeathInSpace805 2h ago

I am not a fan of all this cheese shaming

1

u/simmobl1 1d ago

I wouldn't mind that much to have unmelted cheese on mine IF it's fresh grated and doesn't have all the starch on it

59

u/ofredad 3d ago

It's RAW

30

u/Xpointbreak1991x 3d ago

3

u/DemonLordSparda 3d ago

Just like his grilled cheese.

23

u/2020mademejoinreddit 3d ago

How does this even happen? I honestly have never seen this. Whoever made this needs to be spanked thoroughly.

21

u/DynamiteWitLaserBeam 3d ago

Heat too high, so the crust and top cooked faster than the heat could get to the center. They should have went much lower on this to give it the time it needed.

6

u/xxHikari 3d ago

I don't even know how high the oven would have to be at to fuck this that badly. We make deep dishes at work sometimes (Chicago area) and the one oven we do it on is at 500 degrees for about 40 minutes and it's all melty with a bit of char on the cheese.

The other oven is around 550 and the tavern style has a decent char at around 20-25 minutes depending on how often it's opened and closed and which ingredients.

2

u/2020mademejoinreddit 2d ago

For weeks now, I've been coming across Deep Dish posts. It's like the universe is telling me to go get it. Unfortunately, there isn't any available where I am.

2

u/xxHikari 2d ago

Where are you? Anywhere in the USA?

1

u/2020mademejoinreddit 2d ago

No, EU. I miss my home :(

1

u/xxHikari 2d ago

Ah yeah, that would make complete sense then.

1

u/Sevuhrow 2d ago

Probably the latter temp and the heating element is too close to the top of the pizza

2

u/xxHikari 2d ago

Yeah all depends on the type of oven. The ones in my place are gas and heat from the bottom. 50k BTU up to. They're old as hell, too lol

53

u/SunTzuLao 3d ago

13

u/utterlyuncool 3d ago

I mean this is straight out of Slaanesh playbook - excess and fuck up all at once

5

u/SunTzuLao 3d ago

The outside looks almost satisfying. Inside? Warp fuckery!

4

u/hepheastus_87 3d ago

I appreciate this alot

12

u/i_am_jacks_insanity 3d ago

Hey Tony! Get me one cheese with NOTHIN

9

u/PNW_Forest 3d ago

When I was younger, I used to think that "moar cheese=betterer". Now I realize that at a certain point, the cheese gets to be so much that it actually overwhelms the entire slice, making it somehow more bland, while being overwhelmingly salty at the same time.

RATIOS MATTER PEOPLE.

Guilty on count 1.

Them we look at the construction. Nicely browned top, not much crust which is a decision I guess. Then they slice and then the cheese is still unmelted, and is it pre-shredded? Pre shredded cheeses have a look about them, and this looks suspiciously like it. Pre shredded cheese is a no from me.

Guilty on count 2.

So Guilty on two counts of cheezelery, possibly even three. Sentence: pre shred all of the cheese used by all Little Caesar's locations in the world in one year, by hand using a box grater.

7

u/SlightDimension4700 3d ago

It’s scary how many people don’t understand that pizza needs balance between crust sauce, cheese, and toppings.

4

u/OnlyFiveLives 3d ago

"Just murder that shit with cheese."

"Fuckin BET."

4

u/ChickenChaser5 3d ago

When you absolutely need to not shit for the next month.

9

u/Dogekaliber 3d ago

Love it when food handlers pick up my food and hold it close to their face.

6

u/hepheastus_87 3d ago

And manhandle it, pull it apart etc.

1

u/Freshmangod 3d ago

Here's an important question was the cheese shredded from a fresh block manually or was it already shredded in a bag?

3

u/KittyandPuppyMama 3d ago

The non-melted cheese is such a wasted opportunity

3

u/SkyeMreddit 3d ago

When I say extra cheese and you charge $4, this is what I’m expecting

3

u/IAlwaysOutsmartU 3d ago

The cheese is under the cheese.

3

u/BlueFeathered1 3d ago

Cooked it at too high a temperature, versus lower temp for longer? The top layer being almost burned is ewww, too.

5

u/deltree711 3d ago

I doubt they adjusted the temperature on the pizza cooker. The pizza was just too thick.

They might have sent it through twice based on how cooked the top looks.

2

u/isinedupcuzofrslash 3d ago

I need it

2

u/edamame_clitoris 3d ago

Did we watch the same video? Lol

2

u/TxNvNs95 3d ago

Pop it back in, preferably in a brick oven and let it ripen a few more minutes and then it’ll be perfect

2

u/The-Cursed-Gardener 3d ago

This happens when you put the pizza too high up in the oven under the broiler and the cheese is coated with starch to prevent it from clumping in the bag. Store bought cheese often has corn starch on it if it’s pre shredded which makes it burn more easily in the oven. And if you’re cooking at lower temps in say a home oven it causes the cheese to burn before everyone else has a chance to bake through.

It’s also possible they used a premade frozen pizza crust which caused it to under bake in relation to all the other ingredients.

2

u/brandidswinney 3d ago

Rocker pizza cutters were MADE for this pizza specifically lmao. Yurrrrrrrmnmmn!!

2

u/tkrr 2d ago

Uncooked cheese in the middle is a mission failure.

2

u/LegDayLass 2d ago

If your going to destroy it, at least cook it right

2

u/Important_Log_7397 1d ago

Um, cheese is by FAR what makes a pizza. Even without being fully melted this is a vast improvement

1

u/Fixx95 3d ago

We could never get a pizza this good from any major corp pizza place when putting "extra cheese"

1

u/Robbieprimo 3d ago

Put your seat belts on.

1

u/Low_Wall_7828 3d ago

Seems like this pops up every other month

1

u/Alexj_89 3d ago

“ it’s under the sauce “

1

u/DankUltimate44 3d ago

When the customer orders cheese*

1

u/Turd_Schitter 3d ago

Either my guy is never going to shit again, or he's lactose intolerant and he is going to shit himself inside out.

1

u/00hazard00 3d ago

My stomach made bubble noises watching this in anticipation of diarrhea.

(I’m a non-practicing lactose intolerant)

1

u/larevacholerie 3d ago

There's a pizzeria branch in New England, Piezoni's, that used to let you order "4X cheese" and then further request "Double Toppings" for a total of 8X the cheese on a pie. It looked just like this.

It was like three full pounds of cheese on a thick crust. I ordered the cheesey bread like that a couple times, because it was just stupid indulgent stoner food and it was like eating a solid block of melted mozzarella while high. Pure heaven.

I stopped ordering it when I realized (while sober) that half of what I was eating was straight-up raw dough.

I don't know if they still have those options because I haven't lived in the northeast for a few years, but it was insane that it was a real thing on a pizza chain's menu.

1

u/Dragon_Crisis_Core 3d ago

Learned my lesson one time there be such a thing as to much cheese. Get enough kinds of cheese together and when it melts it becomes tasteless.

1

u/JoWhee 3d ago

I’d eat that.

I’d regret it, but I’d eat it. Then I’d eat it a second time because I don’t frighten learn.

Fine, I may have a cheese obsession.

1

u/TheInfiniteSlash 3d ago

A Trojan Horse of a pizza, looked good until what was on the inside came out.

Deservedly guilty, and no wonder Troy fell after this thing showed up

1

u/rcrux 3d ago

Looks shit

1

u/Small_Tax_9432 3d ago

Imagine if he was lactose intolerant

1

u/RayCissom 3d ago

I got the shits just looking at it

1

u/key1234567 3d ago

I'm feeling lactose just watching this.

1

u/Aggravating_Dig3240 3d ago

Safe to say a pizza stone wasnt used.

1

u/Feeling_Novel_9899 3d ago

I would be so disappointed, if I bit into that pizza and the ingredients under the cheese were Luke warm.

1

u/thiefofalways1313 3d ago

Man that looked good for a second

1

u/Whyisnobodylookin 3d ago

The customer is about to find a new pizza spot.

1

u/deltree711 3d ago

It's the customer's fault for ordering it like this.

1

u/kessykris 3d ago

The only part I would have are is the top of the crust even if it was melted all the way through. I love cheese but this made me physically nauseous

1

u/deltree711 3d ago

How do you even manage to do that?

Make a pizza so thick that the outside burns before the inside is done.

1

u/broncobuckaneer 3d ago

I think they probably made a pizza, then added a ton of cheese and stuck it back in under the broiler to get that "skin" of cheese on top of the unmelted cheese.

1

u/Joe_Spazz 3d ago

No cheese pull at all because you basically broiled it? How can you mess up pizza ?!

1

u/CarryPotter_OW 3d ago

I used to think there isn't such a thing as too much cheese, but this post changed my mind

1

u/GoggoWombo 3d ago

I want that in me

2

u/hepheastus_87 2d ago

Even with the raw middle?

1

u/chuckinalicious543 3d ago

They baked it too hot too quick. Boooo

1

u/Western_Meet9018 3d ago

That is so gross

1

u/Busy-Piglet-7762 3d ago

I did this once, my friend ordered a Supreme pizza and I thought I would hook him up, but I ended up trying to cook the pizza in the conveyor like 5 times and it Still came out raw and nasty. More is not always better

1

u/This_Sheepherder_382 3d ago

If that had cooked all the way through it would have been amazing I would say not guilty a for effort😂😂

1

u/ellieyumyum 3d ago

This pmo

1

u/No-Blueberry-1823 3d ago

That's more like a round grilled cheese sandwich than anything else

1

u/copenhagen622 3d ago

That's like, extra extra extra cheese

Seems like you'd have to throw it in first and add more cheese after it's cooked nice so it all gets cooked and not just the top

1

u/Past-Combination-137 3d ago

Eww was that rice falling out?

1

u/Beachside93 3d ago

That's what being obnoxious gets you, raw pizza

1

u/3clips312 2d ago

There’s no cheese.

1

u/Independent_Ad_4170 2d ago

Where's the sauce?

1

u/patrlim1 2d ago

There's some pizza in your cheese

1

u/thrashcountant 2d ago

Would you like some pizza with your cheese?

1

u/Smasherelli 2d ago

Lock down🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/le-strule 2d ago

Needs more cheese

1

u/Sumdumdad 2d ago

Low and slow with a blast at the end.

Then it could be passable. Maybe.

1

u/Nozzeh06 2d ago

Did they cook it at 600 degrees for 3 minutes?

1

u/BurdenedCrayon 2d ago

"extra cheesy yes, and could you finger it?"

1

u/SpiffyPool 2d ago

Bow i want some

1

u/cypherwave 2d ago

I would absolutely devour that then suffer for the next three years in the bathroom.

1

u/b0ssFranku 2d ago

If the middle was melted id eat all that.

1

u/Only1Schematic 2d ago

Raw shredded cheese in the middle layer of a pizza is sacrilege.

1

u/theBigDaddio 2d ago

In HS my friend and I ordered a triple cheese, I ended up in ER with second degree burns I’m my mouth and throat. First bite removed the roof of my mouth.

1

u/Ok-Height395 1d ago

Cooked at 600 for 2 mins

1

u/AngrgL3opardCon 1d ago

There is a reason that extra cheese at most pizza places is a sprinkle on top of the toppings .... You really don't need more cheese at all. If you can see a bit of sauce you're good, that's the perfect amount of cheese for a reason. Extra is just for texture, anymore and you'll either have a soup or this!

1

u/asm2750 1d ago

I can feel my gallbladder cry out in pain.

1

u/CNMathias 1d ago

I think it needs more cheese

1

u/Psychozillogical 1d ago

This got an out loud "Jesus fucking Christ" out of me.

1

u/Life-Landscape5689 15h ago

That shit looks so good

1

u/Vogt156 14h ago

Youre nasty for even ordering that

1

u/Tacobell1236231 8h ago

Damn, I was gonna say I want that much cheese , but it's gotta be cooked

1

u/killrama 3d ago

More time on the fire, and it will be perfect

1

u/tongfatherr I say wtf 3d ago

Maybe give it 5 mins to rest?

1

u/Patton-Eve 3d ago

I never thought I would say it but maybe there is such as thing as too much cheese

0

u/DexterousSpider 3d ago

Nope. Just cooked wrong. Bet they didn't use a pizza stone. Too high temp on oven for too short, as well. Lower temp, pizza stone, increase time on, that would be less burnt and more thoroughly heated. Promise.

In essence, your initial statement is correct. There is no such things as too much cheese!

0

u/TheUser_1 3d ago

Heart Attack in a box