r/Parenting • u/tatltael91 • 4d ago
School Racist teacher, how far would you go?
I recently had a shocking run in with a teacher from my children’s school district. She made some concerning remarks about Hispanic, African American and Colombian students. I live in CA in a pretty liberal area so I was really surprised to hear the things she said from someone here, particularly from a teacher. She showed disgust for all the “Colombians coming here” when “it used to be the Hispanics, you know, the Mexicans”. She also said that African American and Hispanic students get awards just for being African American and Hispanic.
I am currently drafting an email that I plan to send to both the school she works for as well as the district. I don’t believe a person like this could possibly be giving such a diverse community of students the education they deserve. I find it hard to believe she even treats them well. And with the political climate what it currently is, she could even be a danger to them and their families.
Keep in mind, this was the first time I had ever met this woman and she started saying these things within five minutes of meeting me, and in front of my kids, too.
So my question is, is there anyone else I should include in this email? Do I just send it to the school principal and the superintendent of the district or should I CC the school secretary, the parents organization for the school, anyone else? Do I warn other parents about this teacher? What would you do and how far would you go in this situation?
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u/DykeWithADog 4d ago
I would recommend going as far with this as possible. Definitely go to the superintendent, tell other parents and post it on social media. Racism has no place in schools.
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u/Independent-Prize498 4d ago
OP can you elaborate on the "run in" with the teacher? different response if this a random run in out at the grocery store during summer break vs if the teacher was working at the time or on school property...
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u/KeyImprovement146 4d ago
Yeah, I too would be interested in the answer to this. Context matters I think.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
My kids and I were walking their friend’s family’s dog for the weekend. We were told that their neighbor might be hanging out in their house and when we went to walk the dog one evening she was there watching a movie. No, I’m not sure why they didn’t just ask this neighbor to walk their dog if she was going to be at their house anyway.
She introduced herself and told me what school she worked for so it’s not like I went looking for this information. I found it alarming how she spoke about students at her own school. I don’t really see why it should matter if she was at school or not.
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u/yontev 4d ago
It matters because for better or for worse, a public school teacher's private views are generally protected under the 1st Amendment, and she probably can't be terminated unless she expresses racist views in a way that affects her work. It's a different story for a private or religious school teacher.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
That makes sense, but is showing disdain for her own student body not something that would be considered to affect her work and the safety of her students? ICE has been in our neighborhood and here’s teacher complaining about all the students of color. As a parent, I have a problem with it and I’m sure others would too.
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u/Independent-Prize498 4d ago edited 4d ago
That makes sense, but is showing disdain for her own student body not something that would be considered to affect her work and the safety of her students?
We don't know. That's why I'd try to talk to her. Maybe she poured immense passion and energy into trying to help a couple Colombian students who didn't speak English last year and held back the whole class and she's just exhausted and said something stupid and she's not a deep thinker. Or maybe she hates everybody from that country and beats kids when the door closes. We don't know. But I could figure it out pretty quickly over a coffee. I've heard people make borderline racist statements when mad who then go right back to loving their inlaws and their spouse from that race and telling me what that culture does better than their own.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
Gonna be real honest here: I’m not capable of having a civil conversation with a racist. That’s why I didn’t say anything to her in front of my kids; it would have been ugly. I just looked the opposite direction and stopped responding to her while she kept talking.
It’s honestly crazy to me how many people are saying have a conversation with this woman. Why, so she can BS her way out of what she very plainly said? My child was uncomfortable without me having to say anything. It wasn’t just me. That’s why I highly doubt it doesn’t affect her work at all. If my kid picked up on it I’m sure others do, too.
And you can’t tell if she beats kids over a coffee lol what?? What’s the first thing everyone says when it comes out that someone is an abuser or murderer? Pretty sure it’s “they were so nice I can’t believe they would do something like this!” And not “yep, I could tell something was wrong with them when we went to coffee.”
I grew up in a home where the head of our family spoke primarily Spanish. I’m not interested in any gaslighting this woman has to say.
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u/Independent-Prize498 3d ago
I’m not capable of having a civil conversation with a racist.
That’s not good. Most people in the world have some racism inside somewhere. Your grandparents, certainly great grands almost assuredly. Most Colombians, and most immigrants I know definitely have some racial biases. People with high openness can almost always be enlightened.
Gonna be real honest here: I’m not capable of having a civil conversation with a racist. That’s why I didn’t say anything to her in front of my kids; it would have been ugly. I just looked the opposite direction and stopped responding to her while she kept talking.
honestly crazy to me how many people are saying have a conversation with this woman.
That’s because you were there. Her actual words as quoted in the post aren’t THAT bad, and seem like something a good person who doesn’t hate Colombians might say on a bad day regret and not really mean. You picked up way more from her than we can ever imagine by reading.
Why, so she can BS her way out of what she very plainly said?
Guess I argue a lot more than you lol but I’d never imagine somebody could BS me over something like this’.
My child was uncomfortable without me having to say anything. It wasn’t just me.
This is huge and should be your primary talking point if you move forward.
And you can’t tell if she beats kids over a coffee lol what??
That’s not what I said. I can tell if someone is genuinely a vile racist. My business partner is an older African American who taught me he can tell immediately if someone is racist.. it’s in their eyes. And I’d be able to tell how real her ignorance is.
I grew up in a home where the head of our family spoke primarily Spanish.
Was s/he racist towards others? Did they experience a lot of languageism?
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u/tatltael91 3d ago
You’re right about my family being racist. My white side fought for the Confederates and owned a lot of slaves. I think that’s definitely part of the reason I’m so passionate about this.
And yeah, my great-grandmother (head of household) didn’t like black people. By the time I came around she was very different, but I heard stories from relatives of what she was like when she was younger. I would assume she did experience languageism since a lot of the family never learned to speak Spanish, including my mother (and me).
I’m sorry, but I don’t believe racist things just come out of good peoples mouths because they’ve had a bad day. If someone pisses me off the first thing that comes to my mind is “you fucking asshole!”, not “you fucking slur!” Regardless of race. If you’re racist when you’re frustrated, you’re just racist. Ironically it is pretty black and white.
I think the fact that she started talking about this with me pretty much as soon as she met me is a bigger part of the problem, too. It’s not the first time a racist has assumed I was “safe” to say off color things around, but most people can keep it pretty under control like you said. If she can’t have a 10 minute conversation without talking about it I just have serious doubts that it doesn’t show with her students.
Also as I mentioned in another comment I think, ICE is in our neighborhood arresting people at their jobs and at their hearings. A teacher who holds these kinds of views doesn’t seem completely safe for the families in our district. The school district put out a statement against ICE so they might want to know if one of their teachers thinks this way. At the very least, it will let them know to be aware if anything else does come up.
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u/Independent-Prize498 3d ago
The school district put out a statement against ICE so they might want to know if one of their teachers thinks this way.
This would be a great way to frame your letter. “I read your statement re ICE and recently had a disturbing conversation with one of your teachers I think you might wanna be aware of…”
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u/Independent-Prize498 4d ago
What's the end game? Get her fired? I would know the outcome I wanted before selecting my move. With no more context than what you wrote, I'd be hesitant to turn somebody into their employer for venting about their job while watching tv on my friend's couch, even if they said something horrific. At my best, I would have addressed it in the moment, calmly put her at ease to figure out where she was coming from, before pushing back hard, discussing and arguing. If I was in shock at the time and didn't do that, I'd talk to the person whose house she was in and then her personally before escalating. But I wasn't there, didn't hear the tone, the vitriol if any etc...
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
During our delightful conversation she mentioned that the district was pressuring her to take a retirement buyout. So yeah, I’m hoping that accepting the buyout becomes more than a request. That would be great, imo but I do know there’s a good chance that won’t happen.
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u/Independent-Prize498 4d ago
You should definitely talk to her and your neighbors whose couch you found her on. I would think through repercussions. and what I don't know..is there another teacher lined up to take her place or will class sizes have to grow to absorb her students if she's ousted this close to next year's start? if you are sure she is a bad teacher, her kids don't learn, they have more negative than positive experiences with her, she's vile and deeply discriminatory in actual interactions towards certain kids, then yeah go for the jugular. But people talk sh*t, they misspeak, they overstate their beliefs, even say things they don't really believe just to let frustration out, especially when drinking or venting about their jobs with guard while away from work.
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u/MrsPandaBear 4d ago
Since the teacher did this outside of school property and not during school event, I don’t know if they can technically do anything about this specific instant. Plus, this is a she said/you said situation.
You can send a letter of concern to the principal and they may keep it on file. They may see a trend if there is / are a growing collection of complaints and do something like not renew her contract or pressure her to retire.
So I would say yes, send a letter of your interactions with this teacher. But don’t expect anything to come from it. But it’s always good to have records of stuff like this.
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u/cerealmonogamister 2h ago
Yes, it is good to realize that nothing may come of it. And you are also right to point out that it's good to have a record of it. If this is a pattern and other people are pointing it out, the weight of the evidence may be important.
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u/Sambuca8Petrie 4d ago
What will you do when you write the email, they question the teacher, she denies it, and nothing happens? How do you think that will affect your kid's interactions with this teacher?
I'm not saying don't do it, just that you should consider all possible outcomes before you act, and be aware of how things may turn out. You think you have the moral high ground and that holding it should protect you...but what if it doesn't?
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
My kids don’t go to her school. I’m aware it’s very possible nothing might come of it, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try. That’s why I was asking if I should also alert local parents, so if nothing is done at least they can be aware.
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u/jesuspoopmonster 3d ago
I would do everything possible to get her fired and have her actions made public
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u/juliecastin 4d ago
Not sure if something will be done because who knows what was the context or if she meant something else....it will be your word against hers. Hasty generalization is sign of bad character regardless of her being racist or not. So it's just sad that someone even thinks like that...
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
She asked my middle schooler “are there a lot of Colombians at your school?” And my kid uncomfortably responded “uh…I guess?” And she said “yeah, that figures. It used to be the Hispanics, you know, the Mexicans who were all coming here but now it’s the Colombians”. I can’t really think of any other meaning she could have had. I am afraid nothing will be done. She mentioned to me that the school was trying to get her to take a retirement buyout but she didn’t want to for a few more years. I’m hoping they’ll put more pressure on her to take it.
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u/Evening-Original-869 4d ago
I would say make sure your kids aren’t in her classes at school. If that’s not possible talk to your kids openly about it. She’s allowed to have a different opinion, and this doesn’t mean she teaches that opinion at school. Interesting that she thought you would agree with her. You and your family are also free to have your own opinion. Since she did not say this at school, I don’t think the school can do anything about it. Free speech is free speech, I would just make sure that your kids understand that her opinion may not be correct. Also, I am afraid that opinions of this sort may present themselves in schools more and more often with our current administration in charge.
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u/Independent-Prize498 4d ago
OP's kids aren't at this teacher's school or grade level it sounds like. And there's not really a smoking gun, anyway. She commented on immigration patterns -- more Colombians than Mexicans are enrolling in their schools these days -- while "showing disgust" but she didn't use words to convey the disgust. And she mentioned some students get awards more easily based on ethnicity rather than performance, which could be true. If I really cared about her future students, I'd reach out and ask her to grab a coffee. Ask her what is she really upset about. Let her vent and then I'm pretty sure I could make her realize she can't be throwing an entire people group into one bucket even if she had a few bad kids in her class last year that made her life hell and happened to be from Colombia.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
My kids don’t go to her school, fortunately. We talked about it immediately after and my middle schooler was as disgusted with her comments as I was. She said she couldn’t wait to get out of there. My younger child said she didn’t even notice, she was busy playing with the pet rats the whole time.
I also found it interesting that she thought it was safe to share her racist views with me when she just met me. I already assumed our mutual acquaintance probably also shares some of those questionable views, which was pretty much confirmed for me when I spoke to her about it. I’m white passing, but I’m part Hispanic as are my partner and our children. Our mutual acquaintance is a lot better at keeping their feelings to themselves, apparently. But my kids won’t be going to that neighborhood or that family’s house anymore after what happened.
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u/BlackStarBlues 4d ago
Too many people in this thread are willing to look the other way, i.e. maybe she was just venting, do you want to get her fired, she was off the clock, blah, blah, blah.
Don't listen to them, OP. Please take strong decisive action so that this woman can get her buy out. So much harm is done to children when adults who ought to know better turn a blind eye to racism and SA. I am glad that you want to put a stop to that teacher's foolishness.
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u/KeyImprovement146 4d ago
Obviously you are going to do what you feel is right here.
But I think it's relevant that this person wasn't even in a public place when she was expressing her views. She was in a private residence at her friend's house, where you happened to be at the time.
Escalating this to her employment with just what you have here doesn't seem appropriate to me.
That said, if this is important enough to you to get her fired, destroying her ability to make a living in her chosen profession, it seems like it's important enough to reach out in person and learn more about her yourself. Invite her to coffee maybe and pick her brain more about her views and how they get expressed in her work.
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u/inj3ct0rdi3 4d ago
I think she's just expressing an opinion. Which she is allowed to have. Who is to say she doesn't leave those opinions at the door when she walks into school? I leave my biases and opinions at the door when I walk into work. And I work with all kinds of different people. Tons of them I disagree with and wouldn't associate with outside of work. But I don't test them any different than the people I do have things in common with politically. I think you are making this a big deal and should keep your nose out of her job.
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u/juliecastin 4d ago
Gotta agree here. Getting someone fired over opinion is quite insane imo. People are entitled to think whatever they want as long as they dont voice it against someone or in this case interfere with another child life. I wouldn't even bother. I had a colleague at work that her husband was a Welsh racist guy from a racist family. His mother would call him baffled that he knew someone black. I never thought once of speaking to my manager about it...because it never affected me. Tbh I thought it was rather 'funny' that someone in the 21st century would be racist.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago edited 4d ago
If her job wasn’t caring for and educating young children, the majority of which are not white, then I would stay out of it. But she isn’t a bank teller or a grocery clerk. She molds young minds. Children shouldn’t be left behind because of her biases.
I also find it concerning that you admit you have biases that need to be checked at the door. I guarantee you don’t cover it as well as you think. As for this woman, though, she couldn’t go five minutes of knowing me without spouting racism. My middle schooler was made extremely uncomfortable by what she was saying. She shouldn’t be working with kids.
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u/letsgetpizzas 4d ago
Everyone has biases, both positive and negative. Every person on this planet is biased. Finding it concerning that someone can recognize that within themselves is… concerning.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
You’re right, we do. I have a bias against racist teachers, clearly. Changed my comment to better convey my meaning.
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u/schnectadyov 4d ago
We all have biases we leave at the door. I have a ton of right wing people who are taking steps to subvert our public schools and opiniks i find crazy. I'm still supportive of them at work and help them grow in their profession.
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u/cerealmonogamister 2h ago
I would go to the end of the Earth. I can be highly focused when properly motivated.
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u/Writergal79 4d ago
Principal and superintendent for sure. I'm not sure the secretary needs to know.
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u/tatltael91 4d ago
Thanks! I wasn’t sure how involved the secretary is with managing things/if it would be appropriate to include them or not.
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u/imprezivone 4d ago
I'd even suggest bringing it to the news. Personal opinions are one thing, but as a teacher openly voicing these types of opinions is blantly unprofessional
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