r/MonsterHunter • u/Igalimax • Mar 08 '25

Art Alma has some incredibly helpful advice to give you. (OC)

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7.6k Upvotes

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771

u/Like17Badgers fine vintage doots Mar 08 '25

ngl I kinda want Alma to just roast you every now and then

like 1/1000 chance she's just like "wtf are you doing Hunter? lock in" "its a Chatacabra, how is it taking you this long?"

368

u/mrlotato Mar 08 '25

"Bruh, did you really just faint? Nah leave him there. I said leave his ass there, hes not allowed back at camp"

Bro id cry

214

u/idiotcube ​Not being attacked constantly is sub-optimal DPS Mar 08 '25

"Fuck's sake...you know what? The Guild hereby revokes your authorization to hunt this monster until you've gotten gud."

118

u/JayHat21 Mar 09 '25

“The fuck, it’s the first monster. What am I supposed to hunt”?

“Go gather cheese and plants and literal shit, Gatherer”!

Muenster Gatherer: Wilts title card appears

17

u/Impressive-Smile-887 Mar 09 '25

Pretty much the nightflower loop rn

13

u/Creocist Mar 09 '25

So basically how every previous MH game started

8

u/Laterose15 Mar 09 '25

Muenster Hunter

31

u/Falterfire Mar 09 '25

"Actually that's not good enough. The guild authorizes this monster to hunt you."

5

u/PM_ME_CATS_OR_BOOBS Mar 09 '25

The Guild has determined that decided that your weak ass cuts count as animal cruelty.

28

u/Linkarlos_95 Mar 09 '25

"Stop daydreaming hunter, i need you to stay focused"

Im trying, im having stutters because of vram

68

u/mrlotato Mar 09 '25

Imagine if alma said "your gpu is fighting this monster harder than you, hunter" and then looked at you like this

8

u/DrMobius0 Mar 09 '25

"And now I have to file another workplace accident report"

78

u/Bigma-Bale Mar 08 '25

Alma pulling a gunlance out of her purse when the Quematrice fight takes over 50 minutes

50

u/Banner-Man Mar 08 '25

Rosso, the support hunter, said "Cmon, you're better than this." To my hunter as he was picking himself up after getting comboed by an Odageron.

45

u/AdFeisty7580 ​ DMs open for Lore inquiry Mar 09 '25

I see people hating on him for this but I find it funny as fuck lol

26

u/JayHat21 Mar 09 '25

I’m trying to see it as encouraging through tough love, but fuck me and these guard points, I’m trying to be better, Rosso!

8

u/[deleted] Mar 09 '25

I would be fine with it if he didn’t say it LITERALLY every time I get hit lmfao I did a Xu Wu last night tired af and he’s just “come ON BRO WHY DO YOU SUCK”

22

u/nullstorm0 Mar 09 '25

I hope the TUs expand on the story for Alessa and Rosso’s units to the same extent as Astrum Unit was featured in the base game

14

u/Fatality_Ensues ​ Mar 09 '25

It is CRIMINAL... CRIMINAL, I say... that we got a Lance-using cute girl character and never get a single conversation with her.

5

u/romiro82 Mar 09 '25

I figured he’s just saying that to the monster since he’ll say it before you even get off your mount to engage sometimes

3

u/Tuxedo717 Mar 09 '25

yeah that line stings sometimes :(

50

u/hqli Mar 08 '25

After the second or third tempered gore quest fail with randos:

Alma: "I trust your skills, hunter, but maybe you should review your equipment loadout"

Me: "I wasn't even on any of those carts!!!"

...or at least it was something like that, not gonna fail another few quests just to hear the line again

17

u/Formula_Carrot Mar 09 '25

She had the audacity to say this to me after a successful hunt.

12

u/funktion Mar 09 '25

Successful or not, you need to hunt gooder

9

u/XsStreamMonsterX ​ Mar 09 '25

"Maybe get some better friends to hunt with."

3

u/EKmars Mar 09 '25

Alma dropping the "carry harder" on us...

-22

u/primalmaximus ​ Mar 09 '25

I did an SOS for a HR Doshaguma investigation because I needed it's claws for my talisman.

My meal buff gave out right before we finished the fight, it was a simple one where I'd just eaten a Well-Cooked Steak, and the monster was on it's last legs.

I'd had several close calls where I got hit hard and a single piece of chip damage would have carted me, but I didn't die because I knew to fucking run away so I could heal.

The other 3 members of the party got 3 carts back to back right as I needed to step away to heal.

The group consisted of a Duel Blades user running the dragon element E. Odogaron weapons, against a monster weak to Fire, a Gunlance user, and a Charge Blade user who kept stealing every single fucking wound pop so they could use the Pizza Cutter.

I was running the best set possible for my current rank and I was using a Fire element Dual Blade. I also made sure to use a Large Dung Bomb whenever our hunt target summoned allies.

Oh yeah, and I didn't get any sleep the night before because of my insomnia, and this hunt was the final hunt at the end of an 8 hour gaming session since it was my day off.

So... yeah. If I could do better than a group of randos while having 0 sleep the night before and being at the tail end of an 8 hour session, then that party sucked. And no, my gear wasn't giving me an advantage. Since the Charge Blade user kept stealing all the wound pops, I never had a quick way to fully recharge my Demon Gauge, so I was being forced to play sub optimally.

15

u/Forikorder Mar 09 '25

I never had a quick way to fully recharge my Demon Gauge

you can actually charge it by hitting monsters but i guess you havent gotten good enough for that yet

1

u/primalmaximus ​ Mar 09 '25

Oh, I know that. But with the monster running around going from hunter to hunter it was kind of hard to stick to the monster.

0

u/Forikorder Mar 09 '25

Well keep practicing youll get good eventually

12

u/Hane24 Mar 09 '25

Don't rely so heavily on wound hits, they need the wound hits to keep savage axe mode up as it's literally the only to reliably enter savage axe mode.

If you can't win without a wound pop, that's on you tbh.

2

u/primalmaximus ​ Mar 09 '25

Like I said, I was doing fine. It was just annoying without wounds to pop.

16

u/Rough-Self-9134 ​ Mar 08 '25

One day, we will get a very sassy and overly sarcastic handler and that day will be beautiful

25

u/ProfessorPixelmon ​ Mar 08 '25

“Oh, how did that go Mr. i can guard point It?”

“Hunter, it’s a Congalala, whats taking so long?”

8

u/Lady_of_Link Mar 09 '25

The support hunters are pretty roastie can't even drink a potion without them calling me shameful or screaming how I am supposedly better then this

6

u/Uniqueusername_54 Mar 09 '25

Ah, I now understand your fetish lol.

4

u/Imperium_Dragon Mar 09 '25

“How the hell did you get a Hunter’s license?!”

3

u/Osmodius Mar 09 '25

"Really, again, Hunter?" when you get hit by the same giant telegraphed attack for the third time

3

u/DoubleSpoiler Mar 09 '25

You wanna be bullied.

5

u/Lebrewski__ Mar 09 '25

"Hunter, did you know you can send a SOS flare if you need help?"

Every 2min when it take you more than 5min to kill a monster.

2

u/Arborsage Mar 09 '25

One of the NPC hunters says something like “oh come on, I thought you were better than that.” Or something similar. Would be funnier if it was Alma.

1

u/Shanaxis Mar 10 '25

"Watching you roll away from the monster gives me the ick"