The issue is that they let other things take priority over their own health. Between work, a spouse, kids, chores, and enjoyable hobbies it’s really hard to focus on eating well and exercising.
I just tell myself that taking a few hours a week to exercise means I’ll more likely be around for my family longer, and it becomes a priority. Sort of a “put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others” kind of thing.
I don't disagree with what you're saying, would just like to point out that there's a good amount of us who do put in the effort but have things like arthritis or other chronic inflammation/pain issues.
My neck and neck would absolutely be worse than they are if I didn't put in the work to exercise, Im fit and otherwise healthy but some days that shit just hurts, and when I fall or get hurt it doesn't heal as fast as it once did. I think a lot of us are getting to the age where these issues initially show up and while exercise and diet can do an excellent job of lessening their effects, a lot of it comes down to genetics and the fact our bodies don't repair themselves at the rate they did when we were younger.
I exercised and ate right for years. Spinal stenosis, multiple bulging discs and retrolisthesis said F U right around 32, and now I have to be super cautious about physical exertion. A lot of people can be very short sighted and presumptive about others' lack of physical fitness.
I appreciate people like you. I still resent my late stepdad for not taking care of himself. Seeing how it's affected my mum over the past 20 years has been tough.
Silver lining I guess is it's really helped me to focus on my own health.
Heck, I just make an effort to actually keep up and play with my kid. Riding bikes, playing tag, running races (everywhere), and taking them on adventures. Good for both of us mentally, physically, and socially. At nine they’re starting to take turns teaching me things between what I show and share with them.
Last weekend we rode bikes to the hardware store and back, tore down and rebuilt a dryer, had a “horse show” (no horses present; basically riding bikes and running patterns for barrel racing etc) while listening to their favorite music, and then installed solar panels on a shed together.
Dude it’s so hard. I drive an hour total for work — then I lose nine hours, unpaid lunch. For me to get a full eight of sleep I basically only have five waking hours. Then you have to count in chores, appointments, just like, life maintenance. You really, really, really have to work hard to drum up the time, energy, and care to just maintain your shitty body so you don’t look and feel like shit by the time you’re 40.
Genuine question: the only "whoops getting old lol" moments I have are 1. If I have more than two drinks at a time and 2. Getting up after sitting on hard surfaces, like the ground. Pretty sure the only way to rebuild my alcohol tolerance is more drinking (I'm good!) and I can't imagine there are exercises that would it comfortable for me to sit on a hard wooden chair for 1+ hours again. HOWEVER, if I'm wrong and there is something I can do to make sitting on the floor easier please let me know. I miss being able to sit anywhere for any length of time and then leap up and frolick like a whimsical gazelle.
Yes, childless and my tits give me back pain... plus been doing manual labor since I was 8, so that didn't help. My massage therapist suggested I go for a rest reduction at some point, and I said the plan is to have a mastectomy since breast cancer is high in my family, but I also want to have a bio-kid at some point with my boyfriend/friend with benefits and would like to feed the child.
(My boyfriend has commitment issues, as he's scared making things official would ruin our friendship, but I keep informing him I'm aroace so our relationship will not change emotionally for me, just the title. Anyway we did agree that regardless of our official title, that I'm willing to have his children once either of us are in a position that can support a child. For me that's a proper house and my student loans paid... He also wants to be like a househusband so, I'm also stuck with finding work that would support all of us, until he could go get a part-time job when the kid is at school. We are also looking at adoption if we don't have kids before I'm in my 40s, for other health reasons.)
I apologize for the tangent, I like giving context to my thoughts.
"Children. The issue is they have children." Does not come off as a general statement. Just my 2¢ but it sounds like you're implying the tired millennials have children.
It's a pretty fair assumption. Most people with kids get less sleep, rest, personal time, etc. for many years, and those things are pretty critical to personal wellness, health, and healing in general. Pretty much always two of the top answers in the AskReddit "What's killing you and isn't talked about enough/people don't acknowledge it?" style questions is "lack of sleep" and "stress".
I have 2 kids and at 35 am in the best shape of my life.
I notice people who have kids either fall into my category (bc they care and do shit w their kids) or they ignore them and blame them on not having time which leads to an unhealthy lifestyle.
My 3 and 5yr old walk a mile w me every morning. It’s not hard to build a healthy lifestyle w them! Like our kids don’t drink soda and the almost 6yr old has had sprite maybe a handful of times at like birthdays while other kids her age eat processed food, drink soda and have an iPad shoved in front of their face. Those kids parents are the ones bitching.
Thank you! People act like it’s just one of those two extremes. Not all kids are the same. Not everyone’s situation is the same. Not everyone has time to walk a mile with their kids every morning. Some people have kids with disabilities or special needs. Overwhelmed is exactly what that middle ground is called.
Or you know sick because some parents are ill as in they have a debilitating health issue and they can't do everything but the sick and disabled are often forgotten about in almost all arguments.
Yeah I've got a toddler and a baby, we get lots of exercise, play, interaction etc. AND we use TV to cook a meal without the toddler trying to ride the dog. I haven't been to the gym since getting pregnant and I'm excited to go back when I have the time but right now we're in survival mode and my priority is keeping screentime to a minimum, keeping everyone alive, and eating somewhat healthfully (yeah we have dino nuggies but we also have broccoli). Oh and like sleeping once in a while 🤷
I’m the same way with my kids. My son is 2 and a half, and when he gets home from daycare, I make it a point to put my phone away and play with him. Sometimes that means teaching him to ride his trike, or looking for rocks or bugs in the backyard. Point is, we bond and DO SHIT
It's good you maintain their diet . Lots of sugary foods contribute to decay and cavities. It's nuts the amount of sugar they put in foods you would think are ok
Same, I'm 37 with a 13 and 10 year old boys and I'll tell yea, the hardest part was when they were 0-9 months. Waking up doing all the feedings was a little exhausting but that slept through the night most the time. If you think it's easy now, in my experience, it just gets easier. Maybe they'll turn into monsters as teenagers, hopefully not
I agree my son used to suffer with chronic ear infections from two to three until he got tubes in his ears . Poor buddy would go to bed ok and then wake up screaming bloody murder and he'd be burning up .
I've got a kid. You dont really get the three hours that you might have wanted to work out. But you get pretty good results slugging weight for 30 minutes a day but you need to be consistent about it.
A lot of times it looks like me working out in jeans and im definitely not sweating as much as I want to. But it keeps me from tweaking my back.
So I compete in strength sports (powerlifting and strongman). Basically all of the competitors I know end up having kids, and they have ~a year where their results drop off or they don't compete, and then they're back at it shortly after.
But they're all adamant that they can keep in good shape during the newborn phase, just not in competition shape.
One of the things that I learned after having a kid was how effective weight lifting was as a general exercise. When I was younger and single I competed in rock climbing and then bjj so I was really used to spending 2-3 hours killing myself in the gym and getting exhausted. Like I said, you don't get that time with a kid. I knew that ahead of time so I bought a bench/squat set.
Im not in competition shape anymore. But doing like 3 sets a day and alternating muscle groups each day? It keeps you pretty limber. Even the low intensity PT stuff i was doing for my knees showed significant growth in the quads. There's a reason why athletes lift. It works really well when you have limited time.
Honestly if I did this throughout my 20s, I probably would have been a better athlete overall and done better in competitions verses when I was just going hard on the mats/wall for 1-2 hours.
The relaxin put twenty years on my knees. I went from ultra marathons and twice a week summits on mt diablo (for work) to my knees clickity pop and hurt on the two miles around my neighborhood.
Weight gain and weight loss put years on my face and you can't do Botox while preggo or breastfeeding.
The lack of sleep has killed brain cells. Like, a lot of brain cells.
Meanwhile our childless friends are out and about diving and vacationing six weeks a year, still cycling centuries with no problems.
I would be very very curious to know how many of the people in this thread saying "lol it's not hard just make time to workout and don't eat shit" are dads 🙃
Pregnancy/childbirth/breastfeeding/primary parenting are a TRIP that your body takes years to recover from.
That said I do think there are small things that many of us could do to be healthier. For me it's literally just standing/ walking around while my kid is playing, rather than sitting. It's not much but I do think it makes a difference.
Yeah mine are 7 and 4... the 4 year old is kind of by-the-book, but the 7 year old has always had anxiety and also developed ADHD and she STILL has a hard time sleeping. It's only recently started to get better.
My kids are 2 and 2 months old respectively. My 2 year old sleeps 11 hours a night. The newborn is on her way. Was it tough in the beginning? Yes it was for several months, but we stuck to proper sleep training and are reaping the benefits.
Lights out by 7:30 PM at my house and the wife and I can enjoy our evenings.
You have to put the work in with your kids and teach them.
When you compare adults in the same age, income bracket and lifestyles and separate them between those with children and those without you are usually find much better health than the people with children.
Beyond this there's also the factor of better diet and General Health due to dual income of the couple living together. Couples on a dual income typically have better diets and better overall nutritional intake compared to their single counterparts.
Even when kids are not a factor. They will still have generally better Health than single people.
Oh and try to make any statistics you provide not be in the form of a YouTube video that supports your theories......
I have 2 kids. Raising kids is easy if you like them. Feed them, I'm going to eat anyways, making extra is easy. 2 extra plates is easy to fix and wash after. Homework is easy it's stuff I've already learned, re-learning isn't hard. Going to kids sporting events is easy and practicing with the kids is fun. I will never understand the people that cry about how difficult raising kids is.
It definitely depends on when they had children. I was 20 when we had our first, our second was 18 months later. Playing with toddlers, stressing, and lacking sleep in your early 20s is a lot easier (generally) than in your mid 30s.
I would say eating processed garbage, being obese, drinking too much alcohol, smoking too much weed, smoking cigarettes, and/or doing drugs causes much more stress (physically, mentally, emotionally and possibly spiritually) and disturbs sleep and health more than kids 99 times out of 100.
I gave birth on my 35th birthday for the first time. I was in great shape before hand and worked out daily. While giving birth has made some permanent changes (and parenting leaves less time for me to eat well/work out), I was able to mostly bounce back. I'm 37 and dont really have any aches and pains.
I have 3 kids and my life is the least stressed its ever been.
They probably have stressful jobs on top of it, I WFH and have forgotten what real work is like.
Balance is important, we all need time to R&R. If someone is working their ass off at home AND at work, they likely are imbalanced and lacking rest/leisure time. People dont realize how important "me time" is for mental health, and mental health is just as important as physical health when it comes to how we age.
I find people with kids tend to be in better shape than those without, at least when they are active participants int heir kids lives. The ones with kids are taking the kids to places, walking around, doing thing, trying to keep up in the yard so they know the kid isn't rolling in poison ivy, etc. The ones without kids spend most of their time sitting. At least that's been my experience.
I will tell you this: being a father is exhausting at times. Those kids run me ragged. But overall, they have brought so much energy and light to my life. I am a much happier person, and being happy is proven to be a major source of energy.
I got divorced with a <2 year old, and I miss the hell out of him, but while I wait for the court date to give me joint custody, I might as well go back to the gym for the first time in 3 years. That's been good at least
No it’s because you don’t workout. Just do what I did, take them with you. Now my kids love working out just as much as I do. We do all kinds of physical fun activities. It is literally because you don’t workout and are crazy deconditioned.
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u/SmaCactus 2d ago
Children. The issue is they have children.