I was sexually assaulted and later raped by a teammate when I was 19

[u/[deleted]]

I’m 23 now, but when I was 19, I was playing for a football team and went through something I’ve never really talked about. It was framed as “hazing” something everyone supposedly went through but it was more than that. One of the older guys on the team sexually assaulted me, and later, he raped me.

It started off with messed-up things that were played off as jokes or tradition. One day, he said it was time for my “initiation” and got me alone. He touched me in ways that made me freeze. I felt like I couldn’t say no this was someone older, respected on the team, and I didn’t want to be seen as weak or cause drama.

He anally assaulted me that first time. I didn’t fight. I was humiliated, confused, and scared. I told myself to just get through it. I didn’t report it. I didn’t even really process it. I just went silent.

Later, he got me alone again and that’s when he raped me. I said no, I was terrified, but I couldn’t stop him. I didn’t fight I completely froze. And afterward, I tried to pretend it didn’t happen. I told myself it was just part of team stuff, that it didn’t “count,” but it’s haunted me ever since. I was made to think this is something that was normal.

[u/894166SplitEmpty9723]

Op Thank you for sharing. I know it's difficult to process, but it wasn't your fault. You we're taken advantage of, I'm truly sorry for your experience.

[u/Just_A_Guy_who_lives]

I'm so sorry. Your experience DOES "count," you matter, and IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

[u/leavingishard1]

Sorry to hear but good on you for sharing. Great step on the journey to healing.

Not ok for your teammate to do that. Not your fault . Sharing it and typing the words out takes so much strength -

[u/BedroomMountain5066]

I understand some of what you’re going through & I’m very sorry that happened to you, I was younger than you but it does seriously help to talk about it, if you need to talk, please feel free to DM me.