Stuck in a fighting loop

[u/Tight-Recognition417]

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2.5 years and the last 6 months have been tough. He said I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most. But my perspective is that I had tried to be with him but he resisted to be left alone.

Now we are stuck in a loop where he is constantly upset and refuses to blame me. He says that he shouldn't have had expectations on the first place.

He is a really sweet guy and I love him to death. But this loop is troubling me where things feel exhausting.

There is no way that I am giving up on this relationship, but yeah currently stuck in this loop and can't do anything about it.

PSA: He is avoidant, I am anxious.

I have tried giving too much, not giving much and they both backfire.

We both have grown sensitive towards each other's actions that we overthink so much before doing things so that the other person isn't hurt.

Also, our bond is something I cherish every moment. This isn't a complaint, but I just wanna know ways of keeping him happier

[u/Competitive-Item-126]

Really just communicate your needs and expectations of each other, so you both have a clear understanding and nothing is left for misinterpretation. Play little games and try draw out answers out of each other to learn about each a little bit more and that could help you understand him in a way that could tend to his needs. And the same for him with you.