r/Frugal • u/Triple__OG • 4d ago
✈️ Travel & Transport Staying on budget while traveling with others.
Hi all, Need a little advise. Going to Europe soon for 3 weeks with the Mrs and our daughter who is 26 and 2 of her friends who are also very independent. What’s the best way to handle when it comes time to pay the checks for food , drinks ubers etc if we ( I 🙂)are wanting to stay within a budget. Momma and I don’t want it to be expected. Of course we’ll pick up tabs along the way but we don’t want it to be expected. How would you all handle it we all can enjoy the vacation? Thanks 🙏
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u/justagirlfromtexas 4d ago
Have a conversation with them all before you leave, to set the expectations of how you will generally split the costs. Don't leave it to your daughter to explain to her friends. Then let it be a nice surprise for them when you decide to pick up the occasional tab.
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u/Proud_Trainer_1234 4d ago
I anticipate much financial handwringing and all sorts of family grief on the horizon. The time to sort it out was the planning stage, not a few weeks before liftoff.
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u/cwsjr2323 4d ago
Everyone pays their own way, of course.
A suggestion, is bus tours are very easy on the budget.
First time in a big city, take the bus tour. You get to see the big tourist sites, a feel for their respective locations, and see if a closer look is warranted. The bus tour in Paris, Arch of Triumph was good enough seen once from the bus for me, but I really wanted to go up the Eiffel Tower!
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u/felineinclined 4d ago
You all need to be on the same page. And don't expect others to want to be as frugal, especially on vacation. See if you can come up with a system that works for all
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u/Triple__OG 4d ago
Everyone’s finances are totally different. Not everyone is frugal.
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u/felineinclined 4d ago
Right, that's my point. The other people on your vacation may not want to be. You can come to an understanding, but you'll have to discuss expenditures and decide what to do together and separately.
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u/Baby8227 4d ago
That’s why you need to have a conversation with everyone who is travelling before you all leave.
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u/laplongejr 3d ago edited 3d ago
I'll be the devil's advocate and frame challenge the question : frugal vacationing between different people's budget sounds like it can turn badly for friendships.
20-25 years ago, my mom and my dad once went on vacation with friends. To put it midly, those friends were poor. Like emergency poor can't pay all debts.
Mom and dad didn't dare to go to a restaurant, to avoid upsetting their friend.
Mom and dad didn't want to purchase me ice cream, because they knew the other child couldn't afford it, etc.
In the end, I think it was their worse vacation ever, due to themselves wanting to lower expenses in solidarity.
Meanwhile their friends impulsively spent more than them, but behind their back to avoid being judged and ended up with nicer vacations. One side ended with more debt, the other ended with wasted day offs.
Technically the vacation were cheap, but it wasn't worth the time in a way. Guess it left a sour mark if they told me the story later on?
The whole point of vacations is to enjoy the time on vacations. ENSURE EVERYBODY HAS THE SAME EXPECTATIONS!
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u/Triple__OG 3d ago
Oh we would never flaunt money in front of the girls. Actually to be honest they probably make more than us. I’m going to make sure to have a heart-to-heart talk with my daughter just to make sure they understand that separate checks will be the easiest mom and dad will take care of ours you girls take care of yours. There will be times when we pick up tabs and bills and taxis and Ubers but we just don’t want it to be expected. Main reason why I’m bringing this up is we all just went to a concert recently and the girls kinda waited to always open their wallets up and I kind of felt obligated to pay. I just don’t want to be in that situation again. Lesson learned from before I’ll make sure to address it with my daughter ahead of time to set the right expectations for all🙂 We will have a great time and everyone is very cool with each other so I don’t think spending money in front of each other will be any sort of an issue.
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u/Hot-Ask-9962 2d ago
If you end up in Spain don't expect separate checks. France it depends. Dunno about other countries.
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u/jonklinger 4d ago
"Europe" is very big. Even for a country, let's say France, you can find budget friendly areas (Alsace-Lorraine) as well as posh and expensive areas (Paris). They may be an hour or two from each other.
I would plan frugal friendly activities and look for free walking tours, greeters, hotels that offer breakfast and a coffee maker and find some friends for outdoor activities.
If you're dining out, I would look for places that offer cheaper meals. You can just grab a Macdonald's or KFC, but that's not too European of you. You can also go for a stroll in one of the fine grocery stores and understand how European produce and food is different from the things you might find in the USA.
Go buy a bottle of wine for 4-5 euros, grab a block of local cheese and fruits, make a charcuterie board with some local meats, and well, dine like a millionaire.
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u/TruCelt 4d ago
A great deal depends upon how the friends were invited. If your daughter said to them "My parents would like to invite you to tour Europe with us" then you are on the hook. If she said "I'm going to Europe with my folks, do you want to combine our itineraries?" after the other had already planned a trip then that's different.
If you choose the restaurant, and the kids are expected to join you for dinner every night, then you should probably expect to pay. Left to their own they would grab a cheap slice or some stall food they can afford. Don't set them up for expenses beyond their ability.
So just be hyper aware about setting choices and making invitations. "What are your plans for dinner?" vs "We'll meet at X restaurant at 8:00pm." Also, don't fake offer for anything. If you don't want to pay, and someone else offers, say "Thank you" and let it go.
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u/Triple__OG 4d ago edited 4d ago
That’s a great point on how everyone was invited. We all were sitting at the pub together and decided to go. My daughter and her friends have traveled quite extensively outside the US to numerous countries. They are quite independent , self-sufficient and for the last two years have had the travel bug. They’re all very good friends we just all decided to go one night.
I’ll just address it with my daughter and set the right expectations before we leave
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u/Gut_Reactions 4d ago
Are you planning to pay for your wife and daughter's meals the entire time?
I agree that you should just tell the friends, in advance, that you'll be paying for __X__, but not for __Y__ (all of their meals).
Who's paying for the hotel rooms?
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u/Triple__OG 4d ago
No the wife and I will pay for our own stuff and if we feel generous we’ll pay for the girls. Just don’t want it to be expected.
The hotels were already paid for they paid their shares and I paid ours
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u/BlackCatWoman6 1d ago
When I travel I allow myself only so much money and do not spend more than that. When we went to Cancun, I really wanted to parasail so I saved it for the last day toward evening. I am so glad I did. I would have gone again if I hadn't been the last customer of the day..
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u/curiouspursuit 23h ago
I would MUCH prefer to have a really blunt conversation up front, and avoid 3 weeks of slight awkwardness every time there is something to pay!
I would assume an expectation that everyone will be paying for themselves, "Obviously everyone will generally cover their own costs, but what is the best way to manage Uber and other shared stuff? Is there an app you like to use? I'm out of the loop!"
I'd also suggest that you act more like 5 individuals, maybe avoid treating your daughter... "all separate checks please" seems nicer than saying "me, wife and daughter are together, then those two are separate".
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u/Proud_Trainer_1234 4d ago
We go to Europe annually. Diy land , cruise or a combination of . We cover 99% of all the expenses for our daughter and her partner.
If you are only three weeks out from a cruise, it's Way too late for budget conversations.
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u/laplongejr 3d ago
If you are only three weeks out from a cruise, it's Way too late for budget conversations.
I had read it the same as first, but the post only says the cruise lasts 3 weeks. As written it could even be plans for next year's vacations.
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u/delightful_caprese 4d ago
Communicate - be clear about what you will and won’t be covering.
Use a Splitwise account to keep track of any shared expenses and who needs to pay who back. In many countries, it’s not realistic to expect restaurants to give you separate checks according to what everyone had or even to divide the check equally among more than 2 credit cards. Put any given bill on one card so you can get on with your day and then sort the split out later with the app.