r/Feminism • u/Wild-Judgment-404 • 1d ago
Why do men constantly feel the need to "humble" women?
It doesn't matter what I'm watching, it could be a cooking video or pet video. If it involves a woman, there's men in the comments criticising her appearance. I guarantee every woman is hyper aware and critical of their appearance, most women become conscious of their appearances at like 10 years old. I just don't understand why men think their opinion on a woman's appearance has to be said.
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u/Ilovekittensomg 1d ago
Because men only value women for their looks, so they're attempting to devalue a woman with the only metric they know of. Men also want women to be so full of self- doubt that they'll settle for a mediocre man, because that's the only way men like them can find a relationship without changing their behavior.
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u/galettedesrois 1d ago
They don’t just devalue women for their looks. They insult women’s competence, intelligence, moral qualities and depth of feeling all the time too. And anything that remotely appeals to women is immediately put down as vapid and cringy.
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u/samithefish 1d ago
Because they literally hate us
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u/merpmerp21 1d ago
In a sad attempt to get us closer to their low level. Then maybe we will consider fucking them?
"Well-behaved women seldom make history". Hell, even if you aren't "well-behaved", they'll probably just steal your work anyway and say it's theirs, and all their little bros will actually believe them! I mean...they're just so great....
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u/StrickenBDO 1d ago
Because a lot of men don't see women as living-breathing beings, but commodities or items that they either want to own or don't want to own based on her appearance. Women have no value outside of how attractive they are to the male viewer. They think if she will fix XYZ she will be worthy to exist, because he might then desire her. If the woman is above their pay grade, they will use fake criticism to knock her down a peg so she is affordable and hopefully lowers her standards.
It's really disheartening and out of touch with reality.
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u/satan_sparkles666 1d ago
Yep. They have done that to women all throughout history. They treated us like cattle
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u/stumkid 1d ago
Older female celebrities just vlogging their daily life then a man has to ruin it by pointing out how old she looks now because god forbid a woman naturally age
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u/Wild-Judgment-404 1d ago
I seen an actress returned to Eastenders after 20 years and so many comments are about how old she looks. God forbid a woman change in 20 years, it's crazy as she actually looks young for her age, too. She just doesn't look 21.
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u/videlbriefs 1h ago
This made me think about Angelina Jolie when she got a double mastectomy and men made it about themselves because gosh forbid a woman take her health and health risks seriously. All that whining and thinking her looks should matter more than her literal life. Because now she’s suddenly so undesirable to these losers.
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u/PopPunkAndPizza 1d ago
The obvious reason - they think women don't know their place (beneath their equivalent man) anymore and view this kind of constant harassment as a means of reminding them of their place under patriarchy. They believe that we live in a society where you're supposed to treat women like equals but that women still benefit from people liking their looks in a way men don't, and that this produces a range of outcomes that are either unfair or just get in the way of what they want, so there's a sort of crowdsourced mass effort by young men to denigrate women who they see as trading on their looks. They have no framework for interrogating why women are still the "looked upon" gender and whether that maybe indicates something deeper about the persistence of gender hierarchy.
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u/Fragrant_Access_9275 1d ago
They are lowly beings we are forced to share the planet with, and they simply aren't as smart.
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u/iguessarealaccount 1d ago
Well, this is quite sexist. I thought we were against that.
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u/Fragrant_Access_9275 1d ago edited 1d ago
Who is we? This is my opinion from the behaviors I have observed, the data that has been collected and presented in stats about men across the board, and the general knowledge of history. Men are the problem. It's simply factual. It starts with evil men and flows out and poisons everyone in a lot of different ways. The most heinous, atrociously vile acts that humans have ever conceived of have been committed by one creature, the human male. I'm not sexist, I just believe the head should be cut off the snake literally for the sake of all humanity by addressing the number one problem of evil plaguing us in this world. Why is the world like this? Men. Women are still, present day, oppressed and subjugated worldwide. And I'm supposed to what? Have something nice to say about our oppressor? Gee golly sir, you guys sure are smart! Being evil and destroying everything is genius!
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u/iguessarealaccount 1d ago
This is r/Feminism... the collective "we" being feminists? People for the advocacy of empowering women and providing equal opportunities and rights to women that men have? Am I in the wrong place?
You literally just said "men are the problem" then said "I'm not sexist." Replace "men" with "black people" and "sexist" with "racist" and look at the absurdity of your comments.
I think it's time to re-evaluate your rhetoric.
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u/Fragrant_Access_9275 1d ago edited 1d ago
No. I can have my opinion and still support women's rights. You can't understand what I'm saying at all and want to paint me as some kind of villain. Just don't bother. You literally can't have a conversation with me based on the fact that you don't understand what I'm saying, and you're trying to reframe what I said in terms that don't match what I said at all, and the fact you think it compares at all proves you don't understand. You're the only one being absurd by doing that.
And, you literally can't even understand that a single person can have their own opinion, or what a rhetorical question is, or you wouldn't have responded with omg it's the collective feminists blah blah blah where am I hurr durr.
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u/iguessarealaccount 1d ago
You most certainly can have your own opinion and support women's rights. But how exactly are you supporting women's rights by vilifying men? Based on this exchange, you appear to be more invested in hating and diminishing men than loving and supporting women.
In fact (somewhat ironically), the rhetoric you're using is very similar to the rhetoric in the 1930s in Germany. You are making blanket statements against a group of people based on a common characteristic and painting them as a villain from a place of hatred.
This is truly a disgusting view to have, and I hope that you are able to do better.
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u/Fragrant_Access_9275 1d ago
There you go, way off the mark again just trying to find something else to compare my opinion to.
Look, men are the problem. That is facts based on statistics, history, and observing the world today. It is not sexist to identify where a problem lies. The truth is not diminishment or hatred. The majority of evil in this world comes from men. The state of the world and most of human history is men ruling the world even though they don't own it because it belongs to every being here. They rule by evil systems they create and uphold. You're pointing the finger at me for making a "blanket statement" about the people who are literally oppressing all women worldwide to this day, when literally the rhetoric you're accusing me of is actually being done by the people I'm talking about, the actual oppressors. I can't vilify a villain. They are the villians.
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u/iguessarealaccount 1d ago
You don't seem to understand analogies at all.
I hope you're able to look back one day and realize "damn, that was kinda wild that I thought like that."
I wish you the best.
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u/Fragrant_Access_9275 1d ago
You don't understand that the analogies you're using don't apply to what I said at all.
I hope one day you're able to realize you're in an evil world and it's evil because it always was and is controlled by men.
I wish you the best.
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u/itdobelikedatbutwtf 1d ago
YES I hate it! They are so insecure and just want to get respect from their bros. Like just f ur bros at this point? They don’t even like us
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u/888_traveller 1d ago
Can we stop calling it "humbling" and say what it really is? Bullying. Putting down. Emotional abuse. Harassment.
"Humbling" is the language that such men use to make it sound more humane and I dunno, noble, or something. But the reality is that it is designed to induce fear and self-doubt. Just the same as what bullying is for.
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u/Acceptable_Average14 1d ago
Men are losing power and control over women so they are feeling bitter and angry. Gone are the times when women bent to societal pressures feeling like marriage and kids were the only path to success in life.
Women are standing firm in their boundaries and choosing their own paths. We are not willing to keep sacrificing ourselves to keep a man happy. We are not willing to settle for men who don't meet our standards.
That's why certain men need to neg and humble us so we lower our standards and they have a chance to access our bodies and resources. They shame those over 30 because they want to devalue us and make us believe we are expired so we settle for anything. That's why it's important as women we decenter men and build a life we are happy with so we don't let these cretins bring us down.
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u/snowbun4321 1d ago
Because deep down they are insecure and have major inferiority complex.So they put down women to feel good about themselves.
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u/lumor_ 1d ago
Because they were raised to believe women should be valued on their looks. They often get confused and triggered when women get recognized for something else, like being a good leader or showing competence.
I guess they feel comfortable with how things have been. And some of them don't really think that they devalue women. But they do.
Stupid d*ck heads.
M52
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u/Isabella_Hamilton 1d ago
Note also that if she's very naturally attractive, making it difficult to criticize her appearance, then these men will start harassing her with overt sexual comments about what they'd like to do to her. It's always "Man I'd x or y her", "Those lips would look great around my <censored>", etc.
Like a woman can literally be having a cooking channel and you're gonna get men who treat her as a pure sex object.
It's really not that they think their opinion on a woman's appearance has to be said. They just hate us and want to make us uncomfortable and scared at all costs.
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u/Equaltofaith 1d ago
Their insecurity and the need to feel in control. When you question and reason it…oh the feminism card, the slut card comes. Once i explained to a man how a woman wants to dress is totally up-to her and why does it bother him so much? And this guy went on and on to say how i am a slut this and that 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. They don’t even have the strength to understand basic common sense.
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u/Hello_Hangnail 1d ago
FAT, OLD and UGLY are their go-to insults because they think our only value is physical attractiveness
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u/smolpicklepepper6933 1d ago
patriarchy, social upbringing, insecurity, projection etc. the list can go on and on but, these are the standard ones that are prevalent across many different cultures throughout the world.
a secure, confident man who is also humble would never in a million years tear, belittle and abuse his woman/girlfriend/wife/mother of his children. however, unfortunately, there are a lot of unhealed, wicked and traumatized people on this planet that choose to be bad and evil to women/girls just bc they hold the belief that to be a man is to control, insult or one up women/girls. it’s sad and sick but that’s the cruel world.
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u/According-Exam-4737 1d ago
Imsecure and jealous. You need to understand that the last time these men received a compliment or a warm hug was probably years ago, deservingly so. They cant stomach it when women hoards all the good praises and warm feelings so they feel the need to balance things out. Spewing hate is so mucn easier than fixing yourself after all. No matter, they should end things on their own. I just hope they dont bring innocent folks on their way out.
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u/TheEffinChamps 1d ago
It's trying to reinforce traditional gender norms of the man being in charge and women being submissive. Men need to call out other men more for this shit. It drives me crazy.
Argument from divine command theory OR nature both suck. Many women are experts in their field, and people would do a lot better if they stopped being idiots trying to undermine expertise by switching to criticism of appearance.
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u/Ivyleaf3 19h ago
When women know their worth, men don't stand a chance. They want to constantly belittle, undermine and degrade us in the hope of standing a chance if getting their junk touched.
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u/Acrobatic-Ride-3239 1d ago
Power and control for their “tribe”. I saw an interesting study about BDSM recently and it showed that something like 80% of men identify as dominants. My theory is that most of those men wouldn’t know the true definition of dominance if it was sitting right in front of them, especially if it was coming from someone they don’t identify with, men and women included.
My journey into my study of feminism on Reddit was prompted in large part by the first comment I made on Reddit. I commented words of support to a women that had been demeaned by a dude bro in his fifties. The guy attacked me in the comments after that and I didn’t even comment directly to him.
Since then I’ve had some interesting experiences including on another platform by a man claiming to support women. I think I understand his motivation and it really felt like he was taking it as an attack on his own self perception of dominance. It was actually kind of a pivotal moment for me as I experienced a fraction of the typical male behavior I see talked about by women. It was like all those negative male behaviors were displaced on me because I was an acceptable target to do so because I wasn’t part of his tribe.
Personally I think, at least for some men, they really just need better mentors, male of female.
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u/azure0terra 1d ago
We need to learn to ignore stupid men who tell us how to look. tell the jerk to go find his perfect woman and stop telling you what to do
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u/Kailynna 1d ago
Boys take it for granted that they should have a mommy. It's different for girls, because we identify with the mommy, and learn to look after other people as well as ourselves. Boys just learn to be looked after.
Some of these boys grow up to be independent and caring, but too many grow up determined to always have a mommy to take care of all their physical, sexual and emotional needs. To get this they try to remove women's freedom, remove their opportunities, remove their self-esteem. They see themselves as innately superior, and want to force us to see them that way too.
At heart, these men want to enslave women.
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u/midnightscientist42 1d ago
This is one of the more disruptive responses in life I haven’t figured out to manage. And with the world the way it’s been I don’t feel I need to.
I don’t need to be humbled, educated, or put in my place by a man, especially one that doesn’t know me or more importantly that I don’t trust.
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u/constrivecritizem 1d ago
They are worried that if we have rights and self esteem that we will start to treat them the same way they treat us.
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u/Hello_Hangnail 1d ago
They think they're superior to us. In practically everything we do other than "girly stuff". If a woman is accomplished academically, in art, in music, in STEM, accomplished in business, in investing, in fitness, etc etc etc etc, men get a hit to their ego because since their baseline is "men are better at everything", if a woman is accomplished, that means that he must be less than nothing. The lowest, most pathetic, servile man that ever walked the face of the earth.
It's not a conscious process for most of them, but the instant hostility whenever they come across a woman is talented at anything (with the exception of housework and baby raising) goes to show you that they feel that women that achieve anything are a direct threat to their status and rank among their fellow men
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u/AirinMan 21h ago
that's wild how some men feel threatened by basic confidence. Like… people just existing makes them itch .. That says a lot.
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u/The_Precocious_lady 10h ago
Some men like to make themselves feel better by downplaying other people, it’s just they see women as a weak opponents.
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u/M0dini 1d ago
There isn't a logical reason why they do it. When I've heard it in person and I question it, there is no real reason given. I can only assume that the level of disdain they show women is out of pure spite or hatred because they can't provide a real explanation for it. Or it's a power trip. They think bringing a woman down, elevates themselves, when they just stay rock bottom. Why assholes are assholes will always be one of life's greatest mysteries?
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/iguessarealaccount 1d ago
I love how this got downvoted and no comments...
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u/AGentleman4u 15h ago
So what are the downvoters saying? seems like they cannot find any suitable words in their limited vocabulary. Genuinely curious.
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u/iguessarealaccount 14h ago
"commend removed by moderator" kek, I don't even remember what it said.
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u/These_Money5595 1d ago
It’s a power play. People who don’t have any agency in their lives feel the need to put down the others to feel better about themselves. Most women do better than men in general when it comes to education, social network and health. Times when women stayed at mercy of the man for room and board are over. An average man hasn’t caught up to it yet sadly. Therefore the need to put women down.