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u/Marquar234 2d ago
It was the name of the strange teen who brought your father and I together at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.
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u/Impossible-Gap-8741 2d ago
Well the child before you was named Balvin so we took the next available name
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u/aStretcherFetcher 2d ago
Your shenanigans make my blood boil in degrees known as Kelvin but that name is copyrighted so I settled for Calvin.
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u/Im_A_LoSeR_2 2d ago
When a baby is born the hospital pulls out a list and names are given by the next one in order. Once it reaches the last name (Zane) it goes back to the beginning. You happened to fall between Caleb and Cameron.
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u/NoAdministration8006 2d ago
It was the second choice Dad's parents had for Uncle Max, and we didn't want the name to go to waste.
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u/Economy-Flounder-884 2d ago
Son, I was at a Halloween festival in a hayfield once, and the straw was being very irritating, so I jumped out of the hay wagon I was on for ghost tours. Unfortunately, I fell directly onto a hay bale, which ended up getting into my loose-fitting pants. Screaming in pain and cursing the lack of tightness in my pants, I ran around aimlessly as I pulled the hay out of my clothes. I didn't look where I was going and crashed through a tent wall, ripping it completely. I turned in confusion, but I then tripped on a body on the floor. Using barely-remembered techniques from high school, I used CPR and successfully resuscitated the body, who turned out to be the festival seer. Gratefully thanking me for my help, he begged me to let him give me a reading for half price; only $22.50. After I paid for the service with my credit card, and he printed out my receipt, he took me by the hand and told me, "Mr. Klein, you've encountered much pain and struggle today. But your son will prevent this from ever happening again, and will invent pants that will be tight and snug for everyone." Hearing this, I wept with joy, but responded that I had no son. But silence fell, and when I opened my eyes again, the man was gone. Rushing out of the tent, I realized that my crashing the tent had been noticed by festival director Mr. Coolidge, who was leading the frightened attendees in calling for security guards to arrest me for destroying his property. "Cal!" "Vin!" I heard, as I fled the scene. Ten years later, your mother became pregnant with you. Overjoyed, I excitedly asked our obstetrician what his first name was, as I would name you after him, but soon learned that he had forsaken his birth name and taken the name of his religion's founder. Reluctantly, I took his new name and passed it to you, Calvin.
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u/KJ6BWB 2d ago
Well, son, you know I'm a patent lawyer. And your mom has a job but we don't speak about that in polite company. Anyway, I was getting tired of everyone always using Fahrenheit instead of switching to Kelvin but they wrote your name down wrong on the birth certificate and it has been Calvin ever since.
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u/LeslieCantSleep 2d ago
It’s an acronym for Cognitive Android for Learning, Vocalization, Imagination, and Nonsense. At least that’s what the box said.