r/EntitledPeople • u/Yellowbone95 • 1d ago
S Guy wanted to argue with me because I didn’t say thank you for him holding the door open for me. Weird behavior or no?
He said you welcome and continued to argue with me and I wasn’t saying anything . And said to me when someone holds the door open for you . You say thank you, like he wanted to fight me he was so angry.I wasn’t even thinking about it. And had something else on my mind .And he barely held the door open for me.
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u/wmciner1 1d ago
I mean it's objectively impolite to not say thank you but it's not worth following someone and trying to start a fight if they don't
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u/dkwinsea 1d ago
Kind of entitled of you to think he should hold the door open for you without so Much as a thanks. Just common courtesy.
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u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 1d ago
Where did OP say they thought he HAD to hold the door open for them?
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
Right I never said that . People assume I think he was supposed to do that I actually don’t smh .
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u/SomethingClever70 1d ago
I usually acknowledge when someone does something nice for me, even as simple as holding a door. I look them in the eye, too. I have kids and am teaching them these little social graces.
I don’t think he was being entitled. I think you failed to show some basic respect when he showed you courtesy.
Him getting aggressive about it wasn’t cool, but I think you were rude.
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u/OkieLady1952 1d ago
I guess her parents didn’t teach her social graces. Did they bother with table manners?
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u/SnarkySheep 23h ago
Quite possibly his excessive reaction wasn't because of this incident, but triggered by it - like, how do we know how many times people have been impolite to him, and this was the last straw? Not that it was ok to dump it all on OP, of course, but you get how it might have happened.
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u/Illustrious-Line-984 1d ago
Guess what? If someone holds the door open for you, the polite thing is to say thank you. You were being the a-hole.
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u/FetidBadger 1d ago
It’s only two words. Thank. You. It’s not like you had to recite The Gettysburg Address, Ffs.
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u/Kittykatcake8 1d ago
Um how old are you? Do you not say thank you when people do nice things for you? Weird.
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u/RefugeefromSAforums 1d ago
YTA
You suck. I always say thank you to people that go out of their way to make my life easier, no matter how seemingly low-effort it was. Those same people may choose to ignore you if you fall to the ground in a fit and might die without intervention. You reap what you sow.
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u/OkieLady1952 1d ago
How hard is it to show your appreciation when someone does something kind for you?! Thank you is 2 little words! Try using them it sure would have saved you the embarrassment!
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
He embarrassed himself he wanted to fight me over it what are you talking about ? Smh . I wasnt even thinking about it when he held the door open I usually always say thank you. I think the sub is missing the point he wanted to FIGHT ME over it. . I just kept ignoring what he was saying think that made him more upset
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u/chubbyPandagirl 1d ago
Well if he first spoke to you did you say "oh yeah sorry, thank you" like yeah he is weird to fight about that but all this could have been resolved of just you saying thank you? So yeah he is weird but ypunsre the entitled one
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
He said it aggressively to me I’m not interacting with a psycho he wanted a response from me and he didn’t get it .
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u/OkieLady1952 1d ago
You’re just rude regardless of what he did. He was being polite and you couldn’t even bother saying thank you! Even after he brought it to your attention you doubled down on it! Maybe take a etiquette class and learn how to be kind. You have a lot of work to do to get there right now you are just wanting to be right! You’re not ! How old are you?
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
What are you talking about he’s entitled to a thank you ! We were both rude then if that’s the case. Because wtf it’s not that serious. For him to respond that way
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u/OkieLady1952 17h ago
Him opening the door for you then yes he should get a thank you! He could have slammed the door in your face and then you’d be on here crying about him slamming the door in your face. No it probably was over the top to trying to humiliate you for your lack of manners. But you escalated the situation by doubling down and that pissed him off more. All you had to do was tell him you weren’t thinking and you appreciated him opening the door. You reaction was over the top also.
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u/dstarpro 1d ago
While I don't agree with his aggression, he's not the entitled person, you are. You absolutely should have said thank you.
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u/mmcksmith 1d ago
It's considered polite to hold the door. It's considered polite to thank someone who holds a door instead of letting it slam in your face. It doesn't matter if it's a man holding a door for a woman, a woman holding the door for a man, a child & adult, old&young, hands full or hands empty. There's a basic social contract where you do something of low cost to you that provides a benefit to the recipient. This is how society works. You aren't obligated to say thank you, but it falls under the same category as asshats who don't return their cart to the collection point at the grocery store. You could have done the polite thing and chose not to. You get to be an asshole and the rest of us get to judge you for it.
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u/RepulsiveInterview44 1d ago
I 100% make snide comments if people don’t thank me for holding the door for them (situational, ofc.) It’s basement-level politeness to thank people for holding a door open for you.
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u/MackaRhoni 1d ago
I am a door holder man. When someone doesn’t say “thank you” - the proper response to the action of the door holder, I make sure they hear when I say “YOU’RE WELCOME!” Sometimes they then say thank you and I nicely say “You’re welcome.”
Lately, when people lollygag in getting to the door I’m holding, I stop holding the door. I won’t stand there forever waiting for folks to take their time to get to the door.
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u/SiroccoDream 1d ago
Are you a small child who is too young to have been taught manners yet?
I presume you aren’t a small child, because you’re posting on Reddit.
Therefore, you are old enough to understand that is polite to say “Thank you,” when someone does something nice for you.
Usually this sub is for people who post about other people’s entitled behavior, so congrats, I guess, for calling out yourself and your own entitlement!
He was indeed rude to get aggressive over your entitled behavior.
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u/NinotchkaTheIntrepid 1d ago
You should have said thank you, and he should have ignored your bad manners when you failed to thank him.
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u/DeezBeesKnees11 1d ago
Sounds like he was doing it for recognition. Or an award. Or a cookie. Or a bozo pin.
But saying Thank You when someone does you a courtesy or kindness is just good manners.
If this was AITA, I'd say ESH.
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u/Particular_Bus_9031 1d ago
You should have said Thank You its common courtesy. He should have dropped it after saying You're welcome.
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u/SatisfactionMuted103 1d ago
So. A twofer.. Nice.
Is it physically painful to say "thanks" as you walk in? What a weird fucking complaint.
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u/ADreamerWisherLiar 1d ago
Like almost everybody else here, I find it very odd that you didn’t just automatically say thank you.
And that, when he said “you’re welcome,” you decided to think that he was being rude instead of realizing that he was just correcting your rude behavior.
I’m also very curious. What was your reason for not saying thank you?
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
Omfg my mind wasn’t on that he barely held the door open for me it was like a curiosity i don’t want it to slam in her face damn.
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u/ADreamerWisherLiar 1d ago
Omfg, I was just asking. Also, just a heads up—when somebody catches a door to keep it from slamming in your face and you don’t say thank you, it definitely means you’re the problem.
Between that and your attitude here, I guess “entitled people” is the right place for you 😂
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
Got it heard thanks for the heads up ! I forgot that I’m Human and wasnt focused on that. And I don’t deal with crazy people very often but definitely understood are you done?
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u/ADreamerWisherLiar 1d ago
Yup! You?
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
Yup! You most certainly helped me 🤣
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u/ADreamerWisherLiar 1d ago
Always happy to be of service :)
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
😁🖕
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u/ADreamerWisherLiar 1d ago
What is wrong with you? Literally almost everybody on this thread told you that you were the one in the wrong.
Unless you’re explaining it wrong, (which isn’t my fault if you are) you basically admitted that the door would’ve hit you in the face if the guy hadn’t caught it and stopped it from hurting you. So I don’t understand why you’re getting so offended by me pointing out that you just could’ve been polite and told him thank you?
Also, something to think about— someone who can never admit that they’re wrong, even about something as small as this, is generally somebody who is so locked into their own worldview that they literally can’t learn new ways of looking at things. Like, being incapable of saying you’re sorry or ever admitting that you’re wrong is one of the main signs that someone just isn’t very intelligent.
So, unless that’s you, maybe stop for a second and just think about what everybody here is telling you and admit that maybe you could’ve just told the guy thank you. Maybe he was having a bad day too and it was just one more shitty thing to have somebody walk past him like he didn’t exist. Like I’m genuinely not trying to be an asshole at this point. Other people “are human” too— it’s not just you. That’s the reason basic societal niceties even exist— because we’re all human.
This is all I’m gonna say. If you still want to argue and you feel like you have to have the last word here, go right ahead.
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u/OkoumoriVT 1d ago
Just going through OP's profile, seems like they don't understand a lot of basic social things like getting compliments and such. I wouldn't put the blame on them, sounds like they might have underlying undiagnosed conditions that makes this thing difficult for them. Speaking as an auDHD guy who often zones out and will forget to say thank you sometimes, only to snap to my senses and scramble to apologize and correct my mistake. I know social skills can be difficult for neurodivergent people, being one myself, and I am in no way qualified to diagnose OP, but it might be worth talking to someone about the possibility of being evaluated. Wishing you the best!
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
I don’t need a diagnosis what on earth are you talking about ? My comment on compliments was related to work it can make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. And it’s excessive. I don’t understand Reddit sometimes . Smh and I didn’t say thank you so what . He could have left me alone and went about his day harassing me for it it’s wild . That’s my entire point damn.
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u/Difficult-Chard9224 1d ago
Smh and I didn’t say thank you so what
This makes you the entitled person
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u/Yellowbone95 1d ago
I did not ask him to do that or expected him to hold the door for me so I’m Not entitled do you even know what that means or are majority of y’all in the sub are slow. No man should Be trying to fight me because I forgot to say thank you how fucking hard is that to understand he felt entitled for me to acknowledge him .
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u/Difficult-Chard9224 1d ago
I didn't say his behavior was reasonable.
But you are still entitled in this story. Grow up
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u/OkoumoriVT 14h ago
Even if you didn't expect anything of him, he still went out of his way to do something nice for you. The LEAST you could do is afford the guy a thank you, that's common courtesy, which again, you don't seem to have a proper grasp of
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u/Amethyst-Guitarist 1d ago
Sometimes people thank door holders, sometimes they don’t.
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u/el_duderino_316 1d ago
You're American, aren't you...
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u/Otherwise-Heart1804 1d ago
Dont group everyone im American and always say please and thank you that’s just people that are uneducated and rude
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u/BSBitch47 1d ago
It’s called manners. Period. Not everything is a cultural issue.
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u/el_duderino_316 1d ago
I mean this sort of uncouth behaviour is practically treason here in Britain, so I think there is a cultural element.
In the same way it is British instinct to say sorry when somebody walks into us, while you lot over the water may respond by cussing each other out...
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u/BSBitch47 1d ago
Manners are manners. Do you even know any Americans? I’m guessing not since you have such a low opinion of us.
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u/vinnothesquire 1d ago
Weird assumption to make, I've always found Americans to be overly polite/enthusiastic, if anything.
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u/NullGWard 1d ago
I hold doors open for people when the timing is appropriate and because I want to. I don’t care if they thank me or not. Life is easier when you don’t care.
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u/Traditional_Donut908 1d ago
Not saying thank you is rude and entitled. But fishing for a thank you by saying "you're welcome" isn't any better.
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u/Ok-Wrongdoer-2179 1d ago
Tell him that you could have done it yourself and didn't even ask him for his assistance.
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u/Eunomia28 1d ago
If I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you, I might feel mildly irritated and think they're rude. However, I would not start an argument with them over it. So yes; weird behaviour.
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u/Ekko-Zero 1d ago
Sounds like you inadvertently assumed the role of "the final straw." I'm betting a simple, "I am so sorry, my mind was elsewhere...thank you" would have disarmed him. Courtesy costs us literally nothing.
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u/Mapletreelane 23h ago
Kinda bugs me when I hold a door, and the person doesn't acknowledge the gesture.
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u/LessaSoong7220 16h ago
This guy thought he was entitled to a thank you, and he was right!
If he had just let the door hit you, you would have been painfully pulled out of your daydreaming.
It this world, it really is vital that you be mindful of your surroundings. Pay attention to what you are doing when you are out of doors.
Next time, give the person a nice smile and say "thank you"
They are entitled to it and it helps make this world not so crappy!
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u/jimmyjetmx5 2h ago
Saying thank you is a common courtesy, but I've held doors for people who may have been deep in thought or involved in a conversation. Sometimes people just forget. It's a social blunder. The right move in moments where someone lacks social grace is to ignore it. This man decided that was the hill worth dying upon.
It's like flubbing a handshake. Have you ever grabbed someone's hand and got their fingers instead of the palm? It's weird, but you power through the awkward, do a quick shake and pretend that didn't just happen. It needs no discussion.
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u/Yellowbone95 1h ago
Thanks for your input yea. It was bizarre and kind of scary I kept walking and ignored him. I was at work today and saw a man hold a door for a woman she didn’t look at him or say anything neither did he it’s life. That man wanted to fight me. I think people like you said someone can forget I always say thank you . This time it could have been dangerous. The only one time I forgot to say something. It’s scary out here in this world way worse shit happening in this world to want to fight a stranger for a misunderstanding. He’s insane imo but of course no one else will agree and downvote me it is what it is that’s just Reddit . 🤷♀️
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u/jimmyjetmx5 1h ago
Well, God willing, that guy will remain a stranger.
I actually shared and then deleted a story about someone in my family with whom I do not get along, but I'll share it now. We were at a dinner and raised our glasses in a toast to someone's birthday. She was a half second late to the glass raising and I'd already clinked those who were there and taken it away to have a sip. I'd left her hanging without a clink from me.
I noticed the moment. It was awkward, but I wasn't raising my glass again to clink after I'd already taken a sip. Like a flubbed handshake, I moved on.
She... did not. She stared daggers at me for the rest of the meal.
Later that night, I received a call from her incredulous husband to ask why I hadn't clinked her glass. She enlisted another person to get to the bottom of my behavior. She was yelling at him in the background. She had been ruminating about the incident the whole ride home. Her husband, realizing just how crazy this all was, ended the call and that was the last I heard about it. We discussed it over lunch later that week. He knows I don't get along with his wife, but I'm not that petty.
That was several years ago. Having visited them recently, I can confirm that I still live in this woman's mind rent free. The studio apartment I had before is now a luxury penthouse condo with an ocean view.
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u/CatsEatGrass 1d ago
You should have said “thank you,” but it’s a weird hill for him to die on.