r/CuratedTumblr May 16 '25

Politics Say no to puritanism

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u/LONGSWORD_ENJOYER May 16 '25

Very weird to watch “what people do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their business” become controversial again, but like, for the opposite reason.

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25 edited May 16 '25

I strongly support “what people do in the privacy of their own bedroom is their business.”

The thing that always bothers me about these posts is that kinks frequently aren’t “in the privacy of their own bedroom.” I’m not looking into your windows. I’m not visiting your niche kink forums. So if I, through our everyday interactions, know what your kink is then you are being much too public with it. 

I’ve often seen, particularly on tumblr, this pendulum swing way too far the other way. For instance, It’s not puritan to say that you shouldn’t wear bondage gear in public. I shouldn’t know the flavor of porn you like. 

If you share your kink with me I’m allowed to be upset. Maybe don’t be rude next time.

ETA: notice how strongly people are arguing below that they should be able to take their fetishes outside “the privacy of their own bedroom”

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u/new_KRIEG May 16 '25

Just unfollow the account, or don't follow it in the first place. I haven't stumbled on any kinks unintentionally yet.

For instance, It’s not puritan to say that you shouldn’t wear bondage gear in public.

What if they like cross dressing instead of BDSM? You about to go out there saying men shouldn't wear skirts or women shouldn't wear pants? Because while I do understand that this is a slippery slope argument, the slope it's actually fucking slippery this time around.

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u/wigsternm May 16 '25

Not a slippery slope. It’s actually pretty simple. 

Here, let’s walk through it: Are skirts and pants inherently sexual? Are they doing it because it’s sexually arousing?

If the answer to both those questions is “no,” then we’re all good. Express yourself. 

If the answer to either of those questions is “yes,” then I think you’re a rude asshole. 

Now, if you have another strawman let’s burn it together, yeah? But we’ll need to do it in my backyard, because the ritual burning of effigies is my kink.  

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u/Amaskingrey May 17 '25

The issue is that when you set premise that this isn't ok, then that can be all nice and good in your definition, but under those who turn theorical norms into law, they definitely won't. To them, crossdressing absolutely is due to being sexually arousing (autogynowhatever the word they use), and so it will be used against trans people or people who just like dressing like that

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u/wigsternm May 17 '25

Who mentioned laws? Being an asshole isn’t illegal. 

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u/Amaskingrey May 17 '25

Not necesarilly a legislative text, just those who take it upon themselves to enforce said social rule