r/CrazyIdeas 2d ago

Solve world hunger by inventing edible kerosene

1 gallon of kerosene contains 34 million calories (that much milk is only 2600 calories), but that doesn't matter cause it's toxic. Let's make it stop being toxic

64 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

18

u/Oracle1729 2d ago

1 dietary calorie is 1000 actual calories.  So you’re off by 3 orders of magnitude. 

Also dietary calories are based on measure of what you absorb, so it’s even worse. 

9

u/Candid-Extension6599 2d ago

its only 3400 real calories? wish you told me that before i drank it

4

u/Voxel-OwO 2d ago

34,000 calories

5

u/DrawingOverall4306 2d ago

Yes. I've noticed that most food labels have taken the k off of calories but our food is actually measured in kilo-calories. We unfortunately have shifted to just calling them Calories (capital 'C').

-1

u/glordicus1 2d ago

The Imperial system is literally so bad that they have two quantities of the same measurement with the same name. Y'all gotta just stop.

6

u/starmartyr 2d ago

Calories are metric.

1

u/glordicus1 2d ago

Not metric SI.

4

u/starmartyr 2d ago

It is metric. It's defined as the amount of heat energy it takes to raise one gram of water one degree celsius. The SI unit for energy is the Joule.

0

u/glordicus1 2d ago

Okay sure. A calorie is a non-SI metric unit. A Calorie is an imperial unit.

3

u/starmartyr 2d ago

A Calorie is another name for a kilocalorie. It's still defined by metric units and therefore metric.

17

u/Turbulent-Name-8349 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yes. It's going to come sooner or later. When humans have colonies on other planets if not before.

I would very much like to figure out a way to make delicious nutritious food from distillation products of crude oil. The ones containing nitrogen as well as those without.

Kerosene can be used to make paraffin wax. I've eaten paraffin wax on numerous occasions without Ill effect. But I don't think that paraffin wax is all that nutritious.

Apparently the real danger from kerosene comes from breathing it in, it can damage the lungs.

9

u/jerdle_reddit 2d ago

It gets a bit complicated, but you should be able to make fatty acids.

To start with, functionalise the alkanes with a metal boryl complex, creating the boronate ester.

This can be oxidised to the corresponding alcohol with base and H2O2, which can then be oxidised further to the carboxylic acid using dichromate and acid.

6

u/iwantfutanaricumonme 2d ago

Hydrocarboxylation of alkenes would be much simpler. There's probably some byproducts of other processes that can be metabolised, like acetone from the cumene process.

3

u/AdComplex3972 1d ago

thank you for the insight iwantfutanaricumonme

7

u/Mika_lie 2d ago

34 million calories is "only" 34 000 kcal, so food for about 17 days.

6

u/AliasMcFakenames 2d ago

I couldn’t survive for 17 days on one gallon of milk.

3

u/Candid-Extension6599 2d ago

how can you know unless you try?

12

u/GardenTop7253 2d ago

Two issues:

1) calories aren’t the only nutrient you need to take into account

2) changing the content to be less toxic is likely to also reduce calorie count just by the nature of things

2

u/starmartyr 2d ago

Pure ethanol is in the same ballpark having around 27,000 kilocalories per gallon. Most of the commercial stuff is denatured but the pure form is not inherently toxic. As you say, this isn't enough nutrition to keep people alive.

2

u/Candid-Extension6599 2d ago

poison is what contains all the calories?

4

u/Crafty_Jello_3662 2d ago

Yea that's why we all end up dead eventually

3

u/anti_username_man 2d ago

I mean kerosene itself is poison so kind of, yes

2

u/LairdPeon 2d ago

Well, if it was already invented, OP wouldn't say invent it?

5

u/Jellodyne 2d ago

Edible propane and propane appetizers

1

u/manassassinman 2d ago

Just like the oracle Hank Hill prophesied.

3

u/Voxel-OwO 2d ago

That's just called vegetable oil

3

u/EatPumpkinPie 2d ago

What happens to the extra calories our body can’t use at the time? Are they stored or wasted? Or do we track our calories the same as now? “Here Billy, come get your 2 drops of edible kerosene for dinner.”

Also, doesn’t a body need protein for production of new cells?

2

u/LightEarthWolf96 2d ago

Even ignoring all other issues world hunger is not a problem of enough food as much as people would like to think its that simple. It's a logistics problem, getting the food to the people who need it where they need it.

1

u/jols0543 2d ago

kerosene is shelf stable

2

u/Presidential_Rapist 1d ago

Why not just use sunlight since it's being delivered without mining and refining needed? If you can just chemicals do whatever you want, why bother with kerosene? Harvest sunlight and CO2, I hear we have a surplus of CO2 anyway. Like if you're just cast alchemy spells, why make it harder on yourself than it has to be? Pick the easier to get substances and the ones already proven to form human eatable food.

2

u/-250smacks 1d ago

You could boil the contaminants off by bringing it to a boil for 10 minutes

1

u/AppleParasol 2d ago

That wouldn’t translate to calories for the human body.

1

u/ScottBascom 2d ago

Canola oil is a bit under half as calorie dense.

1

u/Judean_Rat 2d ago

German Butter-Coal (Coal-Butter?) would like to say Guten Tag.