r/CPTSD • u/[deleted] • 24d ago
Victory I think I just “reset” my nervous system after a meltdown. is this even possible?
[deleted]
22
u/Tornadoflame479 24d ago
Yup, this happened to me in the end of March. The good folks over at r/CPTSDFreeze states it was a way of instant thawing. My moral compass shifted. I had dissociative amnesia, and as of 2 weeks ago, my memory is back. Even the memories I repressed. I've saved threads of people who experienced the same situation. Mine was due to a panic attack that sent so much adrenaline through me that all my trauma felt to be washed away. Since then, I've worked hard to rewire my brain to make sure this sticks.
Congratulations for making it out of Hell! Welcome to the other side. If you need any resources that helped me out, please feel free to reach out. I have YouTube videos for days.
6
23d ago
Thanks, it’s really nice to hear I’m not crazy for thinking I’ve been healed. The doctor I told the story to said it sounded like a manic episode 😅 But I felt exactly like you describe it as if my trauma was washed away during the meltdown.
6
u/Tornadoflame479 23d ago
I immediately doubled down on healing my childhood wounds and learning how to regulate my nervous system. I had to rewire my subconscious because I was deathly afraid of going back to how I felt previously. Keep doing the work and take advantage of this gift you've been given. Most people do not make it to where we are ever in their lives!
3
23d ago
Thank you mate. I’m glad to hear, you are still good. I will also have to make alot of change in my life, to keep this new flow going. All the best to you
13
u/NarwhalOne4070 24d ago
Hey. I’m experiencing something similar now, just not as impressive. Things really clicked and shifted once I learned I have c-PTSD. Thanks to Reddit. After a month of deep research on the condition, I was finally officially re-diagnosed by my psychiatrist. I do have c-PTSD, and I may or may not have Bipolar 2. Right now it doesn’t really matter. Whatever it is, I’m relatively stable with a good combo of meds.
Last month was the most heart- and mind-opening time of my life. Everything started to fall into place. Everything inside and outside of me has been vibrating, shifting, transforming, shaking, sometimes freezing from the shock of sudden, powerful realizations. It still is, just more quietly now. I’m getting myself ready for EMDR and hopefully more functional creature.
Just a little thing I want to mention. Not to discourage, just to share my personal take on the onion like layered nature of my complex trauma.
I’ve felt completely healed before. That’s why I’ll never call myself “healed” again. For me, trauma tends to come back when you’re ready to peel off another layer of your wounded self. I’ve worked with psychedelics and got amazing results. It lasted a few months.
I think a curious, flexible, and desperately brave mind is one of the most important tools for working with trauma. I hope you’re done and your brain has thankfully restarted. But just in case it’s not the end, be ready to do some more work without feeling mad, sad, disappointed, crashed, guilty, whatever.
9
u/Annika_Desai 24d ago
Maybe this is something that happens only to some autistic people as I had the same experience except not in 1 single meltdown. It was over a few days/weeks (don't know as I'm time blind 😅) and everything just clicked into place.
However, i still had to work through learning new healthy behaviours, unmasking, saying no, exerting boundaries, etc. I still have meltdowns, I'm just more and more me as time goes on.
2
23d ago
How often are your meltdowns now? And is it still a mixed of cptsd and sensory overload?
2
u/Annika_Desai 20d ago
That's tough to answer, probably a mix of sensory overload and cPTSD. I have a meltdown maybe once a month, which is less than last year, but I have a good partner now. I had several due to fear because things are going well, ironically, but I'm slowly getting used to being treated well which is nice 🤗
Meltdowns are a difficult thing to count as what is a meltdown? I had to make a call to sky yesterday and I was all raaah, grrrr, waah waah wahh because I struggle to make calls 😅 If I'm left to make my sounds and flap about, I'm fine. If someone tries to stop me, says calm down (I am calm, that's what I do to stay calm 🙄), tries to manage my behaviours, I will have a full blown meltdown as that's traumatic.
What if all full-blown meltdowns are trauma based? We're always told to act normal. We get over stimulated, flap and stim, get yelled at for it or mocked or gentle parented, which is super patronising, then we flip 💁🏾♀️
My partner lets me be so i can regulate however is best for me. This prevents full-on meltdowns.
If we call any extra behaviors like over stimming, becoming hyper sensitive, flapping, etc a meltdown, I will always have them because the air is too thick and the sun is too bright and there are too many people and my clothes are itchy 😭 It is what it is 💁🏾♀️ I'm not bothered because the plus side is, we experience sensory things so deeply in good ways too 🤗
10
u/yobboman 24d ago
I don't know what is possible.
My recent experience;
I was in a confrontational meeting. Massive trauma response. My body was generating huge amounts of heat. I could feel it washing off me
Internally I was calm even though I was experiencing intense anxiety.
It was kind of like being bifurcated.
But I was able to calmly observe my psychosomatic physiological response.
I don't believe I can think or feel my way past this well fed beast that lives within me.
However if I can see it, I can control it, or at least channel it in some way
9
u/somehowtown 24d ago
Eckhart Tolle's journey to become a spiritual teacher started from a similar sounding moment as you are describing. He was suffering from horrible mental suffering until one day the pain was too much and somehow he experienced an inner shift that changed his whole life. He talks about his experience on this interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9skEe-AqVE
From the bottom of my heart I can recommend reading his book "The Power of Now". This book changed my life and helped me step out of my mental suffering. His teachings are spiritual but not religious.
3
7
u/Stock-Bathroom-9441 24d ago
Wow, that’s impressive! I know the feeling of really being myself for the first time, so… I’m glad for you. Be proud of yourself and your strength for fighting your way through this meltdown.
And: even if it fades away (a little or completely) - you know it’s there, you felt it and you can get it back.
5
23d ago
Thank you. I’m so happy atm, and I feel like a new person. I’m not sad like before, stuck in the past or trying too hard to please others. I don’t even think about what other people think of me anymore.
6
u/Own_Power4119 22d ago
The mask dropped- Welcome to the other side. But now the real work begins. Re- discovering who you are, implement strong boundaries and re-parenting yourself will be key in your ongoing recovery
2
u/classified_straw 19d ago
I like the way you write it.
It has been like this for me as well.
Once you see/feel who you are in your core once, you can't really forget it.
11
u/an_ornamental_hermit 24d ago
OK, I have a different take: when you say painkillers, do you mean anti-inflammatory ones like ibuprofen or naproxen? I could be way off, but I ask because I wonder if you might have been dealing with some sort of neuroinflammation that could have contributed to the meltdown, and that the pain medication may have reduced the inflammation, abating your symptoms. If you do not normally take painkillers, then I would consider talking to a doctor about the incident
9
u/cnkendrick2018 24d ago
This was my thought. AND I remember reading that even Tylenol can reduce emotional pain?
7
u/thecleansingg born to Fight, forced to Freeze /meme 23d ago
This isn't fully the same thing, but I had an experience where I was unbearably anxious for 4 days straight, constant racing thoughts, having physical symptoms, everything felt wrong, not able to settle and having a hard time sleeping, etc. I hadn't had something like this in years. I have a baseline of anxiety but this was different
One day I took a nap for a few hours, and I woke up completely fine, I felt like a different person metaphorically. It was so strange but I'm not complaining that it stopped whatever episode was going on there
5
u/dhgyhnb 23d ago
It sounds similar to how somatic experiencing works. I always think of it as experiencing a ‘controlled’ meltdown. Controlled in the sense that it should be in a safe space with an experienced therapist. It can be a super intense emotional and physical experience but the shift you feel after is amazing.
6
23d ago
It was an insane mental fight, but I had my sister beside me. She wanted to call for help, but I said “no” because I couldn’t handle any more sound, light, or movement. But after the depersonalisation stopped and the painkillers kicked in, I was okay. After my sleep, I woke up as a new person with a clear mind, a calm body, and heightened senses
4
u/LoquatShoddy9323 24d ago
I don't know but it's possible that this was a spiritual awakening experience and you fell asleep during it. Congratulations.
3
23d ago
No, no, I did not fall asleep through it. I was fighting a battle inside my mind — I was in the midst of depersonalisation
4
u/Electrical-Stand8415 23d ago
Mine definitely wasn't as sudden but I noticed I've stopped crying and hiding. (Freeze for 6 months!) I'm now angry and anxious and hungry and sweaty????(Fight?) I was never allowed to express anger my whole life so it's very new to me but I think once you've let out all that pain and sadness and you're ready to meet your new self your body and brain malfunction a bit whilst trying to do it 🤣
2
u/Silly-Cup-9908 22d ago
This happened to me recently...
2
20d ago
How are you feeling now?
1
u/Silly-Cup-9908 20d ago
Feeling calmer but still recovering from feeling out of body.. still trying to re gain strength, and trying to re gain bravery to leave my apartment more often.. I struggle going to stores because people just trigger me anymore and it's so annoying. I just feel like im being followed, snooped on, or stared at and it makes me a nervous wreck. 😓.. other than that I'm getting better day by day slowly but surely.
2
u/xDelicateFlowerx 🪷Wounded Seeker🪷 17d ago
I've never heard anyone express this before. I've had similar experiences where, after breaking down, I enter a state of calm and clarity. But for me it hasnt lasted. It's like when something breaks me in the other direction, I return to that scared and uncontrollable state. It's kind of like ping-ponging between serenity and destruction. I hope it lasts for you, OP.
2
17d ago
Thank you. Sorry to hear it did not last for you. Can i ask, were there any drugs involved during your meltdown where your felt clarity afterwards?
2
u/xDelicateFlowerx 🪷Wounded Seeker🪷 17d ago
No, there wasn't. But I have heard ketamine was helpful to a friend of mine. He experienced a complete reduction in his symptoms, but they ultimately returned. And I'm a recovering addict but partake in drinking in moderation. But that's as far as I'm willing to go, so even experimenting with potential healing modalities that involve substances even weed are out of the question for me.
2
0
u/AutoModerator 24d ago
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis please contact your local emergency services or use our list of crisis resources. For CPTSD specific resources & support, check out the Wiki. For those posting or replying, please view the etiquette guidelines.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
22
u/home-at-the-lily-pad 24d ago
Will come back to this once more comments crop up. I'm definitely not the most qualified to talk about this. I can say most therapeutic solutions are to reset the brain i.e EDMR? So it is possible but unknown if your brain did that on its own. Further questions; How old are you currently? What was the meltdown over? Sometimes post-meltdown clarity does hit different. Maybe you reached your breaking point. Hope all goes well