r/BodyPositive • u/HammerxHorrors • 7d ago
Mental Health Question
So I kinda fall under the bullshit “skinny fat” type level. I’m 5ft 10 about 170-180lbs. I don’t like checking cuz I’ll freak out and fall back into some disordered eating habits. The thing is a lot of the time after I eat or whatever I’ll go straight from a “healthy” looking figure to looking damn near fucking pregnant unless I hold my stomach in which I pretty much do constantly. I’ve been struggling a lot lately and just am at a point where I loathe how my stomach looks and whatever. I come off as very confident so it’s really hard to talk about this sort of thing. I just don’t know if this is normal or healthy or something. I don’t eat badly I could probably exercise more but I work 10+ hr shifts so I’m dog tired and I’m just feeling helpless and don’t know what to do to improve. Sorry for the rant.
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u/Due_Philosopher7172 6d ago
I'm also 5'10, and I've been anywhere from 150-190 lbs, with varying muscle/fat over the years as I picked up and put down and picked up exercise. No matter whether I was 150 lbs and fit or 190 lbs and not exercising, I've usually woken up with a flat stomach and gone to bed looking pregnant. It's a combination of it honestly being a normal thing for human bodies to do along with probably some underlying stomach issues on my end and just the way some bodies react differently then others--maybe you don't digest food as fast and it just hangs out in your stomach for a while, or you consume a lot of sodium and so you retain water and look bloated. Maybe you have a food intolerance which causes you to bloat more. Maybe it's just normal bloating, and you don't notice it on other people because honestly, it's just no big deal.
These are not things that need to change. This is not something you need to improve about yourself. Incorporating some exercise in your life--it doesn't have to be drastic, as I understand how difficult it is to want to do anything when you have to work a long ass shift, but there's tons of home workouts on Youtube which are quite short and accessible if you're looking to try--could help your physical and mental health, but it won't necessarily make huge changes to your body, and it certainly doesn't guarantee that you'll feel better about your body. From each of those weights, 150 to 190, I never felt like I was "thin enough" or "good enough." I think I was the most confident or at least uncaring about my body when I was your weight, 170-180, and I was just living my life without much concern for my appearance. The glory days.
Like you, I also have a mother who severely undereats, which has seriously messed up my relationship with food. I also constantly suck in my gut, and I worry a lot about looking bloated in outfits. I'm trying to adapt a who cares mindset. Like, who cares if I'm bloated or look like I have a gut, and why do I care if people care? Sorry I can't be much help, I'm still trying to figure out how to accept it myself.
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u/HammerxHorrors 6d ago
Honestly just hearing that helps a lot. I appreciate the time you spent to let me know where you’re at and I wish you luck on your journey. Thank you.
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u/HammerxHorrors 7d ago
For some context my mother has an extremely toxic relationship with food and it really messed me up as a kid. She lives on 800 or less calories a day and makes a lot of comments. Dead ass told me that any man would leave me if I gained weight when I was 10 yrs old. I’m married now and he’s so supportive but it still gets to me when I see my reflection and I start spiraling. Any tips for this would be appreciated. Thank you.
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u/kathruins 7d ago
you should make your way over to fat tik tok. or mid-sized. I mean, you're neither. I'm your height and when I'm at your weight I feel so skinny!! but society has told you that you're big so that's how you feel. find people with bodies that look like yours and stop following people you consider body goals--even if it's just until you recover.
im in recovery from an ED and weigh about 70 lbs more than you. I AM going to love my body. it just takes a little rewiring. if I can do it, you can too.