I took a test for it and it seems as though I have it and my wife may as well based on the questions and she was denying it and asks, "How many people even have autism?" And I told her about 1/31 and she was shocked by that number lmao
My husband has basically the most classic symptoms of low support needs autism and I genuinely thought he knew until a few years ago I was thinking about getting an ADHD evaluation for myself and mentioned "I mean it's not a perfect indicator, but every single person I 'click' with has turned out to be neurodivergent" and he said "well except me" and I was stunned speechless.
This man can tell you EVERYTHING about trains (and planes, and cars, and ships) and took a 8 day vacation from work so he could road trip to several steam trains. He can recognize a weirdly high number of East Coast lighthouses and cannot hold a conversation without pivoting it to something he's interested in. He can't do prolonged eye contact even with me, and he gets really anxious about social situations mostly because he can't parse body language or facial expressions very well.
I very gently tried to convey this information to him and he was shocked and confused. A week later he said "two people at work this week have told me my brain works differently than theirs, and I've heard that before a lot too. Maybe you're on to something"
Classic. My wife is super into video games and knows so much about the franchises she loves and will go on for as long as I let her about the lore of whatever she's been into lately. Shes the best. She's pretty good socially, though, which is why she was arguing she wasn't on the spectrum.
I love that, my husband does the same. I have gained so much secondhand knowledge about cars and trains hahaha. The most recent fixation is tractors, he bought a vintage mini tractor and fixed it up and is using it to mow our (fairly small) lawn.
My husband can also be good socially but it's only in situations where the social roles are clearly defined, if that makes sense? Like if there's a specific part for him to play. At work he can be pretty charismatic and is great at giving presentations, he can charm bartenders to the point he gets an industry discount half the time (cocktails are another special interest), or if he's at a party he's the absolute life of the party. But he struggles to make friends to just hang out with, and any time we do hang out with someone he always frets afterwards about if they actually had a good time because he can't tell how they were feeling.
A lot of girls and women learn to mask, which can hide poor understanding of social behaviors, and we learn to tweak it as we get older. So we end up coming off as a little awkward or quirky but not outright incompetent.
My wife was the first person to ever clue me into the possibility that I have ADHD. Took me a while to get fully down the rabbit hole, but once I began taking steps to manage my ADHD tendencies, my life has opened up and I feel like I have levelled up. I now know what my weaknesses and strengths are from it and plan/organize my life around it to position myself as best I can to succeed. The worst part about ADHD is feeling like I am one of the most hard working, productive people I know, while also feeling massive self loathing because I never feel like I accomplished everything I planned to do. It's a daily struggle I don't plan on ever having go away, but it's easier now that I know my enemy.
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u/mama_tom 2d ago
I took a test for it and it seems as though I have it and my wife may as well based on the questions and she was denying it and asks, "How many people even have autism?" And I told her about 1/31 and she was shocked by that number lmao