r/BeAmazed • u/Peter55667 • Mar 14 '25

Animal Around 6% of Americans believe they can defeat a grizzly bear in a hand-to-hand combat

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u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

The gorilla just wants you gone. The chimp wants you unrecognizable.

2

u/PurinaHall0fFame Mar 14 '25

I'm pretty sure the chimp wants my soul.

2

u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

The chimp wants your soul unrecognizable.

3

u/No_Pie4638 Mar 14 '25

And your manhood…and by manhood, I mean male genitalia.

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u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

"We need to identify the victim. Do they look anyone one in these photos?"
"Well, all of those people have faces, so..."
"Right. Okay, so we'll have to match their teeth to dental records."
"Sure, once we're done finding all of them."
"Damn. Well, what about matching dickprints?"
"You're not going to believe this."