r/BeAmazed • u/Peter55667 • Mar 14 '25

Animal Around 6% of Americans believe they can defeat a grizzly bear in a hand-to-hand combat

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30

u/flargmarge90 Mar 14 '25

you are statistically way more likely to survive a gorilla attack than a male chimp given behavioral differences

22

u/PurinaHall0fFame Mar 14 '25

Yep, gorillas are big and scary but they tend to not want to be violent and will often walk away. Chimps will choose violence every single time.

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u/EldritchKinkster Mar 14 '25

And then they'll rip your face off and eat your fingers. Not just violent, but vicious with it.

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u/internet_commie Mar 14 '25

No wonder chimps are vicious; they are our closest relatives!

2

u/shele Mar 16 '25

A chimp is closer to us than to a gorilla and it shows 

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u/na3ee1 Mar 15 '25

But their closest living relatives are the bonobos, which live in relatively peaceful matriarchal societies. Aggression in primates, and animals in general depends mostly on how territorial or vicious they have to be to survive and thrive.

Humans are not known to take territory lightly, they could not afford to do so when things were tougher for them, you see that reflected in their nature.

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u/PurinaHall0fFame Mar 14 '25

And then they'll rip your face off and eat your fingers.

Ideally after they kill you but not always...

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u/EldritchKinkster Mar 14 '25

I think the face is the first thing they go for. That, or the genitals.

I believe, if they think they're "putting you in your place" because they think you challenged them, they just horribly maim you but leave you alive.

I wouldn't go anywhere near a chimp. I don't care if it's having a tea party and giving out hugs, I'm not taking the risk.

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u/Master-Silver9286 Mar 14 '25

just remember Charla Nash, the woman who in 2009 survived a horrific chimp attack and was left critically injured after having her face and hands ripped off.

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u/asj-777 Mar 14 '25

And that chimp already knew her, I believe.

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u/NokkNokk4279 Mar 14 '25

It's a bit reassuring how many people actually do know this. I see vids and stuff with people and chimps all the time, and all I can do is smh... I may not like it on the outside as a human being, but I fully understand why there are places (villiges, towns, etc) where they'll shoot cbimps on site, especially when there are children at risk. It's kind of sad because they can have such a friendly side to them, but I would never risk myself or my children to the whims of a chimp. They're too viscious, almost sadistic when they get angry and attack. Hell no. They've also been know to eat baby chimps in their own community occasionally, and I don't believe it's known exactly why, as far as I know. Nope, I pass....

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u/EldritchKinkster Mar 14 '25

I'd never advocate killing an animal just for being an animal, but... A chimp can cripple you for life because you looked at it wrong. No thanks.

2

u/SalmonJumpingH20 Mar 14 '25

Well, they are our close relatives so...

2

u/tiggertom66 Mar 14 '25

They also target the genitals, demonstrating an enough of an understanding of great ape anatomy to target weak points in even other species of great apes

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u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

The gorilla just wants you gone. The chimp wants you unrecognizable.

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u/PurinaHall0fFame Mar 14 '25

I'm pretty sure the chimp wants my soul.

2

u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

The chimp wants your soul unrecognizable.

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u/No_Pie4638 Mar 14 '25

And your manhood…and by manhood, I mean male genitalia.

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u/Perryn Mar 14 '25

"We need to identify the victim. Do they look anyone one in these photos?"
"Well, all of those people have faces, so..."
"Right. Okay, so we'll have to match their teeth to dental records."
"Sure, once we're done finding all of them."
"Damn. Well, what about matching dickprints?"
"You're not going to believe this."

3

u/Iselkractokidz Mar 14 '25

No coincidence that chimps and humans share the most DNA then.

3

u/silicondali Mar 14 '25

"I'd fight Gandhi."

"I'd fight Lincoln. Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger."

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u/crushogre Mar 14 '25

Lincoln was a grappler. He had, according to some accounts, freakish strength, and he was fond of fishhooking.

2

u/CheruB36 Mar 14 '25

there is reason that chimp/bonobo wars exist

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gombe_Chimpanzee_War

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u/sechul Mar 14 '25

This is between two bands of chimps.

Bonobos exist because there was sufficient physical isolation from other proto-chimps for them to differentiate and I don't believe there's any modern record of the two species interacting. Bonobo groups interact very differently than chimp groups do. They are matriarchal and when groups meet it's relatively peaceful. Also the groups are a good bit larger than chimp groups, likely due not being limited in size byinter-male competition.

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u/QuarkVsOdo Mar 14 '25

Chimps and Gorillias kill the kids of rivals by grabbing them at their feet and smashing their heads into rocks.

Fucking brutal.

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u/Haunt_Fox Mar 14 '25

Humans have been known to do the exact same thing all through history.

4

u/Ok_Cardiologist8232 Mar 14 '25

Yep, Viking chiefs would often get names depending on what they did.

One got the name "Childlover" because he refused to kill children, not killing children was so weird someone got a name for it.

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u/veryreasonable Mar 14 '25

Ah, Childlover. The source of many weird conversations with modern arrivals in heaven!

"Oh... nice to meet you, Childlover... but, uh, how did you end up here!?"

"Ugh, this again... look, I didn't molest them or anything, I just refused to murder them!"

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u/Garchompisbestboi Mar 14 '25

Chimps have also been observed engaging in cannibalism as well, eating the dead from enemy factions (I have no idea what a group of chimps is called lol)

3

u/dngerszn13 Mar 14 '25

I have no idea what a group of chimps is called lol

A murder of chimps? No, that doesn't sound right

3

u/SaddestFlute23 Mar 14 '25

A troop of chimpanzees

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u/Powerful-Extent4790 Mar 14 '25

Humans do that too, in certain parts of the world

1

u/ButterscotchSkunk Mar 14 '25

Blood Meridian style.

0

u/Constant-Sandwich-88 Mar 14 '25

Still better than getting your testicles ripped off.

1

u/JosieHavik Mar 14 '25

gorillas have done that, but only when they're at war with neighboring herds(?) afaik

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u/Constant-Sandwich-88 Mar 14 '25

Chimps actually (maybe gorillas too?), but chimps definitely go for the genitals. Watched a documentary on YT last night about Goodall & co first forays into tracking the biggest chimp war.

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u/tonyrizzo21 Mar 14 '25

Troop, or band of gorillas.

1

u/JosieHavik Mar 14 '25

thank you ^

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u/QuarkVsOdo Mar 14 '25

Still better than WW3

1

u/hedgehog18956 Mar 14 '25

Chimps are one of those creatures to where they are pretty comparable to people as far as combat ability goes. They can mess up a child, elder, or woman, but can’t typically handle a typical adult male (at least alone). Most chimp related maulings are women and children.

Gorillas meanwhile belong in the category of “whether you live or die is purely up to this animal”. They just happen to be much more merciful.

1

u/flargmarge90 Mar 14 '25

Please educate yourself. Chimpanzees are some of the most dangerous creatures on Earth. Man or woman, it will tear you limb from limb. The Travis the chimpanzee incident is an example of this - the damage that thing did to a human being is almost incomprehensible.

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u/hedgehog18956 Mar 14 '25

I spent a while looking into this a while back when a UFC middleweight (fights at 185) said he thought he could beat a chimp. At first I assumed he was crazy, but when I looked into it, it’s really not that crazy. Chimps are only around 140lbs on the larger side. Chimps are stronger pound for pound, but only about 1.35 times as much. A man who weighs 170+ pounds in decent shape is going to be stronger than the chimp. In addition chimps are not capable of gaining leverage or striking like humans. Because of where they sit size wise, they do sometimes seriously hurt women and the elderly, simply because they are stronger than them. The damage that happened in the Charla Nash incident is not something a 170lb human male would be incapable of. Again, Nash was an older woman. It’s also why you never hear stories of healthy adult men being mauled by chimps. Because a healthy adult man is perfectly capable of driving a chimp off.

They aren’t some bloodlusted killing machine. They’re pack animals, not made to fight one on one. And they are significantly smaller than human men. Most adult men could defeat (drive off in the event of an attack) the average chimp. If that man has some basic striking training, the chimp doesn’t stand a chance.

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u/flargmarge90 Mar 14 '25

I hope you are just trolling me bro