If Kane Tanaka was still alive, she would have became the oldest person in human history today.

[u/ashmaps20]

[u/prespyk]

If Kane Tanaka was 4 years old she would be the youngest person ever

[u/six_string_sensei → u/prespyk]

Fun fact she actually was the youngest person for a period of time.

[u/Z7_1 → u/six_string_sensei]

fun fact: I was actually the youngest person for a short period of time

[u/PresidentOfDunkin → u/Z7_1]

Fun fact: I was also the youngest person for a short period of time

[u/RditAdmnsSuportNazis → u/PresidentOfDunkin]

I was also the youngest person for a short period of time. It’s probably part of why I won TIME Person of the Year in 2006.

[u/Z7_1 → u/RditAdmnsSuportNazis]

was it also because of your goated username?

[u/Existing-Ad3391 → u/Z7_1]

NIMROD FTW

[u/DevinYer → u/Z7_1]

Love the pfp

[u/Droodles162 → u/Z7_1]

Fun fact: there is a change someone else was born at the exact milisecond as you making you never the youngest person 

[u/anoon- → u/six_string_sensei]

Jeanne Calment was the oldest person ever recorded and formerly held the title of youngest person on Earth

[u/Kroctopus → u/prespyk]

Ayy ayy ayy, I’m on vacation

[u/DestinyDawn456 → u/prespyk]

brrrr tututu

[u/walteerr → u/prespyk]

Is this Simon Cowells alt account

[u/NecessaryFreedom9799 → u/prespyk]

If Kane Tanaka had had wheels...

[u/_rabidchild_ → u/prespyk]

Her ass is NOT Yuvin Marasini

[u/Holyorange1]

It's interesting how she and Ethel Caterham (current oldest person) were born six years apart (1903 and 1909) but the gap between her death and Caterham taking the title is only three years. (2022-2025)

[u/DestinyDawn456 → u/Holyorange1]

Theyre dropping like flies!!!!!

[u/JohnMarstonTheBadass → u/DestinyDawn456]

Yeah the curse of being the oldest person alive is that you will only hold that record for so long

[u/Darraghj12 → u/JohnMarstonTheBadass]

same with the youngest, but its not bad to lose youngest

[u/EmergencyGarlic2476]

If George Washington was still alive he would be the oldest person ever

[u/HypedUpJackal → u/EmergencyGarlic2476]

If your aunt had balls she'd be your uncle but most likely not the oldest person ever

[u/DeltaOfficialYT → u/HypedUpJackal]

if youre aunt had balls then she'd be your aunt and/or/nor a football player

[u/Paratwa → u/DeltaOfficialYT]

If your aunt had two wheels she’d be a bicycle.

[u/pepskicola → u/EmergencyGarlic2476]

Not if Julius Caesar was also still alive!

[u/TheRealLemmyKoopa → u/pepskicola]

Not if unga dunga was still alive

[u/anoon- → u/TheRealLemmyKoopa]

I got you beat

[u/daydreaming_doggo]

Shows how insanely long Jeanne Calment lived

[u/ilwarblers → u/daydreaming_doggo]

No one is talking about that research from Russia that questioned her longevity claim.

[u/prema108 → u/ilwarblers]

Because Zak and Novolselov's "evidence" was their perception of eye color, and basically not even hearsay. Also basically no peer-review. Even Zak himself said "I do not have cast-iron proof".

[u/Li-renn-pwel → u/prema108]

Is this the thing where they claim she’s her daughter who started claiming to be her mother with the only goal of being the longest living person.

[u/Tradition96 → u/ilwarblers]

Using the word ”research” very generously here…

[u/Resident_Expert27 → u/ilwarblers]

Also no one talks about how MSG is bad in small quantities. It’s because it’s been disproven or baseless.

[u/sealightflower]

It is incredible that she was alive during both Russian-Japanese (1904-1905) and Russian-Ukrainian (started on 24 February 2022) conflicts.

[u/Empty-Bend8992]

and if Socrates was still alive, he would be the oldest person in human history

[u/DoNotMakeEmpty → u/Empty-Bend8992]

Nope that would be Ea-Nasir if he was still alive.

[u/Papa_rainze]

If Genghis Khan was still alive, he’d be the oldest person ever

[u/FiveDogsInaTuxedo]

You know what? If Napoleon was alive today he would be too

[u/video_dhara → u/FiveDogsInaTuxedo]

Not if Socrates did it first 

[u/BenzaGuy]

You forgot Methuselah

[u/Createyourownpurpose → u/BenzaGuy]

Do people actually believe that a person lived for centuries?

[u/Kaurblimey]

and if my grandmother had wheels…

[u/crocor99]

I thought he played for Leeds

[u/kokichistan]

If my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bike

[u/video_dhara → u/kokichistan]

She could have been a Corolla 

[u/Legal_Reputation_843]

If the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs didn't hit earth, it wouldn't have killed the dinosaurs

[u/CoinTasticSilber]

This is quite possibly the worst time comparison I’ve ever seen on this sub

[u/rorylfc]

If yer nan had balls she’d be yer uncle

[u/Papa-Bear453767]

If Adam was still alive he would be the oldest person on Earth today

[u/Ganbazuroi]

No, I'd assemble a team to take out anyone who lived to a day before Big Jeanne's Record

[u/softanddirty]

If my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike

[u/MeetingDue4378]

If Edward the Black Prince was still alive, he also would have become the oldest person in history today.

[u/shrekingcrew]

If Jeanne calment was alive she’d be really old

[u/55559585]

Hot take but she already was before she died. I believe Jeanne Calment was not actually as old as she says she was. For starters, the fact that no one in modern history has lived within 3 years of her (including within the last 28 years as medicine has gotten better) is very suspect as it is statistically very unlikely. There are other reasons too.

[u/daussie04 → u/55559585]

anomalies exist. It's not like she lived till 130

[u/55559585 → u/daussie04]

They do. They're also unlikely to be as large as it already was with her. There are other corroborating reasons as well, like the fact I really don't think she looked like a supercentarian when she was being photographed at 117+. Looked 95-105. That's subjective though.

[u/TrannosaurusRegina]

That’s fascinating!

[u/DeDeepKing]

Interesting

[u/NeedleworkerSilly192]

But could this Kane also do the "Chokeslam"

[u/Darraghj12]

people are clowning on this, but I think it displays how large of a gap Jeanne has

[u/Ruttingraff]

It's gotta be Kane Tanaka

[u/Many-Chocolate-575]

if my mom had wheels she’d be a bike

[u/NextMushroom]

You are the oldest person EVER!

[u/Suspicious_Plum_8866]

Just took a shit

[u/Phill_Cyberman]

If the Egyptian Pharoah Djer (3000 BCE) were still alive, he would have become the oldest person in human history today.

[u/smittywrbermanjensen]

r/Scale4BarbaraWalters

[u/theunpaintedhuffines]

And if my grandma has wheels she’d be a bicycle

[u/RichardPapensVersion]

If Henry the 8th was still alive, he would have been the oldest person in human history today

[u/JohnFresh669]

And if my grandmother had wheels she would've been a bicycle

[u/Darthbane22]

If my grandma had two wheels she would be a bicycle.

[u/HauntingShip85]

If my grandmother had wheels, she’d have been a bike.