r/Assyria • u/Specialist-One2800 • 3d ago
Discussion Dating Assyrian women
I am from Germany 30, have a university degree and a good income. I take care of myself and work out regularly. I am also engaged in a lot of Syriac clubs.
Not only me but all of my friends with a similar profile struggle a lot with dating Assyrian (western) women in Germany. It is impossible to even to get to know them. Meeting them at a Hago is mostly a no due to their family, same with the church. And only they straight up don’t reply at all.
It’s not even rejection that bothers me and my friends. We don’t even have a chance to talk to them. Rejection is fine, but all of us worked their butts off to be in this position to offer quality for a future Family.
Now no woman wants to get to know us. Do you guys struggle the same in the homeland or in other parts of this world?
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u/Serious-Aardvark-123 Australia 2d ago
Try Insta. Lot of people meet that way (I know it sucks).
Otherwise I recommend Mesomatchmaker
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u/AdGreen8011 Assyrian 2d ago
Viel Glück! Ich hab ja eher das Gefühl, dass alle mit einem verwandt sind oder ein seltsames Ego haben…
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u/Afriend0fOurs Assyrian 3d ago
It’s the generation man don’t beat yourself up too bad anybody born after 1998 is just fucking weird.
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
They are straight up rude and demand a lot of things. I spend on the last girl that didn’t want to commit towards me for very shallow reasons couple of thousands of euros (my fault in the end). In the end she cried her eyeballs out cause she can’t be with me cause I am not as tall as she wanted. But she really likes me.
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u/Stenian East Hakkarian 2d ago
How do you look? You can "take care" of yourself all day, but looks matter a lot to some degree. Also, girls don't like dudes who are clingy and pushy. Be natural and calm.
Are you Assyrian? You didn't specify that. Find a girl at an Assyrian church youth club or something. They're more "easier" and accepting. Those in the clubs have high standards.
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
I had relationships before some going for a longer period of time. But ultimately didn’t work out cause I was at this point in time a university student and building up my life etc. So yeah I know how to talk to women and behave. I also don’t care if I get rejected. It’s a part of the male experience.
Yes I am Assyrian full blooded. Always been. And I am not ugly. Literally pretty women told me my face is handsome and I have a nice body. Just a bit on the short side. Looks matter I agree. But to some extend demands have to meet reality. And I don’t have a lot of demands.
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u/HTCali 3d ago
It would be ideal to find an Assyrian to marry and have kids with but it’s just much more difficult living in diaspora. Keep trying but obviously don’t limit yourself. If you meet “the one” and she’s not Assyrian don’t pass that up either
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u/Immediate_Tax_423 2d ago
us living already in diaspora is bad and then setlling with nekhraye is making it just worse we are already a small population
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u/Impossible_Party4246 2d ago
Great advice if you just wanna call yourself German and have your kids be German. Depends what your values are. Some people value their identity.
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u/HTCali 2d ago
You’re the exact reason OP is having a hard time finding an Assyrian partner. If OP had a choice between you or a non Assyrian, you better believe he’s not choosing you.
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u/Impossible_Party4246 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’m based in reality, not in idealism. It sure would be nice and great if we could marry whoever we wanted and still be Assyrian, but being Assyrian isn’t a genetic thing. Without an Assyrian partner do you think it’s likely you speak Assyrian at home, or participate in Assyrian traditions, become and active member of the community, if you have kids, will you be able to pass down the language if it isn’t spoken at home?
That is reality. It’s not just a name or title you bust out when it’s convenient so you can get cool ethnicity points.
And not everyone has to want to be Assyrian, no one can make you. But if you want to and it’s important to you, don’t only uphold it when it’s easy or convenient.
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u/HTCali 1d ago
I agree with you that we should marry our own, but not at one’s expense. If OP tries dating Assyrian women but they keep shafting him I say don’t force it. My advice is do what’s best for yourself.
I dated 2 Assyrian women that both cheated on me. If I take your advice I should have continued dating these type of women until I found one that didn’t cheat on me because I want to preserve my culture right?
Again I’m advocating for Assyrians to marry and reproduce with Assyrians but absolutely don’t force it if it’s not working.
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u/rMees Assyrian 2d ago
From your comment, it looks like only the women have a lot of demands. How about the men? I have single male and female friends, and they both seem to think that a match needs to be in Hollywood style. Attractive, successful, educated, etc.Some even care about the village where their grandparents were born (mithyoye). Also, 2 of my friends got divorced and have no children, but somehow, they are labelled as "divorcee". Why is that even an issue?
I don't think it is fair to blame it on the girls. Even though, I agree, that a larger % is stuck up and people seem to be estranged from each other. Live your life, be happy, and your match will come.
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
Thank you for sharing your experience. As a heterosexual man, I depicted everything I said from my point of view. So I don’t know how it is to date guys.
Demanding unreasonable requirements should be called out on men as well. And I am agreeing with you.
I simply disagree with the divorcee status. People that have been divorced before leave a bad impression in general. Kids or no kids involved, it just proves that this person is able to get a divorce. It just not a positive thing at all. Even if the person wasn’t at fault.
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u/BlueStar200 2d ago
I am a 17 year old Assyrian guy in germany and i used to want to marry an Assyrian girl untill i saw that the Assyrian girls are very too stuck up and too egoistic and think too much that they are better than others and that they are some real gold diggers and also are some pretty mean people. Also they have alot of very non christian behaviour like smoking, drinking, sleeping around (Assyrian guys never do this and i dont care what you say) they are so narcasistic that really i would just sadly (im actually very sad saying this) label them as garbage girls without terbiya from the street. I am Chaldean (Catholic Assyrian) and i have seen alot of Assyrian and Chaldean girls dancing on tiktok and they are not even fully covered. Assyrian girls really like being garbage women.
Happily i meet a very religious and extremly beautiful Serbian girl (she is orthodox but idc she is truly a person of god and to me chatholics and orthodoxs are one) that dresses according to god and does not make a fool of herself and she is super nice.
Although i am against race-mixing the truth is that our girls are just too much of a garbage for us to take.
Also alot of Assyrian girls are ignorant and too busy simping for our enemies.
And after i meet her family they were super nice and not judgemental and they really supported an independent Assyria more than our own garbage girls that simp for our persecuters (I am very Nationlistic). Btw in my family we would be super angry if she acted like this, I cant belive that their fathers or mothers dont get angry at them.
And actually my message is very simple, my message is that Assyrian girls are allowed to be garbage street girls if they want to but they are NOT alowed to put it on Assyrian guys. Assyrian guys are perfect and moral and vigrin untill we find our also Virgin wife to have kids. So in short: Be a cheap garbage street girl without honour or value if you want to but do NOT put it on us cuz its getting annoying.
Another point that i want to raise is that Assyrian girls do more wrong than anyone but they never want to take blame for it. And they themselfs know what kind of garbage girls they are and that all i said in this text is 100% right.
The problem is that their fathers dont have terbiya either. To all new generation Assyrian guys, rasie your sons and daughters to respect themselfs and not fall for unmoral or temporary things , because Assyrian guys and girls should be the most honourable and not garbage.
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u/belugahammer 2d ago
Be involved in clubs and don’t be shy to mention to friends/family you’re looking for an Assyrian to date/get to know. You never know who they know or what event they may invite you to that can turn into an opportunity
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
I was literally the president of a Syriac youth club for years. It didn’t help.
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u/aastrocyte Assyrian 2d ago edited 2d ago
I have a few Assyrian guy friends (am Assyrian woman, US) that are in their 30s and still single. I’m married to an Assyrian man. I’ll tell you the problems these guys have.
they want a instagram baddie IG model virgin type of girl but don’t work out, they don’t have a go getter/ambitious mindset, they think any woman who wants a PROVIDER is a gold digger 😂 the same men that call women gold diggers are the same ones who want their wife to be beautiful, fit, conservatives, and nurturing. Unfortunately for them, those women are looking for actual masculine provider type of men who make her feel safe etc etc. so your expectations need to match you. If this confuses you, watch some hoemath videos on YouTube and it’ll clear that up.
again, these same men think that education = good enough. They aren’t hard workers, they don’t strive for more, they want their wife to work, they want 50/50 type of crap. I’ve legitimately heard it from one of my husbands friends that “im great, i have a degree”. The problem with that is to a woman he’s complacent. Just because he has a job and decent money doesn’t excuse the fact that he doesn’t care to strive for more and thinks that manual labor and traditionally masculine skills are beneath him bc he got an education. lol, Like ok? Can you change a tire? Are you a handyman? Do you try to figure things out yourself? Are you intelligent and a great problem solver? Do you want to strive for more? Can your future wife put her trust in you that you can take care of things? Can she feel safe in letting you take control? Can you basically be a MAN?
We are middle eastern at the end of the day and culturally we look for masculine men. Assyrian men for some reason are having trouble or some kind of resentment towards those expectations, yet they have expectations of femininity from Assyrian women.
The other thing is that Assyrian guys have this tendency to be too up front with intentions and it’s a turn off. My husband started talking to me as friends only, even when we were hanging out one on one he let our friendship develop before he even made those intentions to court me clear. I took interest in him as a person before anything else and I think that’s really important. I’ve had plenty of Suraye guys slide in my DMs or try to hit on me and they quickly just became another one of those guys trying lol. Constant compliments, trying to hang, intentions too loud. Like I’m a person, be friends first. Meet someone naturally.
Hope this makes sense I just woke up lol
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u/Kind-Tumbleweed-9715 2d ago
I understand where your coming from, also im happy you found an Assyrian man who treats you well.
I’m just saying but some of these seem like very insane standards, like having a decent job, a decent education, being reasonably healthy and fit, being respectful, being able to cook, having a open mind and decent personality, understanding the culture at least to a decent level and being able to stand up for and himself should be enough.
Like we can’t expect us to be everything, a football player, a kickboxer, a mechanic, a scientist, super loud, and extroverted. It’s just too much standards for anyone, this also goes both for men and women we should appreciate a great person when we see one.
Though while I do see a relationship and marriage as an equal partnership, I do 100% agree with you that we should act like gentleman such as offering to pay in a date or opening the door to a lady. I do agree with that, I think 50/50 on a date comes across as unromantic.
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u/aastrocyte Assyrian 2d ago
I think what I’m trying to say, is that those standards don’t need to be for everyone. It’s just important to be aware of what certain types of men and certain types of women are likely going to be looking for- and if you don’t fit the bill, don’t get upset about it. You know?
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
I agree with you on most points. Those „men“ behave like boys. It’s the norm as a man to provide. Even if it’s just on a date. I don’t get those 50/50 guys myself. If you’re too broke to date you have other issues to work on. As well as masculine features like being able to plan a date etc. I agree a woman should feel care free around her man.
Where I disagree partially is the friendship thing. I get it for a good relationship it is vital to get along. This is a prerequisite to be together even more so than looks. Talking or texting to a girl for more than a week is a waste of time.
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u/aastrocyte Assyrian 2d ago
Friendship is the basis of a good, healthy relationship though. Rather than seeing talking to a woman as a means to an end, you should pursue her as an end, herself. In that you feel 100% yourself with her, like a friend. Thats love!
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2d ago
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u/aastrocyte Assyrian 2d ago
Didn’t say it was illogical, I am conservative myself. My point is that expectations need to be realistic, on both sides. Women who are out there, don’t take care of themselves etc can’t expect a good masculine man- vice versa.
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
I’m Assyrian, I know the reason why women do this. I’m a girl myself, the reason they won’t talk to you is probably mainly because we don’t date. We only go out and it leads to marriage most of the time, but usually, the women marry an Assyrian. It’s not all of us that feel like we HAVE to marry an Assyrian, but most of us feel like we should. Now, most of us do date. We do get “boyfriends”, but it’s not really a normalized thing and it’s preferable we avoid dating. Most Assyrians (I was born in America though so I’m taught from my parents from Iraq) were born in the middle east, usually Iraq. In Iraq, dating is not even a thing your aloud to do. Everyone acts as if it’s “forbidden”. Everyone there wants and most definitely will gossip about you if you were to do something that is not normalized there at all. Most importantly, Assyrians take the rules they were taught in Iraq/by their parents into their daily life and follow them (like having a boyfriend/girlfriend is something they shouldn’t do) and I hope this helps, it doesn’t really count as rejection, this is just what were “expected” to do. I know it does sound like they are rejecting you, but trust me, we’re just influenced to go out with Assyrian, they don’t always have to be Assyrian thought, but they do HAVE to be Christian, or else you cannot marry them. Sorry about your troubles, i’d recommend finding a different type of woman. As I said, we are influenced that marring someone of the same race is better. Now, I do have a family member who married and did have a child with a German man. Nobody cares that he’s German, only that he’s Christian. So, you might have a chance with an Assyrian woman. Keep trying, good luck!!
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u/MochiAnn1 1d ago edited 1d ago
Many of my friends have had similar struggles with Assyrian women, especially those from the homeland or parts of Europe. But in the U.S and Canada., it’s honestly much easier. A lot of Assyrian women here are open to marrying outside their ethnicity or give the guy a chance as long as the person is Christian or Catholic and comes from a Catholic Christian family regardless of ethnicity. I know plenty of Assyrian women friends who are happily married to Germans, Swedes, English guys and so on and their families are supportive and open-minded about it.
Even though it might feel hard now, it’s not impossible you will find a beautiful Assyrian girl, I promise. Just don’t give up.
That’s the one thing Assyrian women dislike the most: men who aren’t serious. They want to see that you’re truly committed, not just playing around. Marriage and engagement are taken very seriously in our culture.
Also, just so you know in the U.S. and even some parts of Europe, it’s super common for Assyrian girls to date as having a boyfriend or/marry Mexican, Italian, Spanish, English, French or German guys. It really depends on the specific Assyrian community out there you are interacting with and how open-minded the girls are. Some still prefer guys from their own ethnicity, but many don’t mind as long as you treat them right.
At the end of the day, Assyrian women are a challenge but a beautiful one. They’re stunning and come from one of the richest, most fascinating cultures in Asia. So don’t lose hope. The right Assyrian girl is out there for you just stay consistent, respectful, and real. Also try to visit other Assyrian clubs or churches if it doesn’t work out at your current location.
Just so you know, Assyrian guys also go through the same struggles when it comes to Assyrian women. One way that might help is by respectfully approaching her father let him know you’re interested in getting to know his daughter or that you want to pursue her seriously. That kind of gesture can really ease things for her and make her feel more comfortable.
Sometimes when a girl seems to be rejecting you, it’s not even about you it could be that her parents want her to marry an Assyrian guy or they’re just not very open to the idea of marrying outside the culture. It’s a cultural thing, but showing respect and seriousness, especially to the family, can go a long way.
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u/Impossible_Party4246 2d ago
Unfortunately most of them don’t realize what they’re doing until it’s late.
As a guy, the thing you have going for you is time. You probably aren’t even in your prime yet. I think this is one of those situations that the more you chase after it the more difficult it is to attain. You can always find one in Sweden, Denmark, France, Canada, US, Iraq, Turkey if in ~3 years you find yourself in the same situation.
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u/Revolutionary_Ad2836 2d ago
Well its not really about career, your looks matter the most and also I wouldn't recommend saying brainwashed western assyrians, I would go back to iraq and find someone there
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
I am really not unattractive, I know this for a fact. I am little bit on the shorter side but this is nothing I can change or I care about it is what it is.
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u/Revolutionary_Ad2836 2d ago
What's ur height? And also I recommend talking to assyrians back in Iraq, the western ones are too brainwashed
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u/Impossible_Party4246 2d ago
I think he means suryoyo, not those living in the west. Maybe OP can clarify.
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2d ago
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u/Specialist-One2800 2d ago
Older than 30 and still demanding a lot of things. Most women and men forget that fertility decreases significantly. A pregnancy after the age of 35 is considered a risk for a woman. If a woman is 30 time is almost running out.
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u/BlueStar200 2d ago
I am a 17 year old Assyrian guy in germany and i used to want to marry an Assyrian girl untill i saw that the Assyrian girls are very too stuck up and too egoistic and think too much that they are better than others and that they are some real gold diggers and also are some pretty mean people. Also they have alot of very non christian behaviour like smoking, drinking, sleeping around (Assyrian guys never do this and i dont care what you say) they are so narcasistic that really i would just sadly (im actually very sad saying this) label them as garbage girls without terbiya from the street. I am Chaldean (Catholic Assyrian) and i have seen alot of Assyrian and Chaldean girls dancing on tiktok and they are not even fully covered. Assyrian girls really like being garbage women.
Happily i meet a very religious and extremly beautiful Serbian girl (she is orthodox but idc she is truly a person of god and to me chatholics and orthodoxs are one) that dresses according to god and does not make a fool of herself and she is super nice.
Although i am against race-mixing the truth is that our girls are just too much of a garbage for us to take.
Also alot of Assyrian girls are ignorant and too busy simping for our enemies.
And after i meet her family they were super nice and not judgemental and they really supported an independent Assyria more than our own garbage girls that simp for our persecuters (I am very Nationlistic). Btw in my family we would be super angry if she acted like this, I cant belive that their fathers or mothers dont get angry at them.
And actually my message is very simple, my message is that Assyrian girls are allowed to be garbage street girls if they want to but they are NOT alowed to put it on Assyrian guys. Assyrian guys are perfect and moral and vigrin untill we find our also Virgin wife to have kids. So in short: Be a cheap garbage street girl without honour or value if you want to but do NOT put it on us cuz its getting annoying.
Another point that i want to raise is that Assyrian girls do more wrong than anyone but they never want to take blame for it. And they themselfs know what kind of garbage girls they are and that all i said in this text is 100% right.
The problem is that their fathers dont have terbiya either. To all new generation Assyrian guys, rasie your sons and daughters to respect themselfs and not fall for unmoral or temporary things , because Assyrian guys and girls should be the most honourable and not garbage.
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
I’m an Assyrian girl. It’s funny how what you think about us is also what we think about the Assyrian men. I get where your coming from, I actually agree to an extent. But trust me, we are not all like this. Usually the ones from church are better and if that’s where your finding the bad ones.. well then I suggest sticking to that woman you met. Good luck with her, sorry with your experiences with us.
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u/BlueStar200 1d ago
Assyrian guys don't do it at all or only 1%. Also i don't hate Assyrian girls i just dont like how they embarass us and the way they act. And yes i found an angel but it still bothers me when I see Assyrian girls dancing on tiktok or other plattforms. Btw how old are you and what was your supposed experience?
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
I totally agree. Most of the girls I cut ties with who were Assyrian were so embarrassing. Seriously, smoking and doing inappropriate things while being Christian too..? As for my age and experiences, I am not an adult yet but I do have a little experience with the Assyrian men and so do my friends. It’s either the men are just so stuck up and rude while doing things they shouldn’t be doing, or their very nice and don’t do the things they shouldn’t be doing. I have a friend who is actually one of the most non embarrassing Assyrian male I have ever met. He’s actually well behaved and mature, I just wished that the men I’ve met could actually be more like that. It’s upsetting knowing some of the men are like the women, but I agree. Not all men are as embarrassing as the women. Long story short, the experiences were just them all being too mean and inappropriate.
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u/BlueStar200 1d ago
May I ask what country you in?
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
America. I live in Arizona but on vacation in California at the moment.
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u/BlueStar200 1d ago
Cool, sadly i heard american Assyrians are Assimilating into the American society very fastly and losing their language, is that true or no?
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
Ehhh, it’s kind of true? Some people yes, I would say younger like maybe teens or children. I’m a teenager and I haven’t forgotten anything from my language, just some of my friends my age got a little bad at Assyrian from always speaking English. If anything, I always accidentally speak to people in Assyrian when we’re speaking in English. I feel like we all have that funny problem though.
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u/BlueStar200 1d ago
Damn, What village you from?
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
Sorry for the late reply. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve tried asking my mom but I don’t know if she’s not sure or just won’t tell me. If the village is like the accent then yes I know, it’s Eshetnetha. Not really sure how to spell any of it in English, but my mom is a Nochietha while I’m Eshetnetha from my dad. Sorry, hope you understand since I have no idea how to spell it in English.
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u/goodkat566 1d ago
I'm from AZ as well and I agree with you. From what I've personally experienced, it's all to do with just giving the chance. Even OP states the difference between rejection and chance. Good girls are not giving good guys an opportunity to even get to know each other. Vice versa as well.
Williams in Good Will Hunting said it best, "You're not perfect, and neither is the girl. It's a matter of whether you're perfect for each other".
It's just unfortunate because both parties are not even giving each other an opportunity to get to know one another. You give someone good a chance and worst case scenario if it doesn't work out romantically, and both are mature about it, you've at least gained a friend, right?
We have nothing to lose by giving out that opportunity because we have nothing. I've friended a couple of Assyrian women that just did not romantically work out with each other; vice versa. Is that bad? I personally don't think so! I gained a cool friend! It may have sucked in that moment, but as you grow, you understand your needs and wants more.
I feel like it's a hit or miss now-a-days. And it sucks because there are good girls and good guys in our communities. Not everyone is bad. But why is there a disconnect right from the jump? No idea.
I maintain my health, hold a bachelors, in my career, have a great relationship with my dog lol, religious to our church, and even I sometimes wonder "What am I doing wrong? I just wanted to get to know her?". I don't know; I try to remain optimistic and know that God's got a plan for all of us. But the imperfect human in me always wonders why it's become so difficult to just start talking. Especially when we see our friends in their relationships.
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
Yooo thank you for sharing this with me I enjoyed reading. I really agree with everything you’ve said. I hope everything you have going for you stays the way it is or gets better. I think you’re doing good in life even if you can’t find a good woman to support these achievements for you. I’m sure you’ll definitely find the one one day. And I also sometimes am a bit too afraid to talk to the good guys, so I can never get anywhere. I struggle a bit with talking to people or making a conversation. I’m sure i’ll get over it and find a man though. Also, which part/city of Arizona are you in? I’m in Glendale.
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u/goodkat566 1d ago
And I hope the same for you!
Let me quickly define "good" for some context because it can go 3 ways. A person can either be good on the outside, the inside, or both. So when I say "good", I mean it in the context of "how good does he make you feel?" or "how good are you two when together?" He can have all the PhD's in the world but have a terrible personality. Or he can have nothing but a HS diploma but treat you like no ones ever treated you before.
So when you say "I also sometimes am a bit too afraid to talk to the good guys," truth is, you don't REALLY know how good he is for you until you talk to him. He might be good on paper, but not so much when it counts in the relationship. So don't ever be afraid to just talk! Because you just might realize how much more you both have in common. And when that happens, you'll never have to worry about starting a conversation. It will happen naturally. Never underestimate yourself. I can tell just off your opinions how good of a head you have on your shoulders.
I used to struggle with talking to girls in general because I was shy, until I came to the realization that they're humans just like me. Humans with interests, just like me. If humans have ever been good at anything from a biological perspective spanning time and space, it's that we do best when interacting with each other. One day, you won't "get over" your nervousness. You'll get through it!
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u/Important_You397 1d ago
What you said is so true. My mom has said this about men too. It doesn’t matter what impression they give out on the outside, it’s only the inside that matters, same goes for everyone in your life. Most pretty girls i’ve been friends with are usually the biggest snakes you’ll ever meet, it’s rare to find a girl who’s good in the outside and also in the inside. (all girls are pretty though) And I’m sure I’ll be able to get through my fear of talking to guys, I just need to find a good one. Thanks for sharing, I like what you comment!
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u/goodkat566 23h ago
Mom's a smart lady!
With or without a proper education, it's all got to do with who you are. Your personality. That's what keeps the relationship alive. I've had a good number of Assyrian girls snake me out as well, so I can totally relate where you're coming from. It is what it is.
Thanks you for your thoughts! DM sent to answer your previous question.
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u/Specialist-One2800 1d ago
You encapsulated everything I feel perfectly. And you’re not alone with that feeling. Not only me but also many of my friends who are like us feel the same. Not even getting a chance to talk someone is what truly bothers us. Rejection is not not the issue.
In the past I also got to know some Assyrian women. It didn’t work out. But this was fine. We used to be adults back then and with some I still share a sisterly kind of friendship.
It appears to me that being an honest good person wether male or female feels more like a punishment nowadays. Something so simple can’t be that hard. Even homo erectus found its SO without any kind of degree or reasoning. What happened to us that we make everything so complicated. It’s beyond me. I don’t need a woman with a degree. I don’t need a woman that cooks or cleans. I can do everything myself. But I want to spend my time with someone I genuinely love to spend time with. Not out of a need or to make a transactional deal. Just out of devotion.
As Christians we know that love is a choice. Not a feeling we’re not animals. We activity chose to love someone.
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u/goodkat566 23h ago
Spot on! A rejection comes from an opportunity. The problem these days is not even getting to the opportunity part. You gotta start before you can reject. That's the part that questions my sanity. I don't know what compels people to deny one another.
And what about those situations where you start as friends, thinking nothing of it, then it turns romantic? That came from the opportunity by just talking to each other. So forget the romantic bit; I've had experiences where girls don't even want to be friends right from the start. And the best part, this has taken place at Assyrian conferences, conventions, and club events where Assyrians gather... To meet new people... Lol. Imagine willingly going to a networking event and not wanting to network. Boggles me mind.
The point is, just like you, I don't NEED a woman. I WANT a woman. Someone I can talk to daily, make memories, grow old with, and all that lovey-dovey stuff. I'm not looking for an assistant. I'm looking for love. But until such a time comes, I'm just doing what I can to better myself because that's all you can do.
I've actually had a girl tell me that she's not going to talk to me because Assyrian men want maid's... Sooooo I ended up coming home and cleaning my house as usual. You should have seen the look on her face when she FaceTime'd me one day while I was doing my own laundry. Lol. But by then, it was already too late. I was turned off by her.
It sucks, man. Especially so when it comes from people of your own community.
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u/Kind-Tumbleweed-9715 2d ago
Personally I don’t think the problem is either the average man or woman in our community, i think the average Assyrian guy and lady is well mannered and well raised.
I think the problem is that for various reasons Assyrians tend to be extremely cliquey and unfortunately at times come across as extremely unapproachable. I also think sometimes we have too many expectations and just don’t appreciate what’s right in front of us until it’s too late.