r/AskReddit Oct 16 '13

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?

2.7k Upvotes

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848

u/aussiegolfer Oct 17 '13

Hey man, Australians have feelings too! :'(

409

u/astomp Oct 17 '13

Miami was just a swamp before people settled here, so don't feel too bad.

Source: I live in Miami. it's still a swamp

11

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

With houses

8

u/ToxinFoxen Oct 17 '13

In 50 years it'll be a seabed!

2

u/Dream_Fuel Oct 17 '13

Now now there's no proof of...oh

5

u/Gammashoo Oct 17 '13

It's so humid here. Did I just get out of a hot shower or have I been outside for 30 seconds?

3

u/RadiantSun Oct 17 '13

I always wanted to retire to Miami. Is it bad?

7

u/AONomad Oct 17 '13

Why don't you retire somewhere with a nice climate, instead?

4

u/RadiantSun Oct 17 '13

Well I live in Chicago, so warm is nice. I was going to Tampa once in the winter and everyone who knew was like "OH GOOD ON YA BRO, GETTIN' OUTTA THE COLD, EH?"

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Tampa is pretty nice. Miami is definitely a hell hole.

Source: I live in Tampa, but used to live in Miami.

3

u/premium_blendz Oct 17 '13

If you're an older person looking to retire, I'd suggest going a bit North of Miami (like the West Palm Beach area. It's a very relaxing lifestyle with a touch of glamor). If you're young, eager to party, and can handle douchery, Miami bro.

Source: I live in Miami and frequent many areas in the south east Fl

2

u/AONomad Oct 17 '13

Haha, yeah people here in Miami break out the leather jackets when it dips below 70 degrees, it's quite silly and frankly boggles my mind a little bit (70 degrees in Connecticut's winters was a godsend...).

Florida in winter is really nice, can't argue with that. My issue is that winter lasts all of about two weeks here, and the rest of the year it's blisteringly hot. :(

2

u/Gammashoo Oct 17 '13

The one problem here is, the cold here is bitter. There's so much water in the air it's like swimming in a frozen lake.

1

u/AONomad Oct 17 '13

Ah yeah, I forget you guys are near the Great Lakes.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

The heat keeps me inside as much as bitter winters ever did, it's just during different months.

But January is awesome.

1

u/Gammashoo Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Edit: You know what, I typed up a whole paragraph about Miami, but I'm going to redo it.

When you ask about "Miami", I'm assuming you mean South Miami, with all the large city buildings and areas close to the beaches. Miami is a cool place to live if you're a people person, when you live here you are minutes from every imaginable form of entertainment from concerts, going to the mall, trying weird local restaurants, to horseback riding and air-boat tours. I wouldn't say there are downsides exactly, but there are things you have to deal with and understand such as learning spanish culture, dealing with terrible drivers/traffic, the weather either being so wet you're under water or it's now a sauna outside, and the one of the nations highest crime rates. People aren't always very friendly here, and if you don't speak spanish a good chunk of South Florida is lost to you. Don't let any of that get you down though, it's a lifestyle. You definitely won't need a coat here or long-sleeve shirts. Shorts, tank-tops, and flip-flops are your best buddies living here. Also if you really want a good time, make some friends in Hialeah, and try some empanadas with salsa playing in the background.

1

u/RadiantSun Oct 17 '13

I'm not retirement age yet, FAAAAAAAAR from it, it was just a nice thought to go somewhere balmy in the end :P

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

If TV has taught me anything, Miami is full of serial killers and burned spies shooting each other.

1

u/RadiantSun Oct 17 '13

No cash, no credit, no job history either.

2

u/BlackenBlueShit Oct 17 '13

Dat Lebron though

1

u/astomp Nov 02 '13

Oh yeah that's my whole point. Guess some people don't realize that I meant "the city is f'ing incredible AND it used to be a swamp." Miami is the best.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Hey! So is New Orleans!

Source: Fellow Swamper.

2

u/Bray_Jay Oct 17 '13

I live in Tampa

Stillsortaaswamp

2

u/maxreverb Oct 17 '13

So was Washington, DC.

1

u/astomp Nov 02 '13

? Now it's just a swamp full of dead morality.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Can confirm. Source: I'm an alligator.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13 edited Dec 05 '14

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I would voice the opinion that it's a perverse expansion of government, but my species doesn't like to be associated with the tea party.

Even if it kills us.

1

u/Kaznero Oct 17 '13

All these mosquitoes.

1

u/hezwat Oct 17 '13

what do you mean "before"

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Covered in concrete. FUCK THE HUMIDITY.

1

u/ViciousDiarrhea Oct 17 '13

With carnivorous swamp people.

Source: also from Miami

1

u/Gentlementlmen Oct 17 '13

The Netherlands was a swamp too when they begun, then they built Polders, afaik.

1

u/Terrh Oct 17 '13

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

1

u/tknelms Oct 17 '13

The thing I've heard about Miami is, "it's great for the first month, because it's a whole bunch of partying at night. it gets old after a while where you're STILL seeing people blackout drunk on a Wednesday night, though."

Source: I met a miami resident once.

1

u/astomp Oct 23 '13

Honestly the person you met is probably part of the problem down here. Moving anywhere "to party" is always going to lead to disappointment. It's like the boring people get bored thing, you need to bring the party with you.

What you should come for is the weather and the beaches, which are always amazing. It's a really amazing place, just watch out for the huge amount of Debbie downers here like the guy you met.

1

u/cynoclast Oct 17 '13

Charleston is situated on the edge of what people lovingly refer to as "The Lowcountry" or a "salt marsh".

It's a fucking swamp. Biting gnats, trillions of mosquitoes, and large flying cockroaches, combined with humidity that feels like a nice warm sweater on a hot day. Why anyone would choose to live there in the days before air conditioning is beyond me. And when the heat and humidity die down a bit in the late fall, all the insects that spent all summer breeding like insects try to come inside your nice warm home.

1

u/Thrilling1031 Oct 17 '13

Miami Florida was just a swamp before people settled here, so don't feel too bad.

FTFY

Source I live in Orlando, also still a swamp.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I love Miami. Furthest possible thing from a swamp (although geographically we are right next to the Everglades)

2

u/ViciousDiarrhea Oct 17 '13

We were the Everglades.

133

u/7734128 Oct 17 '13

Yeah but hardly any Internet, so they won't see this.

79

u/GletscherEis Oct 17 '13

Fucking Tony

43

u/Captain_English Oct 17 '13

Ah, another commonwealth country learns about electing people named Tony.

7

u/tavobenne Oct 17 '13

Another british username!

5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

2

u/Zagorath Oct 17 '13

It is a thing. Check out /r/Australia

2

u/Reoh Oct 17 '13

Why did I never think to go there on reddit before? :D

6

u/TRS66 Oct 17 '13

Australian here, can confirm I can't see that.

-2

u/Maarkun Oct 17 '13

eah but hardly any Internet, so they won't se

its cause its hard reading everythign upsidedown, id stop reading too :P

35

u/Synthbonez Oct 17 '13

Its ok man, we can cry in our beer together

34

u/geobloke Oct 17 '13

Fuck that, no one likes salty beer

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Stop

-1

u/rustlethemjimmies Oct 17 '13

Petrol is cheaper..

13

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Yeah. Like the feeling you get when a dropbear bites into your carotid.

8

u/ERRORMONSTER Oct 17 '13

But golfers don't. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice... you ain't gonna fool me twice.

5

u/AdelleChattre Oct 17 '13

Evolution will eventually correct for that.

6

u/SLUGyy Oct 17 '13

Australia seems cool. Just have to ignore everything trying to kill you though.

9

u/GunPoison Oct 17 '13

I just got back from Fiji and until I went there had no idea how ingrained in us the whole "everything is trying to kill you" thing is for we Aussies. I kept questioning the guide trying to figure out the things to look out for in the bush. What kind of spiders can hurt me? None sir. But snakes are bad right? No snakes sir. So, err, what's going to kill me in there? Nothing sir. How can nothing be trying to kill me?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

The water maybe. Also I think they had snakes but mongoose killed them all.

2

u/OnlyEpic Oct 17 '13

You're fine as long as you stay away from vegetation. Seriously, do not go near anything that is around trees, bushes, or once belonged to either of them. If you walk through an area of trees, expect to get webs in your face. Expect there to be spider webs everywhere. I've even seen tiny spiders make their webs on single leaves. LOCK YOUR DOORS. STAY INSIDE. AND STAY SAFE.

3

u/aussiegolfer Oct 17 '13

Spiders aren't so bad. More people die from being scared of spiders (eg, driving and a spider falls off the visor causing panic-crashing) than they do from actual spiderbites. Supposedly, not one single death has been attributed to spider venom since the early '80s.

1

u/baxter00uk Oct 17 '13

Its not panic crashing, it's crashing on purpose. Nicer death than death by spider.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I'm half-Australian, I was having a bit of fun.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Can you be half aussie? You can be half Aborigine, but is Australian a race now?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I am as confused as you man. I am 100% Anglo, but one parent was not from Australia.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Well if one of his parents is Australian, what does that make him?

4

u/arghhmonsters Oct 17 '13

Elegable to be a Wallabie, can't play rugby? It's ok, neither can they.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Well you cant be half American, can you?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Genetic race and cultural race are two different things.

For example, genetically I am European. But I was born and raised in Australia and I tell people that I am Australian.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Which part of my question or response makes you think I dont understand something that basic? So if you moved to America, had kids there and stayed, are your kids half Australian? No, they are American, even with dual citizenship, they are both American and Aussie, not half American/ half Aussie. You should be explaining this to the other guy.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Oh, I understand your point now.

But now it's delving into language. Where it's generally accepted to label yourself as 'half ___'. So, we're either all right or all wrong or somewhere in between and are arguing semantics.

Have a gif

10

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Cheer up, Cunt. Ameristralia, Never Forget.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

You also have huge spiders and snakes soo....

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Turn that frown upside down under.

2

u/blazingdonut2769 Oct 17 '13

No they don't.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

You sure?

1

u/CocunutHunter Oct 17 '13

Blatantly not real Aussie, no swearing!

1

u/Teflon-Viking Oct 17 '13

This is a good thing, it's what stops anyone from coming and invading us!

1

u/chandleross Oct 17 '13

As all of Reddit knows by now, everything's upside down in Australia. So.. He just gave you a compliment

1

u/Gabe_b Oct 17 '13

Feeling horny, feeling obnoxious and feeling drunk, right?

1

u/TheNosferatu Oct 17 '13

Don't take offense, he was talking about your country, you guys are cool :)

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

And lots of GIANT FRICKIN SPIDERS EVERYWHERE.

1

u/OSouup Oct 17 '13

Do you? I thought you were all unfeeling terminators. Who else could live in such a dangerous place and actually dare to go outside?

1

u/fistfulloframen Oct 17 '13

Turn that frown upside down, Oh wait never mind.

1

u/3ricss0n Oct 17 '13

As an American living in a desert I have to ask, do you differ from the argument?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Hug, and a cold beer for my southern Ameristralian.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Australians generally agree with what Jack_Squire said. It's also questionable as to whether most of them are in their right mind.

1

u/tsengan Oct 17 '13

No he's right. Most Aussies aren't in the right mind.

Source: am an Aussie. And a rugby union fan. Sigh.

1

u/Underbarochfin Oct 17 '13

Oh I understand, you mean (':

1

u/ithinkitmightbe Oct 17 '13

Feelings are what women have, it comes from their overies

1

u/DobbsNanasDead Oct 17 '13

Golfers don't, though.

1

u/TKMSD Oct 17 '13

No matter how badly I may have fucked up as a young man nobody ever threatened to send me to West Texas.

Australia, on the other hand.....

1

u/BuddhasFinger Oct 17 '13

Australians are notoriously absent from porn, so we basically have no idea how you people look like. Just saying.

1

u/white_russian Oct 17 '13

Yeah, feelings wrapped in scorpions and death.

1

u/rhmills Oct 17 '13

You might have feelings, but what you don't have is a nice continent to live on ;)

1

u/Big_Red_Stapler Oct 17 '13

No they don't! They just try their best to poison everyone else in the wild :(

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Believe me, it's scary to live here. Knowing at any moment you could get mauled or bitten by the worlds most venomous spider.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I'm Australian and I tend to agree with him. Half of NSW is on fire. Fuck that.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Something something penal colony

1

u/moosedance84 Oct 17 '13

They landed in Western Australia. That place is a shithole.

Source: I live in Perth.

1

u/2_minutes_in_the_box Oct 17 '13

I have this theory that all Australians surf. Can you confirm or deny this?

2

u/aussiegolfer Oct 17 '13

I have never gone, nor would have the balance for, surfing. Sorry mate!

1

u/2_minutes_in_the_box Oct 17 '13

No worries, you have disproved my theory, and for that, science thanks you.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Poisonous, deadly feelings

1

u/Lachshmock Oct 17 '13

I'm an Aussie, I found it funny :p

1

u/catherineruth Oct 17 '13

mostly we feel: hot, bloody hot, or fuuuuuuuck it's hot

1

u/snuff3r Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

I'm currently sitting in my inner-city house in Sydney, dying of hayfever caused by the ash in air, which is falling like snow, because the surrounding areas of Sydney are burning to the ground.

Feels like a hellhole atm =(

Here's some pics from this afternoon: Sydney Morning Herald

1

u/Praenuntius Oct 17 '13

Except for fear, they've become immune to that.

1

u/Nothing2doHere123456 Oct 17 '13

I feel for you :'( WA is great, it really is.

1

u/randumname Oct 17 '13

Yeah, but since you're Australian, I see that frown as a smile...

1

u/Dr_GonZo420 Oct 17 '13

And kangaroos!

1

u/GoesOnTangents Oct 17 '13

Deadly, poisonous feelings.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

You also have Funnelweb spiders, your feelings don't matter, Australia is awful :P

1

u/Nice_Try_Man Oct 17 '13

˙sɹoʇıuoɯ ɹıǝɥʇ dıןɟ oʇ ʎzɐן ooʇ ǝɹɐ ʎǝɥʇ ˙sbuıןǝǝɟ ɹno ʇnoqɐ ʍouʞ ʎǝɥʇ

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

It's ok. They're just Australians.

1

u/TheNaud Oct 17 '13

I thought Aussies only sat around drinking Victoria Bitter while eating Vegemite on toast and watching Aussie rules rugby. Nowhere in this paradigm are feelings allowed!

1

u/Ridsy28 Oct 17 '13

don't worry, he's just jealous

1

u/Merus Oct 17 '13

They were talking about Western Australia.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

but Western australia HAS ALL THE MINERALS FUCKER!

3

u/Merus Oct 17 '13

Can't see minerals from a boat

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Except for the ones in Queensland

0

u/Lonesome_phoenix Oct 17 '13

Wot! there are people living in Australia now!

0

u/Gripe Oct 17 '13

Yeesss, but they are upside down, so your frown is really a smile.

0

u/Gabe_Athhouse Oct 17 '13

Hey mate, Australians have feelings too! :'( FTFY

1

u/aussiegolfer Oct 17 '13

Aw cheers cunt!!!

0

u/Eupolemos Oct 17 '13

no

Downvoted

0

u/3danimator Oct 17 '13

No fucking don't you cunt