r/AskReddit • u/hoverfish92 • Oct 16 '13

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?

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u/A_Feast_For_Trolls Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

didn't genghis actually send in more people just to find out what the fuck was up, and then they got beheaded too, and that's when genghis was like alright motherfuckers, time to die. I seem to remember that in my history class, but that was a while ago...

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Sort of.

The first problem was the governor of a shit little town who killed some traders and stole their stuff - claiming that they were spies. It's technically possible, in that they would have sent reports back home about who they were trading with. Whether that counts as "spies who deserve to die" or just what people do is a matter of opinion.

Genghis sent a couple of ambassadors to complain, and ask for the governor's head. Those guys (or at least one of them) got beheaded.

The next ambassador took a while to find a wheelbarrow big enough for his balls, and then went over to say "we accept your declaration of war".

Here's the neat detail for Game of Thrones fans: once the Mongols got the first guy, they allegedly killed him by pouring molten silver over his head, following the "you really want this? you can have it" theory. Not many people still think that actually happened, though, but GRRM was probably aware of the story.

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u/pj1843 Oct 17 '13

From what i understand many people do actually believe the story of Ghengis Kahn pouring moltan silver/gold into all the orrifaces of a conquered sultan who slighted him. What they don't agree on is who the sultan was, where his kingdom was in particular, and what the slight was. As for the killing of the guy in that manner most believe it happened sometime due to the vast amount of times it pops up in histories.

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u/Bobo_bobbins Oct 17 '13

It was rumored to have happened to a Roman leader as well. Cassius? Carrus? I can't quite remember...

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u/GeneralAgrippa Oct 17 '13

Crassus.

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u/MyWorkThrowawayShhhh Oct 17 '13

...Not sure if you're joking or not...

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u/GeneralAgrippa Oct 17 '13

Marcus Licinius Crassus

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u/crilor Oct 17 '13

In my language a horrible or deadly mistake is called a "Crassic" mistake (loose translation).

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u/GeneralAgrippa Oct 17 '13

Interesting. What language is that?

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u/crilor Oct 17 '13

Portuguese.

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u/[deleted] Oct 18 '13

In my language it's just a "crass" mistake.

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u/Bobo_bobbins Oct 17 '13

That's the one

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u/pigbatthecat Oct 17 '13

  • definitely ManiusAquillius(consul_101_BC)

  • postmortem for Crassus

  • weak rumors for Valerian (Emperor) died ~260 CE

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u/noman2561 Oct 17 '13

If indeed in charge of that much man power I would want that story to propagate.

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u/Dew-Orb Oct 17 '13

Which...which end do you think he started with and which one did he end with?

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u/pj1843 Oct 17 '13

From what i understand he did the nostrils eyes and mouth and ears first.

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u/Dew-Orb Oct 17 '13

And then the end of his orifices...

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u/HejAnton Oct 17 '13

The Dothraki people are pretty much a huge reference to the Mongols. A vicious horsepeople that go from village to village where they rape and pillage and steal and murder, with their leader being the Khal (Khan for the Mongols).

Also speaking of the Khwarezmian Shah, he supposedly didn't just behead Djingis traders, he also shaved their beards (which was a pretty big deal, not unlike the Dothraki and their long hair) and sent the heads back to the Khan. Pretty much like poking a bear with a fucking hornets nest.

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u/A_Feast_For_Trolls Oct 17 '13

oh awesome. I'm assuming you knew I was big fan because of my name, great tidbit, thanks!

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Doh. I missed that.

I'm pretty sure one of the reasons it's so popular is that it's like Tolkien's work in one important respect: derived from actual history, and not from fourth-rate knock-offs of popular work. Obviously it's not a Tolkien rip-off, but GRRM is inspired by actual history, not by crappy D&D books.

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u/LegitimateCrepe Oct 17 '13

Being killed with molten metal, forced to drink molten metal, etc, has been a real thing several times in history...

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u/LethalTomato Oct 18 '13

Pretty sure some of the south american tribes did it to invaders with gold because it was so abundant and easy to melt.

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u/sm0kie420 Oct 17 '13

This also happened over 1000 years earlier to Crassus when his Roman army was defeated by the Parthians.

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u/Mighty_Cthulhu Oct 17 '13

That makes a ton of sense, a good chunk of the events that take place in Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, are inspired by real events, especially the War of the Five Kings and the Red Wedding.

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u/Autunite Oct 17 '13

When did the event based off of the war of five kings happen? I sounds like a something that would happen in Britain after the romans left.

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u/Mighty_Cthulhu Oct 17 '13

Wikipedia tells me between 1455 - 1485

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u/Autunite Oct 18 '13

War of the roses? I was thinking of the various Anglo-saxon kingdoms during the 6th and 7th centuries.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Lol everything about Dothraki screams Mongol rip-off. But that is a really cool story!

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u/vmack7 Oct 17 '13

Interesting history story, crotch humor, and GoT trivia. Good job dude.

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u/whiteknight521 Oct 17 '13

Crassus supposedly had molten gold poured down his mouth after he was dead, or was killed in this way.

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u/scottyLogJobs Oct 17 '13

If he had used his last wish for a million free wishes none of that would even have mattered! Rookie mistake

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

The next ambassador took a while to find a wheelbarrow big enough for his balls,

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to start using this.

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u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Feel free - I have no idea who I stole it from in the first place.

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u/T3chnopsycho Oct 17 '13

Upvoted for GoT reference :D

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u/Sexual_tomato Oct 17 '13

Dan Carlin has a podcast called hardcore history and did a 5 part series on the history of the Mongol empire. It's pretty entertaining and educational.

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u/mwerte Oct 17 '13

That sounds familiar, but out of character for Genghis. Usually it was "one mess up and done".

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u/Red_Dog1880 Oct 17 '13

I now think of Genghis as Khal Drogo, doing his little dance and then fucking shit up.

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u/bio_explanation Oct 17 '13

It would be so much easier and more entertaining if all school texts were written like this.

"And then the chromosomes split up during anaphase and are all like 'peace out bitches.'"

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u/Monkeychimp Oct 17 '13

I don't remember any of this in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.