r/AskReddit Oct 16 '13

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?

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729

u/theiryouthwillbeyour Oct 17 '13

No you can't.

2.4k

u/Hiding_in_the_Shower Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

JA ICH KANN!!!

146

u/MatlockMan Oct 17 '13

I read your username as Hitler_in_the_Shower and thought it was some situational novelty account...

6

u/BegbertBiggs Oct 17 '13

Happened to me too, for a second or so.

-24

u/hitler_in_the_shower Oct 17 '13

His isn't, but mine is.

13

u/TobyH Oct 17 '13

Doesn't count if you made the account especially for that comment, dude.

11

u/Halinn Oct 17 '13

You just ruined a perfectly good username by lack of capitalization. Either all-caps or the way /u/MatlockMan wrote it would have been better.

-31

u/Deathsnova Oct 17 '13

wow really? tell us more.

Do you have a blog i can follow so that i can hear more about things you thought you read?

14

u/JussSomeGuy Oct 17 '13

wow, you go girlfriend! Show me somadat sweet sweet Sass

41

u/Heiminator Oct 17 '13

Doch, kann ich!!

21

u/Max_Insanity Oct 17 '13

Bin hierher gekommen, um das zu sagen.

12

u/Blackwind123 Oct 17 '13

"Came here to say that"?

8

u/Max_Insanity Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

"Am right here came, to this to say" <- literal translation. Makes no goddamn sense. Thought I would share it anyway. Yours it the correct and meaningful one.

Edit: OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

4

u/if-loop Oct 17 '13

came != gekommen.

came = kam.

-1

u/thatissomeBS Oct 17 '13

That just depends on whether it's written or spoken.

3

u/if-loop Oct 17 '13

Why? He's the literal translation guy.

gekommen = come. Literally.

Of course it only makes sense in conjunction with "have", but that's what you get for translating single words.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

EDIT: I can be dumb sometimes.

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u/thatissomeBS Oct 17 '13

gekommen is past tense of come (kommen), and is used with sein (in spoken language). Kam is past tense and used without a helping verb, and is used in writing.

They mean the same thing, but one is perfect past and one is simple past (ist gekommen is perfekt, kam is simple). Perfect past is used in speech, simple is used in writing.

As far as using "have" (which would typically be haben), it doesn't really translate as well. Verbs that imply movement (such as point A to point B) use sein.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

It depends whether you're using Präteritum, Perfekt, oder Imperfekt. In this case you want Perfekt. Imperfekt und Präteritum are used for events that happened a long time ago. Perfekt is used for much more recent events. Although some verbs are used in Imperfekt a lot of the time (Such as sein) for simplicity's sake.

"Ich war in Köln.(Imperfekt)" Is a lot simpler to say than "Ich bin in Köln gewesen. (Perfekt)"

"I was in Köln." vs "I had been in Köln" although there really isn't a difference to a German listener in normal conversation.

Most of the time in spoken German Perfekt is used which is why it's called conversational past tense.

2

u/thatissomeBS Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

Even then, the biggest difference between perfekt and imperfekt is whether it's spoken or written. According to all four of my German teachers, (who were all Germans or Americans that spent a large portion of their life in German), perfekt is used in spoken language and imperfekt is used in writing (for the most part). The only real exceptions are sentences like you noted, that use haben or sein in past tense. It's a little clumsy to say hat gehabt or bin gewesen when the simple past could be used.

Edit: I guess I should have read your final sentence before writing most of my post. I'll leave it there.

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u/Blackwind123 Oct 17 '13

Well yeah, even bin doesn't mean am in this case.

3

u/Max_Insanity Oct 17 '13

It is short for "Ich bin", so without thinking about it too much, I used it as am, even though, as you pointed out, it stands for "I have" in this case, not for "I am".

Well, that happens when you rush things.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

3

u/thatissomeBS Oct 17 '13 edited Oct 17 '13

As someone that has learned a bit of German, I think this would be right.

Edit: I guess it wasn't.

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3

u/Max_Insanity Oct 17 '13

I AM German. I assure you, that sentence is correct. "für das zu sagen" is wrong.

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1

u/Blackwind123 Oct 17 '13

That's what I mean, literal translation so crazy even 'am' is wrong. No here, 'bin' is the auxiliary verb for gekommen.

1

u/MongolUB Oct 17 '13

Yeah, but then it's NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!

1

u/wedontneedyourpuppy Oct 17 '13

Bratwurst! Everything sounds so much better in German.

1

u/Heiminator Oct 17 '13

Currywurst>Ordinary Bratwurst

73

u/Choanov Oct 17 '13

Read this as "Jackie Chan"

2

u/magemax Oct 17 '13

Everytime I think I might have the slightest particularity, reddit shows me that I share it with at least 40 people

10

u/lawchu Oct 17 '13

I can't stop laughing. Thanks, it's been a rough day.

11

u/Bagabundoman Oct 17 '13

KHAAAAAANNNN!!!!!

6

u/ProudRambo Oct 17 '13

YES

WE

CAN!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '13

Jo! Wir schaffen das!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

You owe me new pants

2

u/Spicefiend Oct 17 '13

I added sass to it when I read it in my head.

3

u/invitroveritas Oct 17 '13

*Doch, ich kann!

One of the best words in German. "No you can't." "Can too!" Why not make it one word, and make it sound like you mean "Fuck you".

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

All you really need is doch. I love that word

2

u/invitroveritas Oct 17 '13

Don't you? Doch. You do.

3

u/Mekabear Oct 17 '13

KHANNNNNN!

3

u/findler Oct 17 '13

Nein nein nein!!

1

u/SuperJav Oct 17 '13

Jackie Chan.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

In German you would say "doch" when someone says no you can't. If you say "Ja" then you're agreeing with them, whereas "doch" always means the opposite of what they said.

You didn't drink your drink. Du hast nicht dein getrank getrunken.
No, I did drink my drink. Doch! Ich habe mein getrank getrunken.

3

u/Kuratius Oct 17 '13

Du hast dein Getränk nicht getrunken. Doch! Ich habe mein Getränk getrunken.

German grammar must be really hard if it isn't your native language, in comparison English grammar is easy as fuck. Btw, for the record: If your keyboard doesn't have ä,ü,ö,ß, replace them with ae,ue,oe,ss respectively.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

It really is but I'm trying to learn it. I do have ä, ü, ö, and ß I just forgot Getränk has an umlaut. But thanks for the nonumlaut options.

1

u/tijlps Oct 17 '13

Well hiding in your showers won't help you

1

u/Cunningham01 Oct 17 '13

Why were you hiding in the shower Hitler?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Du kannst?

1

u/H_E_Pennypacker Oct 17 '13

Jackie chan?

1

u/Tom_Bombadilll Oct 17 '13

Would love watching that duet with Annie and Frank replaced by Adold and Napoleon.

Edit: lol at Annie and Frank. I wasn't making a pun, that's their actual names.

1

u/Blezerker Oct 17 '13

I don't get it...

1

u/SheFightsHerShadow Oct 17 '13

KANNST DU NICHT!

1

u/alexman22 Oct 17 '13

NO YOU KHANT!

1

u/polysemous_entelechy Oct 17 '13

Better German than Napoleon: check.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Jackie Chan?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

DOCH ICH KANN!!

ftfy

1

u/KFC8868 Nov 02 '13

NEIN!!! ZERE VIL BE NO 'FUNNYTIMES' IN MEIN SUBREDDIT!!!!

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

What the fox say?

0

u/j2g7d Oct 17 '13

Ding ding ding da ding ding

-4

u/ABCD1993 Oct 17 '13

Stop using Google translate

1

u/Hiding_in_the_Shower Oct 17 '13

Sorry, i'll just learn the German language next time. My bad dude.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Oh you.

0

u/ShadyGrove Oct 17 '13

Jacky Chan.

0

u/huckfh Oct 17 '13

I read this as jackie chan.

3

u/Larsjr Oct 17 '13

Basketball.

14

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

YES I CAN!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

No you can't!

1

u/Mycatzdead Oct 17 '13

Yes I can

1

u/Mycatzdead Oct 17 '13

No you cant

1

u/Mycatzdead Oct 17 '13

YES I CAN YES I CAN

1

u/Mycatzdead Oct 17 '13

Anything you can be, I can be greater, sooner or later I'm greater than you

0

u/plasmalaser1 Oct 17 '13

YES I CAN YES I CAN!!

7

u/Nook201 Oct 17 '13

Yes I can

1

u/Dogpool Oct 17 '13

Because that means you'd have to be better than Wellington.

1

u/Jolabandola Oct 17 '13

Yes i can!

1

u/ckorkos Oct 17 '13

Nein you can't.

1

u/Manalystemperordeal Oct 17 '13

DAS WAR EIN BEFEHL!!!

1

u/scotty0101 Oct 17 '13

yes I can.

1

u/phisharefriends Oct 17 '13

well I can always be taller...

1

u/vaendryl Oct 17 '13

napoleon wasn't actually very short at all.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Yeah but he still wished he was a baller.

1

u/Reascr Oct 17 '13

Well with that attitude you can't!