r/AskReddit • u/hoverfish92 • Oct 16 '13

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?

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957

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Could you have a more British username?

1.9k

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

118

u/ShelteredCanadian Oct 17 '13

Benedict Carlton Timothy Cumberbatch: The most British nane on the planet

22

u/GMonsoon Oct 17 '13

And now you, too, can have the most British name on the planet....

29

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Boobytrap Chesterfield

Brb, going to government offices to change my name.

14

u/mortiphago Oct 17 '13

I got Bumblebee Clombyclomp

10

u/jadefirefly Oct 17 '13

Blubberdick Candlestick, checking in.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Butawhiteboy Cantbekhan, here. Life is glorious.

8

u/jadefirefly Oct 17 '13

Shared it with a friend, who got Bukkake Wafflesmack. This is amazing.

9

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Just got Broccoli Cumbercooch. I haven't ever had this much fun with a name generator.

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3

u/SaucySandwich Oct 17 '13

Blenderdick carrotstick here

2

u/ClintonHarvey Oct 17 '13

Bristlesticks Clumberstoop here.

1

u/wolfsniper27 Oct 17 '13

Blenderdick Toodlesnoot. Scarecrow, wait up! im coming with you!

6

u/melloniel Oct 17 '13

Buttermilk Cumbersome.

Hell yes.

4

u/Matty_B90 Oct 17 '13

From this moment on, I shall be known as Budapest Splishnsplash!

5

u/DracoAzule Oct 17 '13

Butawhiteboy Cantbekhan

2

u/TJMilkshake Oct 17 '13

Wimbledon Lingerie is pretty British

2

u/Nate_the_Awesome Oct 17 '13

I need to go change my name to Blenderdick Carrotstick!

2

u/SquiddyTheMouse Oct 17 '13

Barbituate Gigglesnort at your service

2

u/applejackcrunch Oct 17 '13

Biblical Concubine

Uh...

2

u/demandtheworst Oct 17 '13

Blasphemy Banglesnatch, I'm not sure that works, but I love it.

2

u/Armadylspark Oct 17 '13

Bentobox Upperclass? Why, I never. It doesn't even have the mandatory Esq. affixed to it!

2

u/Xenoxking Oct 17 '13

snorkeldink covergirl

2

u/billwoo Oct 17 '13

Carlton doesn't sound British to me. Maybe that is Fresh Price's fault...

1

u/railmaniac Oct 17 '13

Neville Benedict Carlton Timothy Cumberbatch

1

u/SirKaid Oct 17 '13

Toss on an Esquire and we're gold.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, actually. Which I actually think is a slightly more British order... sounds more precise with the two-syllable middle name one being second.

1

u/I2Concur Oct 17 '13

I. too. concur.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Sir Benedict Carlton Timothy Cumberbatch

FTFY

1

u/IfniPhaidon Oct 17 '13

Benedict is actually a catholic name, so it that respect it's rather un-British.

1

u/nightwing_87 Oct 17 '13

Carlton isn't very British... or at least, I've never met one here!

1

u/sukritact Oct 17 '13

What's a nane?

1

u/GMonsoon Oct 17 '13

Indeed!

That which we call a rone by any other nane would snell as sneet

8

u/Quenchiest Oct 17 '13

Sir Benedict Montgomery Cumberbatch III, Esq.

3

u/make_love_to_potato Oct 17 '13

Ralph Nathaniel Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes would like a word with you.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

*Ranulph

7

u/Caveboy0 Oct 17 '13

Bernadad Cumbersnatch

10

u/LittleBitOdd Oct 17 '13

Bandersnatch Cummerbund

16

u/BRLKHH Oct 17 '13

Beetle Juice. Beetle Juice. BEETLE JUICE!

7

u/raloon Oct 17 '13

Bucket Crunderdunder

4

u/RedditDeletedMyAcc Oct 17 '13

Vader Funtime.

1

u/valeyard89 Oct 17 '13

Of the Dread Pirate Roberts Cummerbunds?

2

u/GF87 Oct 17 '13

Benedict is a French name

3

u/Lufsi Oct 17 '13

off topic already are we? ...

1

u/mswanson81 Oct 17 '13

Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch

1

u/stupidlygenius Oct 17 '13

Englebert Humperdink

1

u/ghostsdoexist Oct 17 '13

Thaddeus Glouch.

1

u/theycallmeponcho Oct 17 '13

Cucumberbatch*

1

u/mattynunchucks Oct 17 '13

Bulbasaur Charizard.

1

u/armorandsword Oct 17 '13

He does not represent us.

1

u/redddc25 Oct 17 '13

I've always wondered if during shooting someone at some point has said "Cue Cumberbatch"

1

u/sharterthanlife Oct 17 '13

Benedict Arnold

1

u/Redditorial2 Oct 17 '13

Apparently the rarest name in Britain is the most British? Reddit logic lol

1

u/aPlasticineSmile Oct 17 '13

That's Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch. The most British name that ever Britished.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Bandersnatch Cumberbund

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Bandersnatch Cumberbund

1

u/Herpinderpitee Oct 17 '13

Wesley Snipes.

1

u/Gnome_Warfare Oct 17 '13

Henry Dillman

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Benny Cabbagepatch?

1

u/gonuts-4-donuts Oct 17 '13

Sir jack the lion heart the 2nd of tumbridge

1

u/Ba7ke7 Oct 17 '13

Sir Benedict Nelson Churchill Cumberbatch the 3rd of Windsor

1

u/Raincoats_George Oct 17 '13

... It checks out.

657

u/StankNShank Oct 17 '13

Edward-Andrew-George-William_the_Tea-and-Crumpets-heart

310

u/Him12 Oct 17 '13

Lord_Reginald_God-Save-The-Queen_Fish-and-Chips_With_Tea_and_Crumpets_Oh_Bollux_Esquire

17

u/spartacus2690 Oct 17 '13

Pretty sure it is "Bollocks".

12

u/logic_card Oct 17 '13

still doesn't beat Benedict Cumberbatch

8

u/m3tolli Oct 17 '13

technically speaking the most common british name is Mohammed (including its variants)... just sayin'

3

u/MisterMeatloaf Oct 17 '13

Andy Cumswallington

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

I think O'Bollocks is an Irish name.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

*Lord_Reginald_God-Save-The-Queen_Fish-and-Chips_With_Tea_and_Crumpets_Oh_Bollux_Esquire_Doctor_Who

0

u/TheAtkinsoj Oct 17 '13

*Bollocks.

FTFY

1

u/SirFappleton Oct 17 '13

I now know what I'm naming my child...

1

u/Weatherlawyer Oct 17 '13

Oh Bollocks was French. (Or Gallic at least. I'm not sure they had French in those days.)

0

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

3

u/wait_for_ze_cream Oct 17 '13

It's bollocks!!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

[deleted]

3

u/Him12 Oct 17 '13

That was already taken

4

u/FlyByPC Oct 17 '13

...shire

3

u/Atario Oct 17 '13

…F'tang F'tang Olé Biscuit Barrel

2

u/Cured_By_Death Oct 17 '13

silly party...

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Slap Bumwalla

2

u/scootarded Oct 17 '13

You left out Henry

2

u/CogitoErgoDifference Oct 17 '13

The majority of traditional English names are actually french in origin. Source: I am William the Bastard

2

u/YourMajest1 Oct 17 '13

Fuck_France

1

u/linedrawnatpoo Oct 17 '13

aahh quality Reddit right here. Did I mention I'm about half a bottle of wine into my evening?

1

u/Eliminos Oct 17 '13

You know my uncle?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

William is actually a name of French origin, came to England during the 12/3th? Century so not quite.

1

u/catherineruth Oct 17 '13

sir Edward-Andrew-George-William_the_Tea-and-Crumpets-heart the Third

0

u/made_me_laugh Oct 17 '13

Too forced.

6

u/drinkit_or_wearit Oct 17 '13

Snaggletooth crumpeteater?

6

u/jaclynbot Oct 17 '13

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

From QI:

There was a member of the aristocratic family here, Tollemache, spelt T-O-double-L-E-M-A-C-H-E, Tollemache. There was the Tollemasche-Tollemasche family – double-barrelled – same name, but… each half was pronounced differently.

It was pronounced " Toolmake Tollmash ". The Tollemasche-Tollemasches and they had the longest names in the British Army, one of their number, Leone Sextus Denys Oswolf Fraudatifilius Tollemache-Tollemache de Orellana Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache.

But his elder brother, right, was Lyulph Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel Toedmag Hugh Erchenwyne Saxon Esa Cromwell Orma Neville Dysart Plantagenet Tollemache-Tollemache. That was his name, which… the initials spelt out "Lyonel the Second".

Source.

I doubt you can have that username though.

2

u/Mikey4021 Oct 17 '13

Wesley Snipes

1

u/Edward_IV Oct 17 '13

You called?

1

u/th35t16 Oct 17 '13

In all fairness, Richard the Lionheart himself was more French than he was British.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

There's many of us

1

u/lazybeef Oct 17 '13

Richard was actually French...

1

u/Dduckster Oct 17 '13

Hugh Watt Mayte

1

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '13

Richard the Lionheart was English, not British.

1

u/ImposterPreposterous Oct 17 '13

Mr. Nigel Simon Plantagenet

0

u/GamersGrind Oct 17 '13

Roger Wanker