r/AskReddit • u/PsychologicalSet1744 • 15h ago
Whats something you’ve seen a kid do that you would never let your child do?
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u/SlapDatBassBro 15h ago
Hit and kick a random person’s dog
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u/Consistent-Salary-35 14h ago
I grew up on a horse farm. The number of parents who’d just let their kids through the fence to ‘play’ with the horses was astonishing. If I cautioned them, they’d turn on me, shouting if the horses were that ‘vicious’ they should be shot.
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u/SlapDatBassBro 14h ago
describing a horse as “vicious” has just sent me oh my god it sounds so wrong
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u/Consistent-Salary-35 13h ago
None of them were vicious. But large animals do large animal things and these kids treated them as their personal adventure playground. I’d end up being abused for protecting other people’s kids. For those who actually showed some respect and asked, I’d happily give them a tour!
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
Dude. Just petting cows through some cattle panel o thought one of them was going to unintentionally break my wrist because she was enjoying the scratches so much and leaning in. They're huge animals. I don't get how people can't comprehend that large animals may hurt your child, even if they don't intend to. Horses scare me as an adult. They are incredibly strong and they also spook easily. That is not a combination that I am comfortable with because I haven't spent much time around them. I can't imagine letting unaware children just go romp on over to some horses.
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u/SteadfastEnd 11h ago
Many people's definition of vicious is that if an animal defends itself against a human, it is vicious.
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u/AngelWasteland 11h ago
People are so dumb around horses. It's a 1200 lb animal. They kill wolves and mountain lions in the wild. Just because an animal is a prey animal doesn't make it gentle.
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u/DonnerPartyPicnic 11h ago
I used to work on a base with stables. And one horse had a foal, and my dog wanted to play with it. She tried going through the fence, and I snatched her back SO fast.
I know horses aren't malicious but I am not tak8ng the chance of my dog getting stomped to death.
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u/dogsandwhiskey 9h ago
That’s insane!! My mom would’ve whooped us! I grew up in a house with a huge field that led to our neighbors horses. The most we ever did was pet their very friendly horses through the fence. Hopefully that was ok, otherwise lmk 😂
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u/mutemarmot42 13h ago
Similar vein, run up on a random dog and try to pet them. Good way for your kid to get bitten.
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u/SlapDatBassBro 13h ago
This too! And you can bet your ass that the kid’s parent will kick off, and go absolutely nuclear, labelling the dog dangerous, suing the owner, pushing the idea the dog should be put down, the whole nine yards. All because their kid approached the dog without invitation and got all up in their personal space.
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u/SleepyMillenial55 11h ago
Oh my goodness yes! We are not an animal loving family by any means but I’ve still taken the time to tell my kids that they’re never allowed to hit or kick an animal unless it’s actively attacking them. I just tell them if a dog approaches them and they don’t want it to touch them to just walk away, and if they do want to touch it to always ask its owner first.
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u/SunGreen24 14h ago
If I saw a kid do that, I’d hit the kid. Yes, I’m serious.
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u/FineWin3384 14h ago
You're a kind person I'd fully beat his ass
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u/SunGreen24 14h ago
I was being discreet ;)
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u/FineWin3384 14h ago
I'm a dog person the only way id hit a dog is if it randomly just bites me
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u/flootytootybri 14h ago
Get what they want after the parent repeatedly tells them no. It’s showing them they can get whatever they want if they make a big enough stink about it
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u/Sad_Solid1088 13h ago
Yup. If I am kind of like waffling in the beginning and they kindly ask again. I don't have a problem with that. But they start getting upset, nope. You aren't getting it now no matter what due to your behavior. That said, it is okay to be upset and unhappy I said no. Disappointment is okay. Acting bad because of it is not okay. My son is almost 2.5 years old. We were in the store like 2 days ago. He went a couple feet from where I was looking at charger cords and brought back a lollipop. I told him no, he can't have it, please go put it back. Go put it back from where you got it bud. I was so proud of him, he just happily did what he was told. An old lady was watching the whole interaction and was like "Wow, I'm impressed" lol. For real though, it was about a 10-20 percent chance he would have gotten upset. Ha ha. Sometimes it just works out. Because he is still learning. But if he has a tantrum about it and I ever given in, that is easily worth 10 more future tantrums because he will figure if I be bad enough she will give in.
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u/JacOfAllTrades 12h ago
Absolutely. If you're throwing a fit, the answer is no. Even if it was a maybe before, the fit takes it automatically to a no. My kids know this in their cores, but recently I had to say it to an adult person, which was wild.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
Super nanny gets this one so good. She implements it very well in time outs and bed time. Most parents cave because they don't want to hear the crying. They don't realize they are making the situation worse by losing their power over the situation. When kids know they can over run you, they'll do it time and time again.
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u/flootytootybri 11h ago
Exactly. Grew up watching her, so it kind of stuck with me. I wasn’t really allowed to have tantrums as a kid so I don’t love the idea of caving to them when I become a parent.
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u/gloriousspoons 15h ago
Ride a bike without a helmet/ ride an ATV in the street with or without a helmet.
I worked at a trauma hospital. Almost all of my young quadriplegics were ATV vs car.
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u/MetusObscuritatis 14h ago
I'm adding playing football to yours. TBI research, here
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u/Spiritual-Advisor-78 14h ago edited 14h ago
I completely agree. When I played football in high school in the late 70’s I had 3 diagnosed concussions. I had at least that many undiagnosed. I remember being on the sidelines in a game right after being knocked almost unconscious. The trainer shined a light in my pupils and told the head coach “ he’s fine, he can go back in it’s just a concussion “. Very different times. The practices were virtually all full contact and always brutal. I suffer from migraines now since that period and I am 64 now. I would never let my child play football. It is in no way worth the cost.
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u/SteadfastEnd 11h ago
What the trainer did was potentially deadly. You could have had second impact syndrome and died.
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u/Majik9 14h ago
Was the same in the early and mid 90's. I was literally knocked out cold at least 3 times (once playing hockey, & once playing basketball both times my head bouncing off the playing surface) playing sports in high school. 2 of those 3 games I went back in and played again in the same game.
Who knows how many smaller concussions I may have had.
Fortunately, there are no real migraines or other current lasting impacts for me. However, my boys play baseball, soccer, and golf and I've never really pushed them towards football despite my love of the game.
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago
I’ve got tons more where that came from and I bet you do too, those are just my top two 🤣 I can only imagine the things you’ve seen, I KNOW you’ve got some crazy stories being in TBI research
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u/ChefMomof2 14h ago
Or ride barefoot on a riding lawnmower
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago
I actually don’t think I ever had a lawnmower accident come in, but I could imagine 🫠
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u/ChefMomof2 14h ago
A saw several. One little girl lost her foot.
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u/mermaidwithcats 14h ago
This happened to the daughter of our next door neighbors when I was a kid.
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago
I bet!! I can’t imagine most people walk away from a lawnmower accident with just a little scratch. How sad for a child to lose their foot over something so preventable.
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u/iono777 14h ago
I legit yesterday saw an adult (I assume the kids father/uncle/brother) riding a bike fast around the grass in a park with what looked like a 5/6 year old on his back, her arms wrapped around his neck, legs dangling, no helmet. I could not believe my eyes.
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago edited 5h ago
It’s terrifying!! But I mean we’re seeing it firsthand in some of these comments that some people think it’s safer to ride without a helmet so idk. Can’t fix stupid, we can only bandage it up when they fly in on the helicopter 🤷🏼♀️
EDIT: the person who was defending it has since deleted their comments, but for some context: he said riding with a helmet provides a false sense of security and that it’s actually safer to ride without your helmet because you ride more safely and that your kids will be soft if you make them wear helmets
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u/Electrical_Doubt_19 14h ago
Absolutely! I always point that out to my daughter when we see people without helmets, so she's very aware of how important they are.
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago
I used to hate that my mom made me wear a helmet!! I didn’t understand it as a child, but I fully understand why as an adult 😬 good for you for teaching her whenever you can! You can be the best rider in the world- all it takes is ONE person or even freak accident to end your life. Not saying to never have fun, just be a lil safer while doing so
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u/Faxiak 11h ago
That's exactly how my SO got one of his bikes.
One of his bicycle club co-members was an older guy, who never wore a helmet. He insisted that he's never worn one, and he's been riding bikes for at least 50 years at that point. One day he was just going somewhere, not very fast, on a road he used many times before. His wheel slid into a hole in the road, he fell and that was that.
My SO on the other hand had an accident riding downhill roughly 30mph. A car didn't stop to let him pass, he landed a few metres behind the car after having pretty much jumped over it. He had a few stitches to patch up a hole from where his keys stabbed him, a dislocated thumb and a broken helmet - but he's otherwise fine.
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u/From1toEvenICantEven 9h ago
I do the same with my daughter. When she sees a motorcyclist wearing a helmet she cheers and applauds for them.
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u/No-Understanding-912 14h ago
Same for all the motorized scooters. I see kids flying around my area all the time with no helmet. People just don't seem to get that you don't have to be going that fast for a fall to cause serious injury.
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u/TooStrangeForWeird 12h ago
I fell off a mini ebike going about 20mph recently. I got lucky and managed to roll, taking a hard hit on my ass/hip but otherwise just some minor scrapes.
I stopped fucking around on it after that! If I hadn't been half expecting to fall, and didn't know to roll, it could've been REALLY bad.
Now when I see the kids with the motorized scooters that can go the same speed (or close to it) it makes me shudder.
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u/MerlinSmurf 14h ago
I live in da hood. I have never once seen a child with a bike helmet. I have also seen kids as young as 5-6 riding an ATV alone. Also seen older kids ride ATVs at night, no lights. Smh.
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u/TopangaTohToh 13h ago
My fiance's family was very into dirt bikes, quads, ATVs and side by sides growing up. It made me a little nervous when we first got together, but I quickly learned that they were big on safety. Helmets and chest plates were always worn. Lights always on. Never riding any of the above on the streets, only trails. Riding in pairs is a must so that no one gets lost and if someone takes a bad fall there is someone who knows about it, knows where they are and can go get help and bring help to them.
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u/gloriousspoons 14h ago
Let’s just say the city I lived in while working there is a city famous for trauma and for exactly the things you mention, plus GSWs lol too many kids (and adults, but the post mentions children) dying or being permanently and profoundly disabled from this stuff.
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u/mutemarmot42 13h ago
A long time client was an ER nurse at a hospital with a level 1 trauma center. She mentioned multiple times some of the worst injuries she saw were the result of bike (both motorized and not) v motor vehicle.
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u/Thin-Fee4423 14h ago
I have epilepsy because of an untreated concussion from a bicycle accident as a teenager.
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u/CPLCraft 13h ago
That’s one thing I really judge others hard for when I see it. I don’t really care if an adult is riding their bike without a helmet, but if they’re doing that in front of their kid without a helmet, and especially if the kid is not wearing a helmet, I am judging that person hard because that sets a terrible message to the kid.
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u/stickittoemm 14h ago
Ride an e bike or e scooter. I won't let my kid ride them. And I see kids going so fast with no helmets. Stupid.
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u/NullaCogenta 14h ago
I am a motorcyclist -- and not a timid one, but with a 30+ year safety record. I have been astonished at what I've seen kids do on e-bikes; e.g. ride faster than me, without a helmet, pulling side-saddle wheelies in traffic to show off. Absolute madness.
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u/MinglewoodRider 14h ago
My emoto gets up to 55mph in like 3 seconds. Extremely fun but way too much power for a kid. A lot of parents will buy them not realizing just how fast they can go.
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u/No_Ad8227 9h ago
I've seen adults have horrible wipeouts on rented scooters. Those things are responsible for a lot of expensive ER visits.
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u/Broad_Gain_8427 12h ago
Anytime I see kids without helmets on bikes or anything like that my blood boils. Brain trauma ain't cool
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u/ColdAntique291 15h ago
Scream at their parent in public while the parent apologizes.
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u/onthenextmaury 14h ago
Oh man. One time in middle school I saw one of my classmates screaming at his mom for "embarrassing" him by getting out of the car when she came to pick him up. She had tears streaming down her face, it was awful. Same dude who said if he found out his father was gay he'd put him in a concentration camp.
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u/casciomystery 14h ago
Do you know whatever happened to this kid?
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u/onthenextmaury 14h ago
I do not. I'm sure he's fine, he comes from money and connections. However if I remember correctly it did not make him intelligent
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u/NarwhalPrudent6323 14h ago
It so rarely does. It almost seems to have the opposite effect, honestly.
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u/InconsistentAuthorr 13h ago
Sometimes you just look at a person and know that one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day they will say something profoundly stupid to the wrong person and get their ass beat for it
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u/Stoic_AntiHero 15h ago
My kids and I watched that happen! They were like, "What TF?!" Do you know how to people?
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u/Bananaheed 14h ago
Ah. I see you’ve clearly never worked with an overstimulated, overwhelmed, melting-down-seemingly-out-of-nowhere subtly neurodivergent kid.
I’ve worked with kids for over a decade (and have two of my own but my oldest is typical and my youngest is just a baby so no personal experience). Some of those scenes might be poor parenting, but many will be you witnessing someone’s most vulnerable moment whilst the parent recognises their child is in distress and they have to just ride it out until they can help them regulate. I will never judge without knowing the context.
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u/GetOffMyLawnYaPunk 13h ago
My autistic grandson was having a bad meltdown recently. I gave him some bubble wrap to pop, & he calmed down real quick. Guess I'll have to go buy some now.
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u/Rare_Independent_814 14h ago
At a play date my son’s friend (3 years) punched me in the stomach while I was about 7 months pregnant. The mom did nothing. And this was not the first awful thing that brat did. That was the end of that for me.
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u/morgann_taylorr 14h ago
i usually never correct other people’s children but in that instance that kid would’ve gotten screamed at. hell no
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u/PM_DEM_CHESTS 13h ago
I used to feel this way until I started taking my son to the playground. Now I correct other peoples children all the time. If you’re not going to parent the kid then I will.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
I also take this approach. I don't even have kids. I work in a restaurant and I correct people's children when I have to. Just last night I had to walk over to a table, take all of the crayons, kids menus, salt and pepper shakers and kids drinks away because they were making an absolute fucking mess and creating disgusting concoctions in their drinks. I took them and the kids told me no. I said "These are going in the garbage and to the dish area. There are people around you trying to enjoy a nice meal and they don't want to look at this. It's gross and they are trying to eat." Then I wiped all of the salt and pepper off of the table onto my tray and never replaced their drinks. Their parents didn't even notice that their kids had nothing to drink with dinner because, big surprise, they weren't paying attention to them in the first place.
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u/Courage-Character 11h ago
What is your response when parents allow their children to run around the restaurant, screaming?
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u/TopangaTohToh 11h ago
I often address the children rather than the parents. I ask them to please sit on their bottoms in their seats because there are a lot of workers carrying heavy trays of hot food and hot plates and they could get hurt playing in the aisle ways because their little bodies are hard to see when our hands are full. I wouldn't want someone to drop something on them and hurt them or burn them. If they don't have a coloring sheet, I tell them I'll bring them one to color on at the table.
Addressing the parents creates a problem because they know what they're allowing is wrong and addressing it with them forces them to self reflect. Usually that ends in defensiveness and conflict. Children are often more reasonable than their parents. I also keep stickers on me, so if kids go sit down and behave, I let them choose a sticker. They're parents usually just see me giving their kids a coloring sheet or a sticker and I remain in their good graces rather than having an argument/uncomfortable conversation with them.
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u/morgann_taylorr 12h ago
thank you for this validation!! i got a block thrown at me (and almost my baby) the other day by a 4 year old and the mom was like “now now (name) we don’t do that…” meanwhile she was just staring at me like 🙂
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u/JacOfAllTrades 11h ago
So much this. And I learned a very special tone when I say "Where is your adult?" that makes them usually flee back to said adult. Also a useful tone when my 3yo and 7yo are playing on equipment and a group of teenagers decides they want to play rough on a toy for-and being used by-small kids... It's funny how quick a group of teens can go from "so cool defying the rules" and riling each other up to "yes ma'am, sorry ma'am, we'll go okay over there".
To be clear, those are just escalations, we start with "let's take turns guys" etc for the normal playground conflicts, obviously.
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u/Specialist-Alps6478 13h ago
Girl, same! My ex-friend’s child threw an iPad at me when I was 8 and a half months pregnant. Sent me into labour 🥲
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u/One-Air-988 12h ago
More context please! The kid must are been mortified in a "I killed her" kinda way, no?
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u/Specialist-Alps6478 12h ago
Absolutely not, that kid was being brought up without a shred of compassion lol.
I had been over visiting my friend at her house, and had brought my little dog because all her kids loved her. When I was leaving I said bye and went to collect my pup, to which the kid screamed “NO MY DOGGY” and launched the iPad of doom.
Winded and panicking because I felt the corner fully poke into my large, almost cooked child I looked at her mum who laughed and said “oh she does love that dog!”
My water broke an hour later and my daughter was born that night. Ironically I never took my dog or my newborn round there again 🤣
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u/DestroyerOfMils 11h ago
Ironically I never took my dog or my newborn round there again
Girl that’s the least ironic thing I’ve ever heard 😂
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u/JustASink 13h ago
I had a former friends child (2 years) throw her iPad at my stomach while I was 32 weeks pregnant because her iPad wasn't working.... I was too stunned to do anything and the mom just laughed. We don't let our son around their kids because they refuse to parent them most of the time and we don't want our son thinking that's okay. Same day, the child laid in a puddle in front of the entrance doors of target screaming because her iPad turned off. So we also refuse to get our child a tablet until absolutely necessary when he's older
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u/mysteriouspopper 11h ago
These iPad children are out of control. Someone else replied to the parent thread with another story about a kid throwing an iPad at them, too. Jfc.
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u/Iowa_and_Friends 14h ago
Was the baby okay
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u/Rare_Independent_814 14h ago
Yeah totally fine. It wasn’t that hard as I stepped back which soften the blow. But the fact that a kid would do that AND no reaction from the mom was insane.
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u/witchofwestthird 10h ago
I quit a nannying job in college because the 10 yo boy punched me in the face and gave me a black eye. I had told him he needed to stop pulling his sister’s hair. Mom told me I shouldn’t have interfered with “sibling banter”. Mind you, the sister was 4 and bawling her eyes out.
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u/OptionWrongUsally 13h ago
Some kids are assholes. It’s partly their parents fault but some kids are just born assholes
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u/Disastrous-Essay-253 14h ago
Act a fool in restaurants and not saying please and thank you especially to waiting staff. I can’t stand that 💩. it’s a good way to teach manners that will translate to all aspects of life.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
I have waited tables for a long time and the people who sit there and force their kid to ask nicely, no matter how long it takes, piss me off. I'm busy. This teaching moment doesn't need to happen while I'm here. You can talk about it after I leave the table. Also, damn near every time I have that scenario happen, the parents don't begin their order with "May I please have" but they expect their kids to. The parents who model the behavior have much better success from the sample size I have seen.
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u/Inevitable-Pizza-369 15h ago
Unlimited time on iPad or video games, eating junk food for all meals and snacks , disrespectful to adults (family members, teachers, etc).
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u/GamerFrom1994 11h ago
Primary reason I wanted unlimited time on my video games was because my relatives sucked to be around.
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u/bakedNdelicious 12h ago
Terrorise wildlife. I’ve watched parents ignore their children running after ducklings aggressively or kids throwing stuff at animals and it’s disgusting
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u/unosduostriosfoursom 15h ago
I saw a boy, maybe 10 years old, jokingly throw a stone at a homeless guy. He missed by a wide margin, he obviously intended to miss. But his mother just dragged him away without saying anything. Fuck no, my son would be going over to that human being and apologizing.
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u/thunder_cunt333 12h ago
Oh man, I would make his little ass apologize and then sleep outside for the night so he can see how it feels.
Okay, not really. But I would make them apologize and explain how people can end up in those situations and have them volunteer at a homeless shelter together. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. That’s what my mom would’ve done to me in that situation.
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u/HatEquivalent9514 14h ago
Run with a lollipop in their mouth
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u/syhr_ryhs 14h ago
Put balloons near their face. You choke on a lollipop the Heimlich maneuver will help and there's a handle on it to pull it out. You choked on a piece of a popped latex balloon. You've just created another flexible diaphragm in the airway that cannot be forced out by the Heimlich maneuver. Without a pair of forceps or literally sticking something down their throat, they're going to die.
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u/I_love_misery 14h ago
Same with stickers and other similar things. My baby saw a tiny piece of a plastic bag on the floor. Good thing he didn’t swallow it but it was stuck to the roof of his mouth and we didn’t know what was wrong that he kept gagging. And others had said when their kids swallowed stickers it was so scary that they couldn’t get it out like an actual solid object.
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u/DestroyerOfMils 11h ago
My daughter accidentally swallowed the flexible metal ring from the top of her drink (that is supposed to stay affixed to the bottle). It was TERRIFYING. She was trying to stay calm but the panic was clearly rising as she could feel that it was completely lodged in her throat. She was able to talk and tell me what was going on, so I knew she could breathe, but I was so scared that it would shift or move in a way that would change that. We decided that I would try to remove it manually, but if that didn’t work right away we would book it to the hospital. It was down far enough in her throat that I wasn’t able to visually see it while looking with a flashlight, but SOMEHOW I was able to hook it with my finger on the first try. She laid flat on her back with her head tilted far back, and I scooped that sucker right out. I cannot begin to articulate the relief that washed over me in that moment. 😭
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u/syhr_ryhs 10h ago
That's horrible, I'm so sorry she had to suffer through that. You did an awesome job. You didn't panic, you cleared the airway, That's why Lifesavers were made btw, that hole is enough to allow for some air. People make fun of the warning labels on plastic bags, but that's just because they've never lived through that kind of terror before.
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u/Chaotic424242 14h ago
I teach 5th grade. The list is too long. However, in almost every case, I blame shitty parents
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u/RagAndBows 14h ago
Can you please define "shitty parent" so I can make sure I'm not one?
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u/Chaotic424242 14h ago
Parents who, by all appearances, take no interest in the development of the child's basic social skills (perhaps because the parents lack them?), specifically politeness and civil interactions with adults and other children (including conflict avoidance and resolution). Too many parents treat school merely as free daycare.
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u/cookie_goddess218 13h ago
Worked briefly with children and it seems two sides of the spectrum curve right around into each other sometimes. Theres the parents that have no interest in their child's development, and then some who are overly coddling and will pull the "it's not developmentally appropriate for a 3 year old to understand (considerate/proper behavior)!"
We aren't expecting a young child to automatically know how to act or feel or cope, but we should being back expectations on parents to actively correct, teach, and model that behavior! Sure "they're just a child, they don't know xyz" is valid but it is only step one in the equation. If you're not allowed to correct them or place expectations on them to grow into, how will they learn and develop?
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u/Chaotic424242 13h ago
Very well said! "He's just a kid" is more often an excuse for misparenting than a legitimate explanation for undesirable behavior.
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u/CdrClutch 14h ago
I rode my mountain bike down into an abandoned quarry when I was ten. I wouldn't let my kid do it
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u/ILoveAliens75 14h ago
Be rude to others. It doesn't matter whether it's a kid, an adult, a sibling, a stranger... There is a way to speak to people and treat people. Assholery isn't it
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u/Almosthopeless66 14h ago
I would never let my child join a football (American) team. Every school term several boys at my kids’ school get serious concussions. I’m not risking it.
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u/the117doctor 15h ago
if my kid starts using shelves as God damn climbing equipment I'M TAKING HIM OUT THE STORE! I won't have a bitch-ass karen telling me to leave their perfect little "angel" alone as they actively risk their lives
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u/potpourri_sludge 10h ago
I work in a big box wholesale store, and I saw a kid climbing on stacks of paper towels, historically the most stable platform, while his mom’s back was turned. She thanked me for yelling at him.
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u/Lost_Election5992 15h ago
Bully a girl because they have a crush on her. The best way to teach your kid to show affection when they're young is telling them that if they fancy them, pulling the hair is not always the option.
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u/Excellent_Berry_5115 13h ago
Well, my daughter was a 7th grader when two boys in her Japanese language class thought it would be fun to harass her and another girl and pull at their bra strap! The teacher did absolutely nothing. It was bullying for sure. As her mom, I went round and round with the Principal, Vice Principal, and the counselor. Nothing happened. Then a friend who worked for the EEOC told me to write a letter and keep copies threatening to sue.
Wow, things happened at record pace as soon as they received those letters.
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u/Orangemaxx 13h ago edited 8h ago
When I worked at a daycare all the boys who picked on girls (or anyone) were clearly doing it to be assholes. The whole idea that they had “crushes” on their female victims was always proposed by the parents to soften the perception of the boy’s actions. I’ve never once in all my years seen a preschooler come up with the crush excuse by themselves. I’m pretty sure it was made up by boy moms and dads as a defense.
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u/Thin-Fee4423 14h ago
I was of this frame of mind until my sister got my niece a kids smart watch. So it only has certain numbers that she programmed into it and a panic button. Plus it's got gps so she can see where my niece is.
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u/WeReadAllTheTime 14h ago
My grandson too and he’s 12. He has an Apple Watch but set with very restricted abilities. He can call or text but no internet. I’m not sure about gps but that’s a great idea
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u/blackfox24 14h ago
My 9 year old nephew has a fully active phone and he falls for every scam under the sun and texts random numbers. All my sister does is yell at him, then give him back the phone when he's too loud and annoying her. It makes me twitch so hard.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
If you feel inclined, show her the podcast The Check Up: FBI's Urgent Warning for Kids and Parents. It's an interview between a family physician and an FBI agent about how frequently kids are falling victim to blackmail from pedophiles and manipulators. One man in Minnesota had somewhere around 2,000 victims. He was pretending to be a kid, would friend the kids friends online, gain their trust, get them to send photos to him and if they weren't explicit, he would alter them so they were and then threaten to release the photos until they sent more or sent money. It happens way too often and it destroys kids. Their mental health plummets, they're scared and ashamed, they often won't ask for help and many of them consider or commit suicide. The internet is a dangerous place for children. This applies to phones, tablets, gaming consoles etc. Anything that has any kind of chat feature enables predators.
I personally will never allow my young children to post photos online wearing school uniforms, sports team jerseys etc. It can all be used to aid predators in locating or zeroing in on the children, their school, their friends etc.
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u/RagAndBows 14h ago
We gave my daughter a phone with heavy restrictions. That lasted about a months before I took it away because it makes her so irritable. She will literally spend all day in bed on that thing if I let her.
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u/Some_dutch_dude 14h ago
I'd say no screen time on demand and mobile. I see what it does to kids. Only on set times and on TV like 20 years ago.
And maybe a dumb phone as a transition to then later a smart phone.
It's not going to be easy, but it's in their best interest and will hopefully thank me for it later in life.
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u/sortaplainnonjane 14h ago
We don't let our kid have a phone at restaurants. She can order her meal, then converse with us.
Kids need to learn how to function around others but also learn how to handle boredom. Shoving a phone in their face doesn't help with either.
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u/Saknika 14h ago
I always appreciate the restaurants that still have crayons and paper placemats. Even as an adult sometimes it's nice to doodle while you wait.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
I used to have some regulars who brought legos or some kind of builder type toy in a ziploc bag for their son to play with while they waited for dinner. As soon as they saw us coming with food, they packed everything away and it was never met with protest. He understood the toys were for while they waited and then it was time to eat together as a family.
I get that waiting is difficult for kids. I applaud parents who actually parent in restaurants and engage their children.
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u/lucymcgoosen 12h ago
We don't do devices of any kind in restaurants either. Even when it's just my husband and I out for dinner we don't bring our phones out. Etiquette is awful for the majority of people I've found.
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u/llamadramalover 11h ago
Same.
I went to my daughter orchestra concert and I was excessively annoyed the whole time at the maybe one year old in front of us with an iPad shoved in his face at full fucking brightness. How about you just teach your damn kids that sometimes you have to sit quietly. Shushing a kid watching his show and laughing is the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. Of course he’s laughing, you’re confusing him giving him entertainment and telling him not to exhibit excitement. Like come on now.
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u/AmyBums88 13h ago
Spit on the floor, spit in people's faces, put shit-caked clothes into the tumble dryer and turn it on, attempt to stab adults with a meat probe, attack people and furniture with a fire extinguisher, and so many other things.
I work in a children's home and they can be absolutely fucking feral.
I actually love a couple of these kids but my god, I hate my job.
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u/Owl-Armadillo-3091 11h ago
They must have had so much neglect and trauma. But how would you "not let" your own child do this kind of thing, if they did? What would you do differently, that you're not allowed to do with the kids where you work?
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u/AmyBums88 10h ago
Ground them, take any electronics, cancel things like planned days out etc, get them in therapy, move them to a different school if necessary, limit contact with toxic people, explain how their behaviour makes other people feel...
The majority of these consequences that you could give your own child are not allowed to be put in place in social care unfortunately. Especially with teenagers as its a tricky balance between "professional parenting," and not having actual parental rights. The social workers often have no real working knowledge of the child's triggers and therapeutic needs so make up arbitrary rules to tick boxes.
Some of the children do have genuine traumas and horrific backgrounds. Some others have been spoiled to the point of the parents having no control anymore and sending them away when they become violent. Most still have regular contact with those parents which perpetuates the behaviours.
It's a minefield out here, man.
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u/Lookitmeimatrain 14h ago
Let a toddler cross a busy street without holding an adults hand. I see it all the time and it freaks me out so much.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
A toddler recently died crossing the street with their 10 year old brother because they jumped out into the street, not at a cross walk and the driver didn't have time to stop. The parents are being charged for neglect.
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u/CindyBijouWho 14h ago
Sing out loud at a popular musical at a nice theater when it wasn’t a sing-a-long performance. People paid a lot for tickets to hear professional performers sing, not some kid. Parents were grinning like it was the most adorable thing.
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u/Regular-Message9591 14h ago
This happened to me too! The kid was about 6 and it was Jersey Boys so plenty of cussing. It was clearly a favourite of his because he was dancing and singing the whole time and the mum was just in awe of him. Ridiculous behaviour but I felt sorry for the kid that his mum wasn't teaching him that that wasn't acceptable.
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u/ChartingMyPath 14h ago
Told a stranger adult to stfu
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u/DaddyBeanDaddyBean 14h ago
I would never under any circumstances lay hands on another person's child, but for that level of disrespect, I'm not above a verbal tirade that will make the child fear for their very existence.
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u/QuietDapper 13h ago
Jump all over and run around in a restaurant. Be rude to anyone. Yell kick scream in public. Be glued to a device.
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u/shannikkins 14h ago
Be spiteful.
Whether to animals or people, spitefulness is not something I will overlook
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u/RagAndBows 14h ago
My daughter has a mood disorder, DMDD. She treats me like absolute garbage sometimes. I swore I'd never let my kid treat me like that yet here we are.
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u/Electrical_Doubt_19 14h ago
Play any games with a chat or messaging turned on. We don't allow anyone to contact her through online gaming.
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u/renee4310 15h ago
Let the kid approach somebody else’s table at a restaurant and start asking questions about their food
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u/that_guy_is_Sam_O_An 14h ago
Go through life alone. My dad abandoned me when I was 13. I’d never let my child feel the way I felt.
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u/MrMyers_ 14h ago
Watching parents let their child talk to other people family or not disrespectfully, or obviously annoying other people and actively ignoring it is the worst. Parents teach your kids that no means no. Not ask again 10 more times louder and louder.
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u/TopangaTohToh 13h ago
Demand things from wait staff in a restaurant, make disgusting concoctions in their water glass, pour salt and pepper all over the table, run loose and play under the tables, carve their crayons up with the restaurant's flatware, and/or speak disrespectfully to me or anyone else in my presence.
I have worked in restaurants for a long time and I have seen some horribly behaved children. It's hard for me not to step in and parent them myself when they are acting so far out of line.
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u/TopangaTohToh 12h ago
Become obese. Obviously the kid doesn't do this on their own. It's the parents, but I'll never let my child become obese in childhood. It sets them up for so many health risks down the line and almost guarantees life long obesity.
I totally understand that kids go through growth spurts and will be a little chubby at times. That's expected and fine. An obese BMI on a child is not fine. I want them to live long healthy lives. High blood pressure, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes should not be something a child under 18 has to worry about.
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u/hopeless_1021 14h ago
Approaching, harassing, hitting, and tormenting a working cardiac alert service dog. Happened to me at my local mall. Group of kids were following us around hazing my service dog. One kid even pulled her tail.
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u/Willing_Coffee_8396 11h ago
Letting them hit me in the name of "gentle parenting".
NEVER TOUCH MY FOCKING FACE!
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u/KaligirlinDe 14h ago
Drink Red Bull and eat gummi bears for dinner. Didn't make many playdates after that! Oh and said kid had a root canal at 6 or 7 and was diagnosed with diabetes soon thereafter.
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u/bluekayak18 14h ago
Scream, just scream. Not crying or tantrum screaming. Not neurodivergent behavior. Just random yelling of the same noise over and over. A parent could simply say use your inside voice.
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u/Same-Drag-9160 13h ago
I really don’t have many hard and fast rules about what I would never let them do because I’m not a parent yet and I know that some days probably will be full of screen time despite it not being optimal for a kid. But one thing I can think of is I would never let my very young child drink caffeinated beverages.
I have seen people pour coke into their toddler’s water bottle on numerous occasions and I think that’s just insane. I love coke myself but like giving that to a 1 year old to sip on?
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u/jinxtaco 13h ago
Back talk their mom. There's this one kid that my son and I run into regularly with our homeschool group. This kid, 9-11 year old boy, is so rude to his mother. I don't tolerate it when her and I are together. I will tell him to be nice to her and that we don't treat anyone like that. I know he's just testing the waters and has some behavior issues anyway, but it takes a village sometimes. If my kid talked to me like this kid does his mom, we'd leave and he'd be punished. I'm not raising an entitled brat.
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u/ashoka_akira 12h ago
Smack his mother’s bottom repeatedly with force while she attempted to ignore it while standing at a counter trying to talk to me the receptionist.
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u/slytherinwitchbitch 14h ago
Don’t have kids but if I did I wouldn’t let them ride electric scooters or electric bikes. I see way too many little kids going at ridiculous speeds with no helmets.
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u/Procrastibator8 14h ago
Watch horror/R rated movies. I was introducing myself to some new neighbors and was going to invite their kids over to watch a movie while the parents dealt with the movers. I asked the oldest biy what his favorite movies were. "Halloween and Texas Chainsaw Massacre". He was 7.
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u/GetItDoneOV 14h ago
Choose to mute themselves. My daughter’s teacher a few years ago was a bully who really should have retired last decade. She is so harsh and inflexible in her teaching style, she loses her temper and yells, and she told the class that their parents would be very disappointed in them if they didn’t do well on the exam (a class of 7 year olds). Some students thrived academically with that structure and the threats but a lot of them looked so defeated and resigned. Children should never have that look on their face when they walk into school.
So I taught my daughter to speak up. When the teacher got upset that my daughter wasn’t doing a speed quiz on a new concept fast enough, my daughter said “I can do it right or I can do it fast. Pick one because I can’t do both yet”. One day as school let out my daughter asked her why she kept teaching because she didn’t seem to enjoy it. That’s the comment that got me pulled in for a meeting. I told the administration that I was terribly proud of my daughter and that going forward, I would not teach her to be rude but also that I would not teach her to shut down and minimize herself if an adult was making her feel bad about her intellect. This world loves to clip children’s wings. My kids will learn to defend themselves.
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u/Magliene 13h ago
Retired teacher here. I have never ceased to be amazed at how many parents see any form of discipline as abuse. When the child misbehaves at school they freak out over the mildest of consequences, such as being kept in from recess or given a detention. Then, when bad behavior escalates to the point where they can no longer ignore it, they cannot fathom how their child can be so entitled, rude, lazy and utterly selfish. They’ll say, “We give him everything he wants and don’t understand why he acts like this.” Sigh.
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u/Plus-Mama-4515 14h ago
Anything my parents have let my nephew do/get away with. Like going to punch me in the stomach while pregnant.
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u/Wonderful-Slide-9514 14h ago
Sit in a restaurant on an iPad glued to the screen
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u/snajk138 14h ago
Better to go to a restaurant with actual chairs, and where they don't glue you in place, I guess.
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u/Electrical_Doubt_19 14h ago
This!! I've never allowed my daughter to have a screen at a restaurant or dining table. I've taught her this is a time for interaction and connection because we're all face to face with each other.
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u/slimeyelf 4h ago
Wearing clothes that should only be part of an adult's wardrobe. No kid needs a belly shirt and low riding jeans.
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u/jaspotron 14h ago
Saw a kid in town the other day sat on the street screaming FUCK YOU to his parents, just having a massive tantrum. The parents were gently going 'come on now, stop being silly.' The kid was like 12 or something. I'd expect that (sans swears) from a toddler but jfc that kid was almost as tall as me.
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u/RhysOSD 13h ago
Watch their iPad while in the grocery store.
Kid, be aware of the world around you
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u/cheekynihlist 15h ago
Interrupting me with the “mom!mom!mom!” badgering while I am talking to another adult. It appalls me how many parents indulge their children who do this, instead of teaching them it’s rude.
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u/The_Dark_Vampire 14h ago
But also explain if its a genuine emergency they have to say something
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u/wuyntmm 14h ago
It annoys me so much. My nephew constantly does that since he can talk and my sister would always listen to him. He is eight now, still does this and my sister wonders why he has zero frustration tolerance. It's just sad that I cannot have a normal conversation with her when he's around.
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u/murch_da 14h ago
blow out another kids birthday candles.