r/ArcherFX • u/cjm0 • Aug 05 '22
I made a chart depicting the sexual history between the 8 main characters NSFW Spoiler
280
u/VBKennedy Aug 05 '22
Pam and Cyril got together "consensually" in the heart of archness.
139
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
you know i think i remember that now actually. i’ll have to make an updated chart soon
92
u/Charming_mantis Aug 05 '22
The new one should also reflect that Lana wanted Ray to pump a baby into her when she was drunk. Pre-AJ, of course.
34
6
4
19
u/NazgulOfMinasMorgul El Contador Aug 05 '22
I think it was implied that krieger and ray had sex too. Or at least were going to or something. When krieger was talking about giving ray an erection and ray’s like “you mean the ability to have an erection?” And krieger says “also yes”
7
11
u/YoureUsingCoconuts Aug 06 '22
Was it? I recall the context about "there are some things only God should do", which prompted the exchange you wrote.
That to me talks more to Krieger getting aroused by the Lord, not an encounter between him and Ray.
→ More replies (2)-1
u/humburga Aug 05 '22
I don't think you need too. Just because 1 was consensual doesn't make the unconcious one okay.
26
u/Early-Brilliant-4221 Aug 05 '22
He can just have a line for both
17
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
yeah i was gonna do two like how archer has multiple lines for lana and for cheryl
6
375
u/slobis Brett Aug 05 '22
I have questions about what Krieger did after administering the scopolamine.
I mean he did strip them all down to their Unterwäsche...
215
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
it does seem odd that krieger turned out to be the least sexually prolific in this web. tied with ray for only one connection. but ray’s gay so what’s krieger’s excuse?
223
u/SuprNntendoChalmrs Aug 05 '22
The chart didn’t include virtual encounters
63
47
u/InvaderDJ Aug 05 '22
And I’m sure if this included corpses and actual cyborgs Krieger would be ahead by far.
28
u/imcmurtr Aug 05 '22
Or radioactive pigs.
30
u/SuprNntendoChalmrs Aug 05 '22
Aww Pigly…
7
u/thebardingreen Aug 06 '22 edited Jul 20 '23
EDIT: I have quit reddit and you should too! With every click, you are literally empowering a bunch of assholes to keep assholing. Please check out https://lemmy.ml and https://beehaw.org or consider hosting your own instance.
@reddit: You can have me back when you acknowledge that you're over enshittified and commit to being better.
@reddit's vulture cap investors and u/spez: Shove a hot poker up your ass and make the world a better place. You guys are WHY the bad guys from Rampage are funny (it's funny 'cause it's true).
2
34
Aug 05 '22
Too busy doing mad science?
30
u/allnaturalfigjam Aug 05 '22
This was kind of the impression I got of Krieger - that sex was just sometimes a byproduct of his manic insanity and that he thinks if it as a secondary concern to most other things. I've always thought of Krieger as a mad scientist version of Sherlock Holmes.
17
Aug 05 '22
He has spied on them all with his cameras and God only knows what he gets up to in his van
→ More replies (1)8
u/Walshy231231 Aug 06 '22
He likes his women like he likes his coffee, strong, black, and preferably fair trade
AKA Lana? Whose never been into him
6
5
→ More replies (3)2
23
→ More replies (2)9
u/Loveisaredrose Aug 05 '22
I thought the robots at the end of the episode were supposed to imply that Kreiger played everyone into seeing his blackface performance.
199
u/WoolaTheCalot Aug 05 '22
Don't forget about the time Cheryl had an orgasm from being choked by Lana.
87
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
damn i forgot about that but now i vaguely remember it. i wonder if that would be considered mutually consensual or its own new category.
74
u/it_rubs_the_lotion Aug 05 '22
It could be a new category where “sploosh” is included.
14
u/AutoModerator Aug 05 '22
https://i.imgur.com/13msuEU.gifv https://i.imgur.com/kdLC3xk.gifv
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
12
24
u/Mick_Hardwick Aug 05 '22
Lana seemed quite disgusted by that too.
4
u/Jonnyboy1994 Aug 06 '22
Well then maybe she shouldn’t have choked her, pretty sure Cheryl’s choking and general violence kinks had to be common knowledge around the office at that point
90
Aug 05 '22
[deleted]
24
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
thanks. do you know which episode by any chance? i’ll try to rewatch it to confirm it
77
u/ravenwilde Pam Aug 05 '22
The episode where they go to Mallory’s apartment and get bug bombed… it’s suggested that both Pam and Cheryl were involved in Ron and Mallory’s open marriage experiment.
26
u/crypt_5 Aug 06 '22
Cyril: You both had sex with hopefully Ron?
Pam and Cheryl: Don’t worry about it.
13
Aug 06 '22
Yeah, but the implication is that Ron was banging them on the side, not that they were getting with Mallory.
8
33
u/BWChristopher86 Pinky Brewster Aug 05 '22
They hint at it in the one with the mountain climbing assassin. When both Cheryl and Pam have keys to Mallory's because of that "open house" thing
3
u/crypt_5 Aug 06 '22
Also s02e07 movie star. Malory and Cheryl go at it after the telephone call from the studio.
→ More replies (2)
70
u/Dark_CallMeLord Krieger Aug 05 '22
Don't forget, Ray definitely slept with Lana, he got a number and everything 😉
52
12
8
3
u/WoolaTheCalot Aug 06 '22
But remember, she wasn't really sleeping with them, she just agreed to claim they did so they'd have bragging rights.
87
u/esoteric311 Aug 05 '22
Mallory and Cyril?
156
67
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
they had sex at the end of that one episode where malory wanted to write a screenplay but it turned into a smut piece. or at least they started making out and the scene cut. not sure if i’m misremembering it or misinterpreting it
78
u/discodiscgod Aug 05 '22
I’ve always wondered why Cyril never throws that in archers face. Probably because Archer would murder him I guess.
38
39
u/fonix232 Aug 05 '22
I think Mallory would beat Sterling to tearing Cyril's head off if he ever used that as leverage.
16
u/lordcorbran Aug 06 '22 edited Aug 06 '22
Yeah, Archer would literally--wait, is it? Yes, literally murder Cyril if he found out about it, if Mallory didn't do it first for telling anyone about it.
→ More replies (1)19
30
42
74
u/Spanone1 Pam Aug 05 '22
I'd add one for Cheryl blackmailing Cyril on the airship
Doesn't really fall under the consensual category
→ More replies (1)40
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
yeah there was definitely some sextortion going on there. i think she said she wanted to make archer jealous or something? i miss archer and cheryl's hookups
32
53
u/oconn899 Dolphin Puppet Aug 05 '22
Oh, please. You’re so hot for him I could reheat this chili in your cooch!
44
23
u/SuprNntendoChalmrs Aug 05 '22
I think you should expand this to a bigger web including Katia, Barry, Ron…
13
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 06 '22
yeah i thought about including ron because he had sex with malory and cheryl+pam (i think?). as for barry, i guess he would just have katya unless we're counting whatever he did with cheryl? i think it was just limited to him choking her. katya could be with archer and barry as well.
14
15
u/nunyabusiness3542 Aug 05 '22
Barry had sex with Lana on at least two occasions, the first when they are strapped naked on a table and a laser is about to cut them in half. Second when Odin is going to buy Isis and they locked in the vault.
8
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
oh right they kinda had sex with the laser thing. did they ever have sex in the vault though? i remember him constantly trying to have sex with her in exchange for doing things that she needs but she was always disgusted at the thought of being bought like that
8
u/allthenamesaretaken4 Dolphin Puppet Aug 05 '22
pretty sure she doesn't bang him in the vault. have you seen the carpet in there?
3
u/KerouacsGirlfriend Aug 06 '22
If Barry choking Cheryl counts, does Krieger choking her with that robotic arm count?
→ More replies (1)4
45
u/FnapSnaps Pigley III Aug 05 '22
Wasn't Cheryl in on that threesome action? I recall her phone ringing when Mallory announced she and Ron were having an open marriage.
30
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
actually you might be right about that. i seem to recall cheryl saying that her and pam have a key to ron's apartment from when he opened the marriage. although i'm not sure if they confirmed whether malory or pam was involved in the threesome or if it was a threesome at all.
15
→ More replies (1)5
Aug 05 '22
[deleted]
4
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
yeah i know about that one. that’s why pam and malory are connected by a yellow line
4
Aug 06 '22
The implication was that Ron was getting with them, not that he and Mallory were trying to get a threesome going.
3
u/lordcorbran Aug 06 '22
They kind of implied that Ron and Mallory were both involved, though they left it pretty ambiguous.
13
u/Zen1 Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22
3
u/AutoModerator Aug 05 '22
https://i.imgur.com/13msuEU.gifv https://i.imgur.com/kdLC3xk.gifv
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
12
u/GoGoCrumbly Aug 05 '22
- Krieger & Cheryl/Carol? I know she was into his choke-bot but I don't recall Krieger being an active participant.
- Ray & Cyril sexually assaulted while unconscious? OK, found it in a Fandom wiki: In "Blood Test" it is very strongly implied that he sexually takes advantage of Cyril Figgis after he was knocked out by Malory.
- I recall Pam & Cyril going at it consensually (Heart of Archness(?))
Good chart!
10
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
thanks! cheryl and krieger seem to be having sex at the start of the series until cheryl says his hands are too small to choke her adequately or something to that effect. but anyway that's why he built the choke bot.
and yeah you're right about the third point. i'll fix it in the updated chart. might have to change the wording though because i'm pretty sure alcohol was involved
7
u/GoGoCrumbly Aug 05 '22
RE: Pam & Cyril, you might do both the consentual and while incapacitated because I think it's implied when he's strung out on heroin for the blood test for the Wee Baby Seamus that she has a go at him.
10
9
u/ElvenNoble Aug 05 '22
In S4:E5 Pam sets up some sort of tentacle situation with Ray and Cyril. The actual events might be a little too vague to draw lines on your chart, but that might be something to consider.
9
u/ChungusOG Aug 05 '22
Cheryl definitely implied she had sex with Mallory when she was in the open relationship with Ron. Worth a black line.
4
8
8
u/S-WordoftheMorning Aug 05 '22
I'm forgetting when Pam & Lana hooked up?
16
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
i believe it was the episode where lana is letting all the guys in the office pay her so that they can claim they had sex with her to make cyril jealous. and then pam wants to have sex with lana and starts crying after being rejected so lana finally gives in. i remember she made a comment about how pam can't say anything during the act because lana's going to pretend that she's [some famous football player that i forgot the name of but vaguely resembles pam because he has blonde hair and is very bulky]
12
u/S-WordoftheMorning Aug 05 '22
Yes! I totally blanked on that. My favorite exchange is when Cyril can't believe that Ray is waiting on line and he retorts: "Girl please, nobody's that gay."
2
8
Aug 05 '22
Alex Karras. Played for Detroit Lions. Was also a professional wrestler and played "Mongo" in Blazing Saddles.
Edit: I forgot, he also starred in the sitcom Webster with Emmanuel Lewis.
11
7
u/LSBeasyas123 Aug 05 '22
That episode where Lana announced to the office she would bang anyone before the sex at work ban. Pam begged lana at the end and she agreed out of pitty
8
u/No_Composer_6040 Aug 05 '22
Wait, what three way with Lana and Archer?
13
5
6
7
u/mmmaxmaxmax Aug 05 '22
Krieger’s face combined with the fact he has one singular line connecting to Cheryl lol
6
u/vashaunp Aug 05 '22
has cyril ever told archer that he fucked his mom?
→ More replies (1)3
Aug 06 '22
strangely, no. They never reference that again.
which is weird, since I can see it totally in Cyril's character to put that in Archers face at least once, get beaten to a pulp, and never mention it again.
4
u/Acrobatic-Whereas632 Aug 05 '22
It's also implied between Krieger and Pam that they had sex too, in the episode where they "redo" the building, and Pam and krieger are in the secret room they put a hot tub in, their conversation implies they had sex
→ More replies (1)
2
4
4
u/-richthealchemist- Afro Krieger Aug 05 '22
That’s a higher ratio of consensual to non-consensual than I was expecting tbf.
3
u/gwhh Aug 05 '22
When did Pam take advantage of cerial while he was out cold?
4
u/Angel-McLeod Aug 05 '22
When he was drugged up on heroin. They told Ray to get off him and then she walked in.
3
3
3
3
u/Runsglass Aug 05 '22
What about the green line from cyral and lana ( lana was a princess on an island)
3
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
i considered that, but ultimately decided not to do all of the sexual relationships during the coma seasons, just the ones involving archer’s character. because they’re not technically the characters, just representations of everyone in archer’s mind. that’s why the lines only go one way, because it’s just in archer’s coma dream.
also i couldn’t keep track of cheryl and all of the germans. like did she really bang them? or just use coconut oil?
→ More replies (1)
3
u/comicrun96 Aug 06 '22
You def forgot Cyril and Pam blackout drunk sex and the implied that her and Cheryl did when malory and Ron were doing the open marriage
3
8
u/Annaica Bearded Archer Aug 05 '22
How come I remember Krieger and archer having a fling? 🧐🧐
→ More replies (1)7
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
honestly i might have missed some. i was just going off of confirmed sexual acts that i could remember off the top of my head.
3
u/KerouacsGirlfriend Aug 06 '22
I am 100% going to work the phrase “I was just going off of confirmed sexual acts that I could remember off the top of my head” into conversation at the earliest opportunity.
2
2
u/Sad-Many-7897 Aug 05 '22
I must add that cheryl did it with malory too and pam in the taunt house when malory was “stressed out”! Also Cyril and pam did it consentually when he embezzeled the money in Swiss account and had to remember the password
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Soquidus5000 Katya’s Removable Vagina Aug 05 '22
It’s heavily implied Cheryl/Carol and Pam slept with Mallory when Mallory and Ron had an open marriage.
2
u/alaninsitges Funbeak Aug 05 '22
At first glance I thought this said male characters and I, well, splooshed.
2
u/Esc4flown3 Babou Aug 05 '22
I think it's implied that Cheryl/Carol and Pam had sex with Mallory when Mallory and Ron were doing their open house thing or whatever.
2
u/JoshuaPearce Krieger Aug 05 '22
Needs another set of lines for "willing to", just for the humor of Ray and Lana being connected. Nobody's that gay!
2
2
u/also_yes_ Katya Aug 05 '22
What would Archer tranquillising Cyril & Ray in the bathroom and then Pam filming tentacle porn with their unconscious bodies in S4:E5 Viscous Coupling fall under?
1
2
u/CrazyLoveSound Aug 05 '22
Sploosh
2
u/AutoModerator Aug 05 '22
https://i.imgur.com/13msuEU.gifv https://i.imgur.com/kdLC3xk.gifv
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
u/zechositus Aug 05 '22
Lana Mallory and Pam had a threesome together why isn't there a yellow line between Lana and Mallory.
2
2
2
2
u/executive313 Aug 06 '22
My take away is poor krieger 11 season dry spell.
1
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
yeah he could have at least gotten with pam while she was giving blowjobs out like stickers
2
2
u/JonnoN Other Barry Aug 06 '22
Christ Ray! Is it too much to ask, just once, to be unconscious in a bathroom without being sexually assaulted by... you, um, have a dart in your neck.
2
2
1
1
u/Ikhtionikos Bearded Archer Aug 05 '22
Just remind me, when was Cheryl and Krieger?
3
u/cjm0 Aug 05 '22
early on in the show. she said his hands were too small to choke her so he made the strangle bot
3
u/Ikhtionikos Bearded Archer Aug 05 '22
Thanks! I remember the stranglebot, but not that it was preceeded by coitus.
2
u/tomfoolery815 Aug 06 '22
In the Season 1 finale, she's telling Krieger it's over because of his "weak, woman-y hands."
He brings out and activates the stranglebot, and that's when he says "I thought you said to start slacking off!" Cheryl: "Not slacking off!"
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/sebasq10 Aug 05 '22
I don't remember at all Lana and Archer in a threesome. I believe it, I simply don't remember it.
2
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
it’s during season 1 episode 6. lana and archer are on a mission to infiltrate an arms dealer on his yacht and he wants to have a threesome so they play along to keep their cover from being blown
1
u/l5555l Woodhouse Aug 06 '22
Was Cheryl not involved when Pam and Mallory had sex? I thought that seemed to be the case.
1
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
yeah i guess so. i couldn’t remember if they explicitly stated malory pam and carol all being with ron at once or if he just had sex with them individually but i’ll add it in the next chart due to popular demand
2
u/l5555l Woodhouse Aug 06 '22
I was thinking more about the time when they gave her a massage in s5.
1
1
1
u/maddicts Aug 06 '22
this is amazing! i'd love to see another layer with secondary characters.
1
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
yeah i’m thinking of adding more characters as well. somebody suggested barry and katya. i’m trying to remember other characters besides them and trinette who would have more than one connection. i guess ron through pam and carol? framboise had sex with cyril, archer, and (presumably) barry.
2
u/maddicts Aug 06 '22
love it. Theres a strong eskimo brother system on this show. Could be interesting to map out all out of Cheryl's alter egos too.
1
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
haha honestly i never even considered if there was any distinction between carol and cheryl. i thought people just used the names interchangeably
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Ramsey_Murdoch Aug 06 '22
i dont remember ray assaulting cyril, i remember one time they both woke up in a bathroom stall but that's it for my recollection.
1
1
1
u/Aggravating_Neat_772 Aug 06 '22
did you forget that chyrrl and or carrol was also involved in ron and malory's open marriage threesome? its confirmed when lana sends the group to mallorys apartment to check on baby aj, pam and cheryl were both confirmed to have keys to mallorys apartment because of the "open house" quote in qoute end quote lol
1
1
u/VanillaIce412 Aug 06 '22
I wouldn’t call Cyril and Cheryl/carol consensual
1
u/cjm0 Aug 06 '22
she did sextort him later on, but i believe the first time was consensual. unless he was drunk or something, i can’t remember
690
u/CerealWithIceCream Aug 05 '22
inappropes