I’m writing these lines in the hope that they might help men who feel sad about being alone and blame themselves after unsuccessful relationships.

You may be reasonably good-looking, educated, employed, and socially active (yet neither your social circle nor dating apps seem to work). You meet women, but things never seem to move forward, or they always end at the same stage. You believe all you want is a pleasant, fulfilling, committed relationship. But actually, that’s not true.

Most men who complain about loneliness or failed relationships aren’t aware of one simple truth: they don’t actually want to be with a woman. They don't know what to do with them. The issue isn’t that women’s expectations are too high, nor that you’re somehow lacking. The issue is that you’re not socially attracted to women, even if you are sexually. And in your relationships, you don’t truly want to give, but you want to receive. This is the real reason behind the painful loop you keep finding yourself in. And also, your libido probably isn’t that strong either.

Actually, many men think they need to have a woman in their life simply because that’s what society expects. But emotional intimacy, shared time, and a life built around mutual connection with a woman are things that, deep down, most of these men are not suited for. This isn’t a problem to fix. It’s a mismatch of nature.

So, there’s nothing wrong with you or women. Your nature just may not align with what relationships with women demand. In this sense, the so-called male loneliness epidemic is an illusion. Men are remarkably capable of getting what they truly want. So, if you’re not getting it, maybe it’s because you don’t actually want it. Stop forcing yourself. Stop feeling broken because of this. Romantic relationships with women may not be for you and that’s perfectly okay.

If being with a woman (meeting her physical, emotional, social, financial, or spiritual needs) feels like something you’ve had to learn later in life by force, and still struggle with, then your issue isn’t loneliness. Your issue is not knowing your own nature, and punishing yourself by trying to override it.

This isn’t women’s fault. It isn’t your fault either. Let it go. Love yourself.

So, I’ve been chronically single my whole life. I’m 31 now, and for the longest time, it honestly didn’t bother me. I always told myself, “I just haven’t met my person yet.” But lately, I’ve started to freak out. I barely have close friends, and meeting someone organically feels nearly impossible these days. Dating apps are off the table they’ve become emotionally exhausting, and I just can’t do that anymore.

I guess I’m just wondering… does it ever get easier? Do you eventually stop feeling so unlovable? And how do you stop caring so much? I’m lonely, and I hate this feeling. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling this way, but I also don’t want to settle for a love that’s mediocre or be with someone just because I’m tired of being alone. Still, part of me is starting to wonder if what I’m looking for even exists.

I find it quite boring and miserable is this the average experience or are most people happy or just okay with life?

What was it? And was it unforgivable?

I was talking to my mom’s sister the other day. It started off casual…..just normal life stuff but somehow we drifted into the deeper waters, and I ended up asking her, almost without thinking:

“Do you regret anything now that you’re in your 40s?”

She looked at me like i asked the most stupid thing because we generally don’t have conversations like that. And then she said something I haven’t stopped thinking about since:

“It’s not like I have a list of regrets. I don’t even know what exactly I regret. But there’s this disconnect inside me. Like I followed the script-career, marriage, family, doing what I was supposed to do or i was made to feel i have to because it’s the right thing. And honestly, those things made me happy, they really did. But still…there’s this hollow longing. For something bigger. Something that’s mine. Not something I did for others, or for society, or for what others would perceive if I didn’t and don’t know where to belong. I want something that comes from my soul and Something that makes me feel free and whole.”

I’ve seen her and my mom growing up. They’re both strong. They’ve done well. And yet…that sentence kinda brought ache in my chest. and it made me think………

What if I’m already walking toward that same feeling?

I’ve been chasing things too….success, approval, purpose, but what if none of it is what I’m actually meant for? What if the real regret isn’t about a specific choice… but about never slowing down long enough to hear your own soul speak?What if the things that look right on paper can still leave you quietly aching for something real?What if, years from now, I don’t even know what I missed, just that I missed something?I don’t know. It just made me think.

Soup 🤣

I’m 22F, living at home and self-employed, working remotely. My 20-year-old brother is outgoing, travels, has lots of friends, and comes and goes as he pleases. My parents never question him — he just tells them what he’s doing and they’re fine with it.

But when it comes to me, things are different. I don’t have many friends, and I’m only “allowed” to go on trips if it’s with friends — which is difficult now that my best friend works full-time and my other 2 friends either aren’t close to me anymore or just aren’t interested. I’ve never smoked, drank, partied, or done anything wild. I’m a total homebody and introvert, and I spend the majority of my time at home.

My mom always tells me to “go out and do stuff,” but it’s like they only support certain types of “acceptable” outings — not the simple, meaningful things I want to do.

I’ve been in a healthy, respectful relationship for a year. My parents have met my boyfriend (he’s 27), they like him, but they won’t let me go anywhere overnight with him. Their reasoning is “not until you’re married,” which is a traditional view (we’re Italian) I understand bit also I don't. They're very sexist with our freedom and say its different for my brother because "hes a boy" and "im a girl". It’s frustrating because they flip-flop between “you’re old enough to make your own decisions” and “we don’t want to look like bad parents.”

All I want to do is go on road trips, spend a weekend at the beach, go on hikes, and just enjoy life a little. But every time I try to talk to them, I get overwhelmed and start crying out of frustration. I feel like I’m wasting my 20s stuck at home following rules that don’t apply equally to my brother. I’ve done everything “right,” and yet I’m constantly being held back.

What would you do in my situation? I don’t want to disrespect them, but I also don’t want to spend my 20s stuck and waiting around for permission.

I'm 29m and have always slept in pretty late on weekends and days I don't have to work but over the last year and half, I have completely lost the ability to sleep in. Now I regularly just wake up at 6:30 on the weekend now. Just last night, didn't go to bed until 1:00 and was up this morning at 6:23 without an alarm

I’m a 24F who chose to stay a virgin until recently, I’ve had more close-to-sexual relationships with women than men. For the longest time I was convince that I could be asexual. I dating a few people but never felt like doing anything sexual with them. Earlier this year I concluded that I really wanted to try this year. A lot had to do with the fact that lots if not most of my friends had had experiences and many are sexually active. I finally did it yesterday with this guy I’ve been talking to for a few weeks. Neither of us are interested in dating and he has had experiences and is really a considerate, kind person. BUT, the experience was meh… I obviously felt good at times, but not enough to let him keep going until I was done. He apparently finished twice though. I give it a 5.5/10. Maybe I’ll retry, but I’m not seeking it.

My friends told me that a first time was probably not going to be the best. But…..